What’s Your Endurance Mantra?

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Mantra, Motivation, Self Esteem and Empowerment, Strengths, Stress Hardiness, Success, Thriving Under Pressure, Video28 Comments

Transforming our mindset from pain to power and stress to strength is key during uncertain times.

And particularly important for students across Ontario as they complete final college and university exams this semester!

What mantra or affirmation shifts your mindset from stress to strength? From pain to power? I would love to know.

Watch the video below to hear mine during a particularly difficult spinning class at a local gym.

An endurance mantra I use during workouts, in the classroom, and in life!

Simple Words on Repeat

In the video, I share two simple words that kept me going when I hit a wall weeks ago.

And also the words I use to encourage students when they feel like giving up.

These words change daily.

Today mine was “mustard seed”.

Because I often feel like giving up. Like everyone else does.

And then I remember my why.

My “mustard seed” gives me faith to not give up on what’s yet to come.

Do you have a mantra that has kept you going during the pandemic or any other uncertain times in your life?

What endurance phrase is on repeat for you?

Related Post: The Space Between No Longer and Not Yet

Put a Time Limit on Negativity

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Psychology, The Drive Magazine, Time and Energy Management14 Comments

Original Source The Drive Magazine

Time and Energy Management

When I was a kid, my mom set the egg timer for almost everything we did.

Whether it was how long we spent doing our homework, weeding the garden, watching television, or complaining about life’s challenges.

1. Passing versus Permanent Difficulties

Setting a time limit helped us understand that nothing lasts forever, good or bad.

This was especially important when we felt helpless over things we did not have control over, including chores we did not want to do.

2. Energy and Emotional Awareness

The egg timer principle can also be applied to how often we feel negative versus positive throughout the day.

Venting our negative emotions feels good in the moment, but when it goes on too long, the costs outweigh the benefits.

Too often we complain about stressors for hours beyond the momentary challenge.

Leaving little time in the day for appreciation, wonder, and gratitude.

Then one day we wake up and realize that life is too short to be all negative, all the time. 

Interview with Candace Sampson on energy management

3. Respecting Other People’s Boundaries

Setting time limits taught us to respect how our words and actions impact others.

We learned the importance of asking permission before sharing our problems and difficulties.

Boundaries go both ways, and few people have the capacity to listen seven days of the week.

Interview with Arms Bumanlag on relationship boundaries

4. Timer Motivation Technique

To this day I set a timer on the microwave or my cellphone.

A simple, yet effective way to motivate myself through tedious tasks and become more mindful of time itself.

Final Thoughts

Negativity is to be expected. It’s part of the human experience. The question is: how long will you stay there?

Share your challenges. Share your obstacles. Share your difficulties. But also leave room for what’s good in your life.

Joy needs room to breathe. And so do you.

Psychology Articles in The Drive Magazine

Laughter is the Best Medicine — It Relieves Stress

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Flow, Happiness, Health, Hope, Inspiration, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Positive Psychology, Positivity, Stress Management

What consumes your mind consumes your life

We live in a world weighed down by tragedy and adversity.

And we have been conditioned to believe that tragedies require tragic mindsets and hardships demand hardened spirits.

We also live in a world overflowing with abundance and joy.

But we cannot see the good from the bad when we are blinded by what weighs us down. Often resulting in one-sided fixed perceptions of reality.

Solution

Shift your focus

Change your life

How?

A shift in focus can happen in a number of ways.

Laughter. Gratitude. Awe. A long deep breath.

Laughter Yoga: Watch Here

Why Laughter?

1. Laughter breaks the panic spell.

The not enough mindset. The woe is me attitude. The negativity downturn.

2. Laughter melts the stress away.

3. Laughter connects people in present time.

Friends and strangers! Think of the last time you laughed out loud with a cashier in the grocery line. For me, it was last night.

4. Laughter is good for our health.

It benefits our mind and our body.

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Today’s Homework

have fun

Be kind to your mind

Remember who you were before life weighed you down.

Dance a little dance. Be a goofball with friends.

Respond to hard times with a light heart and an open mind.

Nourish your soul.

Leave room for grace.

Laughter is an instant vacation to a better place!

Video of Post: Watch Here

Free Your Soul

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn courage, Emotional Freedom, Reflection Question, Self Actualization, Thriving, Time and Energy Management18 Comments

Soul Reflections

⚜️ What do you need to LET GO of to feel a sense well-being? 

⚜️ Who and what do you no longer want to be OBLIGATED to?

⚜️ If you had only one year to live, what five things would you STOP doing?

⚜️ What JOY do you wish you had more TIME for?

Breathe In & Listen

⚜️ Take a LONG DEEP BREATH and meditate on your answers.

⚜️ You will be surprised at what your SOUL has to say.

You Get One Life

⚜️ Make it yours.

Tomorrow Is Promised to No One

Free Your Soul

You hold the key.
Video of Post: Click Here

Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Mantra, Motivation, Psychology Class, purpose, Self Reflection, Student Engagement, Student Motivation, Student Success, Teaching, Thriving, Video

Back on Campus

In this psychology video I share one way I engage students at the start of a semester, including this past week when we were back on campus for the first time, in a very long time!

Transcript of Psychology Video 
Read Here

Show Them You Care

Connecting with students from a higher place is especially important during a pandemic, as it reminds them of their vision and mission post-graduation.

“Why” Vision Exercise, Leadership Conference 2016
Hold the vision. Trust the process.

What’s Your Dream?

Asking students about their dreams is a fun, high-energy exercise that engages the entire class.

Takeaway

The next time you feel stuck in a rut, either in conversation or in thought, ask — ”What Dream Pulls You Forward”?

Our mind is a powerful tool. It has the ability to block our potential or to allow us to soar to possibilities beyond our wildest dreams.

Bruce Lipton
Photo from Summer School 2018
Video of Blog Post
Watch Here

Teacher Enthusiasm Video 
Watch Here

Face Everything and Rise

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Affirmation, Coping Strategies, Emotional Freedom, Empowerment, Health, Health Psychology, Hope, Mindfulness, Nature, Peace, Psychology, Self Actualization, Strengths, Stress Hardiness, Thriving, Time and Energy Management, Video, Zen30 Comments

Fight or Flight Threat Response

Every time we feel threatened (threat is the fundamental definition of stress) our first instinct is to “fight or flight“.

This perpetual “fight or flight” response loop eventually creates a host of secondary problems, above and beyond, the original stressor.

Powerpoint Slide from Broaden and Build Leadership Event, January 2022

It does not matter how we attempt to “control” a stressful situation – physically, verbally, or by running away from it.

Eventually, a repetitive “fight or flight” response cycle takes a significant toll on our bodies.

Is There a Better Way?

Be Gentle With Yourself

Tune into Your Body. Your Breath. This Moment in Time.

Consciously

Choose Courage over Fear

  • FEAR -> Forget Everything And Run
  • FEAR -> Face Everything And Rise

Strengths First

The acronym Face Everything And Rise reminds us that the many strengths within us will always be greater than the perceived threats and stress outside us.

The key is to first discover and then embrace each and every one of our divine gifts. Within us. And all around us.

Your strengths light my way.

Stand Your Sacred Ground

The mantra Stand Your Sacred Ground inspires us to stand still, take a deep breath, and trust that being yourself is enough.

