Category: Self Esteem and Empowerment

Be willing to see failure as feedback.

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Change and Transformation, courage, Hope, Personal Growth, Purpose and Meaning, Resilience, Self Esteem and Empowerment, Strengths, Stress Hardiness, Student Motivation, Student Success, Thriving41 Comments

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What does failure mean to you?

With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction. Helped me to develop strength and authenticity. Ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become. 

  • The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most. No matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
  • The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself. No matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
  • The lay off from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself. No matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.

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What determines our reaction to failure?

Learning from failure is the ultimate goal. That said, not everyone responds to failure in the same way, at the same time.

Our reaction to failure is determined by several factors, including:

  1. The timing of the failure.
  2. The magnitude of the failure.
  3. The attribution attached to the failure.
  4. The level of support during the failure.
  5. The self-efficacy and belief in starting over.

Ask someone how they feel about failure in the midst of it; life as they know it is over. Ask someone how they feel about failure one year later; life as they know it has been transformed.

The key to supporting someone experiencing failure is not to rush them through the healing process. Yes, in the long run, the gifts of failure outweigh the costs.  But we must be sensitive to how dark it feels in the eye of the storm. Only then can move towards the light.

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Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?

Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives.

  • If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
  • If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
  • If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
  • If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.

Your turn:

  • If it weren’t for failure _______________.
  • If it weren’t for failure _______________.
  • If it weren’t for failure _______________.
  • If it weren’t for failure _______________.

Resilience Exercise

What lessons have you learned from failure?

See the light in others and treat them as if that’s all you see.

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Awareness, Hope, Personal Growth, Positive Psychology, Resilience, Self Esteem and Empowerment, Strengths, Stress Hardiness, Thriving33 Comments
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Your strengths light my way. ✨

The field of positive psychology has been a blessing for me, both personally and professionally.

By focusing on strengths first, I buffer myself against the  vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue often associated with the practice of psychology. And in turn, my positive approach heightens the resilience and stress hardiness in others. (Boomerang effect!)

Everywhere I go, I’m on the lookout for genius. And I don’t mean genius in the general sense. I mean strengths, assets, gifts, capabilities, multiple intelligences that are unique to each person. (Einstein’s quote below captures it perfectly.)

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For not only is strengths finding essential for illuminating the abundance in others, it is essential for harnessing the bounty in ourselves.

As each time we witness the light shining brightly in another, we see their radiance reflected back in ourselves.

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Reflection Questions

Identify 2-5 strengths that you witnessed in others today. Describe how seeing the strengths in others brought out the strengths in you.

  1. Today I discovered my brother’s ___________.  This illuminated my:
  2. Today I noticed my colleague’s  ____________.  This bolstered my:
  3. Today I uncovered my neighbour’s  __________.  This reinforced my:

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Related Post: Positive Psychology on Campus.

If you need help with finding the good in others especially the challenging people in your life click on this this link to a great article in Psychology Today.

Lay down your burdens.

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Affirmation, Change and Transformation, courage, Emotional Freedom, Inspiration, Mantra, motivation, Personal Growth, Resilience, Self Esteem and Empowerment, Thriving33 Comments

No more futile tests.

No more unrelenting trials.

No more self inflicted tribulations.

Lay down your burdens.

Let. Them. Go.

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Take a breath. Take a rest.

You have strengthened from your burdens.

You have overcome great obstacles.

You have developed. You have grown.

You have earned your freedom ten times over.

Trust your wisdom. Trust your wings.

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 This is your time to fly.

Who are you?

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Intelligence, Intrinsic Motivation, Personal Growth, Personality Assessment, psychology, Self Esteem and Empowerment, Strengths Assessment, Success51 Comments

Self-awareness is the starting point for personal success. Until you know who you are, how will you know what truly motivates you?

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Reawaken your passion for life by reflecting on “Who you are“.

