I used to think of life purpose as some great big grand scheme for life, something we spend our whole life chasing after. Daunting for sure. At times overwhelming.
Then one day I realized that life purpose was a series of small, fleeting events, rather than one great big span of life. Bite size in fact.
It’s the one thing we love doing, time and time again. Over and over. Day by day. It’s the one thing we love sharing. Moment to moment. Breath by breath.
Opening the door for someone at the grocery store.
Listening intently to my husband at the end of a long day.
Mission for this Moment
My hope for today is to make you feel like the centre of my universe. One smile at a time. One conversation at time. If only for a moment. Sometimes for a lifetime.
Sometimes we need a quick, fun, and easy way to elevate our mood. Suggestion: Angel Cards A simple, soulful practice that takes a (bite sized) moment. Now my friends ask me to bring angel cards to all our coffee talks. Even if we’re sitting 8 feet apart! These light-hearted cards guarantee a shift UP in conversation. From the mundane to the magical.
The 5 Why’s is a simple and effective technique for understanding the source of our fears and cognitive distortions (irrational beliefs) one why at a time.
Exploring the Unconscious Mind
An analytic (below the surface) strategy originating in the psychoanalytic theories of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.
Awareness is the first step to enhancing vitality.
The goal is to identify the source of energy leaks and peaks.
Where to start?
My recent interview on FM 105.9 The Region was designed to help people become more conscious of what depletes their energy and what lifts them up.
Rather than focusing on time, which is finite, I suggested to radio host Candace Sampson that we turn our attention to energy management, which in turn expands the amount of time we have.
Because when we feel energized, we can do twice as much in half the time.
Tip #1: Debits and Credits (Energy Audit) Daily Tracking System of Who and What Depletes You
Tip#2: Put a Time Limit on Negativity (Stove Timer) Conscious awareness of how much time with friends and family is spent on complaining (draining) versus solutions (energizing).
Tip #3: Energy is Everywhere (Combat Boots Anchoring Exercise) Energetic grounding rituals before interacting online.
*All 3 tips described in detail in both a) the August 20 energy video above and b) the extended September 1 podcast interview below.
Reflection Questions:
How do you manage your energy throughout the day?
Is energy something you consciously pay attention to?
What is your energy level on a scale of 1-10 right now?
The goal is to discover if angry thoughts, actions, or emotions are serving a purpose.
Is anger helping or hurting?
Why Anger?
Perhaps anger allows someone to speak up, say no, set a boundary, or bond with friends.
And if this is the case, the goal of psychology coaching is to help clients replace confrontations (for example) with more effective communication patterns.
PSYCHOLOGY HOMEWORK
Anger → Awareness
First: Set aside time to journal thoughts and emotions about “hot topics”. This allows for a cooling off period and a chance for self reflection and integration.
Second: Plan a mutually beneficial time to discuss anger triggers and solutions with friends and family.
This 2-step communication technique results in safe, open, and engaging conversations that move both relationships and actions forward. Win Win!
Reflection Questions
What Purpose Does Anger Serve in Your Life? Gains versus Losses?
Does It Strengthen or Deplete You?
Does Anger Move You Further Away from Your Dreams or Closer to Your Dreams?
What In Your Life Needs To Change?
Do You Need More Effective Ways of Coping with Frustration and/or Loss?
Once you understand the underlying purpose anger serves in your life, you’re ready for the next stage in the change process:
While others in your life say no without a second thought.
Is this confusing and at times upsetting for you?
Are you hard on yourself because of this discrepancy between yourself and others?
You may be interested to discover that Saying No is not a one size fits all.
Join me in my virtual psychology classroom as I share one factor that explains why some people have more difficulty saying no and holding boundaries than others — Your Personality.
❤️ Feelers take things more personally than thinkers.
Often causing feelers to say YES on the outside when on the inside their intuition is telling them to SAY NO.
Result = Mixed Messages + Unnecessary Stress
Thinkers
By contrast, individuals who are left brain dominant (thinkers on the Myers Briggs scale) are more straightforward and logical in their response to requests from friends and coworkers.
Consequently, thinkers do not focus to the same extent on the emotions of “the requesters” in the same way that feelers (eg., ENFJ’s) on the on the Myers Briggs do.
💡 Saying no comes naturally to thinkers.
Thinkers know what they want and use analytics + logic not the emotions of the person in front of them as their guiding force.
