Anger is a sign that something needs to change.

Anger Quote DrAndreaDinardo.com

One of the most common requests from my psychology coaching clients is to help them find healthier ways of expressing their emotions.

For Example: Anger

That said, it’s not as simple as becoming “more calm” or “less explosive”.

The first step in transformation and lasting change is assessment.

The Kübler-Ross Model provides insight:

5 Stages of Grief and Change

BELOW THE SURFACE EXPLORATION

The intention is to discover if angry thoughts, actions, or emotions are serving a purpose.

Is anger helping or hurting?

How is anger serving you

Why Anger?

Perhaps anger allows someone to speak up, say no, set a boundary, or bond with friends.

And if this is the case, the goal of psychology coaching is to help clients replace confrontations (for example) with more effective communication patterns.

PSYCHOLOGY HOMEWORK

Anger → Awareness

First: Set aside time to journal thoughts and emotions about “hot topics”. This allows for a cooling off period and a chance for self reflection and integration.

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Second: Plan a mutually beneficial time to discuss anger triggers and solutions with friends and family.

This 2-step communication technique results in safe, open, and engaging conversations that move both relationships and actions forward. Win Win!

Reflection Questions

  1. What Purpose Does Anger Serve in Your Life? Gains versus Losses?
  2. Does It Strengthen or Deplete You?
  3. Does Anger Move You Further Away from Your Dreams or Closer to Your Dreams?
  4. What In Your Life Needs To Change?
  5. Do You Need More Effective Ways of Coping with Frustration and/or Loss?

Once you understand the underlying purpose anger serves in your life, you’re ready for the next stage in the change process:

Transition and Transformation

Change Quote DrAndreaDinardo.com.

Psychology Resources

  1. New Conceptualizations of Anger: https://www.apa.org/monitor/mar03/advances
  2. How Anger Affects the Body: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/the-mind-body-connection/202007/what-causes-anger-and-how-it-affects-the-body
  3. Healthy Anger Release Techniques: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-release-anger
  4. Assessing Motivation To Change: https://drandreadinardo.com/2018/08/18/why-change-now
Video of Blog Post: Click Here

Compassionate Listening

Even as a psychologist, I often don’t know what to say.

Especially now with so many people experiencing pain and trauma in escalating ways.

So rather than assume what someone needs, I have learned over the years to ask one simple question:

How Can I Support You?

Dr. Andrea Dinardo Empathic Listen

In doing so, I create a safe space for healing and acceptance.

Something we all need right now, more than ever before.

Unconditional love and support.

To be witnessed. To be heard.

All good conversation begins with listening.

Only then can we transformed by what we learn. 🌎💞

Video of Post ⇒ Click Here

Peer Pressure: What happened when I quit drinking?

Getting ready for my online summer courses which requires a lot of new psychology videos.

Including video discussions on health, wellness, and personal empowerment.

Similar to in person college classes, the goal is to stimulate active discussions and open communication.

For example:

Discussion Topic

What happened when I quit drinking?

Watch this short video on my own experience with peer pressure, alcohol, and behaviour change and answer the questions below.

Reflection Questions

  1. How has peer pressure influenced your life decisions?
  2. Have you experienced unexpected push back from friends and relatives when you made a significant health change? If so, how did you handle it?
  3. In what ways have your peers and community sabotaged your health and wellness choices?
  4.  In what ways have your peers and community supported your health and wellness choices?
  5. What strategies help you stay committed to positive lifestyle decisions?

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Conversations ⇔ Change 

I also encourage use of this video and reflection questions as an opportunity to talk openly with friends and family about the powerful impact of social influence on substance use. Open conversations empower youth to think for themselves and in turn, reduces their susceptibility to coercion.

Watch Psychology Video Click Here

Emotional Freedom Technique for Social Anxiety & Imaginary Audience

DrAndreaDinardo.com

Have you ever felt like you’re being watched? 

Judged and scrutinized.

Like all eyes are on you and every potential error you make?

Everyone experiences this phenomenon from time to time, especially when trying out something for the first time.

Think back to the first time you gave a dinner party, swung a golf club, wrote a college exam, or posted your first blog online.
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Social Anxiety and Heightened Experiences

Individuals with social anxiety experience this sense of being watched (and thought about) significantly more than the average person.

Independent of skills and expertise.

Why is this the case?

The Imaginary Audience

One potential explanation is a psychological phenomenon called imaginary audience experienced frequently in adolescence.

  • A concept first introduced by social psychologists David Elkind and Erik Erikson in the 1960’s.

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Think back to how easily embarrassed you were as a teenager.

  • If you wore the “wrong shirt” to school, it felt like everyone was gossiping about you and your entire social life would end as a result.

