Challenges appear small in comparison to the vastness of the sky.
Solutions seem plausible. Answers come more easily.
In the presence of stars, we embrace the profound and surrender it all.
Look, up at the sky. There is a light, a beauty up there, that no shadow can touch.
J. R. R. Tolkien
Video of Post: Click Here
I asked this question of student leaders at a province wide conference pre 2020. See their answers on the chalkboard below —
GO SMALLER
One day at a time.
One hour at a time.
One class at a time.
Microseconds sometimes..
How do you keep moving forward?
What helps you adapt to change?
Interview: 5 Ways to Embrace Change
Something you can’t quite see.
In your favour.
Video of Post: The God Box
I was motivated to write this post and film an accompanying video after witnessing so many students overwrought by thoughts of inadequacy about how they looked.
In reality, there was no doubt that they were healthy and whole, but in their minds, they believed the opposite.
A phenomenon heightened by imaginary audience and social anxiety, which reaches its peak in adolescence.
Imaginary Audience Video: Click Here
Body Image Video: Click Here
These articles provide insight into why body dissatisfaction continues to be an issue, despite countless campaigns to turn the tide.
Article 1
The Image in the Mirror and the Number on the Scale
Link https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3610322
Article 2
The Effects of Social Media on Body Image and Mental Health
Link http://lifesciencesjournal.org/2020/02/the-effects-of-social-media-on-body-image-and-mental-health
Article 3
Body Weight and Self-Perception are Associated with Depression
Link Results from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES)
The First Step Towards Change is Awareness
The 15 questions below challenge cognitive distortions and perceptions using reality itself.
This inquiry is not limited to body image and weight and thus can be applied to areas of life where you find yourself overthinking and ruminating.
Source: Challenging Cognitive Distortions
Related: The Stories We Tell Ourselves
In addition to spending time in self reflection and reality testing, it is important to open up the conversation to the community at large.
In doing so we move into collective problem-solving, empowering solutions, and public health education.
“In this episode, Stephani and Dr. Dinardo speak about what positive psychology is, turning your perceived flaws into strengths by moving from self-criticism to self-compassion, posttraumatic growth and how adversity can be beneficial to us, boundaries around social media use, the magic of prevention work and maintaining hope”. Bulimia Anorexia Nervosa Association (BANA)
Listen to Interview: Click Here Watch Video of Post: Click Here
How are you coping with our universal global event?
After socially distancing and working full-time from home as a psychology professor (now online), I had never felt more appreciative and grateful for all the simple joys in my life.
In this video created for Windsor Updates I share how our family is thriving instead of merely surviving the COVID-19 crisis.
Including counting our blessings like never before.
In the next video I share pandemic resilience techniques with our local Windsor Essex community.
An interactive virtual experience hosted by F45 fitness studio owner Samantha Piercell:
What has COVID-19 awakened in you?
Compare Your Answer to One Year Ago
Video of Post: Click Here
Plan A is fantasy. Plan B is reality.
Which is often a blessing in disguise.
Yet something we seldom realize in the thick of life.
How do we move on from what was to what will be?
Honour the trials and tribulations you have been through already.
Take pride in how far you have come.
All of it preparing you for what’s happening now.
For it is in our dark times that we discover our light. And it is in our pain that we find our power.
In the video below, I share the hard lessons I learned early on as a young psychologist experiencing burnout and compassion fatigue.
And how it laid the foundation for my work in resilience and positive psychology as a psychology professor and speaker.
When we learn how to become resilient, we learn how to embrace the broad spectrum of the human experience.
Jaeda DeWalt
No one begins their journey at the top of the mountain.
We all have to earn our way up.
A universal human experience of try, fail, learn, repeat.
Ultimately understanding that failure is not bad, it is an opportunity to build character and strength.
In this video and article I describe all the failures that helped me discover who I was and what I was destined to become.
Failure introduced me to myself!
Some paths cannot be discovered without getting lost.
Erol Ozan
Stay open to everything!
Openness shifts our mindset from fixed to growth.
One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to move on from what you cannot change.
How we talk to ourselves matters tremendously. Especially during difficult times.