No Fight. No Flight. No Fear.

Simply holding your ground is enough.

Garden of The Gods Colorado, March 2017

Courage is grace under pressure.

Ernest Hemingway

Lighten Up in 2022 — Positive Emotions & Problem Solving

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Happiness, Health, Hope, Inspiration, Motivation, Positive Psychology, Strengths, Video15 Comments

“Your heart is the light of this world. Don’t cover it with your mind.”

Lighten Up in 2022

The solution to a problem is rarely found in the source of the problem. 

This is why it’s important to lighten up before tackling difficulty.

Problem Solving from a Higher Place

Positive emotions heighten our awareness and open our minds to creative, innovative solutions.

An approach I share during optimism bootcamp, a community psychology event based on a magazine article of the same name.

Optimism Bootcamp Workshop

Broaden and Build Psychology

This broaden and build approach to problem-solving is based on the research of Dr. Barbara Fredrickson. Discussed in detail in her book Positivity.

According to Dr. Fredrickson, thriving happens with a ”positivity ratio” of 3 positive emotions for every 1 negative emotion.

List of Positive Emotions Click Here

A compelling concept in positive psychology applied to work performance and advancement in a recent article by Dr. Barry Robinson in Forbes magazine.

Applying the 3-to-1 Positivity Ratio

In the video below, I share simple ways to create positive emotions (joy, awe, serenity) during pandemic adversity and opportunity.

Lighten up in 2022 with

Long Term Benefits of Positivity

“The benefits of positive emotions do not stop when the initial good feelings subside. In fact, the biggest benefits are an enhanced ability to solve problems and develop resources for life.” Dr. Barbara Fredrickson

Twelve Days of Self-Care — The Drive Magazine

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Happiness, Health, Hope, Inspiration, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Optimism, Peace, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self-Care, Stress Management, The Drive Magazine, Video47 Comments 
Original Source
The Drive Magazine

Twelve Days of Self Care

You, as much as anyone else, are worthy of your love and attention.

I am a strong believer in keeping things simple.

The less complicated things are, the more likely we are to repeat the behaviour.

Especially when it comes to health and happiness habits.

Try for yourself, starting with Day 1 of self-care:

Day 1: Mindful Mornings

Add five to ten minutes of relaxation to each of your morning routines. Time expands when you savour your smoothie mindfully.

Day 2: Soothing Stretches

Wherever you are right now – stand up. Put your arms to the ceiling and take a long breath. Bring your arms to your toes and hold them there. Repeat five times throughout the day. Show your limbs some love today.

Day 3: Lingering Lunches

When was the last time you took a break during lunch? No phone. No computer. Just you and your turkey sandwich. Today is that day. Cherish your lunch. Enjoy every bite. Give yourself the gift of a lunch break.

Day 4: Movement is Medicine

My favourite way to improve the day is through movement. Whether it be a stroll around the block, hugging a tree in the park, or a one-hour cardio session at the club. Do what works for you, independent of everyone else. Commit to moving one extra step today.

Day 5: Fresh Air

Immerse yourself in fresh air today. Especially when you hit a roadblock in creativity. Go outside. Look up at the sky. Watch the clouds float by.

Day 6: Silence

When was the last time you sat in silence? Today is that day. Set an alarm on your phone for three hours from now. Start with seven minutes of absolute silence. Write down what you find out about yourself.

Day 7: Reading Time

Devote one hour to reading today. Including this magazine!

Day 8: Blissful Boundaries

When you are available to everybody all the time, you are unavailable to yourself. Start by setting a boundary between you and technology. Turn off your phone and computer for 12 hours straight.

Day 9: Soothing Scents

Out of all five senses, smell has the strongest link to emotion and memory. Which is why a scent like peppermint can transport you instantly to another time and dimension.

Day 10: Ground Yourself

Cover the floor with all your favourite blankets. Take a long deep breath and take in the view of your house from a different perspective.

Day 11: Matinee Movie

Take yourself to a matinee movie today! Spoil yourself with popcorn and ice-cold pop.

Day 12: Mirror Affirmations

Write a love letter to yourself and post it on your bathroom mirror. Read it out loud, every chance you get.

Merry Christmas Everyone! May peace be with you. All 2022 long.♥️

Peace Video Watch Here

Honour Your Limits

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Awareness, Health, Mindfulness, Psychology, Self-Care, Time and Energy Management

Today’s Reminder That You Are Human

Honour Your Limits.

In every area of your life.

It’s not a race.

It’s a lifetime.

Pace Yourself

The world needs what you have to give — long-term.

In every area of your life.

It’s not a race.

It’s a lifetime.

Helpful Resource:
Energy Awareness and Management

Anchor Yourself With Light

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn community, courage, Hope, Inspiration, Optimism, Peace, Psychology, Video24 Comments

Take a moment and anchor yourself with something that lights you up.

That reminds you that you are not alone in this storm.

You have been here before.

It may have been a personal pandemic, not a global one.

But somehow, deep inside, you made it through.

And you will again.

You have the courage, the mindset, the heart, the soul.

You Are Not Alone in This Storm

Together We Will Make It Through

Video of Blog Post Click Here

Broaden-and-Build: Click Here

Staying Motivated During Challenging Times — The Drive Magazine

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn community, Hope, Motivation, Optimism, Positivity, Reflection Question, Resilience, The Drive Magazine31 Comments

Today’s story begins in the middle of a spin class. The point in time where you feel like giving up the most.

Because the middle is always the hardest. Whether it be the middle of a semester, the middle of a week, or the middle of a pandemic.

It was thirty minutes into class, and we had finished a tough uphill climb. I wanted to celebrate how far we had come, so I began clapping and cheering.

Despite my excitement, my instructor gave me a curious look and said: “Why are you clapping Andrea? We are far from being done.”

She was right. We still had a significant amount of time left in our workout. But I wasn’t clapping because we were finished. I was clapping because we had hit the wall and survived. I was clapping to energize.

Cheering in the Middle

A cheering strategy that I often use in my own classroom. Students are geared up at the start of the semester and pumped up at the end. It’s in the middle that their commitment starts to falter.

This is when I clap wholeheartedly simply because students show up to class. Both in person and online. A fun gesture underscoring how much I value their commitment to education. And they love it!

Small Gestures Energize

This year I am reminded how small gestures energize big time. Be it a high five. A wide smile. A kind word. Or calling a student by name.

Because beginnings have their own ticker parades. And endings take care of themselves.

It’s in the middle of a challenge where we need positive energy the most.

Applying these principles in your life

  1. Celebrate small wins throughout the day. Keep track with post it notes.
  2. Create a playlist of songs that remind you of pivotal wins and achievements.
  3. Take frequent dance breaks in unexpected places.
  4. Clap and cheer when family members arrive home from work.
  5. Don’t be afraid to stand out. You may be the pick me up a stranger needs to keep going and not give up.
Original Source 
The Drive Magazine

Your Turn

  • How do you stay motivated during challenging times?
  • What keeps you going when you hit “the wall”?

Endurance multiplies when shared

Helpful Resource
We Need Stress to Grow

Empowering Conversations About Change

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Change and Transformation, Coping Strategies, Emotional Awareness, Health Psychology, Mental Health Education, Mindfulness, Motivation, Positive Psychology, Psychology Class, Reflection Question, Resilience, Stress Hardiness, Video17 Comments

The Psychology of Change

During this week’s health psychology lecture, we talked about the psychology of change, including the parts of our lives that remain ‘unchanged’ during rapid and unexpected change.

