It’s ok not to be ok.

As a positive psychologist, I often write about the bright side of life. Including harnessing strengths, enhancing motivation, and flourishing in the wake of adversity.

Not the whole picture

While strengths are vital to realizing one’s full potential – it’s not the whole picture when it comes to living a balanced life.


Embrace the downside

We must also create a safe place to welcome the parts of ourselves (and our life) that weigh us down and cause us despair.

In doing so, we soften the grip of its pain. Whether it be suffering from years gone by or a hardship in current time.

Give pain room to breathe.

its ok to not be ok.

Give disappointments, conflicts, and lost dreams room to breathe.

You are not inadequate because you have depression. You are not unworthy because you’re divorced. You are not unloveable because you have anxiety. You are not undesirable because you’re unemployed. You are not undeserving because you’re broke.

You’re perfect just the way you are

light Rumi

Life ebbs and flows, comes and goes. Like the waves on the ocean shore. You are forever. Your potential grows. It’s ok not to be ok. What comes – also goes.

Welcome it all.

56 thoughts on “It’s ok not to be ok.

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  1. I so enjoy this blog. I just had a guest here at Villa Migelita who is a psychologist. Her and her wife were incredibly fun and intelligent. She had me laughing and laughing. Then she told me one thing about myself before I knew she was even a psychologist. She said stop putting yourself down for things you had no control over. She said look at what you have done after such a devastating loss. She told me to wake up in the morning and the minute I start to think negative about anything to let it go, and think about what I have done positive. I started yesterday. M

    1. Thank you for sharing! It feels good knowing that you’re enjoying my blog. Very motivating! And I love hearing the awesome strategy you learned from one of your resort guests, who happens to be a psychologist. A great technique indeed!

  2. Beautifully written and we know it is from your heart to ours Andrea. Especially like the phrase, “Give your disappointments, your conflicts, your lost dreams room to breathe.” We are learning it is okay to have bad moments and they don’t need to be whisked away but rather to be looked at and learned from. Keep it up Andrea, we needed this one today.

    1. Thank you so much Tom & Audrey! Your thoughtful comments & heart-to-heart receiving of my messages brings me so much joy. Wishing you both a day filled with up, down, and everything in between. ๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒฟ

  3. Beautifully said. This is a great reminder to accept ALL of who we are, as the challenges that come forth in our life is not to be avoided, but to be embraced with loving kindness , compassion, and nurturing ,

    Treat ourselves how we would treat a friend in the same position, say the things to ourselves that we would say to a friend.

    Unattach to the negative labels we have clung onto from the past. We are OK, this is our soulful journey.

    1. I love how you added to the message of self-compassion Stacy. “Treat ourselves how we would treat a friend in the same position, say the things to ourselves that we would say to a friend. ” Amen!

      1. You’re very welcome Dr Dinardo, and yes, it arrived safely all the way ‘downunder’ .
        Have a lovely weekend ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’•

  4. Such an important post. For every one success, we each face so many obstacles – both internal and external. Those challenges, too, are meaningful and just as beautifully okay.

    1. Yes Sue!

      The sooner we embrace all that is, sooner our emotions flow through us. Especially considering how many emotions we experience throughout the course of a day.

      Not feeling good?
      Just wait.. another emotion is on its’ way.

  5. Interesting Andrea – the ebb and flow of life. I’m learning that about depression. Sometimes it’s there for no apparent reason; at other times it disappears, also for no apparent reason. It’s helpful to read your views that this is perfectly normal and to be embraced.

    1. Thank you for sharing Denzil.

      You bring up a very important point about fleeting emotions. And why it’s important to distinguish between normal, fleeting emotions (sadness, stress) vs. dysfunctional, lasting emotions (depression, anxiety).

      One comes & goes, the other remains.


      Sadness is a normal human emotion. Depression is an abnormal emotional state, a mental illness that affects our thinking, emotions, perceptions, and behaviors in pervasive and chronic ways. When we’re depressed we feel sad about everything.”

  6. I enjoyed reading this – I find that during my times of being sad or down are also when I learn the most about myself. Being sad is normal – not sure where we as a society began thinking we should always be “Ok” to be normal. Thanks for sharing.

  7. So true. Sometimes you just have to be with stuff! Thanks for sharing. I have a poetry blog here on WordPress and today’s poem is about watching emotions as they pass by in case you have time to read? Wishing you a good day, Sam ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Amen Samba! The more we fight “our stuff” the greater it fights back. Cheers to a day of “going with the flow” no matter what life brings. In the end – it’s all good. So why not enjoy the ride. ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ’™

  8. I love it! Such a simple concept, but it can be so hard to grasp. I have definitely had a hard time with this before as I’m sure many others have. Feeling mad, sad, bad….any of those things is so natural!

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