“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our freedom.” Viktor Frankl
3. Find Your Flow
In psychology, flow, also known as being in the zone, is the mental state where a person is fully immersed in the moment. Flow often occurs during sports and creative activities such as writing, painting, and teaching. In this state, people often report enhanced well-being, focus, and joy.
4. Commune with Nature
“Nature has the capacity of making us become one with the universe. Look at a tree, a flower, a plant. How still they are, how deeply rooted in just being. When you look at a tree and perceive its stillness, you become still yourself.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Practice Loving Kindness
“Be kind to yourself. And let your kindness flood the world.” Pema Chödrön
I was motivated to write this post and film an accompanying video after witnessing so many students overwrought by thoughts of inadequacy about how they looked.
In reality, there was no doubt that they were healthy and whole, but in their minds, they believed the opposite.
In addition to spending time in self reflection and reality testing, it is important to open up the conversation to the community at large.
In doing so we move into collective problem-solving, empowering solutions, and public health education.
Podcast Interview
Be Yourself: Happy. Healthy. Hopeful.
Turning Self-Criticism into Self-Compassion
“In this episode, Stephani and Dr. Dinardo speak about what positive psychology is, turning your perceived flaws into strengths by moving from self-criticism to self-compassion, posttraumatic growth and how adversity can be beneficial to us, boundaries around social media use, the magic of prevention work and maintaining hope”. Bulimia Anorexia Nervosa Association (BANA)
How are you coping with our universal global event?
How has your perception of yourself and the world evolved?
How has COVID-19 transformed you?
What is the higher purpose in all of this?
I Am Waking Up
After socially distancing and working full-time from home as a psychology professor (now online), I had never felt more appreciative and grateful for all the simple joys in my life.
In this video created for Windsor Updates I share how our family is thriving instead of merely surviving the COVID-19 crisis.
Including counting our blessings like never before.
Community Resilience
In the next video I share pandemic resilience techniques with our local Windsor Essex community.
So given today is Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be a good time to resurrect a 2019 social psychology lecture on the 5 love languages.
In this particular psychology class, we talked about: 1) what we value in a relationship, 2) our preferred love language, and 3) possible reasons for romantic successes and failures.
Discussed more fully in the two videos below.
The Theories of Love (Part 1)
In the first video I discuss the psychological theories and related life experiences that lay the foundation for a social psychology class on love and attraction (Chapter 14 in my psychology textbook).
The Reality of Love (Part 2)
In the second video I reflect upon the lessons learned in psychology class and how to apply these love lessons in real life.
Topics covered on video and in class:
While dating, be on the lookout for concrete factual evidence of what is important to you. Both in person and online.
For example, how does “love for family” show up in your potential partner’s actions.
Also, if your relationship values include loyalty, spending time outdoors, and making mental health a priority. Is this something the person you are dating also values and lives by?
It is also important to look beyond the surface and pay attention to nonverbal cues, communication, and behaviour.
The first thing I do before I engage with someone online is read their page – literally!
I read their “About Me” biography. Plus their comments and interactions on social media, blog posts, and articles. And if available, I listen to their interviews and watch accompanying videos.
I love learning about the people I interact with. Especially their strengths.
This is where I get curious about what makes a company tick!
The people, the history, the economics, the geography, the philosophy.
The company’s motto and theme song (check out their facebook page).
Pick up the phone and talk to the receptionist and administrative assistants — the pulse of the organization. And if possible, engage with front line workers and management.
This is also the time to assess if the company’s core values match up with your own.
What makes you unique, different, quirky, goofy, all kinds of wonderful?
This is the part of the online interaction process where your personality wraps around your talents, education, and abilities.
For example: when I was a kid, my Dad always said: “Andrea, you better get a job where you get paid to talk” because.. I couldn’t stop talking! (you should have seen my grade 8 report card)
This is why I come alive in the classroom but would fade away in a research lab.
