WHY ARE WE SO HARD ON OURSELVES?
One that I’m asked often. And one that I often ask myself.
PSYCHOLOGY INSIGHTSWhat causes this behaviour?
The answer is multifaceted and includes several factors including how we were parented (when internalized superego and conscience first develops) and eventually how we parent ourselves.
When something goes wrong, how do you respond?
1. Self Criticism versus Self Compassion
2. Self Control versus Self Love and Understanding
How do I make the shift from self criticism to self compassion?
1. Pay attention to where your self judgements originated.
Is this your personal measure of worthiness or society’s expectation of success?
2. Investigate how truly arbitrary the standards you set for yourself are.
For example, who said you had to weigh 125 lbs, have a million dollars in the bank, and be married by 30?
3. Don’t Believe Everything You Think!
- Watch this short video for additional insights into the developmental origins of toxic self criticism, unrealistic standards, and the SUPERego.