What is within your control?

Locus of Control is a key ingredient in both stress hardiness and mental resilience.

Knowing the difference between what is within your control and sphere of influence and what to let go of and surrender is a daily process and wellness habit.

What is within your control?

This was a question I actively explored over 2 days with 600 high school students in Windsor, Ontario during my thriving under pressure presentation.

PSYCHOLOGY HOMEWORK

Make a list of things that are beyond your control. Areas of your life that drain your energy, motivation, and passion for life.

Next, make a list of moments and situations that lift you up. Areas where you create impact. Focus on those areas of your life today. Surrender the rest.

You Can’t Add More to Your Life Without First Letting Go

Video: What is within your control?

Put a Time Limit on Negativity

Original Source: The Drive Magazine

Time and Energy Management

When I was a kid, my mom set the egg timer for almost everything we did.

Whether it was how long we spent doing our homework, weeding the garden, watching television, or complaining about life’s challenges.

1. Passing versus Permanent Difficulties

Setting a time limit helped us understand that nothing lasts forever, good or bad.

This was especially important when we felt helpless over things we did not have control over, including chores we did not want to do.

2. Energy and Emotional Awareness

The egg timer principle can also be applied to how often we feel negative versus positive throughout the day.

Venting our negative emotions feels good in the moment, but when it goes on too long, the costs outweigh the benefits.

Too often we complain about stressors for hours beyond the momentary challenge.

Leaving little time in the day for appreciation, wonder, and gratitude.

Then one day we wake up and realize that life is too short to be all negative, all the time.

Interview with Candace Sampson on energy management 

3. Respecting Other People’s Boundaries

Setting time limits taught us to respect how our words and actions impact others.

We learned the importance of asking permission before sharing our problems and difficulties.

Boundaries go both ways, and few people have the capacity to listen seven days of the week.

Interview with Arms Bumanlag on relationship boundaries

4. Timer Motivation Technique

To this day I set a timer on the microwave or my cellphone.

A simple, yet effective way to motivate myself through tedious tasks and become more mindful of time itself.

Final Thoughts

Negativity is to be expected. It’s part of the human experience. The question is: how long will you stay there?

Share your challenges. Share your obstacles. Share your difficulties. But also leave room for what’s good in your life.

Joy needs room to breathe. And so do you.

Psychology Articles in The Drive Magazine 

Free Your Soul

Soul Reflections

⚜️ What do you need to LET GO of to feel a sense well-being? 

⚜️ Who and what do you no longer want to be OBLIGATED to?

⚜️ If you had only one year to live, what five things would you STOP doing?

⚜️ What JOY do you wish you had more TIME for?

Breathe In & Listen

⚜️ Take a LONG DEEP BREATH and meditate on your answers.

⚜️ You will be surprised at what your SOUL has to say.

You Get One Life

⚜️ Make it yours.

Tomorrow Is Promised to No One

Free Your Soul

Video of Post: Click Here

Face Everything and Rise

Fight or Flight Threat Response

Every time we feel threatened (threat is the fundamental definition of stress) our first instinct is to “fight or flight“.

This perpetual “fight or flight” response loop eventually creates a host of secondary problems, above and beyond, the original stressor.

It does not matter how we attempt to “control” a stressful situation – physically, verbally, or by running away from it.

Eventually, a repetitive “fight or flight” response cycle takes a significant toll on our bodies.

Is There a Better Way?

Be Gentle With Yourself

Tune into Your Body. Your Breath. This Moment in Time.

Consciously

Choose Courage over Fear

  • FEAR -> Forget Everything And Run
  • FEAR -> Face Everything And Rise

Strengths First

The acronym Face Everything And Rise reminds us that the many strengths within us will always be greater than the perceived threats and stress outside us.

The key is to first discover and then embrace each and every one of our divine gifts. Within us. And all around us.

Stand Your Sacred Ground

The mantra Stand Your Sacred Ground inspires us to stand still, take a deep breath, and trust that being yourself is enough.

No Fight. No Flight. No Fear.

Simply holding your ground is enough.

Courage is grace under pressure.

Ernest Hemingway

Honour Your Limits

Today’s Reminder That You Are Human

Honour Your Limits.

In every area of your life.

