What is meant for you — is coming for you
E X P A N S I O N
happens in the space in between
Trust & Believe
You got this!
Video: Fostering A Growth Mindset 🍃
FEELERS VS. THINKERS Saying No is not a one size fits all
Do you have a difficult time saying no?
While others in your life say no without a second thought.
Is this confusing and at times upsetting for you?
Are you hard on yourself because of this discrepancy between yourself and others?
You may be interested to discover that Saying No is not a one size fits all.
Join me in my virtual psychology classroom as I share one factor that explains why some people have more difficulty saying no and holding boundaries than others — Your Personality.
Feelers vs. Thinkers
Feelers
In the video below I describe how individuals who are overly sensitive to the feelings of others (HSPs, Empaths, ENFJs) often focus on the needs of others to the exclusion of themselves.
❤️ Feelers are often overly attached to decisions.
Often causing feelers to say YES on the outside when on the inside their intuition is telling them to SAY NO.
Result = Mixed Messages + Unnecessary Stress
Thinkers
By contrast, individuals who are left brain dominant (thinkers on the Myers Briggs scale) are more straightforward and logical in their response to requests from friends and coworkers.
Consequently, thinkers do not focus to the same extent on the emotions of “the requesters” in the same way that feelers (eg., ENFJ’s) on the on the Myers Briggs do.
💡 Saying no comes naturally to thinkers.
Thinkers know what they want and use analytics + logic not the emotions of the person in front of them as their guiding force.
Learning from each other
On the plus side:
Feelers and thinkers make incredible teammates.
At work and in life.
Balance is everything. 🧠 + ❤️
Additional Information
1. Right Brain versus Left Brain
2. Are you a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?
3. Learn About Myers Briggs Personality Profile
4. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
Let me know in comments below how your personality impacts different areas of your life, including saying No.
Please share techniques you’ve developed for setting boundaries too!
I’d love to know!
Dr. D 📚
One Final Note:
In Addition to Personality and Individual Differences
Situation Also Impacts Our Ability to Say NO + Stand Firm
- For Example: The Safer We Feel: The Easier it is to Say No
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.“
With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become
F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning
• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.
“Failure is the opportunity to begin again.”
Source: https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback
Your Turn:
What life lessons has failure taught you?
5 Ways to Focus Better | The Drive Magazine
Why Can’t I Remember Anything?
One of the most frequent questions I was asked as a practicing psychologist and more recently as a psychology professor is why can’t I remember anything.
The problem is most likely a focusing issue — not a memory issue.
An important distinction between memory and attention that I share my Fall Focus Article in The Drive Magazine. And again, in more detail, in the focus video below.
In the video in particular, I describe how the Atkinson–Shiffrin memory model (see model below) differentiates between sensory, short-term, and long-term memory.
And the important implications this model has for one’s ability to focus and remember information long term.
You can’t do big things if you’re distracted by small things.
Link to Fall Focus Article
5 Ways to Focus Better
Issue 124. The Drive Magazine.
Click Here: thedrivemagazine.com/posts/5-ways-to-focus-better
Click Here: YouTube Understanding Memory
Thanks for your attention!
Dr. D 📚
Uplifting Mantras for Uncertain Times.
Life lived backwards makes perfect sense.
You finally understand WHY the job, the partner, the degree, the house, the friendship, the ______ didn’t work out.
BUT what about in the “here and now”?
How do we make the leap of faith during the darkest of days?
MANTRAS mantras mantras.
Find a phrase that moves you …
t h r o u g h ..
UP AND OVER…
into a place of trust and belief.
Respect
The
Process
Breathe and RECEIVE
Your journey is unfolding in the most magical and mysterious of ways.
Spread Your Wings 🦋
“What if I fall … oh my darling … what if you F L Y..”
Related: Optimism Bootcamp Workshop
How does a psychologist make a clinical diagnosis?
Psychology in Your Life
The intention for this post is to introduce you to one aspect of the diagnostic process — specifically: differential diagnosis.
And ultimately to help you understand that psychological assessment is a complex, worthwhile process.
What’s normal 🆚 clinical?
To answer that question, I would like to invite you into my clinical psychology class.
Specifically, when I teach the concept of “Differential Diagnosis” using the STATE versus TRAIT anxiety distinction.
STATE 🆚 TRAIT ANXIETY
Misdiagnosis
People often believe they have generalized anxiety or panic disorder, when in fact, what they are experiencing is an acute reaction to a short-lived, stressful circumstance.
Differential Diagnosis
For example, STATE anxiety involves temporary and situational symptoms to stress inducing events (public speaking, midterms, first dates) universal to all of us.
In contrast, TRAIT anxiety has more lasting, debilitating, and pervasive symptoms (eg., impacts all aspects of an individual’s life) independent of external events.
Psychology on Campus
For additional insights into the diagnostic process, including how I teach this concept in the liberal arts program, check out my latest video:
Reflection Questions
1. How is understanding the state 🆚 trait distinction applicable and/or helpful in your daily life?
2. Have you ever jumped to the conclusion about yourself or someone else regarding a diagnosis, only to discover later that the condition was temporary?
3. What psychology topics and ideas would you like to learn more about?
Dr. D 📕❤️
When you change the way you think about things, the things you think about change.
How you perceive stress.
Changes everything.
Challenge or opportunity?
Ending or new beginning?
Stumbling block or stepping stone?
Coal or diamonds?
If you can’t change the stress.
Change the way you think about it.
Week 2 at College: Short Video
Psychology Insights: Self Criticism to Self Compassion
WHY ARE WE SO HARD ON OURSELVES?
Great question!
One that I’m asked often. And one that I often ask myself.
PSYCHOLOGY INSIGHTS
What causes this behaviour?
The answer is multifaceted and includes several factors including how we were parented (when internalized superego and conscience first develops) and eventually how we parent ourselves.
For example:
When something goes wrong, how do you respond?
1. Self Criticism versus Self Compassion
2. Self Control versus Self Love and Understanding
PSYCHOLOGY SOLUTIONS
How do I make the shift from self criticism to self compassion?
1. Pay attention to where your self judgements originated.
Is this your personal measure of worthiness or society’s expectation of success?
2. Investigate how truly arbitrary the standards you set for yourself are.
For example, who said you had to weigh 125 lbs, have a million dollars in the bank, and be married by 30?
3. Don’t Believe Everything You Think!
Watch this short video for additional insights into the developmental origins of toxic self criticism, unrealistic standards, and the SUPERego.
“Be kinder to yourself. And let your kindness flood the world.”
VISIT PSYCHOLOGY YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://m.youtube.com/c/DrAndreaDinardo
My philosophy of teaching.
I have one intention in mind when I walk into a classroom:
How can I warm up the room? 🔥
“Enthusiasm is contagious.”
In this short video I share the thoughts that go through my mind as I walk into a classroom and meet my psychology students for the first time. I also discuss the specifics of how I connect with and encourage students each new day.
What goes through your mind when you walk into a room?
Visit my YouTube Channel for more fun and uplifting videos.
FOMO ANXIETY Simple Tips for Feeling Better
This post is for anyone experiencing FOMO. Particularly on a long weekend holiday!
Psychology Insight:
Holidays heighten social anxiety of every kind.
FOMO especially.
Consider these questions as you explore what’s going on below the surface.
1. Do you remember the first time you experienced FOMO?
2. How did you cope with the anxiety of missing out?
3. What if anything would you be willing to give up in your life in exchange for the fantasy of someone else’s life or experience?
4. What about your life do you cherish above all else?
Please share in the comments below, including your own strategies for handling FOMO. I’d love to know!
Savour this moment.