In today’s psychology class, we discussed how important it is to empower friends, family, and clients going through difficult times.
And how even if we’re an expert in psychology, medicine, or business – it does not make us the master of someone else’s life.
Together we explored strength based techniques for uplifting and encouraging others in conversation and in daily life.
Acknowledging that we still have so much left to learn about friends and family.
And the only way to do this is to create an inviting listening space between ourselves and the people we meet to be themselves.
Next Steps
Helpful tips for enhancing conversations with clients and family members can be found in the June article in The Drive Magazine (click here) and in the psychology video below —
The Story Behind the Story
This post was inspired by my sister Noelle.
“When my sister was 19, she had a brain aneurysm. Every day since, she has struggled to maintain her independence and financial security.
Despite her trauma, Noelle continues to thrive in unexpected and beautiful ways. She never gives up, no matter what comes her way. Over the years, I have discovered the difference it makes when I support Noelle from her perspective, rather than dictating what she needs.”
I recently had the opportunity to be interviewed on the Lemon Soul Podcast by an engaging and bright young woman named Sierra Parr.
It was one of the most rewarding projects I have worked on and I hope you find the same value in listening to the podcast as I had co-creating it with Ms. Parr.
Very honoured to sit down with Dr. Andrea Dinardo this week and divulge all my lemon soul questions with her. A true testament to her work as a psychologist and now psychology professor, this episode is FULL of good advice! With a deeper insight into many of our mental health struggles and the science behind how our brain is working. Furthermore diving into Dr. Dinardo’s personal life as she uncovers her fundamental inspiration for everything she does in life, her sister.
From psychologist to psychology professor!
How to motivate students!
Why connection is important. Compassion fatigue
The givers & the takers Setting boundaries for others and ourselves.
Thriving Under Pressure! Failure as Feedback! Are we socialized to care?
How to train your brain
Challenge, Control, & Commitment Honour your pain!
B r e a t h i n g s p a c e ! The universe box Claiming your prize GET MOVING!
I hope this podcast interview inspires you to take the road less traveled this week.
The one you have been waiting to take for days, months, perhaps years.
So many people in this world are struggling with what to do with their lives.
An existential struggle that did not exist 100 years ago when jobs were more clearly defined.
Which is why it is essential to explore life purpose in many different ways.
PURPOSE 🆚 JOB
We must not confuse life purpose with occupation.
My occupation = Psychology Professor.
My life purpose is to lift people up and help them feel better.
Something I can do on weekends, at work, with friends, in my community, and well into my retirement years.
Our occupation transpires 9-5. Our life purpose unfolds 24/7.
Life Purpose Discussions – Everywhere!
The topic of finding one’s life purpose was an active discussion on social media (see screen shot below) and in psychology class (link to video) this week.
Social Media: What’s my gift?
This is how I walked a fellow instagrammer through the process of (re)discovering their life purpose:
HUMAN BEING 🆚 HUMAN DOING
Life purpose is a way of being.
A way of living and giving.
It is all encompassing.
Who we are is our life purpose.
We are 1 in 7.5 billion.
What makes us different also makes us indispensable.
The world needs our unique kind of wonderful.
No more waiting. No more searching.
Our life purpose is now.
A daily mission. Big and small.
Supporting others and sharing our gift.
We have purpose because we are alive.
Breath by breath. Step by step.
We are the dominos.
I hope you enjoy thisvideo message on life purpose too.
Reflection Questions:
When do you feel most alive and in flow?
How is your life purpose different or the same as your occupation?
If you could do any one thing for the rest of your life, and not worry about money, what would that be?
In what ways did you feel ‘odd‘ or cast out when you were younger, only to realize later in life that your ‘differences‘ were your greatest strengths and sources of happiness?
What unique, one-of-a-kind gift will you share with the world today?
We are all worthy – not because of what we do – but because of who we are. 🌷
What if your doctor prescribed dancing as a fitness activity instead of time on a treadmill or at the gymnasium. Would you be more likely to follow through if exercise was fun and uplifting?
This doctor’s prescription for today:
Dancing!
Which is why I love the commercial below.
It’s a great reminder that getting healthy doesn’t have to be arduous.
It can be so much fun!
“Families who dance together stay healthy together.”
Dance inspires me to stand up, shake it off, and bust a move. 🎉💃
“When my sister was 19, she had a brain aneurysm. Every day since, she has struggled to maintain her independence and financial security.
Stop fighting. Start flowing.
