Here I am.

The aftermath.

No matter how many times I give a speech or participate in a big event, I am often left with the same feeling for a day or so.

Sadness. A kind of longing. A sense of emptiness.

For weeks, sometimes months, I practice, prepare, and edit my work. Immersed, focused, lost in the creative flow.

At night. On weekends. During all my free time. Hoping to do my best. Not wanting to let down.

Researching. Anticipating. Building  up to the main event.

Afterward, what was once was filled with busyness is an open space. A hollowness that cannot be filled by looking back or planning ahead.

An ache. A void. For no good logical reason.

A place inside that can only be filled in present time.

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So I go for a bike ride knowing how Mother Nature always soothes my heart and replenishes my soul.

There is no more looking back or ahead when I am outside.

At that moment I hear three words deep in my heart.

Here I am.

Here I am.

For solace cannot be found in travelling through time.

It can only be found in where you are right now.

Here I am.

in the blooming trees

in the birds soaring

in the sun setting

in the water flowing

in this moment wherever you are.

Here I am. 💚

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41 thoughts on “Here I am.

  1. A countermelody to “Here I am”.
    I cherish time out in the real world and feel it wraps around me like the wind. It’s part of the breath and fabric of my life, my pulse. For me, I am worshiping at her feet.
    With humility she bids me to rise, and she speaks, she comforts me always, whispering
    “I’m right here.”

    Seek peace,

    Paz

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Its lovely to read a vulnerable post from you. I understand that kind of aftermath depression.

    The source of us is always empty really and things come and go. I think the best thing is to engage with this and yes in nature I also feel that emptiness disappear. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aaah, the trust/entrusting of knowing that you’ve opened yourself as a vessel of service, releasing the outcome; yet, knowing purpose has filled its rightful place/space.

    Presence…present view

    — “Here I am”. Beautiful 🤗

    Like

    1. Thank you for sharing! Jumping right into a new project definitely revives. This is my preset mode for sure. Now, my revive & restore is more about holding “the space between”. If only for a few days. Trusting that the best, next thing is on its way.

      Like

    1. Thank you! Wonderful knowing you felt my peace. I wrote the post a few weeks back in real time. I just wasn’t quite ready to share publicly, until I read it to my Mom on the phone today and it brought her to tears. Just like you and me, we share a love for nature’s healing gifts. 💚

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It definitely has the rhythm of Dr. Seuss! However, as you can see from the photo “unknown” is often the attribution. When upon researching, it’s from a Scottish American naturalist named John Muir also known as “John of the Mountains” and “Father of the National Parks”. He definitely knew what he was talking about. He lived and breathed the forest until his death in 1914. 💚🌳

      Liked by 1 person

      1. AKA: The Founder of the Sierra Club, close friend of President Roosevelt. Together they forged the nation’s (and the world’s) first national park. (I believe it was Yosemite.)

        Paz

        Liked by 1 person

          1. 😂😂😂
            I am there every single time! And then I tell myself “oh well let’s just do a little bit of it “… and once I start I would never want to stop… 😜😄😄

            Liked by 1 person

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