Re-imagine stressful moments as growth moments. Moving you one step closer to your dreams.
In this video I share my self-talk in the eye of the storm.
Chanting “I am expanding” as the rain falls.
Stop Shrinking Yourself to Places You’ve Outgrown
Furaha Joyce
One of the reasons I love teaching psychology is that it gives me the opportunity to share why we do what we do. Including in romance!
The more we understand ourselves, the more compassionate we will be about ourselves and others.
Self Awareness and Social Awareness go hand in hand.
So given today is Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be a good time to resurrect a 2019 social psychology lecture on the 5 love languages.
In this particular psychology class, we talked about: 1) what we value in a relationship, 2) our preferred love language, and 3) possible reasons for romantic successes and failures.
Discussed more fully in the two videos below.
In the first video I discuss the psychological theories and related life experiences that lay the foundation for a social psychology class on love and attraction (Chapter 14 in my psychology textbook).
In the second video I reflect upon the lessons learned in psychology class and how to apply these love lessons in real life.
Topics covered on video and in class:
When people show you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou
Love Quiz → Click Here Love Video 1 → Click Here Love Video 2 → Click Here
This list was initially created for students embarking on a new career during covid-19. It also includes EQ techniques helpful for everyone.
Watch 3 min Video of Post: Click Here
At a recent leadership conference, student leaders from St. Clair College’s Student Representative Council SRC had the opportunity to ask questions live during the final portion of the virtual training event.
One Question Stood Out The Most
What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?
In the video below, I share my answer.
Even during COVID-19.
For the pandemic has not changed my optimistic perspective on life and learning.
If anything, COVID-19 has underscored my belief in posttraumatic growth and resilience.
For everybody.
Growth is the only evidence of life.
John Henry Newman
Video of Post: Click Here
Especially during the holidays.
And if you’re anything like our household, it requires a whole new level of relationship skills.
A deeper level of empathy and compassion for the pressures of the people we are living with.
Helpful Tips: Psychology Today
How does this show up in our home?
Emotional Intelligence: Resources
One approach that has helped tremendously is how I ask to have my needs met.
Not what I say but how I say it.
Same message.
Power versus Force
Kindness versus Conviction
Watch 2 min Video of Post: Click Here
I recently did a virtual keynote at the Healthy Workplace Awards 2020 Ceremony.
Watch Video: Click Here
Given all we are collectively going through, I thought the notes and video from the virtual keynote presentation would be helpful to everyone.
Especially as we wrap up 2020. A year where we collectively experienced one of the most monumental global events in history.
A time of rapid change, adaptation, and transformation.
During the 14 minute virtual keynote, I shared a Framework for Sustainable Resilience and Mental Health called Catch Pause Repair (CPR):
Catch yourself before a stress response escalates by becoming more aware of what triggers you.
What Are Your Stress Triggers? Self Test Here
Pause and take a 60 second time out when you feel the physical sensations of stress begin to escalate.
One Minute Meditation Relax Here
Repair the root source of the heightened stress response which is often physiological in nature. Possible unmet needs include: sleep, food, fresh air, exercise.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Overview Here
Watch CPR Presentation: Click Here
I used to think of life purpose as some great big grand scheme for life, something we spend our whole life chasing after. Daunting for sure. At times overwhelming.
Then one day I realized that life purpose was a series of small, fleeting events, rather than one great big span of life. Bite size in fact.
It’s the one thing we love doing, time and time again. Over and over. Day by day. It’s the one thing we love sharing. Moment to moment. Breath by breath.
RELATED POST: Don't confuse purpose with occupation
For me it’s making the person right in front of me (no matter who they are) feel like the most important person in the world.
Engaging fully, completely, in every conversation I have.
No matter how long. No matter how short.
REFLECTION QUESTION: What makes you come alive?
My hope for today is to make you feel like the centre of my universe. One smile at a time. One conversation at time. If only for a moment. Sometimes for a lifetime.
More than you’ll ever know.
