Published by Dr. Andrea Dinardo
Dr. Andrea Dinardo is a positive psychology expert, keynote speaker, and leadership trainer who helps people thrive under pressure and cope with stress. She is a psychology professor at St. Clair College of Applied Arts & Science in Windsor Ontario Canada and a retired psychologist with the College of Psychologists of Ontario. She is also the author of several psychology articles and textbooks and a TEDx presenter who shared her insights on how to turn stress into strength. She has a popular YouTube channel and a blog where she offers psychology tips and exercises for mental health empowerment and daily resilience. She is passionate about applying positive psychology to facilitate personal growth and transformational change in individuals and organizations.
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Thriving Under Pressure 
This is very insightful. I always believed I have reached a point where I know who I am. But I have found some questions in this post that I had not really pondered on, and the funny thing is that for some questions there is no straight yes or no response – I’m like it depends, at times, etc. I also realize that some of my answers now are totally different from what they could be 3-5 years ago.
Thank you for sharing! I love hearing others’ perspectives. From my end: The ultimate knowing is “knowing” how little we know about ourselves & the universe. The continual search for understanding is what makes life worth living! So many layers. So much to discover. You are the rose. The universe is the garden. And how awesome you are! 🌹🌺
This is really beautiful. I love the quote at the end, and the question, “What makes your heart sing?” speaks volumes to me. Here are a few answers….
meditation
service
beauty
my relationship 🙂
ice cream
writing
running
doing forgiveness coaching
sharing creatively
reaching out and connecting
Thanks so much, Andrea. Really great post! Blessings, Debbie
I love how much thought you put into your “Who am I?”.
Your self-awareness & insight is inspiring Debbie! 💃
This is so important! So many people confuse “who they are” with “what the world thinks of me”. And I have been there by myself, those questions are a friendly reminder that we are who we are! Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for your input Suzanne! I love how succinctly you described the evolution of our psyche. We are born knowing who we are. What we need when we need it. No outside validation required. Then slowly over time we’re classically conditioned to look outside of ourselves for what can only be find on the inside. Our true selves. 🦋
A really interesting list of questions, and one I think it would be very useful for me to tackle. And then I get to the last one, “How do you define yourself at the very core of your existence?” and then I get a little scared, I think I want to hide under a blanket from that one for a while. And I think, “I am learning that now?” I am learning it as I go, and it changes, it expands and becomes clearer as I go. I could write it now, but I bet if I wrote it every 10 years it would change. I hope it would change, otherwise what am I learning? Very interesting to contemplate. Thank you 🙂
Your comment has me laughing out loud! Thank you for the feel good moment. For both your candour & your truth. I so get it! The first 19 questions are a warm-up for the TRUE INQUIRY. Who are you (really)? And from what I can see from both your blog & your answer to this question: You my dear, are a whole lot of awesome! 🌟💫
Thank you so much!
This is something I realized a couple of years ago. For seemingly forever, I identified myself as a wife and mother. As my kids have grown up, I realized that I need to identify myself as ME. It’s an ongoing journey.
Kudos to you! Being true to your authentic self = An amazing role model for your children. Multifaceted moms rock! 🥁
Huge fan of this post. I am currently working on this… I love these questions. They are a great jumping point for me to find myself again. I just blogged about 50 things I want to do in the next year and a half. I am trying to figure out who I am and lots of these questions help me.
Good for you Lindsay!
Exploring our changing (and remaining) parts of our identity is so important. And too often overlooked when it comes to motivation & happiness.
I often tell my students that I have never met an unmotivated person, only people who haven’t fully explored “who they are” in relation to what they want to do for a living.
Reflection is everything.
I love the post about taking a “yearly inventory”. I am a big believer that we all change, grow and evolve into different people as we experience this life. So how we see ourselves changes as well. Great post! Thank you for sharing such amazing questions to ponder!
Thanks for your kind words Yamina. I too love the idea of a yearly inventory. Much more personal & helpful than yearly resolutions. We take inventory of our money, our jobs, our homes, our health, so why not add personal growth to the mix. Our unique evolution is always worth celebrating! 💫
Absolutely!
I love this. I think we can get so busy in life at times that we can lose ourselves! (Especially when you throw on kids, spouse, work, etc.) It’s important to stay grounded and always not lose who we are at the core. Have a wonderful day!
Thanks Ipuna! The grounded part of identity is so important. If we get too caught up in managing others’ lives, we lose a piece of ourselves. A simple question once a day, is all it takes to reconnect with our core. (They’re great for “family talk time” too. No internet required.) Enjoy the Nevada sunshine! ☀️
I like that (a simple question once a day). Thank you! Family talk time- always great. NV has some great sunshine right now. Thank you!