What Remains During Change?

  1. The Sun Still Rises
  2. Coffee Tastes Delicious
  3. Trees Greet You on Your Walk
  4. Favourite Movie Still Delights
  5. Bed is Comfie at the End of the Day
  6. Street You Live on Hasn’t Changed
  7. Love for Family and Friends Endures
CHANGE > ANCHOR > ADAPT > TRANSFORM

Your Turn

Consistency

Make a list of what remains consistent in times of rapid change and use it as a grounding technique at the start and end of each day.

Grounding

In doing so, you anchor and ground yourself in a sense of knowing and trust in your built-in strengths and happiness.

Motivation

“Flying starts from the ground up. The more grounded you are, the higher you fly.”

Psychology Videos on Change

Resilience Articles & Speeches

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Mental Health Education, Motivation, Personal Growth, Positive Psychology, Public Speaking, Resilience, Resources, Self Esteem and Empowerment, Strengths, Stress Hardiness, Success, The Drive Magazine, Thriving, Video

“The human capacity for burden is like bamboo. Far more flexible than you’d ever believe at first glance.”

Psychology Articles on Resilience

After a two year hiatus, I am excited to share that I have returned to writing the PSYCH DRIVE column for The Drive Magazine.

Topics include mental health, motivation, wellness, stress, resilience, and positive psychology.

You can read my latest PSYCH DRIVE article below.

3 Ways to Bounce Forward

The Drive Magazine, Issue 137, Fall 2021

READ SEPT 2021 PSYCH DRIVE ARTICLE
Click Here

READ ALL PSYCH DRIVE ARTICLES TO DATE
Click Here

Psychology Talks on Resilience

In addition to writing for The Drive Magazine, I also offer virtual and in person keynotes and workshops on stress, resilience, and mental health.

A sampling of these psychology talks are shown below.

Resilience is the ability to use personal strengths and support systems to cope with pressure and difficulty.

Psychological life skills that can be learned and improved upon daily.

THRIVING UNDER PRESSURE TEDx Talk
Click Here

What’s my purpose?

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Awareness, Happiness, Health, Hope, Inspiration, Intrinsic Motivation, Mindfulness, Motivation, Peace, purpose, Self Actualization, Self Reflection, Video28 Comments

What’s your perspective on purpose?


Is it something you do or something you are?


Is it ignited at birth?


Or at work?


Does it expire at death?


Or when you retire?

The way I see it.


Purpose is for a lifetime.


It’s what lights you up, and sets your soul on fire!

Video of Post: Click Here

5 Mindfulness Techniques

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Mindfulness, Nature, Peace, Relaxation, Resilience, Self-Care, Time and Energy Management

Our point of power is always in the present moment.

1. Be Here Now

Stop

Take a breath

Observe

Proceed

2. Create Space

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our freedom.” Viktor Frankl

3. Find Your Flow

In psychology, flow, also known as being in the zone, is the mental state where a person is fully immersed in the moment. Flow often occurs during sports and creative activities such as writing, painting, and teaching. In this state, people often report enhanced well-being, focus, and joy.

4. Commune with Nature

“Nature has the capacity of making us become one with the universe. Look at a tree, a flower, a plant. How still they are, how deeply rooted in just being. When you look at a tree and perceive its stillness, you become still yourself.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Practice Loving Kindness

“Be kind to yourself. And let your kindness flood the world.” Pema Chödrön

Enjoy Daily

Let Your North Star Guide You

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Hope, Mindfulness, Nature, Peace, Relaxation, Video50 Comments

The sky connects us to something bigger than ourselves.

Challenges appear small in comparison to the vastness of the sky.

Solutions seem plausible. Answers come more easily.

In the presence of stars, we embrace the profound and surrender it all.

Look, up at the sky. There is a light, a beauty up there, that no shadow can touch.

J. R. R. Tolkien

Related Post: Always Looking Up

What helps you adapt to change?

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Change and Transformation, Coping Strategies, Leadership, Personal Growth, Positive Psychology, Reflection Question50 Comments

What helps you adapt to rapid, unpredictable, unexpected change?

I asked this question of student leaders at a province wide conference pre 2020. See their answers on the chalkboard below —

My Answer

GO SMALLER

One day at a time.

One hour at a time.

One class at a time.

Microseconds sometimes..

Your Turn

How do you keep moving forward?

What helps you adapt to change?

Interview: 5 Ways to Embrace Change

Psychology of Body Image: Don’t Believe Everything You Think

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Health Psychology, Interview, Mental Health Education, Psychology Class, Resources, Stress Management, Video

Perception versus Reality

I was motivated to write this post and film an accompanying video after witnessing so many students overwrought by thoughts of inadequacy about how they looked.

In reality, there was no doubt that they were healthy and whole, but in their minds, they believed the opposite.

A phenomenon heightened by imaginary audience and social anxiety, which reaches its peak in adolescence.

Imaginary Audience Video: Click Here 
Body Image Video: Click Here

Psychology Research

What are the underlying mechanisms?

These articles provide insight into why body dissatisfaction continues to be an issue, despite countless campaigns to turn the tide.

Article 1

The Image in the Mirror and the Number on the Scale

Link https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3610322

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Article 2

The Effects of Social Media on Body Image and Mental Health

Link http://lifesciencesjournal.org/2020/02/the-effects-of-social-media-on-body-image-and-mental-health

Article 3

Body Weight and Self-Perception are Associated with Depression

Link Results from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES)

Psychology Homework

The First Step Towards Change is Awareness

1. Reality Testing

The 15 questions below challenge cognitive distortions and perceptions using reality itself.

This inquiry is not limited to body image and weight and thus can be applied to areas of life where you find yourself overthinking and ruminating.

Reality Testing Homework

Source: Challenging Cognitive Distortions

  1. What evidence do I have to support this thought or belief?
  2. Am I assuming the worst?
  3. Am I overgeneralizing?
  4. What would I say to a friend in this situation?
  5. How can I test my assumptions/beliefs to find out if they’re accurate?
  6. Do I have a trusted friend whom I can check out these thoughts with?
  7. Is this thought helpful?
  8. Am I making assumptions?
  9. How can I test the accuracy of this thought?
  10. Are there exceptions to these absolutes (always, never)?
  11. Is it really in my control?
  12. Can I look for “shades of gray”?
  13. Am I making this personal when it isn’t?
  14. Am I holding myself to an unreasonable standard?
  15. Are there other ways that I can think about this or myself?
Related: The Stories We Tell Ourselves

2. Community Discussion

In addition to spending time in self reflection and reality testing, it is important to open up the conversation to the community at large.

In doing so we move into collective problem-solving, empowering solutions, and public health education.

Podcast Interview

Be Yourself: Happy. Healthy. Hopeful.

Turning Self-Criticism into Self-Compassion 

“In this episode, Stephani and Dr. Dinardo speak about what positive psychology is, turning your perceived flaws into strengths by moving from self-criticism to self-compassion, posttraumatic growth and how adversity can be beneficial to us, boundaries around social media use, the magic of prevention work and maintaining hope”. Bulimia Anorexia Nervosa Association (BANA)

Listen to Interview: Click Here
Watch Video of Post: Click Here

What has COVID-19 awakened in you?

