Stop Complaining. Start Changing.


“Go 24 hours without complaining and watch your life start changing.”

The next time you’re tempted to complain about the same thing over and over again, direct that same frustrated energy into your highest, loftiest goals. Consciously swap one complaint for one baby step towards your dreamsSame energy required. Magically different results. 


To view the full version of my TEDx Talk — click here. 🎥

What habit do you want to break free of? What changes are you willing to make?

30 thoughts on “Stop Complaining. Start Changing.

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    1. Great suggestion Marty! And you’re right. The more specific the task, the greater the chance for success. Accountability is everything when it comes to changing behaviour. What habit are you working on improving today?

  1. Me, oh. Anytime anything comes up for me I let the storyline go, then I bring inner peace to my being. I breathe in inner peace, expand my lungs then hold it in. Then I exhale and feel the calm my nerve endings enjoy

    This inner peace is what I never experienced in childhood.

    Now neuroscience has discovered this care circuit builds quicker than other systems. It brings a soothing, I am worthy feeling to my being.

  2. Thank you, I value your opinion and your insight.

    Many ways to heal from mental disorders

    We need to be better at inspiring people. I find the hardest thing is to get people to act, even a small act like not complaining.

    Responsibility is scary, we will suffer familiar situation rather than risk anything new.

    1. Change rarely comes from a speech or a book. Rather from observing someone you respect “be the change”. Something you do beautifully Marty. Keep doing what you do. Keep being who you are. The world is watching. 🌏

  3. This is what I’ve been working on – consciously catching the negative thoughts before they take over – putting them in perspective of the whole, and letting them go.

  4. I love your approach. I try so hard not to complain!

    I’ve developed an attitude of gratitude. If I’m feeling frustrated or anxious, I either pray to God, or I write down all my feelings in a brain dump. Writing is like therapy for me, so I love it!

    1. Great strategies Laura. Creative and proactive. Letting go is a key topic in my TEDx talk. In order to invite the new into our lives, we must be willing to release the old (habits and behaviours). Trust is paramount. And so is finding joys (like writing and praying) to bridge the gap. 🙏💙

  5. Love it! I should probably complain a little less too, and perhaps stop trying to plan things so much because more often than not it all goes out the window and the planning, overthinking and overstressing was all for nothing. Great post, it’s certainly made me think (and cringe) at how much I complain and ruminate, too. x

    1. Don’t cringe. Bless yourself for noticing. And the next time you find yourself complaining — give yourself a hug. Whatever you are doing, pause and smile. Break the amygdala’s instinct to go for the jugular (built in negativity bias) and do the complete opposite. Dance. Laugh. Wink. Giggle. Shout “take that AMYGDALA!” I’m safe. End the conversation / self-talk with a wink and a smile. 😘
      p.s. I write from experience. It works!

  6. So good. I love this and I’ve tried it. It takes a conscious effort and awareness to quell our negative voice but we can do it.

    1. Amen Miriam! Hard work. But so worth the extra effort. Especially for the people who have to listen to us complain repeatedly about the same thing. Makes time & room for more meaningful and encouraging conversations. Win Win.

  7. What a wonderful inspiring talk. Your students are lucky people. I was reading about stress in today’s academic settings recently and had no idea that students were dealing with such big fears. They need to learn that what seems like the end of the world right now often, with the passage of time, looks quite different.

    I was taking a graduate course in literature that involved using various literary “theories” that went counter to my whole relationship with literature. At last I told the professor I could not do the course work in the manner he prescribed. I believed then (and now) that it would be intellectually dishonest for me to represent ideas in that way. While we did strive to reach some common ground, at the last it didn’t work and I failed his class. While the event was disappointing, one image that helped me put the loss into perspective was thinking about the money. At the time the course cost $600 — guess that dates me! I pictured taking $600 and dropping it bill by bill into the toilet and flushing.

    It was a funny image. The money was gone. It wasn’t coming back. I was pretty sure that my life was not over just because I flunked a grad school class. Meanwhile the actual things I learned, well it’s not like they disappeared. What you learn for the sake of learning sticks with you. The knowledge in our heads ought to matter rather a lot to us.

    Today as an artist I solve problems by taking a big project and chunking it down to more manageable parts. Solve all the parts and the big things eventually fall into place. Solve the parts and you are teaching yourself how to solve the bigger stuff.

    And the learning itself is wonderful. One should be in life for what you learn. Failure is a great teacher. In art I love to fail! When I fail I know I’ve really found a seriously good challenge, a great good motif to wrestle with. These days I seek failures because they show me the perimeters of what I know. I want to push out toward the new territories.

  8. Brilliant Ted X talk Andrea. I’ve included a link to the Youtube video and your blog post in a post due to publish tomorrow. I hope that’s ok? I’ve realised that those times of extreme pressure are usually the times when I grow the most – it’s not easy to go through stressful situations at the time until we recognise that these are our greatest learning opportunities. Thankyou!

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