Sometimes we need a quick, fun, and easy way to elevate our mood. Suggestion: Angel Cards A simple, soulful practice that takes a (bite sized) moment. Now my friends ask me to bring angel cards to all our coffee talks. Even if we’re sitting 8 feet apart! These light-hearted cards guarantee a shift UP in conversation. From the mundane to the magical.
What lights your way today?
F45 "Live" Event: Community Resilience with Dr. Andrea Dinardo
Community members asked stress, wellness, and psychology questions in real time.
Throughout the resilience seminar, I also shared daily habits and thought patterns keeping me healthy during the pandemic.
Optimism, hope, and humour are key factors in health, happiness, and resilience.
Optimism Bootcamp The Drive Magazine
Since then, I have been interviewed virtually by:
We discussed situational and pandemic anxiety, health and positive psychology, time and energy management, social media boundaries, resilience, and thriving under pressure.
In the past, online interactions were “an extra” to everyday conversation.
Now “the virtual life” is a necessity for both our personal and professional lives.
An important and crucial way to stay connected to both our dreams and each other.
PSYCHOLOGY TEACHING ONLINE - BEHIND THE SCENES: 1. What It's Like to Be a Professor During Global Pandemic 2. "Live" Online Psychology Class
“Adapt or Die” may sound harsh.
But adaptation is truly what’s being asked of us in every area of our lives right now.
So I figure I might as well jump right in!
Because I would rather ride the wave, than have the wave ride me. 🌊
VIRTUAL KEYNOTE: Healthy Workplace Awards
The 5 Why’s is a simple and effective technique for understanding the source of our fears and cognitive distortions (irrational beliefs) one why at a time.
An analytic (below the surface) strategy originating in the psychoanalytic theories of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.
Freud’s Iceberg Analogy : Click Here
With the ultimate intention of enhancing inner peace and understanding.
By differentiating what’s real from what’s not.
To Learn More
Watch my in-depth interview on situational anxiety with Dr. Katherin Garland: https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=N7ttX6h_D8o
Watch Video Of Post: Click Here
With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become
F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning
• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.
“Failure is the opportunity to begin again.”
Read My Article in The Drive Magazine: https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback
Watch Video of Post: Click Here
Especially at the start of a brand new day.
A topic I talk about with love and laughter in this video workshop:
Step One: Awareness
Begin by WAKING UP to your inner dialogue tomorrow morning.
Is it loving? Is it kind?
Step Two: Mirror Affirmations
Write an encouraging quote for yourself on your bathroom mirror.
Pick any one of the quotes you’ve shared with the world on social media this past year and post it for yourself on your bathroom mirror.
It only takes one thought, one word, one smile, one song, to change a life.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
Thoughts. Emotions. Actions. People.
Some drain. Others invigorate.
Awareness is the first step to enhancing vitality.
The goal is to identify the source of energy leaks and peaks.
My recent interview on FM 105.9 The Region was designed to help people become more conscious of what depletes their energy and what lifts them up.
Rather than focusing on time, which is finite, I suggested to radio host Candace Sampson that we turn our attention to energy management, which in turn expands the amount of time we have.
Because when we feel energized, we can do twice as much in half the time.
What She Said Talk on FM 105.9 The Region
| Tip #1: Debits and Credits (Energy Audit) Daily Tracking System of Who and What Depletes You |
| Tip #2: Put a Time Limit on Negativity (Stove Timer) Conscious awareness of how much time with friends and family is spent on complaining (draining) versus solutions (energizing). |
| Tip #3: Energy is Everywhere (Combat Boots Anchoring Exercise) Energetic grounding rituals before interacting online. |
| *All 3 tips described in detail in both a) the August 20 energy video above and b) the extended September 1 podcast interview below. |
Video of Blog Post: Click Here
Freedom doesn’t come from holding on.
Freedom comes from letting go.
Again and again and again.
Too often we are hard on ourselves for having to release the same thought, emotion, person, or situation over and over again.
When in fact this is how life goes.
Letting go and surrendering are an ongoing process. And as necessary for our mental health as eating is for our physical health.
We must eat three times a day. And sometimes we have to surrender (thirty) three times a day.
And that’s ok. That’s how life flows..