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn community, Gratitude, Mental Health Education, Reflection Question, Resilience, Strengths Assessment, Stress Hardiness, Thriving, Video52 Comments

How is everyone doing?

How are you coping?

How has your perception of yourself and the world evolved?

How has COVID-19 transformed you?

What do you believe is the higher purpose in all of this?

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I Am Waking Up

After socially distancing and working full-time from home as a psychology professor (now online), I had never felt more appreciative of the simple joys in life.

Community Resilience, Thriving, and Gratitude

A perspective on gratitude and growth I share in the following videos:

Your Turn

What has COVID-19 awakened in you?

Compare Your Answer to One Year Ago

Psychology Talks on Resilience and Growth

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Coping Strategies, Health Psychology, Mental Health Education, Motivation, Personal Growth, Positive Psychology, Resilience, Resources, Strengths, Stress Hardiness, The Drive Magazine, Thriving, Video
Dr. Andrea Dinardo is a psychology professor and TEDx Speaker, who specializes in positive psychology.

Her work focuses on energy and time management, thriving under pressure, and cultivating psychological resilience.

A framework for mental health and motivation used throughout her workshops, presentations, and keynote talks.

Additional Speeches:
Click Here

Resilience Articles: 
https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/optimism-bootcamp

https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/three-ways-to-bounce-forward

https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback

Additional Articles:
Click Here

Love is a Language – What’s Yours?

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Awareness, Happiness, Health, Hope, Inspiration, Motivation, Personal Growth, Psychology Class, Reflection Question, Social Psychology, Teaching

How do you express your love?

Take Quiz

  1. The 5 Love Languages Quiz for Singles: Click Here
  2. The 5 Love Languages Quiz for Couples: Click Here
  3. Paper Version of Quiz — Tap on Photo Below

Love and Social Psychology

One of the reasons I love teaching psychology is that it gives me the opportunity to share why we do what we do. Including in romance!

The more we understand ourselves, the more compassionate we will be about ourselves and others.

Self Awareness and Social Awareness go hand in hand.

So given today is Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be a good time to resurrect a 2019 social psychology lecture on the 5 love languages.

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In this particular psychology class, we talked about: 1) what we value in a relationship, 2) our preferred love language, and 3) possible reasons for romantic successes and failures.

Discussed more fully in the two videos below.

The Theories of Love (Part 1)

In the first video I discuss the psychological theories and related life experiences that lay the foundation for a social psychology class on love and attraction (Chapter 14 in my psychology textbook).

The Reality of Love (Part 2)

In the second video I reflect upon the lessons learned in psychology class and how to apply these love lessons in real life.

Topics covered on video and in class:

  1. While dating, be on the lookout for concrete factual evidence of what is important to you. Both in person and online.
  2. For example, how does “love for family” show up in your potential partner’s actions.
  3. Also, if your relationship values include loyalty, spending time outdoors, and making mental health a priority. Is this something the person you are dating also values and lives by?
  4. It is also important to look beyond the surface and pay attention to nonverbal cues, communication, and behaviour.
  5. Do their words match their behaviour? For example, your date claims to be a great listener while spending the entire night checking their phone.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

Maya Angelou
FiveLoveLanguages-Web

Self-Reflection Questions

1. What do you value most?

  • trustworthiness
  • kindness
  • compassion
  • intelligence
  • sense of humour
  • physical attractiveness
  • attentiveness

2. How do you communicate love?

  • Listening
  • Encouraging
  • Helping
  • Love Notes
  • Surprise Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Affection
Love Quiz → Click Here
Love Video 1 → Click Here
Love Video 2 → Click Here

Meaningful Online Connections

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Intelligence, Psychology Class, purpose, Social Psychology, Video42 Comments

5 Ways to Create Meaningful Connections in a Virtual World

This list was initially created for students embarking on a new career during covid-19.  

It also includes EQ techniques helpful for everyone.
  1. Connect with intention.
    • Before engaging with someone online, take a step back and ask why you are doing so.
    • What is the purpose of the interaction?
    • What are you hoping to gain or give?
  2. Make it all about them.
    • Listening is an essential ingredient in effective communication, online interactions included.
    • Listening also provides a much needed break from monotonous internal dialogue.
    • In a virtual world, “listening” often takes place through reading and staying open to another person’s perspective. No matter how different.
    • From “Me to We”
  3. Do the people research.
    • The first thing I do before I engage with someone online is read their page – literally!
    • I read their “About Me” biography. Plus their comments and interactions on social media, blog posts, and articles. And if available, I listen to their interviews and watch accompanying videos.
    • I love learning about the people I interact with. Especially their strengths.
  4. Do the company research.
    • This is where I get curious about what makes a company tick!
    • The people, the history, the economics, the geography, the philosophy.
    • The company’s motto and theme song (check out their facebook page).
    • Pick up the phone and talk to the receptionist and administrative assistants — the pulse of the organization. And if possible, engage with front line workers and management.
    • This is also the time to assess if the company’s core values match up with your own.
    • Is it a good fit?
  5. Create a need for your services.
    • What makes YOU .. YOU?!
    • What makes you unique, different, quirky, goofy, all kinds of wonderful?
    • This is the part of the online interaction process where your personality wraps around your talents, education, and abilities.
    • For example: when I was a kid, my Dad always said: “Andrea, you better get a job where you get paid to talk” because.. I couldn’t stop talking! (you should have seen my grade 8 report card)
    • This is why I come alive in the classroom but would fade away in a research lab.
    • What parts of your personality make your skill set stand out?

Your Turn: How Do You Create Meaningful Connections in a Virtual World?

Watch 3 min Video of Post: Click Here

What advice would you give your younger self?

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Hope, Leadership, Optimism, Peace, Reflection Question, Training and Development37 Comments

Live Zoom Conference

At a recent leadership conference, student leaders from St. Clair College’s Student Representative Council SRC had the opportunity to ask questions live during the final portion of the virtual training event.

Ask Dr. D

The student leaders raised the reflection bar high during this discussion period.

One Question Stood Out The Most

Specifically:

What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?

In the video below, I share my answer.

“It All Works Out“

Even during COVID-19.

For the pandemic has not changed my optimistic perspective on life and learning.

If anything, COVID-19 has underscored my belief in posttraumatic growth and resilience.

For everybody.

Growth is the only evidence of life.

John Henry Newman
Video of Post: Click Here

2020 Life Lessons: Be Strong Enough To Be Gentle

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Awareness, Emotional Intelligence, Mindfulness, Peace, Personal Growth, Psychology, Reflection Question65 Comments

Lockdowns have us spending a lot of extra time with the ones we love.

Especially during the holidays.

And if you’re anything like our household, it requires a whole new level of relationship skills.

A deeper level of empathy and compassion for the pressures of the people we are living with.

Helpful Tips: Psychology Today

What worked before, doesn’t necessarily work now.

And if it does, it takes more patience, more compassion, more love.

For ourselves and others.

Emotionally Intelligent COVID Conversations

How does this show up in our home?

Emotional Intelligence: Resources

One approach that has helped tremendously is how I ask to have my needs met.

Not what I say but how I say it.

Same message.

Different Approach.

A new level of gentleness.