What parts of your personality make your skill set stand out?
At a recent leadership conference, student leaders from St. Clair College’s Student Representative Council SRC had the opportunity to ask questions live during the final portion of the virtual training event.
Ask Dr. D
The student leaders raised the reflection bar high during this discussion period.
Repair the root source of the heightened stress response which is often physiological in nature. Possible unmet needs include: sleep, food, fresh air, exercise.
I used to think of life purpose as some great big grand scheme for life, something we spend our whole life chasing after. Daunting for sure. At times overwhelming.
Then one day I realized that life purpose was a series of small, fleeting events, rather than one great big span of life. Bite size in fact.
It’s the one thing we love doing, time and time again. Over and over. Day by day. It’s the one thing we love sharing. Moment to moment. Breath by breath.
Opening the door for someone at the grocery store.
Listening intently to my husband at the end of a long day.
Mission for this Moment
My hope for today is to make you feel like the centre of my universe. One smile at a time. One conversation at time. If only for a moment. Sometimes for a lifetime.
Sometimes we need a quick, fun, and easy way to elevate our mood. Suggestion: Angel Cards A simple, soulful practice that takes a (bite sized) moment. Now my friends ask me to bring angel cards to all our coffee talks. Even if we’re sitting 8 feet apart! These light-hearted cards guarantee a shift UP in conversation. From the mundane to the magical.
The 5 Why’s is a simple and effective technique for understanding the source of our fears and cognitive distortions (irrational beliefs) one why at a time.
Exploring the Unconscious Mind
An analytic (below the surface) strategy originating in the psychoanalytic theories of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.“
With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become
F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning
• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.
Awareness is the first step to enhancing vitality.
The goal is to identify the source of energy leaks and peaks.
Where to start?
My recent interview on FM 105.9 The Region was designed to help people become more conscious of what depletes their energy and what lifts them up.
A health psychology practice that benefits mood, motivation, and productivity.
Because when we feel energized, we can do twice as much in half the time.
Rather than focusing on time, which is finite, I suggested to radio host Candace Sampson that we turn our attention to energy management, which in turn expands the amount of time we have.
Tip #1: Debits and Credits (Energy Audit) Daily Tracking System of Who and What Depletes You
Tip#2: Put a Time Limit on Negativity (Stove Timer) Conscious awareness of how much time with friends and family is spent on complaining (draining) versus solutions (energizing).
Tip #3: Energy is Everywhere (Combat Boots Anchoring Exercise) Energetic grounding rituals before interacting online.
*All 3 tips described in detail in both a) the August 20 energy video above and b) the extended September 1 podcast interview below.
Reflection Questions:
How do you manage your energy throughout the day?
Is energy something you consciously pay attention to?
What is your energy level on a scale of 1-10 right now?
This week, I speak with one of my dearest blogging friends, Dr. D!
We discuss all things anxiety. She explains the difference between anxiety disorder and situational anxiety.
Dr. Dinardo provides 3 strategies to help us cope with situational anxiety, especially because it may be heightened during the pandemic and times of racial unrest.
The most common question people ask when they discover I’m a retired psychologist is – “Is This Normal?“
This question is a significant motivator for creating this psychology blog in the first place.
Because too often people suffer because of lack of understanding versus a diagnosable medical condition.
differential diagnosis · the process of differentiating between two or more conditions which share similar signs or symptoms.
Case Study
Two people present with similar symptoms (e.g., rapid heart beat, excessive worrying, difficulty concentrating) with vastly different causes.
On closer inspection
One person’s symptoms is caused by lack of sleep, excessive caffeine consumption, and a recent breakup.
While the other person’s symptoms is caused by a mental illness, as diagnosed by a registered psychologist, using the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
One improves with time and lifestyle changes, while the other requires more intensive psychological intervention.
Education Empowers Everyone
This is why it’s my life mission to share psychology everywhere, all the time.