Resulting in perpetual self-consciousness, distorted views of how others saw you, causing in a tendency to conform for fear of sticking out.

  • Limiting your freedom to express outside the norm for fear of collective banishment and reprisal.

What does the research say?

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Using the Imaginary Audience Scale as a Measure of Social Anxiety in Young Adults

Two studies explored imaginary audience phenomenon among college students.

Imaginary audience behavior was found to be related to measures of social anxiety, self perception, and personality.

Furthermore, imaginary audience scores were more strongly related to anxiety than abstract reasoning.

These results suggest that imaginary audience experiences that persist into early adulthood have more to do with social anxiety than with cognitive development.

Original Source: Click Here

DrAndreaDinardo.com
Simple Things on Repeat

The next time you imagine you are being watched, talked about, or judged by others, remember that imaginary audience IS AN ILLUSION heightened by social media, physiology (eg., lack of sleep), and overthinking.

  • When in truth, people are so focused on themselves (and their phones), that there is a 99% chance that no one cares what you are up to or how you are performing.

This is a very good thing!

CARPE DIEM

Today’s Freedom Mantra

Live like nobody’s watching. Love like nobody’s watching. Succeed  like nobody’s watching. Fail like nobody’s watching. Write like nobody’s watching!

Video of Post ⇒ Click Here

FOMO ANXIETY Simple Tips for Feeling Better

This post is for anyone experiencing FOMO. Particularly on a long weekend holiday!

Psychology Insight:

Holidays heighten social anxiety of every kind.

FOMO especially.

Consider these questions as you explore what’s going on below the surface.

1. Do you remember the first time you experienced FOMO?

2. How did you cope with the anxiety of missing out?

3. What if anything would you be willing to give up in your life in exchange for the fantasy of someone else’s life or experience?

4. What about your life do you cherish above all else?

Please share in the comments below, including your own strategies for handling FOMO. I’d love to know!

Savour this moment.

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Radio Interview: Why People Refuse to Change Their Minds

Interview Now Available 📻☀️

I begin 6 min 24 sec into radio segment:  http://www.iheartradio.ca/am800/audio/sunday-morning-live-dr-andrea-dinardo-1.9561424?mode=Article

JULY 28 RADIO SHOW TOPIC:

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

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I would love your questions and reflections on the topic of why people refuse to change their minds and/or adjust their stance on a political, personal, relationship, or health issue — despite overwhelming factual evidence contrary to their personal opinions.

Watch video preview — click here

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

1. Have you ever refused to listen to contradictory viewpoints? Why?

2. What type of persuasive techniques does it take to change your mind?

3. Why do you think people prefer comforting lies over unpleasant truths

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Cognitive dissonance can be reduced in one of three ways:

1) Change one or more of the attitudes, behavior, beliefs, etc., to make the relationship between the two elements a consonant one.

2) Acquire new information that outweighs the dissonant beliefs.

3) Reduce the importance of the cognitions (i.e., beliefs, attitudes).

McLeod, S. A. (2018, Feb 05). Cognitive dissonance.

wisdom

Interview Now Available 📻☀️

I begin 6 min 24 sec into radio segment:  http://www.iheartradio.ca/am800/audio/sunday-morning-live-dr-andrea-dinardo-1.9561424?mode=Article

Please share your ideas too!

DrAndreaDinardo.com

What’s your love language?

How do you express your love?

What do you value most in a partner?

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Love Lessons in the Classroom

In this week’s social psychology class, we talked about:

1) What we value in relationships.

2) Our 5 love languages.

FiveLoveLanguages-Web

3) The thought processes behind choosing a partner.

Video #1: Before Class Preparations

In video #1  I discuss the psychological theories and related life experiences that lay the foundation for this week’s social psychology class.


Love Lessons in Real Life

In video #2 below, I reflect on the lessons learned in this week’s psychology class and share insights on how to apply the love lessons in real life.

1) Including concrete ways of matching love values to your potential partner’s “tells”. Specifically, how to read your date’s nonverbal cues and behaviour.

2) And how to look for *concrete evidence* of love values, including honesty and thoughtfulness, in your date’s actions and words.

Video #2 : After Class Reflections

YOUR TURN

Let’s Talk about Love!

1. What is the one value you cherish most in a partner?

Examples:

trustworthiness – kindness – compassion – intelligence – humour – adventurousness – physical attractiveness – undivided attention

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2. What is your preferred love language?

Examples:

Love Notes – Surprise Gifts – Helping – Quality Time – Cuddling

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Please share in the comments!

I’d love to hear what you value in love
For more videos → YouTube Channel