Freedom is realizing you have a choice

Freedom doesn’t come from holding on.

Freedom comes from letting go.

Again and again and again.

Too often we are hard on ourselves for having to release the same thought, emotion, person, or situation over and over again. 

When in fact this is how life goes.

Letting go and surrendering are an ongoing process. And as necessary for our mental health as eating is for our physical health.

We must eat three times a day. And sometimes we have to surrender (thirty) three times a day.

And that’s ok. That’s how life flows..


Reflection Question

If you only had ONE YEAR to live:

What would you STOP doing?


Video of Blog Post: Click Here

85 thoughts on “Freedom is realizing you have a choice

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  1. I’m practicing. I’m practicing. In the midst of moving house, the tendency is to micromanage everything, but I know from past experience that seldom does anything but create a lot of stress, so I’m catching myself and letting go. Amazing lesson: things still unfold as they should. Love this post.

  2. Yes .. we all have choices…

    unfortunately some don’t muster the courage to use them.

    I am at a stage of life where my mind is free…aim is to just live happily ..and I am doing that.

  3. I love this message Dr. D. Ironically, I had a birth chart and medium reading last month and in both messages, I was told that I need to surrender . This message is timely ❤

    1. Can you hear me laughing out loud? I love that so much Dr. G! Prof Twins .. once again! Not only for the message you received. But also for your openness to “the other side”. Surrendering together. ❤️❤️

  4. You said it Andrea, it’s a conscious choice we make to claim our birthright of being free!

    AND yes as many times a day letting go of everything that no longer serves!

    We are emptying this sacred vessel to be able to carry more light into our next adventure…

    It’s a very exciting time we’re living in ❤️

    Think you for your wonderful post.
    much love to you 😍

    1. “it’s a conscious choice we make to claim our birthright of being free!”

      I love it when my ideas come full circle.

      Thank you for the love & affirmation.

      Wishing you the same and more.

      All day long Barbara ❤️❤️

    1. Thank you for watching the video & reflecting on the message. Your time is so appreciated!

      Discernment is one of the most powerful tools we have.

      Creating space between the “asks” and the “answers” in our lives helps me decipher the difference between what (who) matters & what (who) doesn’t.

      Ultimately saving time and energy for what matters most: OUR HEALTH.

      Because everything good (and sustainable) flows from a place of fulfillment not emptiness.

      If you’re curious…

      Thriving via Energy Awareness & Management is explored in more depth in a recent interview on “What She Said” Radio Show (105.9 The Region in Toronto, Canada):

  5. Healing from a seriousness mental disorder whether anxiety, depression, PTSD etc.
    After awareness, we accept, and then surrender to our trauma, our fear, our storyline.

    To give up all resistance, I open my arms as wide as possible to my sides, exposing my heart.

    In this posture resistance is impossible, surrender is the only thing that works.

    Be curious about what makes you avoid, deny and fear!

    This is the path less traveled.

    I love the passion which you share your wisdom.

    You can see your words are practiced by you in real life.

    I would feel lucky to have you as a professor in college

    1. “I open my arms as wide as possible… exposing my heart.”

      This ^ is an mesmerizing image and daily practice Marty.

      So much so, that my own heart opened while reading this.

      Thank you for paying your own life experience forward and adding layers of lessons to my own posts.

      Grateful for your time, energy, and generous feedback.

      Wishing you a day filled with freedom, faith, and unexpected goodness.

      Andrea 🍀💚

  6. I came upon this while
    Meditating in the dark in my garage, agoraphobic for six months.

    Ptsd has grown to something unknown, I thought something was going to come thru the roof tiles and do something worse than death

    Seems ridiculous in a normal

    Meditating I always
    Flinched, tightened up a little, like you do when someone is about to hit you

    So I opened
    My arms and visualized my heart as a butterfly net

    Softly catching what I was resisting, my deepest hurt
    My deepest fear

    Yes it is highly ironic

    Surrender is our most powerful
    Position in life

    Freedom is possible in surrender mode

    Not an easy place to exist

    That is surrendering all
    Day long

  7. Why is my natural tendency to clench those hands and hold on for dear life? The darkness is a huge temptation–and there’s such a sense of entitlement when I do that. Thanks for this, my friend. You’re touching on some really needed wisdom.

    1. So true Dayle!

      Unfortunately, it’s how our brain is designed. Which is why psychology coaches like me are in such high demand.

      Us humans have a built in ‘negativity bias’ designed to protect us against predators – which served us well in the cave ages.. but not so much now. Now our predators are simply imaginary, for the most part.

      You can read about it here:

      And thank you for the kind words my friend.
      May you wake up to all the choices in your life, big and small, all 2020 long.

  8. I question or perhaps I could call it requestion my thoughts of keeping or letting go. For in each instance there might be a new reason to hold on to something that isn’t pleasant instead of letting it go. Working through something in a different light or perhaps being a different person and having more ability to hold on to something to learn from it.

