How you perceive stress.
Changes everything.
Challenge or opportunity?
Ending or new beginning?
Stumbling block or stepping stone?
Coal or diamonds?
If you can’t change the stress.
Change the way you think about it.
Week 2 at College: Short Video
Psychology Insights: Self Criticism to Self Compassion
WHY ARE WE SO HARD ON OURSELVES?
Great question!
One that I’m asked often. And one that I often ask myself.
PSYCHOLOGY INSIGHTS
What causes this behaviour?
The answer is multifaceted and includes several factors including how we were parented (when internalized superego and conscience first develops) and eventually how we parent ourselves.
For example:
When something goes wrong, how do you respond?
1. Self Criticism versus Self Compassion
2. Self Control versus Self Love and Understanding
PSYCHOLOGY SOLUTIONS
How do I make the shift from self criticism to self compassion?
1. Pay attention to where your self judgements originated.
Is this your personal measure of worthiness or society’s expectation of success?
2. Investigate how truly arbitrary the standards you set for yourself are.
For example, who said you had to weigh 125 lbs, have a million dollars in the bank, and be married by 30?
3. Don’t Believe Everything You Think!
Watch this short video for additional insights into the developmental origins of toxic self criticism, unrealistic standards, and the SUPERego.
“Be kinder to yourself. And let your kindness flood the world.”
VISIT PSYCHOLOGY YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://m.youtube.com/c/DrAndreaDinardo
My philosophy of teaching.
I have one intention in mind when I walk into a classroom:
How can I warm up the room? 🔥
“Enthusiasm is contagious.”
In this short video I share the thoughts that go through my mind as I walk into a classroom and meet my psychology students for the first time. I also discuss the specifics of how I connect with and encourage students each new day.
What goes through your mind when you walk into a room?
Visit my YouTube Channel for more fun and uplifting videos.
FOMO ANXIETY Simple Tips for Feeling Better
This post is for anyone experiencing FOMO. Particularly on a long weekend holiday!
Psychology Insight:
Holidays heighten social anxiety of every kind.
FOMO especially.
Consider these questions as you explore what’s going on below the surface.
1. Do you remember the first time you experienced FOMO?
2. How did you cope with the anxiety of missing out?
3. What if anything would you be willing to give up in your life in exchange for the fantasy of someone else’s life or experience?
4. What about your life do you cherish above all else?
Please share in the comments below, including your own strategies for handling FOMO. I’d love to know!
Savour this moment.
Free Yourself 🦋
EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE
1. What would you stop doing if you only had one year to live?
2. What would you start doing if you only had one year to live?
3. What do you need to let go of to feel a sense of happiness, well-being, and peace?
4. What and who do you no longer want to be obligated to?
5. What joy do you wish you had more time for?
CONTEMPLATION TIME
Take a long deep breath and meditate on your answers. You’ll be surprised at what your soul has to say.
YOU GET ONE LIFE.
Make it yours.
Dear Readers:
This video is equally a note to you + me reminding us to live with discernment and wisdom. For not everyone in our life appreciates the limits of our time and energy. And that’s ok. For we are the magic wand. We have the power to make choices. We have the ability to overcome social conditioning. We have the authority to change what and who we want in our lives. What and who we give our energy to unnecessarily, repeatedly, unconsciously.
WE HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE.
This ^ is freedom.
EMPOWERING THOUGHTS
Choose the THOUGHTS that emPOWER you today.
It takes
one word
one thought
one mantra
to shift our mind
from pain to power.
What will your empowering thought be this week?
I’d love to know.
Share your WORD in comments below ⤵️
Related Post: Empowering Conversations
Thanks for visiting my psychology blog!
Dr. D 💖☀️
Optimism Bootcamp for Health & Happiness.
Hope Lights The Way
Nathalie Begin author of the Gutsy Feeling Blog invited me to give a positive psychology workshop called Optimism Bootcamp at a Symposium for Crohn’s & Colitis Canada.
The audience was filled a very special group of people. Individuals that have been battling the chronic condition of Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) their whole lives.
Click Here to join the workshop
What’s IBD?
Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) describes a group of conditions, the two main forms of which are Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis. IBD also includes indeterminate colitis.
Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis are diseases that inflame the lining of the GI (gastrointestinal) tract and disrupt your body’s ability to digest food, absorb nutrition, and eliminate waste in a healthy manner.
Health Warriors
Individuals with chronic health problems such as IBD often feel a sense of helplessness and disempowerment over their bodies.
Which is why teaching concrete strategies for focusing on what’s within one’s control (beliefs and attitudes; deep breathing; present moment awareness) and letting go of what’s not (waiting times; IBD diagnosis; doctor availability) is so important.
Believing you can is half the battle.
