Keynotes – Workshops – Training
The 5 WHYS is a simple and effective technique for getting under the fear one why at a time.
The goal is to discover the root source of what causes stress or anxiety in a particular time, place, or situation.
With the ultimate intention of enhancing inner peace, self-compassion, and understanding.
Try the 5 WHYS technique along with me (click here to participate) and let me know what you discover! Dr. D 💖
If you’re anything like me (and Santa Claus), you answered yes.
Including the benefits of leaning into difficult emotions.
Because the more we try to fight discomfort, the longer it lasts.
“The root of all suffering is attachment.” Buddha
Stop fighting. Start flowing.
Let your stress drift gently through you.
Without judgment or condemnation.
Breathe and release.
Moment by moment.
Let go of what is outside your control.
Let go of expectations.
The pressure becomes lighter.
The joy becomes brighter.
Create your own traditions.
Fall in love with the night sky.
Savour a walk in the moonlight.
We can handle just about anything.
Consciously accept the good that already exists in your life.
Your health. Your freedom. Your vision. Your voice.
Quite the opposite.
Acceptance opens your eyes to all the favour that exists in your life.
Your hope. Your creativity. Your community. This moment.
And it’s that good feeling that motivates you to strive for more of what’s right for you. Instead of fighting against what’s wrong for you.
Moment by precious moment.
As a positive psychologist, I often write about the bright side of life. Including harnessing strengths, enhancing motivation, and flourishing in the wake of adversity.
While strengths are vital to realizing one’s full potential – it’s not the whole picture when it comes to living a balanced life.
We must also create a safe place to welcome the parts of ourselves (and our life) that weigh us down and cause us despair.
In doing so, we soften the grip of its pain. Whether it be suffering from years gone by or a hardship in current time.
Give your disappointments, your conflicts, your lost dreams room to breathe.
You are not inadequate because you have depression. You are not unworthy because you’re divorced. You are not unloveable because you have anxiety. You are not undesirable because you’re unemployed. You are not undeserving because you’re broke.
Life ebbs and flows, comes and goes. Like the waves on the ocean shore. You are forever. Your potential grows. It’s ok not to be ok. What comes – also goes.
Consciously accept the good that already exists in your life.
Your health. Your freedom. Your vision. Your voice.
Quite the opposite.
Acceptance opens your eyes to all the favour that exists in your life.
Your hope. Your creativity. Your community. This moment.
And it’s that good feeling that motivates you to strive for more of what’s right for you. Instead of fighting against what’s wrong for you.
Moment by precious moment.
Recently, a fellow blogger asked an excellent question regarding tipping points and stress response.
They were curious to know if each of us has a tipping point when it comes to stress management.
And if so, how does it differ from person to person.
I love questions like this because they encourage me to dig deep, reflect, and imagine new ways of perceiving stress.
Tipping points and thresholds are often used synonymously in the literature. Especially when discussing economic, historical, and ecological phenomenon.
That said, there is a clear distinction between thresholds and tipping points in psychological applications.
Thresholds are more individual (unique to each person), while tipping points are more universal (shared by the majority).
Which is why I see each person’s stress response as more of a stress threshold than a tipping point.
See diagram above to help understand how thresholds affect your individual stress response. This graphic also depicts why a certain level of stress (below threshold) can be good for you.
In addition to overall stress response patterns, thresholds differ from one situation to the next.
Situational fluctuations in thresholds reflect our strengths, challenges, and personal preferences.
We may be good at some things, but we are not great at everything.
Finally, I believe that our ability to cope and thrive under pressure is a lifelong practice. Something that is never mastered – only strengthened.
And the more we learn about life and ourselves, the higher our thresholds will become. As the majority of our stress is beating ourselves up – long after the stressor is gone.
Related Post: Thriving Under Pressure
Have you ever noticed that the more challenging life gets ⇒ the more critical you are of yourself.
And the more critical you are of yourself ⇒ the more challenging life becomes.
It’s a fearful, exhausting, repetitive loop that feeds on itself.
When you’re under extreme pressure, the last thing you need is another self-talk rant of why you’re not good enough.
What you do need is a boatload of unconditional love.
Today vow to give yourself the gift of more love, more kindness, more generosity.
A gift that will keep on giving. Long after the stress is gone.
Find an affirmation or a positive quote that makes you stop, take a breath, and feel your heart beating deep inside.
Something that reminds you of how magical you truly are.
Post it on your fridge. Write it on your mirror. Save it on your phone.
The next time you start beating yourself up over the smallest thing, take it as a sign that you need some extra love and tender care.
The more love you give yourself, the more generous, authentic, and compassionate all of your relationships will be.
Including the relationship you have with your innermost self.