Power versus Force

Kindness versus Conviction

The beauty of this 2020 life lesson is that when I am strong enough to be gentle: I am heard.

What life lessons has 2020 taught you?

Watch 2 min Video of Post: Click Here

Catch Pause Repair (CPR): Sustainable Resilience Model

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Coping Strategies, Health Psychology, Mental Health, Mental Health Education, Mindfulness, Positive Psychology, Resilience, Stress Management, Training and Development27 Comments

Healthy Workplace Awards

I recently did a virtual keynote at the Healthy Workplace Awards Ceremony. 

Watch Video: Click Here

Given all we are collectively going through, I thought the notes and video from the virtual keynote presentation would be helpful to everyone.

News Release: CTV News

Especially as we wrap up 2020. A year where we collectively experienced one of the most monumental global events in history.

A time of rapid change, adaptation, and transformation.

SUSTAINABLE RESILIENCE

During the 14 minute virtual keynote, I shared a Framework for Sustainable Resilience and Mental Health called Catch Pause Repair (CPR):

CPR includes 3 steps:

1. Catch

Catch yourself before a stress response escalates by becoming more aware of what triggers you. 

What Are Your Stress Triggers? 
Self Test Here

2. Pause

Pause and take a 60 second time out when you feel the physical sensations of stress begin to escalate. 

One Minute Meditation
Relax Here

3. Repair

Repair the root source of the heightened stress response which is often physiological in nature. Possible unmet needs include: sleep, food, fresh air, exercise.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs 
Overview Here

CPR in Your Life

  1. How do you catch triggers before they escalate?
  2. How often do you pause throughout the day?
  3. Which of Maslow’s five needs require repair?
Watch CPR Presentation: Click Here

Shine your light

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn community, Hope, Love, Mindfulness, Peace50 Comments

bethelight

I used to think of life purpose as some great big grand scheme for life, something we spend our whole life chasing after. Daunting for sure. At times overwhelming.

Then one day I realized that life purpose was a series of small, fleeting events, rather than one great big span of life. Bite size in fact.

It’s the one thing we love doing, time and time again. Over and over. Day by day. It’s the one thing we love sharing. Moment to moment. Breath by breath.

RELATED POST:
Anchor Yourself With Light

What makes your heart sing?

For me it’s making the person right in front of me (no matter who they are) feel like the most important person in the world.

Engaging fully, completely, in every conversation I have.

No matter how long. No matter how short.

image
REFLECTION QUESTION:
What makes you come alive?

I love making someone’s day brighter.

  • Whether it be lifting the spirits of my psychology students.
  • Encouraging a barista at Starbucks.
  • Smiling at runners on the trail.
  • Leaving my sister an uplifting voicemail.
  • Opening the door for someone at the grocery store.
  • Listening intently to my husband at the end of a long day.

Mission for this Moment

My hope for today is to make you feel like the centre of my universe. One smile at a time. One conversation at time. If only for a moment. Sometimes for a lifetime.

Because you matter.

More than you’ll ever know.

Simple Soulful Practice

How I Light Up My Day

Sometimes we need a quick, fun, and easy way to elevate our mood. Suggestion: Angel Cards A simple, soulful practice that takes a (bite sized) moment. Now my friends ask me to bring angel cards to all our coffee talks. Even if we’re sitting 8 feet apart! These light-hearted cards guarantee a shift UP in conversation. From the mundane to the magical.

What lights your way today?

New Virtual Experiences During COVID-19

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn community, Coping Strategies, Health Psychology, Mental Health Education, Optimism, Personal Growth, Resilience, Thriving, Training and Development, Video42 Comments

Staying Hopeful

I wanted to share how I have been keeping hope alive in my heart and soul during COVID-19.

Specifically, by expanding my reach with new virtual experiences.

Beginning in the spring with my first “live” recorded internet event with Sam Piercell, a fitness entrepreneur, from Windsor, Ontario.

F45 "Live" Event: 
Community Resilience with Dr. Andrea Dinardo

Resilience Habits & Routines

Community members asked stress, wellness, and psychology questions in real time.

Throughout the resilience seminar, I also shared daily habits and thought patterns keeping me healthy during the pandemic.

Optimism, hope, and humour are key factors in health, happiness, and resilience.

Optimism Bootcamp The Drive Magazine

Sharing Our COVID Experiences

Since then, I have been interviewed virtually by:

  1. Dr. Katherin Garland on Mental Health Matters (watch: video interview).
  2. Candace Sampson on What She Said Radio (watch: video interview).

We discussed situational and pandemic anxiety, health and positive psychology, time and energy management, social media boundaries, resilience, and thriving under pressure.

2020 “Stretch” Goals

  • GOAL: Stay Connected to each other in new and novel ways.
  • HOW: Interactive LIVE “Q & A” conversations in real time.
  • MEDIUM: ZOOM, INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK, YOUTUBE.

Adapting to the New Normal

In the past, online interactions were “an extra” to everyday conversation.

Now “the virtual life” is a necessity for both our personal and professional lives.

An important and crucial way to stay connected to both our dreams and each other.

2020 is the World’s Classroom

PSYCHOLOGY TEACHING ONLINE - BEHIND THE SCENES:
1. What It's Like to Be a Professor During Global Pandemic
2. "Live" Online Psychology Class

Hope and Change

“Adapt or Die” may sound harsh.

But adaptation is truly what’s being asked of us in every area of our lives right now.

change-adapting-quote2

So I figure I might as well jump right in!

Because I would rather ride the wave, than have the wave ride me. 🌊

What’s Next? 

VIRTUAL KEYNOTE: Healthy Workplace Awards

Anxiety Relief Technique

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Awareness, Mental Health Education, Psychology, Self Reflection, Video

FEAR is an illusion

5 Why’s Technique

The 5 Why’s is a simple and effective technique for understanding the source of our fears and cognitive distortions (irrational beliefs) one why at a time.

Exploring the Unconscious Mind

An analytic (below the surface) strategy originating in the psychoanalytic theories of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.

What’s Under the Fear?

Freud’s Iceberg Analogy : Click Here

Brief Instructions

  1. Write down on a sheet of paper something you beat yourself up for over and over again. (Related Post: Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves)
  2. State the anxiety provoking situation out loud.
  3. For example:
    • Why is it so overwhelming for me to spend time with ________ ?
    • Why do I repeatedly agree to do ___________ when I know it makes me uncomfortable?
  4. Ask Yourself Why in response to your question Five Times.
  5. Watch the psychology video below for a “live” example of this technique.

5 Why’s Technique on YouTube:

The goal is to discover the root source of what causes fear in a particular time, place, or situation.

With the ultimate intention of enhancing inner peace and understanding.

By differentiating what’s real from what’s not.

To Learn More

Watch my in-depth interview on situational anxiety with Dr. Katherin Garland – see below

Enjoy Every Moment

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Mindfulness, Nature, Peace, Relaxation, Stress Relief and Release, Video33 Comments

Never let the things you want make you forget the things you already have.

Nothing Lasts Forever.

Good or Bad.

Enjoy Every Moment.

Embrace it.

Be it.

See it.

Everything you appreciate is you reflecting back.

Homework for Today

Look Around You.

