Here I am.

The aftermath.

No matter how many times I give a speech or participate in a big event, I am often left with the same feeling for a day or so.

Sadness. A kind of longing. A sense of emptiness.

For weeks, sometimes months, I practice, prepare, and edit my work. Immersed, focused, lost in the creative flow.

At night. On weekends. During all my free time. Hoping to do my best. Not wanting to let down.

Researching. Anticipating. Building  up to the main event.

Afterward, what was once was filled with busyness is an open space. A hollowness that cannot be filled by looking back or planning ahead.

An ache. A void. For no good logical reason.

A place inside that can only be filled in present time.

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So I go for a bike ride knowing how Mother Nature always soothes my heart and replenishes my soul.

There is no more looking back or ahead when I am outside.

At that moment I hear three words deep in my heart.

Here I am.

Here I am.

For solace cannot be found in travelling through time.

It can only be found in where you are right now.

Here I am.

in the blooming trees

in the birds soaring

in the sun setting

in the water flowing

in this moment wherever you are.

Here I am. 💚

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