Emotions are neither good or bad.
Only labeling makes it so.
Instead, lean in and ask:
Helpful Article with Strategies
Click Here: Lean into loneliness
The word motivation stems from the Latin word “movere” which means to move. Which is why MOMENTUM is such a powerful force when it comes to motivation. Motivation doesn’t happen before the creative act — it happens during.
Small steps.
Day by day.
Week by week.
Moving you forward.
Closer to your dreams.
Just show up.
Related Post: Purpose For One Day
When I was a kid my mom set the egg timer for almost everything we did; whether it was how long we spent doing our homework, weeding the garden, watching television, or complaining about life’s challenges.
It helped us to understand that nothing lasts forever – good or bad.
This was especially important when we felt helpless over things we did not have control over, including chores we did not want to do.
Setting time limits also taught us to respect how our words and actions impact ourselves and others.
Full disclosure: My mom is a psychologist too.
To this day I set a timer on the stove.
A simple, yet effective way to motivate myself through tedious tasks and become more mindful of time itself.
The timer principle can also be applied to how often we are negative vs. positive throughout the course of a day.
Negativity is the easy (automatic) route. So we need to be conscious of where our mind flows.
Venting feels good in the moment, but when it goes on too long, the costs outweigh the benefits.
Too often we complain about stressors for hours beyond the momentary challenge has passed. Leaving little time in the day for appreciation, wonder, and gratitude.
Then one day we wake up and realize that life is too short to be all negative, all the time. Even (especially) when life gets tough.
Negativity is to be expected. It’s part of the human experience.
The question is – how long will you stay there.
Share your challenges. Share your obstacles. Share your difficulties.
But also leave room for what’s good in your life.
Interview: Energy vs. Time Management
In psychology class this week, I teach one of my favourite subjects – Stress, Coping, and Health Psychology Chapter 11 in my psychology textbook.
I purposely teach this topic during the height of midterms. Raising awareness about the healthy (and not so healthy) ways students manage stress is critical for building resilience.
One of my top 10 techniques for shifting students from stress to strength is to share what’s going right even (especially) when things are going wrong. Small uplifts in the course of the day change everything. Fleeting. Unexpected. Goodness.
Based on my experience as a school psychologist, I will never deny the stress students are under. Witnessing adversity is an essential part of moving through it. However, I choose not to remain in the territory of “what’s wrong” for too long.
Once we acknowledge what’s wrong. We open our eyes to the grace that takes place throughout the day.
Students make the shift from powerless to empowered by sharing ordinary joys happening in their lives.
A radiant smile from a fellow commuter. Free coffee at McDonald’s. An unexpected A on a paper. A sweet parking spot. Spending time with an old friend. A surprise compliment from a stranger. Laughing out loud with fellow classmates. A really good night’s sleep.
And I’m the fortunate professor who gets to hear all these uplifts at the end of a long, rainy day. One more reason why I love working with students.
Instead of seeing obstacles and stressors as taking you down.
Try perceiving challenges as taking you UP ↑
Again and again and again.
Watch my video for helpful strategies on how to thrive.
It’s as if the whole world has been conditioned to respond to stress the same way, by the word alone. A habitual thought response that is often more dangerous than the stressor itself.
Which is one of many reasons why I love Kelly McGonigal’s TED Talk. It encourages us to think about stress in a whole new way.
Using health psychology research, Dr. McGonigal reveals how perceiving stress as either positive or negative can have this “live or die” impact on your stress response.
Believe that stress is good for you and you live (longer). Alternatively, believe that stress is bad for you and you die (sooner).
Powerful words. Solid research to back her statements up.
Hope you enjoy the video!
“Stress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to see stress as a positive.” Source: TED Talks
Related Post: What's your stress threshold?
When I was a kid my mom set the egg timer for almost everything we did; whether it was how long we spent doing our homework, weeding the garden, watching television, or complaining about life’s challenges.
It helped us to understand that nothing lasts forever – good or bad.
This was especially important when we felt helpless over things we did not have control over, including chores we did not want to do.
Setting time limits also taught us to respect how our words and actions impact ourselves and others.
Full disclosure: My mom is a psychologist too.
To this day I set a timer on the stove.
A simple, yet effective way to motivate myself through tedious tasks and become more mindful of time itself.
The timer principle can also be applied to how often we are negative (and positive) throughout the course of a day.
Venting feels good in the moment, but when it goes on too long, the costs outweigh the benefits.
Too often we complain about stressors for hours beyond the momentary challenge has passed. Leaving little time in the day for appreciation, wonder, and gratitude.
Then one day we wake up and realize that life is too short to be all negative, all the time. Even (especially) when life gets tough.
Negativity is to be expected. It’s part of the human experience.
The question is – how long will you stay there.
Share your challenges. Share your obstacles. Share your difficulties.
But also leave room for what’s good in your life.
Helpful Video: 3 Energy Techniques
Recently, a fellow blogger asked an excellent question regarding tipping points and stress response.
They were curious to know if each of us has a tipping point when it comes to stress management.
And if so, how does it differ from person to person.
I love questions like this because they encourage me to dig deep, reflect, and imagine new ways of perceiving stress.
Tipping points and thresholds are often used synonymously in the literature. Especially when discussing economic, historical, and ecological phenomenon.
That said, there is a clear distinction between thresholds and tipping points in psychological applications.
Thresholds are more individual (unique to each person), while tipping points are more universal (shared by the majority).
Which is why I see each person’s stress response as more of a stress threshold than a tipping point.
See diagram above to help understand how thresholds affect your individual stress response. This graphic also depicts why a certain level of stress (below threshold) can be good for you.
We may be good at some things, but we are not great at everything.
For example, the more challenging academic work is for me (high stress threshold) the more I flourish. Mostly because this is my area of expertise.
While this is not the case with other areas of my life (low stress threshold) and thus I tend to react (too quickly) when under pressure in certain personal situations.
In addition to overall stress response patterns, thresholds differ from one situation to the next.
Situational fluctuations in thresholds reflect our strengths, challenges, and personal preferences.
I discuss the topic of situational stress and anxiety in more detail during my Mental Health Matters Interview with Dr. Garland.
Finally, I believe that our ability to cope and thrive under pressure is a lifelong practice. Something that is never mastered – only strengthened.
And the more we learn about life and ourselves, the higher our thresholds will become. As the majority of our stress is beating ourselves up – long after the stressor is gone.
Have you ever noticed that the more challenging life gets the more critical you are of yourself.
And the more critical you are of yourself the more challenging life becomes.
It’s a fearful, exhausting, repetitive loop that feeds on itself.
When you’re under extreme pressure, the last thing you need is another self-talk rant of why you’re not good enough.
What you do need is a boatload of unconditional love.
Today vow to give yourself the gift of more love, more kindness, more generosity.
A gift that will keep on giving.
Long after the stress is gone.
Find an affirmation or a positive quote that makes you stop, take a breath, and feel your heart beating deep inside.
Something that reminds you of how magical you truly are.
Post it on your fridge.
Write it on your mirror.
Save it on your phone.
The next time you start beating yourself up over the smallest thing, take it as a sign that you need some extra love and tender care.
The more love you give yourself, the more generous, authentic, and compassionate all of your relationships will be.
Including the relationship you have with your innermost self.
Related: Mirror Affirmation Exercise