  • How would you describe yourself in one word?
  • What are 3 of your strengths?
  • What are 3 of your challenges?
  • When do you feel most alive?
  • What is your favourite movie? Book?
  • What is your dream job?
  • What is your dream place to live?
  • If you could have 5 minutes alone with anyone (dead or alive) who would that be? What would you ask them?
  • Do you prefer being indoors or outdoors?
  • What is (was) your favourite subject in school?
  • If you could own any car, what would it be?
  • What character trait is most important to you?
  • What makes your heart sing?
  • Do you prefer spending time alone or with people?
  • What is your favourite ice cream?
  • Are you a morning or a night person?
  • What is your favourite song? Band?
  • Finally… How do you define yourself at the very core of your existence?

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Stand Your Sacred Ground.

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn courage, empowerment, Health Psychology, Mantra, Mindfulness, Peace, Self Esteem and Empowerment, Strengths, Stress, Stress Management, Thriving38 Comments

 

Studio shot of pencil erasing the word fear from piece of paper

FEAR ->Forget Everything And Run.

Each time we feel threatened (threat is the fundamental definition of stress) our first instinct is to “fight or flight“. PUFF UP or Shrink.

This perpetual “fight or flight” response loop eventually creates a host of secondary problems, above and beyond, the original stressor (or oppressor).

It does not matter how we attempt to “control” a stressful situation – physically, verbally, or by running away from it.

Eventually, a repetitive “fight or flight” response cycle will take a significant physical and psychological toll.

IS THERE A BETTER WAY ?

FEAR ->Face Everything And Rise.

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Strengths First. 

The mantra Stand Your Sacred Ground reminds us that the many strengths within us will always be greater than the perceived threats (stress) outside of us.

The key is to first discover and then embrace, each and every one of our divine gifts. Within us. And all around us.

Breathe and Receive.

The mantra Stand Your Sacred Ground inspires us to stand still, take a deep breath, and trust that being yourself is enough.

Simply holding your own ground is enough.

No fight. No flight. No Fear. Only love.

Curing the disease to please. One no at a time.

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Freedom, Self Esteem and Empowerment, Stress Management15 Comments

“You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.”

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The Beauty of NO.

When you learn to say no to something you no longer want to do, to people you no longer want to spend time with, to projects you no longer have time for, your world does not get smaller.

Your World Gets BIGGER.

Each time you have the strength to say no to takers who drain your time, your energy, your resources, your patience – you create more space for each authentic, heartfelt, luminescent, unconditional, absolute YES!

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More Room for YES.

Each time you have the courage to say no to people pleasing – you create more time (for the people, projects, and places that truly matter), more truth (about who you really are, and what you really want to do), more opportunities (to make a meaningful difference in this world), more freedom (to follow your dreams, your destiny, your calling), and ultimately, more genuine happiness to share with this great big, beautiful world.

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This is your world. This is your life. This is your time to shine!

Your strengths light my way.

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Awareness, Hope, Personal Growth, Positive Psychology, Resilience, Self Esteem and Empowerment, Strengths, Stress Hardiness, Thriving14 Comments

“See the light in others and treat them as if that’s all you see.”

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The field of positive psychology has been a blessing for me, both personally and professionally.

By focusing on strengths first, I buffer myself against the  vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue often associated with the practice of psychology. And in turn, my positive approach heightens the resilience and stress hardiness in others. (Boomerang effect!)

Everywhere I go, I’m on the lookout for genius. And I don’t mean genius in the general sense. I mean strengths, assets, gifts, capabilities, multiple intelligences that are unique to each person. (Einstein’s quote below captures it perfectly.)

img_0195

For not only is strengths finding essential for illuminating the abundance in others, it is essential for harnessing the bounty in ourselves.

As each time we witness the light shining brightly in another, we see their radiance reflected back in ourselves.

img_0197

Reflection Questions

Identify 2-5 strengths that you witnessed in others today. Describe how seeing the strengths in others brought out the strengths in you.

  1. Today I discovered my sister’s ___________.  This illuminated my:
  2. Today I noticed my manager’s  ____________.  This bolstered my:
  3. Today I uncovered my student’s  __________.  This reinforced my:

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Related Post: Positive Psychology on Campus.

If you need help with finding the good in others especially the challenging people in your life click on this this link to a great article in Psychology Today.