Notice Things Like You Are Seeing Them for the Very First Time.
Watch Video Of Post: Click Here

Failure as Feedback

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn courage, Inspiration, Personal Growth, Resilience, Self Reflection, Strengths, Stress Hardiness, Student Motivation, Student Success, The Drive Magazine, Thriving, Video122 Comments

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” 

With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become

F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning

• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.

• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.

• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

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Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?

Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives

• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.

• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.

• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.

• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.

“Failure is the opportunity to begin again.”

blog-articles-drive-failure-as-feedback

Read My Article in The Drive Magazine: https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback

 Your Turn:

What has failure taught you?

Watch Video of Post: Click Here

Does Your Self-Talk Energize You or Drain You?

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Inspiration, Mantra, Peace, Positive Psychology, Thriving, Video

How we talk to ourselves matters.

Especially at the start of a brand new day.

Our thoughts are the lyrics to our daily soundtrack after all.

A topic I talk about with love and laughter in this video workshop:

Psychology Homework:

The One Day at a Time Approach

Step One: Awareness

Begin by WAKING UP to your inner dialogue tomorrow morning.

Notice the first thing you think of when you look in the mirror.

Is it loving? Is it kind?

Step Two: Mirror Affirmations

Write an encouraging quote for yourself on your bathroom mirror.

At a loss for words?

Pick any one of the quotes you’ve shared with the world on social media this past year and post it for yourself on your bathroom mirror.

It only takes one thought, one word, one smile, one song, to change a life.

Begin with your own.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

Watch Video: Click Here

Energy Awareness and Management

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Health Psychology, Interview, Mental Health Education, Optimal Performance, Positive Psychology, Self-Care, Time and Energy Management, Video57 Comments

What we give energy to impacts everything.

Thoughts. Emotions. Actions. People.

Some drain. Others invigorate.

Awareness is the first step to enhancing vitality.

The goal is to identify the source of energy leaks and peaks.

Where to start?

My recent interview on FM 105.9 The Region was designed to help people become more conscious of what depletes their energy and what lifts them up.

A health psychology practice that benefits mood, motivation, and productivity.

Because when we feel energized, we can do twice as much in half the time.

Rather than focusing on time, which is finite, I suggested to radio host Candace Sampson that we turn our attention to energy management, which in turn expands the amount of time we have.

Watch Interview:

What She Said Talk on FM 105.9 The Region

3 Energy Management Tips

Tip #1: Debits and Credits
(Energy Audit)
Daily Tracking System of Who and What Depletes You
Tip #2: Put a Time Limit on Negativity
(Stove Timer)
Conscious awareness of how much time with friends and family is spent on complaining (draining) versus solutions (energizing).
Tip #3: Energy is Everywhere
(Combat Boots Anchoring Exercise)
Energetic grounding rituals before interacting online.
*All 3 tips described in detail in both a) the August 20 energy video above and b) the extended September 1 podcast interview below.

Reflection Questions:

  1. How do you manage your energy throughout the day?
  2. Is energy something you consciously pay attention to?
  3. What is your energy level on a scale of 1-10 right now?
  4. What and who drains you?
  5. What and who energizes you?
Video of Blog Post: Click Here

Freedom is realizing you have a choice

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Freedom, Empowerment, Happiness, Health, Mental Health, Reflection Question, Self Actualization, Stress Relief and Release, Video85 Comments

Freedom doesn’t come from holding on.

Freedom comes from letting go.

Again and again and again.

Too often we are hard on ourselves for having to release the same thought, emotion, person, or situation over and over again. 

When in fact this is how life goes.

Letting go and surrendering are an ongoing process. And as necessary for our mental health as eating is for our physical health.

We must eat three times a day. And sometimes we have to surrender (thirty) three times a day.

And that’s ok. That’s how life flows..

F R E E D O M

Reflection Question

If you only had ONE YEAR to live:

What would you STOP doing?

THE CHOICE IS YOURS

Video of Blog Post: Click Here

Situational Anxiety Interview

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Coping Strategies, Health Psychology, Interview, Mental Health, Mental Health Education, Personal Growth, Positive Psychology, Reflection Question, Video24 Comments

Mental Health Matters Interview

Situational Anxiety

Dr. Katherin Garland

Host of Mental Health Matters

This week, I speak with one of my dearest blogging friends, Dr. D!

We discuss all things anxiety. She explains the difference between anxiety disorder and situational anxiety.

Dr. Dinardo provides 3 strategies to help us cope with situational anxiety, especially because it may be heightened during the pandemic and times of racial unrest.

1. Video Format of Interview

Watch on YouTube.

2. Podcast Format of Interview

Available on SoundCloud and Apple Podcasts.

Reflection Questions

  1. What did you learn about situational versus clinical anxiety from our interview?
  2. Can you relate to the personal example of heightened situational anxiety shared by Dr. Garland? How so?
  3. Have you experienced increased situational anxiety since COVID-19? In what areas of your life?
  4. What techniques help you cope with unexpected stressors and challenges?
  5. Do you see failure as a positive or a negative? Why?
  6. How does fear, trepidation, and worry manifest physically in your body?
  7. What would you tell your younger self about stress and anxiety?
Watch Anxiety Video: Click Here

IS THIS NORMAL? Temporary Emotions vs Mental Illness

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Mental Health Education, Psychology Class, Teaching, Training and Development, Video38 Comments

The most common question people ask when they discover I’m a retired psychologist is – “Is This Normal?“

This question is a significant motivator for creating this psychology blog in the first place.

Because too often people suffer because of lack of understanding versus a diagnosable medical condition.

differential diagnosis  ·  the process of differentiating between two or more conditions which share similar signs or symptoms.

Case Study

Two people present with similar symptoms (e.g., rapid heart beat, excessive worrying, difficulty concentrating) with vastly different causes.

On closer inspection

One person’s symptoms is caused by lack of sleep, excessive caffeine consumption, and a recent breakup.

While the other person’s symptoms is caused by a mental illness, as diagnosed by a registered psychologist, using the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

One improves with time and lifestyle changes, while the other requires more intensive psychological intervention.

Education Empowers Everyone

This is why it’s my life mission to share psychology everywhere, all the time.

In the classroom. During podcasts. On YouTube. Radio. Television. Psychology articles, textbooks and blog posts. On the TEDx stage.  Instagram . In between sets at F45 workouts.. and at the local coffee shop.

Psychology is my favourite subject after all.

Psychology Goals

To make DAILY mental health education accessible, sustainable, and easily APPLICABLE.

To eradicate misconceptions about normal versus abnormal functioning.

To help students develop positive coping techniques in fun, interactive, and uplifting ways.

To reduce stigma about mental illness. 

Therapy versus Talking to Friends: What's the difference?

Especially when it comes to transitory states, emotions, and situations.

Sadness versus clinical depression.

Neatness versus obsessive compulsive disorder.

The topic of this week’s psychology video:

Is This Normal? Temporary Emotions versus Mental Illness

For example, distressing emotions often improve with rest, perspective, and time.

While mental illness requires more ongoing medical support and therapy to see improved functioning.

My hope is that mental health education becomes paramount in both the classroom and the doctor’s office.

An ongoing conversation about what’s healthy versus what’s not.

So that people don’t automatically assume they’re mentally ill simply because they’re having a bad day.

More Resources Coming Soon!

Mental Health Matters

Host Dr. Kathy Garland

SITUATIONAL ANXIETY with Dr. Dinardo

Live Interview

Airing July 31, 2020!

