From darkness comes light.

“Not until we are lost do we begin to find ourselves.”482817-Strength-through-adversity_banner

No matter what happens today, know that in the end everything works out.

Trust me. I speak from experience.

My smile comes equally from a place of darkness and a place of light.

How would I ever know how good I have it today — if I hadn’t lived a life of challenge and adversity.

And the best part is that I get to revisit my twenties every single day.

A time where many of my life lessons were born.

Listening and learning with my psychology students on campus.

And staying in touch for years to come.

I will always be grateful for the tough times in my life — for this is where my strength lies.

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I believe the same for you.

You are a diamond in the making.

This I know for sure. 💞💎

Related: I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past.

This blog post was written for all the students around the world writing final exams this week. Cheering them on! Encouraging them to not give up. This post is also meant for you – My Fellow Student of Life.

Encouraging someone through life’s challenges.

How do we bridge the gap between expectations and reality?

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The idea we have for our life rarely, if ever, matches up with the life we end up with.

Which is often a blessing in disguise.

Yet something we seldom realize in the thick of difficulty.

Success is not a straight line. 

When dreams fall apart, feelings of failure and helplessness often set in.

This is the exact time when we need others to hold the light for us. To be an encourager. To show us the way.

STRATEGIES FOR EMPOWERING OTHERS

 Dreams ↔ Failure ↔ Destiny

1. Encourage people by sharing your own stories of difficulty and overcoming.

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This helps others understand that no one begins their success journey at the top of the mountain. And that each failure is an opportunity to rise up. Again and again.

2. Hold a safe space for loved ones to ‘not be ok’ when overwhelmed.

Rushing anyone through difficult emotions will prolong feelings of fear, threat, and danger.

Instead, we can flip the switch by leaning into “the overwhelm” and asking: “What are you trying to teach me?”

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3. The ultimate encouragement strategy is to believe in someone, especially when they don’t. 

This helps shift their mindset from not enough to overflowing. Creating a new heightened vision for life’s unexpected bumps and detours.

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You got this!”💥

Thriving Under Pressure.

How can two people experience the same stressful event and react in incredibly different ways?  What explains the difference between stress thrivers and non-thrivers?

Research shows that some individuals possess a set of resilience skills and traits that allows them to flourish in response to stress.

“Resilience is what gives people the psychological strength to cope with stress. They understand that setbacks happen and sometimes life is hard and painful. They still experience the emotional pain, grief, and sense of loss that comes after a tragedy, but their mental outlook allows them to work through such feelings and recover.” Source: Living Well

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Building Stress Resilience

Stress hardiness is a pathway to resilience – the ability to remain healthy and strong during stressful and challenging times.

Hardy individuals transform stressful circumstances into growth opportunities by reframing adversity and taking direct action in response to stress.

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Bouncing Back from Adversity

In the video below, I describe the 3 key components of stress hardiness:

1. Control

– Focusing on the things you can change and letting go of the things you can’t.

E.g., “You hold the key.”

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2. Challenge

– Reframing stressful challenges as opportunities for growth.

E.g., “Strength Training.

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3. Commitment

– Envisioning a higher purpose above and beyond the immediate stressor.

E.g., “Ask yourself why you started.

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Each component a critical factor in cultivating the ability to bounce back and thrive under pressure.

Can Stress Hardiness be Learned?

Yes! Research demonstrates that not only can stress hardiness be learned, it has wide-ranging applications in health and wellness, including:

1. Lowering test anxiety in high school students.

2. Reducing perceived stress in college students.

3. Protecting against war-related stress in Army Reserve forces.

4. Improving resilience and coping skills in stressed out professionals.

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Related Post: What's your stress threshold?

Failure is the opportunity to begin again.

Ask someone how they feel about failure in the midst of it; life as they know it is over. 

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Ask someone how they feel about failure one year later; life as they know it has been transformed. 🦋 

5 Ways to Feel Strong in the Midst of Failure:

  1. Take a long deep breath. Be still. Don’t Rush.
  2. Find a safe place to challenge your fears & beliefs.
  3. Rest. Take a long walk. Eat a nourishing meal.
  4. Learn something new. Have Fun! Self-Discover.
  5. Imagine. Envision. Explore & Begin Again!

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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.