Hello Dr Dinardo!
Another thought provoking post, thank you.
It’s a question that I have pondered over very much as an ‘overthinking’ sensitive type. And I had the chance to really explore it last year.
I find as I’m being much more ‘me’, that I’m drawn to different people and situations now. I’m happier to accept myself as I am at last. My new interests are something old friends and even family don’t really want to talk about. I have to push through the fear of being authentic and follow my heart. Thank you again 💐
Wonderful to hear from you again Di! I love how you continue to rise above others’ ideas of who you should be. Following your heart & staying true to your path is the ultimate freedom. And I am honoured to hear that my blog (and these soul questions) help take you there. 🌺
Thank you for your kind and lovely reply Dr Dinardo.
Yes, it really is a sense of freedom. As long as my intentions are based on love, I cannot allow fear and doubt in. And if they do… well, the kindest thing is to just have a cuppa with them for a while and see what they want to share with me….🌸
Your blog is beautiful, thank you 💐🌟
Thanks for this! I think about this a lot and have trouble coming to any answers. Going to use your questions to try to focus and understand myself better!
Thanks for your feedback! One suggestion to help you focus: Instead of wrangling yourself for an answer to each question, see it as an opportunity for reflection. Pick one question and write it on a sticky note for your bathroom mirror. Take a deep breath & quietly ponder your answers while brushing your teeth. (This will help your subconscious mind rise to the surface.) One question per week. Maximum. No pressure. Nothing forced. Simply a breath of fresh air to start your day.
Great post
Thanks Bella! The questions also make great conversation starters for friends & family. 😊
Yes that is true
Really like this. Instead of telling my 4 year old granddaughter to be good at school, I tell her to be her best self.
What a great motivator you are! Your technique encourages your granddaughter to look within to gauge her success. (vs. comparing herself to an ever changing, illusionary measure often dominated by social media) An intrinsic motivation strategy that will serve her well for the whole of her life.🌷
Brilliant Love it 🙂
Thanks Siobhan! 😊
Great points to reflect on as to truly looking at ourselves.
A journey worthwhile.
Love, Love, Love! 🙂
I just had a really interesting discussion with a friend about how we sometimes define ourselves based on outdated self-concepts and how that can have such a negative impact on personal growth… I think I will stop telling people I’m shy because I used to identify with being shy 10 years ago lol Thanks for the post 🙂 love it.
Smiling as I read your comment! So true!
Our self-concept gets so tied up in others ideas of who we are. We’ve changed. We’ve grown. But if we look to others (or our past) as a mirror of who we are, we get lost in history, in an outdated version of who we once were. The person some people desperately need us to be for their own security.
Growth is a painful & evocative process. Yet the rewards of becoming who we are (today) are immense. Free. Peaceful. Authentic. True. Otherwise known as outgoing and radiant. (This is you.) Always in bloom. 🌸
Yes!!! Thanks for always encouraging growth and happiness 🙂 I am so happy that you sometimes fall from the sky and into my office.
Me too! 😊😊
I was thinking about this very subject yesterday on my way home from drill in the National Guard. My identity has changed in many ways in the past 24 months, yet other parts of it have remained static throughout most of my life. It’s interesting to find what’s changed and what has stayed the same. I do this exercise every year or so to take inventory of who I am to make sure I still like me and fix the things I don’t like.
So smart to take a yearly inventory. A point in time to reflect. To go inside. (Such a sharp contrast to the image of the national guard. ) The way you’ve described it is the essence of personal agency. I so admire this.
One of the other ladies, Raili, responded with how I usually respond. I am me.
I love both your answers. I tend to overcomplicate with words. In contrast, both your answers to “Who are you?” are simple. Yet so profound. And true! 💙
I Am – Me 🙂
I love your answer to the final question. Grounded. Soulful. (Mine was love.) ♥️
Thanks Andrea – you posed a lot of interesting questions. But for me it all came to that final answer 🙂
For me too! The rest were warm-up questions. 😊😊
I love that answer! ❤️
🙂
Great questions!
Thanks Lionel! I love conversations that go deep. Whether it be with others or in my own self-reflection. I bet you do too!
I certainly do! However, I’ve learned to be very selective especially deep religious conversation. They tend to give way to who’s right…not what’s right. Of course, you could say just as beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, so is ones position on theology or life for that matter. A vicious circle my friend…lol!
Excellent point! ☀️