Your happiness depends on it.

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Gratitude, Happiness, Inspiration, Mindfulness, Peace, Positive Psychology, Thriving

Most people fight against what brings them despair instead of openly receiving what brings them joy.

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Shift your focus. Change your life.

Consciously accept the good that already exists in your life.

Your health. Your freedom. Your vision. Your voice.

Accepting what is does not lower the bar.

Quite the opposite.

Acceptance opens your eyes to all the favour that exists in your life.

Your hope. Your creativity. Your community. This moment.

And it’s that good feeling that motivates you to strive for more of what’s right for you. Instead of fighting against what’s wrong for you.

Begin by accepting what is.

Moment by precious moment.

Your happiness depends on it.

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 Applying this Post in Everyday Life

  1. The 3 to 1 positivity to negativity ratio is one way of applying this post in your everyday life.
  2. Specifically, each time you criticize something about yourself (or any area of your life); you must acknowledge (accept) three positive aspects about the very thing you condemned. Hence, the 3 to 1 positivity ratio.
  3. For example, each time you put yourself down for not having enough friends, you need to accept three wonderful aspects of spending time alone. (Freedom; Spontaneity; Peace of mind.)
  4. This daily practice helps dampen the adverse impact negativity bias (a type of cognitive distortion) has on your life.

65 thoughts on “Your happiness depends on it.”

  3. Isnt it interesting, I have been reading lately that we naturally tend to focus on the bad things that occured to us instead of the good. I do think a gratitude practice is so important to change our focus, as long as we also deal with what is negative through trying to heal as best we can. This is a lovely reminder. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

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    1. I love it when a fellow blogger takes my ideas to the next level.
      Thanks for your feedback and insights!

      I agree that we have to balance and accept both our lightness and our darkness. As it’s only when we “bare witness” to our sadness, anger, unmet needs that we are able to create enough energy and space for gratitude and acceptance to come in.

      Witnessing our darkness is something I wrote about here:
      https://drandreadinardo.com/2017/08/02/its-ok-not-to-be-ok/

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  5. Truly. A change in perspective is what we need. There are actually more things to be grateful with in life than those that give us despair. If only we’ll just take the time to sort them out.

    Thanks Dr. D for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. generationxishere

    Excellent reminder! I’m guilty of this in a big way and find myself deleting posts because they’re so darned negative. When I look objectively, I remind myself that there is actually much good around me.

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    1. I so get it Ali! We’re all prone to negative thinking. That’s human nature. The key is (as you write above) is to remember how much good exists all around you…. Most of all the goodness in YOU Ali. The good in you. ♥️

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      Reply

    1. For sure Norah!

      The 3:1 practice opens our minds to the “opportunity in each challenge”. For example, most people complain about the shorter, drearier days, and long, cold nights in November. Always asking: Where did the sunshine and daylight go?

      I complain too…

      Until I reflect on “the 3 positive aspects for each of the 1 negative” of November nights.

      November brings:
      1. Fireside conversations,
      2. Cozy blankets, and
      3. A more relaxed social calendar.
      In summary: November nights are filled with warmth, relaxation, and downtime. 🔥

      Your turn…… How would you use 3:1 ratio in your life?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Thanks for the challenge, Andrea.
        For me, November brings
        1. warmer days
        2. spring flowers
        3. bird song heralding each new day
        In summary: November means renewal – refreshed and energised for the longer summer days.
        The negative is the unbearable heat, which we all complain about, but which so far has been kept at bay. 🙂

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        1. Wow! I love your answers Norah. How incredible that we are experiencing the same month at opposite ends of the world / equator. Our cold (in Canada) is your hot (in Australia). One more reason to love blogging — it opens our eyes to radically different perspectives/ occurrences. Same month. Different season. 🍂 🌷

          Liked by 1 person

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    1. Most excellent! You will love it. To help you get started, see the following example I gave to a fellow blogger — my response copied below:

      ======

      The 3:1 practice opens our minds to the “opportunity in each challenge”. For example, most people complain about the shorter, drearier days, and longer, colder nights in November. Always asking: Where did the sunshine and daylight go?

      I complain too…

      Until I reflect on “the 3 positive aspects for each of the 1 negative” of November nights.

      November brings:
      1. Fireside conversations,
      2. Cozy blankets, and
      3. A more relaxed social calendar.
      In summary: November nights are filled with warmth, relaxation, and downtime. 🔥

      ========

      Your turn…… How would you use 3:1 ratio in your life?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  18. This is awesome, Andrea!!!!! Acceptance is one of the solid foundations of my forgiveness practice. I often start off just saying “I accept and love myself as I am.” This opens up space inside of me to simply be ok with what is – so freeing! (and a relief) 🙂 Thank you for an awesome post. Hope you are having a beautiful week. Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Now you have me thinking! In the most wonderful of ways. Acceptance seems like such a ethereal concept, unattainable and obtuse. When in fact it can be as simple as a deep breath or white flag surrender or 3:1 positivity ratio. Ultimately “acceptance of what is” becomes our portal from anger to forgiveness to peace. 🌿🌷

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      Reply

  26. Awesome post! I’m a bit late to this but I find this so relatable today. 😀

    I’m normally a focus-on-the-positive person, but there are some days where I do something I find dumb and half-beating myself up on it, and today was one such day (and at work, too!).

    This post is a wonderful reminder for me to accept and continue to focus on the positive. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I so get it Nicolle! No matter how positive we are in nature — life does get us down sometimes. I am grateful that you read this particular post on one of those hard on yourself days. That said, please allow me to share a 3:1 ratio with you.

      This is what I see when I read your blog..

      1. Caring soul.
      2. Attentive and tuned in.
      3. Open-minded.

      May you see these 3:1 strengths as I see them in you. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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