It’s not a race.

It’s a lifetime.

Pace Yourself

The world needs what you have to give — long-term.

In every area of your life.

It’s not a race.

It’s a lifetime.

Helpful Resource:
Energy Awareness and Management

5 Mindfulness Techniques

Our point of power is always in the present moment.

1. Be Here Now

Stop

Take a breath

Observe

Proceed

2. Create Space

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our freedom.” Viktor Frankl

3. Find Your Flow

In psychology, flow, also known as being in the zone, is the mental state where a person is fully immersed in the moment. Flow often occurs during sports and creative activities such as writing, painting, and teaching. In this state, people often report enhanced well-being, focus, and joy.

4. Commune with Nature

Nature has the capacity of making us become one with the universe. Look at a tree, a flower, a plant. How still they are, how deeply rooted in just being. When you look at a tree and perceive its stillness, you become still yourself.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Practice Loving Kindness

“Be kind to yourself. And let your kindness flood the world.” Pema Chödrön

Enjoy Daily

Energy Awareness and Management

What we give energy to impacts everything.

Thoughts. Emotions. Actions. People.

Some drain. Others invigorate.

Awareness is the first step to enhancing vitality.

The goal is to identify the source of energy leaks and peaks.

Where to start?

My recent interview on FM 105.9 The Region was designed to help people become more conscious of what depletes their energy and what lifts them up.

A health psychology practice that benefits mood, motivation, and productivity.

Because when we feel energized, we can do twice as much in half the time.

Rather than focusing on time, which is finite, I suggested to radio host Candace Sampson that we turn our attention to energy management, which in turn expands the amount of time we have.

Watch Interview:

What She Said Talk on FM 105.9 The Region

3 Energy Management Tips

Tip #1: Debits and Credits
(Energy Audit)
Daily Tracking System of Who and What Depletes You
Tip #2: Put a Time Limit on Negativity
(Stove Timer)
Conscious awareness of how much time with friends and family is spent on complaining (draining) versus solutions (energizing).
Tip #3: Energy is Everywhere
(Combat Boots Anchoring Exercise)
Energetic grounding rituals before interacting online.
*All 3 tips described in detail in both a) the August 20 energy video above and b) the extended September 1 podcast interview below.

Reflection Questions:

  1. How do you manage your energy throughout the day?
  2. Is energy something you consciously pay attention to?
  3. What is your energy level on a scale of 1-10 right now?
  4. What and who drains you?
  5. What and who energizes you?
Video of Blog Post: Click Here 

Rethink Time in COVID-19

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I find the perception of time fascinating.

Everyone experiences time differently.

Because time truly is relative.

Changing from situation to situation.

For example:

Time perception also varies from person to person.

For example:

Type A versus Type B

Time Defines Us

Taken one step further, time defines who we are, and ultimately who we become.

How we live our days is how we live our lives.

Moments → Hours → Days → Months → Lifetimes

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Mindful Time Management

Which is why the more conscious and aware we become about how we spend and prioritize our time, the more meaningful and satisfying our lives will become.

Time is Money Video

Concrete Examples of Time Usage

Rethink Time

Identify 5 ways you spend 100 units (dollars) of time each day. (As illustrated in the video)

  • For example: gardening (20 units), reading (20 units), writing (20 units), cooking (20 units), complaining (20 units)

Compare and contrast your “money time sheet” with family and friends.

When does time slow down for you? When does time speed up for you?

  • Do you lose “track” of time easily?
  • Is time something you consciously pay attention to?

Are you more influenced by external measures of time?

  • Or an internal “sense” of time?

internal clock.

Has your use of time changed since COVID?

Has your perception of time changed with age?

  • If so how?

The trouble is, you think you have time.

Jack Kornfield

Watch Video of Blog Post → Click Here

How to Set a Time Limit on Negativity: Psychology Videos

In the following videos, I share simple techniques for enhancing time and energy with positive psychology.

Takeaway

Pay attention to how you spend time and energy today.

Joy needs room to breathe. And so do you.

Psychology Tips for Managing Negativity

In the following videos, I share simple techniques for enhancing time and energy with positive psychology

Takeaway

Pay attention to how you spend time and energy today.

Joy needs room to breathe. And so do you.