Stay Tuned for Dr. Garland’s Video & Podcast!

Anger is a sign that something needs to change

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Change and Transformation, Emotional Awareness, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Self Reflection, Video36 Comments

Anger Quote DrAndreaDinardo.com

Individuals are often looking for healthier ways to express their emotions.

For Example: Anger

That said, it’s not as simple as becoming “more calm” or “less explosive”.

The first step in transformation and lasting change is looking below the surface.

The Kübler-Ross Model provides insight:

5 Stages of Grief and Change

The goal is to discover if angry thoughts, actions, or emotions are serving a purpose.

Is anger helping or hurting?

How is anger serving you

Why Anger?

Perhaps anger allows someone to speak up, say no, set a boundary, or bond with friends.

And if this is the case, the goal of coaching is to help clients replace confrontations (for example) with more effective communication patterns.

PSYCHOLOGY HOMEWORK

Anger → Awareness

First: Set aside time to journal thoughts and emotions about “hot topics”. This allows for a cooling off period and a chance for self reflection and integration.

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Second: Plan a mutually beneficial time to discuss anger triggers and solutions with friends and family.

This 2-step communication technique results in safe, open, and engaging conversations that move both relationships and actions forward. Win Win!

Reflection Questions

  1. What Purpose Does Anger Serve in Your Life? Gains versus Losses?
  2. Does It Strengthen or Deplete You?
  3. Does Anger Move You Further Away from Your Dreams or Closer to Your Dreams?
  4. What In Your Life Needs To Change?
  5. Do You Need More Effective Ways of Coping with Frustration and/or Loss?

Once you understand the underlying purpose anger serves in your life, you’re ready for the next stage in the change process:

Transition and Transformation

Change Quote DrAndreaDinardo.com.

Psychology Resources

  1. New Conceptualizations of Anger: https://www.apa.org/monitor/mar03/advances
  2. How Anger Affects the Body: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/the-mind-body-connection/202007/what-causes-anger-and-how-it-affects-the-body
  3. Healthy Anger Release Techniques: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-release-anger
  4. Assessing Motivation To Change: https://drandreadinardo.com/2018/08/18/why-change-now

Your Dreams Have A Message For You

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Psychology, Psychology Class, Relaxation, Self Reflection55 Comments

Your Dreams Have A Message For You

Are You Listening ?

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One of the first things I do every morning is analyze my dreams.

What about you?

Do you remember your dreams?

Do you interpret their meaning?

Have you ever dreamt the same dream repeatedly?

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In the video below I share the dream I had last night.

Dream Symbol: Water

A “dream theme” I have at least twice a week.

Dream Discussion Forum

If you’re curious about the psychology of dreams, leave a dream in the comments and I will interpret it for you.

Sweet Dreams! Dr. D 🛌 💭

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Learn More

  1. Online Dream Symbol Dictionary: What Do Your Dreams Mean?
  2. “Active Imagination“:  Jungian Recall Strategy
  3. Brain Processes that Allow You to Remember Dreams: Scientific American
  4. Mind Mapping Your Dreams:  Spatial and Visual Dream Exercise
  5. A to Z of Dream Interpretation: What Dreams Reveal About Our Lives, Loves, and Deepest Fears. (The Dream Book Pictured Above)
Dream Video: Click Here

The Stars and The Scars

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Affirmation, Inspiration, Peace, Zen1 Comment

Leonard Cohen Quote DrAndreaDinardo.com

I see your light.

And your darkness.

And all your shades of grey.

That’s what makes you complete.

All the parts of you.

Integrating.

Changing. Transforming.

Simply being.

Accepting.

This moment. Yourself.

Whatever the day may bring.

Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen

Story behind the blog post

Yesterday someone asked me what my philosophy of psychology was. And the one word that kept coming to me over and over again was: Integration.

All the parts of ourselves. The scars and the stars. Just like coal and diamonds. Same element (carbon). Different manifestation.

Wholeness is the goal. Perfection is overrated.

Carl Jung Integration Wholeness DrAndreaDinardo.com

Helpful Psychology Resources

  1. Blog Post: The Shadow Effect
  2. Video Post: Healing Your Inner Critic
  3. Book: Bringing Your Shadow Out of the Dark
  4. Research: Self-Compassion Research Summarized
  5. Theory: Carl Jung’s Individuation and Wholeness Process

What Trauma Taught Me About Happiness

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn courage, Happiness, Health, Hope, Mental Health Education, Personal Growth, Positive Psychology, Resilience, Video52 Comments
Dr. Andrea Dinardo Trauma

Is it possible to feel joy in the face of adversity?

Strength during the lowest of lows?

Creativity in the midst of destruction?

Peace in difficulty?

Vibrancy during cancer?

Happiness during COVID-19?

In the video below, I share some personal examples from my own upbringing on how my parents found strength and contentment during even the darkest of times.

Your Thoughts:

Can trauma and happiness coexist?

I’d love to hear your ideas, theories, and personal stories.

Video of Post → Click Here

Compassionate Listening

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn community, Emotional Awareness, Empowerment, Hope, Mindfulness, Optimism, Peace, Social Psychology47 Comments

Even as a psychologist, I often don’t know what to say.

Especially now with so many people experiencing pain and trauma in escalating ways.

So rather than assume what someone needs, I have learned over the years to ask one simple question:

How Can I Support You?

Dr. Andrea Dinardo Empathic Listen

In doing so, I create a safe space for healing and acceptance.

Something we all need right now, more than ever before.

Unconditional love and support.

To be witnessed. To be heard.

All good conversation begins with listening.

Only then can we transformed by what we learn. 🌎💞

Video of Post ⇒ Click Here

The Space Between No Longer and Not Yet

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Hope, Personal Growth, Self Reflection45 Comments
Honour the Space

The time in between is a difficult time for all of us.

Myself included.

A super organized (type A) person like me becomes a little unhinged in the space in between.

But don’t we all?

In Between

Wondering if we still have what it takes.

Hoping we can still make a difference in the world when the pandemic ends.

Which is why I wrote this post today.

Highlighting the shared challenge we all face between the old and the new.

Change is a lifelong process.

The only constant is change.

Let yourself feel what you need to feel.

Take a breath. Enjoy some rest.

Give your monkey mind a break.

In Between Quotes

It’s ok to not be ok.

What comes also goes.

Honour the space in between.

Related Post: Divine Timing

Psychology Insights: Self Criticism to Self Compassion

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Empowerment, Happiness, Health, Hope, Inspiration, Mindfulness, Peace, Personal Growth, Psychology, Video65 Comments

Why are we so hard on ourselves DrAndreaDinardo.com

WHY ARE WE SO HARD ON OURSELVES?

Great question!

One that I’m asked often. And one that I often ask myself.

PSYCHOLOGY INSIGHTS

What causes this behaviour?

The answer is multifaceted and includes several factors including how we were parented (when internalized superego and conscience first develops) and eventually how we parent ourselves.

For example:

When something goes wrong, how do you respond?

1. Self Criticism versus Self Compassion

2. Self Control versus Self Love and Understanding 

PSYCHOLOGY SOLUTIONS

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How do I make the shift from self criticism to self compassion?

1. Pay attention to where your self judgements originated.

Is this your personal measure of worthiness or society’s expectation of success?