Optimism Research
Research in health psychology shows that optimism and having hope in one’s future has a significant impact on whether patients follow through on medical advice.
Optimism has also been found to improve the overall quality of life, well-being, and happiness of cancer patients.
Click Here for Research on Health, Hope, and Optimism
“Hope changes everything. It transforms pessimism into optimism. It changes winter into summer, darkness into dawn, descent into ascent, barrenness into creativity, agony into joy.” Daisaku Ikeda
Optimism Can Be Learned
The good news is that optimism is a skill that can be learned!
- Optimism / pessimism are not fixed personality traits that someone is lucky (or unlucky) enough to be born with.
- Optimism / pessimism are states (not traits) that are malleable and open to change.
- Optimism / pessimism are attributional styles that can be taught and reinforced over time.
Additional insight on how our minds work
Excerpt from Optimism Article:
Using Attribution Theory, I can tell a lot about someone by the way they interpret the events that happen in their lives, particularly the explanatory style they use in analyzing setbacks versus successes.
The pessimist perceives failures as personal, permanent, and pervasive, and thus has difficulty moving beyond setbacks. They often get lost in a recurrent loop of negativity.
In contrast, optimists see setbacks as universal. to everyone, temporary in time, and limited to one or two areas of their lives.
Click Here to Watch Optimism Video Workshop
Hope you enjoy the workshop and have fun doing the interactive exercises!
Dr. D 💖☀️
Words of Encouragement.
The first thing that goes when we are faced with a stressor of any kind is the memory of all we have overcome in years gone by.
Let this be your daily, weekly, hourly reminder of how wildly capable you are.
Truly. Incredibly. Capable.
We might not be a genius at everything. But we are most definitely a genius at something.
And if you ever need more than this note to remind you of your strengths, let me know in the comments below.
And I will shine a light on the luminescence that surrounds you.
Fun Activity
What words resonate with you?
What jumps off the page?
These are your strengths.✨
Body Image: Don’t Believe Everything You Think 💭
Perception versus Reality
I was motivated to write this post and film the accompanying video after witnessing so many students overwrought by feelings of inadequacy regarding their body image and self worth.
There was no doubt that in reality they were healthy and whole, but in their minds, they believed the opposite.
The Antidote
The following is a set of questions that challenge irrational perceptions and cognitive distortions using reality itself.
The inquiry is not limited to body image and weight and thus can be applied in any areas where you find yourself caught in a repetitive thought loop.
Reality Testing Homework:
- How do I know if this thought is accurate?
- What evidence do I have to support this thought or belief?
- How can I test my assumptions/beliefs to find out if they’re accurate?
- Do I have a trusted friend whom I can check out these thoughts with?
- Is this thought helpful?
- Are there other ways that I can think about this or myself?
- Is it really in my control?
- Am I overgeneralizing?
- Am I making assumptions?
- What would I say to a friend in this situation?
- Can I look for “shades of gray”?
- Am I assuming the worst?
- Am I holding myself to an unreasonable standard?
- Are there exceptions to these absolutes (always, never)?
- Am I making this personal when it isn’t?
Source: Challenging Cognitive Distortions
Related Research & Articles
1. Past visual experiences weigh in on body size estimation. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-18418-3#Sec2
2. The image in the mirror and the number on the scale: Weight, Weight Perceptions, and Adolescent Depressive Symptoms. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3610322/
3. Perception versus reality of body weight: Which matters most. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032713002905
4. How social media contributes to body dysmorphia. https://www.thelexingtonline.com/blog/2018/5/7/how-social-media-contributes-to-body-dysmorphic-behaviors
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
What are your perceptual filters?
Rose coloured? Perfectionist? Overachiever?
How often do you TEST reality?
Do you believe everything you think?
Click Here to Watch Video
Psychology on YouTube: Helping people live a better life.
Psychology for Everyone
My number one intention for becoming a psychologist and psychology professor has always been to help people live a better life, no matter their life circumstances.
And since there are only so many hours in a day, I’m always looking for new ways to reach and teach as many people as I can. All at once, if possible.
Which is why I created a Psychology Tips Playlist on my YouTube Channel that I contribute to weekly.
101 psychology videos for you to enjoy! ⤵️
Psychology Tips: Video Playlist
Fun Learning Opportunity
The purpose of my Psychology YouTube Channel is to share the key lessons of my 3 hour psychology lectures in 3 to 5 minutes.
- Giving people far and wide access to virtual classes, especially those who don’t have the money or means to an undergraduate education.
I know how busy everyone is. And I love a good challenge!
I also include videos of psychology workshops and keynote speeches.
- Be sure to visit my psychology playlist weekly for new videos!
- Better yet: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