F R E E D O M
If you only had ONE YEAR to live:
What would you STOP doing?
THE CHOICE IS YOURS
Video of Blog Post: Click Here
Mental Health Matters Interview
Situational Anxiety
This week, I speak with one of my dearest blogging friends, Dr. D!
We discuss all things anxiety. She explains the difference between anxiety disorder and situational anxiety.
Dr. Dinardo provides 3 strategies to help us cope with situational anxiety, especially because it may be heightened during the pandemic and times of racial unrest.
1. Video Format of Interview
Watch on YouTube.
2. Podcast Format of Interview
Available on SoundCloud and Apple Podcasts.
Reflection Questions
Watch Anxiety Video: Click Here
The most common question people ask when they discover I’m a retired psychologist is – “Is This Normal?“
This question is a significant motivator for creating this psychology blog in the first place.
Because too often people suffer because of lack of understanding versus a diagnosable medical condition.
differential diagnosis · the process of differentiating between two or more conditions which share similar signs or symptoms.
Two people present with similar symptoms (e.g., rapid heart beat, excessive worrying, difficulty concentrating) with vastly different causes.
One person’s symptoms is caused by lack of sleep, excessive caffeine consumption, and a recent breakup.
While the other person’s symptoms is caused by a mental illness, as diagnosed by a registered psychologist, using the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
One improves with time and lifestyle changes, while the other requires more intensive psychological intervention.
This is why it’s my life mission to share psychology everywhere, all the time.
In the classroom. During podcasts. On YouTube. Radio. Television. Psychology articles, textbooks and blog posts. On the TEDx stage. Instagram . In between sets at F45 workouts.. and at the local coffee shop.
Psychology is my favourite subject after all.
To make DAILY mental health education accessible, sustainable, and easily APPLICABLE.
To eradicate misconceptions about normal versus abnormal functioning.
To reduce stigma about mental illness.
Therapy versus Talking to Friends: What's the difference?
Especially when it comes to transitory states, emotions, and situations.
Sadness versus clinical depression.
Neatness versus obsessive compulsive disorder.
The topic of this week’s psychology video:
Is This Normal? Temporary Emotions versus Mental Illness
For example, distressing emotions often improve with rest, perspective, and time.
While mental illness requires more ongoing medical support and therapy to see improved functioning.
My hope is that mental health education becomes paramount in both the classroom and the doctor’s office.
An ongoing conversation about what’s healthy versus what’s not.
So that people don’t automatically assume they’re mentally ill simply because they’re having a bad day.
More Resources Coming Soon!
Host Dr. Kathy Garland
SITUATIONAL ANXIETY with Dr. Dinardo
Airing July 31, 2020!
For Example: Anger
That said, it’s not as simple as becoming “more calm” or “less explosive”.
The Kübler-Ross Model provides insight:
The goal is to discover if angry thoughts, actions, or emotions are serving a purpose.
Is anger helping or hurting?
And if this is the case, the goal of psychology coaching is to help clients replace confrontations (for example) with more effective communication patterns.
PSYCHOLOGY HOMEWORK
Anger → Awareness
First: Set aside time to journal thoughts and emotions about “hot topics”. This allows for a cooling off period and a chance for self reflection and integration.
Second: Plan a mutually beneficial time to discuss anger triggers and solutions with friends and family.
This 2-step communication technique results in safe, open, and engaging conversations that move both relationships and actions forward. Win Win!
What about you?
Do you interpret their meaning?
Have you ever dreamt the same dream repeatedly?
Dream Symbol: Water
A “dream theme” I have at least twice a week.
If you’re curious about the psychology of dreams, leave a dream in the comments and I will interpret it for you.
Watch Video of Post: Click Here
I see your light.
And your darkness.
That’s what makes you complete.
Changing. Transforming.
Accepting.
Whatever the day may bring.
Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.
Leonard Cohen
Yesterday someone asked me what my philosophy of psychology was. And the one word that kept coming to me over and over again was: Integration.
All the parts of ourselves. The scars and the stars. Just like coal and diamonds. Same element (carbon). Different manifestation.
Wholeness is the goal. Perfection is overrated.