2. Investigate how truly arbitrary the standards you set for yourself are.

For example, who said you had to weigh 125 lbs, have a million dollars in the bank, and be married by 30?

3. Don’t Believe Everything You Think!

  • Watch this short video for additional insights into the developmental origins of toxic self criticism, unrealistic standards, and the SUPERego.

“Be kinder to yourself. And let your kindness flood the world.”

Stay Open to the Possibilities

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn community, Hope, Intrinsic Motivation, Optimism, Psychology Class, Thriving27 Comments

Embrace Uncertainty

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One of my favourite ways to energize before teaching psychology classes at St. Clair College is to summarize a theory in practical and concrete ways in the parking lot.

Literally! 🚘 

I filmed this video 5 minutes before I was about to teach a lecture on personality and positive psychology in my liberal arts class.

Just a few weeks before all St. Clair College classes went fully online due to COVID-19.

In the video above, I talk about the connection between openness and happiness. Openness to experience is one of the Big 5 Personality traits – see figure below.

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Why Openness?

The more open, adventurous, and flexible we are in our thinking (and being), the more likely we are to perceive ambiguity as a pathway to something new and exciting.

A whole new road, yet to be discovered.

openness

Today’s Psychology Lesson

We never know what’s waiting on the other side of COVID uncertainty.

So let’s stay open to the possibilities. 

Trust and believe in our shared journey. 

Even if we can’t see the outcome. 

Together in faith, anything is possible!

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Video of Post ⇒ Click Here

Celebrating Moms Everywhere

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Gratitude, Happiness, Inspiration, Love, Peace, Relaxation, Self Actualization32 Comments

Let’s not wait until Mother’s Day to celebrate moms everywhere.

Let’s celebrate moms today.

Including my own.

Moms of every age. Moms of every country. Moms of every kind.

  • Cat moms.
  • Dog moms.
  • Aunt moms.
  • Friend moms.
  • Professor moms.
  • Neighbour moms.

The only thing that matters is love.

Love For Mom

Sharing Mom Memories

And since Mother’s Day is all about love, I wanted to share this fun video memory with you.

Our Recap of That Day:

Don’t chase the destination my dear, chase the feeling.

Because the feeling will always bring you home. 💗

Who’s on your love list today?

 Share how you have fun together

Related Post → Who Inspires You?

Rethink Time in COVID-19

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Flow, Intrinsic Motivation, Mindfulness, Self Reflection, Time and Energy Management, Video23 Comments

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I find the perception of time fascinating.

Everyone experiences time differently.

Because time truly is relative.

Changing from situation to situation.

For example:

Time perception also varies from person to person.

For example:

Type A versus Type B

Time Defines Us

Taken one step further, time defines who we are, and ultimately who we become.

How we live our days is how we live our lives.

Moments → Hours → Days → Months → Lifetimes

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Mindful Time Management

Which is why the more conscious and aware we become about how we spend and prioritize our time, the more meaningful and satisfying our lives will become.

Time is Money Video

Concrete Examples of Time Usage

Rethink Time

Identify 5 ways you spend 100 units (dollars) of time each day. (As illustrated in the video)

  • For example: gardening (20 units), reading (20 units), writing (20 units), cooking (20 units), complaining (20 units)

Compare and contrast your “money time sheet” with family and friends.

When does time slow down for you? When does time speed up for you?

  • Do you lose “track” of time easily?
  • Is time something you consciously pay attention to?

Are you more influenced by external measures of time?

  • Or an internal “sense” of time?

internal clock.

Has your use of time changed since COVID?

Has your perception of time changed with age?

  • If so how?

The trouble is, you think you have time.

Jack Kornfield

Watch Video of Blog Post → Click Here

May Hope Rise Within You

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Affirmation, Happiness, Hope, Inspiration, Optimism

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Wishing everyone an extra dose of hope + optimism at the start of this brand new month of May. 

  • Paradoxically, I have never felt so close to friends, family, and strangers since social distancing began.

A Worldwide Awakening 

8 billion people experiencing the same global event, at the same time – together. 

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Reflecting Back

This photo was taken at our first ladies night in our new house in Tecumseh, Ontario.

John and I had just gotten engaged. Just bought a house together.

And as you can tell from my big smile, I was excited to share this special moment with my friends.

Beautiful memories to be relived again.. very soon!

Always believe

 

Acceptance: Your Peace Depends on It

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Gratitude, Happiness, Hope, Inspiration, Mindfulness, Peace, Reflection Question, Video10 Comments

Acceptance and peace go hand in hand.

Watch Video — Click Here

peace

Consciously accept the good and the bad that exists in your life.

The rain and the sunlight.

The shadow and the light.

Shift your focus. Change your life.

acceptance

Accepting what is does not lower the bar.

Quite the opposite.

Acceptance shines a spotlight on your inner strengths and endurance – independent of outer circumstances.

Strengths that were fostered in the eye of the storm. ☔️

Courage. Creativity. Wisdom. Perseverance. Faith.

This very moment in time.

And it’s that good feeling that motivates you to strive for more of what’s right for you. Instead of fighting against what’s wrong for you.

HOW DO I MAKE THE SHIFT?

Begin by accepting what is.

Moment by precious moment.

Your happiness depends on it.

acceptance

Applying this Post in Everyday Life

The 3 to 1 positivity to negativity ratio is one way of applying this post in your everyday life.

Specifically, each time you criticize an area of your life (or something about yourself personally), write down three positive aspects about the very thing you condemned. Hence, the 3 to 1 positivity ratio.

Journal Reflections DrAndreaDinardo.com

For example, each time you get down on yourself for not working during the COVID-19 pandemic, write down three benefits of sheltering in place. (E.g., more time for fitness, the space to try out new hobbies, meaningful conversations with family members). This daily practice helps to dampen the adverse impact of negativity bias, a type of cognitive distortion, common to all of us.

FOMO JOMO DrAndreaDinardo.com

Likewise, stop comparing your lowlights to other people’s highlights. You never know what’s happening behind the scenes in another person’s life. Good or bad. FOMO is “a story” fabricated in the mind based on snippets of observable behaviour (video below).

Reflection Questions

  1. How has COVID-19 eased (or increased) the pressure you put on yourself and the people around you?
  2. What does acceptance “feel” like physically in your body versus fighting “what is”?
  3. What have you surrendered lately? Let go?

You Can’t Add More to Your Life Without First Letting Go

3 Ways to Create Opportunity in COVID Adversity: Class of 2020

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Change and Transformation, Emotional Intelligence, Happiness, Hope, Inspiration, Intrinsic Motivation, Leadership, Motivation, Optimism, Personal Growth, Resilience, Video

SRC 2020 Graduates Video VIKTOR FRANKL

Three Ways ~ 2020 graduates ~ can bridge the gap between what was ~ and what will be.

  1. 🎓 CONNECT
  2. 🎓 CREATE
  3. 🎓 CRISIS MANAGEMENT

All three resilience  strategies described in full detail in the 8 minute video below:

Hold On

STAY STRONG 2020 Graduates!

Growth happens in the  s p a c e  in between.

St. Clair Student Representative Council DRANDREADINARDO.COM

This video presentation was created in partnership with the Student Representative Council (SRC) at St. Clair College in Windsor Ontario Canada.

🎓 Please Pass It On 🎓