    The question is always something sounding like: “Is it true… ” or “Is it truer now to… ” For at the moment I’m doing something that last year I would think improbable and it’s a good thing for others, a learning curve in a different way for me and making the world a better place (hopefully). In each moment there’s a whole new set of input to consider, to adapt to, to set the steering wheel upon the journey of a lifetime.

    1. Excellent points! Choice is a moment to moment process. What seemed feasible yesterday (pre-covid especially) doesn’t necessarily make sense now. ADAPT OF DIE may sound harsh. Yet it’s never been more true.

  9. What a powerful message Andrea. Yes! We always have a choice so why do so many of us keep struggling and suffering? I think that finally we’re realising what’s important. At least I know I am. Thank you for a wonderful reminder my friend. Take care and here’s to choosing love and faith over fear, always. xx 💙🙏

    1. Love knowing it arrived right on time Brad! Of all the values, freedom is the one I hold highest. Wishing you a week filled with faith filled choices, fresh air, and plenty of time outside.

  10. I’ve heard of so many techniques to aide us in letting go, physical actions that symbolize our release like throwing stones in a lake, tossing balled up pieces of paper into a bin and then burning the paper, writing our burdens/bad habits/etc. on a piece of paper and “nailing” them to a cross (a symbol of giving our burdens to the Lord).

    I know there are plenty more because, hey, letting go is hard and we need all the help we can get. We sure do like to keep things to ourselves, don’t we? Well, my dad says “Give it to God, hands down and fingers extended. There’s no way you can pick it back up like that!” He’s right! But I still pick it back up. Then I have to let it go all over again! It’s definitely a process and it’s definitely necessary.

    Oh, to answer your question. If I had only a year to live, I’d stop worrying about what others think of me. That’s only one thing but I think I’d better tackle one thing at a time. 🙂

    1. The autobiographical nature to your answer is so fascinating AND so relatable. The imagery of your Dad with his hands down and fingers extended is EVERYTHING.

      Thank you for sharing KJ. Your life lessons and journey help every person reading this post. Including me! It is a process. A sign that we are still alive.

      And ultimately a test of faith and trust of what we let go of … makes room for something better.


      1. Yes, yes. If we could only keep in mind the “something better”!! 🙂 Thank you for your comments. Your words mean so much. And I truly appreciate your insights that you share in your posts – so relatable, practical and always beneficial!! I enjoy reading and always find something that I can implement in my life.

        1. 200 YouTube Videos So Far! Especially helpful with all of my online psychology classes due to COVID-19. What started out as an experiment has turned into a necessity. I know you can relate Kate. Hence the calm.

  11. With this, more than anything else you’ve shared, I agree. It is like breathing in, you have to also keep breathing out again and again and again… The negative thought that comes to mind, has to be released and released and released again… unless it stops coming to mind, then there’s more time to see the beautiful things life also has to offer.

      1. I believe my biggest choice has been to stay true to myself and my needs during this time, still free to see the blessings that these isolations have given us and not allowing the negativity and fear to creep into my mind that would’ve impeded the gift we have been given to help heal our earth for that period of time..the smallest changes of freedom was to appreciate and understand the needs of other and there needs to live how they felt they needed.

  12. How free are we to really think? When the mind (brain) is rewired, at an early stage, given the kind of attachment to our environment. Is it not fear that is instilled early on, a kind of subduing the idea of absolute freedom? We are left with little choices that we seem to have, but quite alien to our nature.

    I hope your message reaches more people and they begin to consciously think of identifying the individual choices, closer to us, while we become mindful and think more of our well-being. Best wishes!

  13. Awesome, so needed especially in the times we live for those to let go and having that freedom to choose. With the Lord’s help we can do this

  14. Dr. Dinardo. Great stuff. I like to tell my clients and colleagues that, originally, the Eightfold path was Ninefold but somewhere in translation they dropped ‘right choice.’ I believe we always intuitively know what the right choice is; we just don’t always ‘choose’ to make it. Cheers.

  15. Really great wisdom. Something I let go of recently was the hatred I had for people who wronged me in the past.

    I realised how much time I spent thinking about people who just aren’t worth it.

    This allowed me to feel happier and get on with my life.

    1. I am one hundred percent with you on this one James.

      Anger. Hatred. Disdain. All can feel powerful in comparison to the grief and sadness and disappointment we feel (and believe) when we’ve been wronged.

      But as you write (and I also reflect on the same in my own life). The pandemic underscores the need to travel lightly in every sense of the world.

      Saving our energy for what matters most ~ our health and the ones we love.

      The topic of energy and health is something I also talk about here:

      As always, I appreciate your reflections and sharing Peter.

      You help me reconsider my own.

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