Listening heals more hearts than talking ever will.
In my early thirties I was going through a particularly tough time in my life.
A trifecta of life events where every pillar in my world came tumbling down.
Out of all the sadness, the times that I remember the most were the small joys and simple pleasures with my family and friends.
No matter how complicated and messy life became, it was their unwavering support that pulled me through.
“Just being there” is more powerful than most people realize.
Afternoons with my Dad walking down country roads. Weekends with my Mom at the dollar store. Sundays with my big sister at Tim Hortons.
Surprise phone calls from my two brothers. Relaxing with old friends in their cozy homes — long past the time and energy they initially had for me.
The best kind of love is simple. It creates a safe space to lose yourself and find yourself all over again. No words necessary.
Listening heals more hearts than talking ever will.
Related Post: It’s ok to not be ok.
Can’t overestimate the benefits of a safe space. Helping someone create or find ones is one of the best gifts you can offer.
Yes! I speak of mental health often in the classroom and students always ask the same question: How can I support a friend?
My answer is to remind them that they’re not the experts in MH but they do know how to listen. “Just be there.” is enough. Full mindful presence is enough. Compassion heals.
I’d love to have a chance to do that. 🙂 It’s so important
You can. And you will. 😊
Agreed Andrea. Listening is far more helpful. 🙂
And I have no doubt that you are an excellent listener Brad.
All your time being in nature teaches you well. 🌿💚
Listening is a lost art form. What has happened to society? It seems like in today’s society it’s all about having a voice, getting heard, being the center of attention – where did it get so far from being a good “support” person or loyal friend?
I will go out of my way these day, particularly at work, to provide a good ear. Sometimes I will not even say a word, even if I think the person has it all wrong. I have built a ton of trust and respect by just being an ear.
“Be the change you want to see.” This Jai you model well.
Listening, usually without responses and never judging, is often employed by therapists.
I have learned to listen actively while participating passively, by saying “Well.” “Really?” “No kidding?” “Wow.” “Ain’t that somethin’?” “I hear you.”
For condolence, a presence is all that’s required.
My late friend Chuy put it this way:
“All my life I’ve been told ‘Thunder can’t hurt you.’, but that never stopped me from being terrified by it. Spare people such senseless jabber. Hold them, and tell them “I’m right here.”. It is truly the only solace you can provide.”
I’m right here..
“I’m right here.”
The most beautiful words spoken by your friend Chuy.
Compassion at its’ core.
These words summed up his spirit.
One of the greatest inspirations in my life.
On Chuy’s behalf, thanks Doc.
I am so touched by your post, Andrea, that I am speechless.
But I have to type to encourage you with how powerful a message that was 😉
Thank you Gail. Rarely do I speak (or write) of my own vulnerable experiences. It feels good knowing it was received from my heart to yours. ♥️
I could see myself in every scenario you mentioned. Because I have had those experiences… and those people… the good listeners… and I miss them a great deal. Thanks for letting me linger in the memories. Better than any medication is a hope of being.
I wish WordPress had a ❤ instead of just a star to like a post!
This is so important, and many people think they need to find the right words to comfort someone in a time of sadness or mourning. Just being there to listen is so much more important.
Thanks for the reminder of this!
Such kind words. Thank you for reaffirming the choice to share my vulnerability. I felt heard and listened to simply by your reply. 🌺
It is through these difficult times we find out who really cares about us is simply there, unjudging and regardless.
Yes Terre. The ones that loved me — loved me even more.
And the ones that didn’t are many years long gone.
Thank God. 😇
This whole process of losing people in the process can be bittersweet or even agonizing. But agreed, better off in the end.
So true so true… It just takes a few important people in our life keep us going through the rough patches that seem never ending.
And in the never ending rough patches we become strength to others in their rough patch. We are forced to listen, learn and change (well most of us, but not all of have the capacity to change).
A beautiful heartfelt post. Thanks for sharing.
Preach beautiful. Preach!
I’m right there with you!
Team Love. ♥️
Eek… didnt mean to preach..
I meant preach in the most wonderful of ways!
Like a “high 5” from you to me!
All good. 🌺
High 5 back to you!
Reblogged this on the portfolio – in progress and commented:
Such a strong, yet simple message. Thank you Andrea.
I appreciate you sharing my post with your readers Connie.
Really important lesson here. Shared on my site!
Thanks for sharing with yor readers! 😊
Listening heals more hearts than talking ever will. So very true Andrea. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities. It so helps others. 😙
So beautiful! I especially like, “The best kind of love is simple.” I have found this to be so true.
Thank you Michele! ♥️
For your reflection & for your kind words.
I love this..a great support system is beautiful and yes to its ok to not be ok now and then..thats been a lesson for me this year.
Thank you for sharing Kerri Elizabeth. Your reflections on this post and how it relates to your life right now helps us all.
We’re all searching for peace and joy. Different roads. Same destination. Compassion is the bridge that gets us there. 🌿
Thank you Dr. ANDREA I so appreciate you taking time to write. And so true. It seems different roads, different paths, all leading to the same place. I heard Lisa Nichols say: In the end the garbage man will be buried next to the CEO. We are all worthy of compassion, success and our dreams, we all meet in the end. Were we not so afraid of dying, were we not so afraid we won’t be remembered. The path is beautiful.
As a keen observer of life, I have noticed something that deeply concerns me. People do not know how to listen anymore or if they do listen it is very little. All this attention and focus on a phone or a tablet, constantly reading, in my humble opinion, is weakening the listening portion of our brains. What you don’t use you lose. Your blog is so tremendously heart moving. I have a huge smile on my face to know oh yes! There is another encourager out there! Thank you! 👏👏👏 ….PS It is empowering to reveal our own life stories as we weave the elixir of encouragement. 😊
Thank you so much Amy. Your heartfelt words affirms my own philosophy of life. Technology is a poor substitute for presence. We need each other. In person. Full on engagement.
AGREED! I refuse to bend my knee to technology and I will beat my own drum interacting with others until my last breath! As I’m sure you will too!! 💕🌹💕