“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our freedom.” Viktor Frankl
3. Find Your Flow
In psychology, flow, also known as being in the zone, is the mental state where a person is fully immersed in the moment. Flow often occurs during sports and creative activities such as writing, painting, and teaching. In this state, people often report enhanced well-being, focus, and joy.
4. Commune with Nature
“Nature has the capacity of making us become one with the universe. Look at a tree, a flower, a plant. How still they are, how deeply rooted in just being. When you look at a tree and perceive its stillness, you become still yourself.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Practice Loving Kindness
“Be kind to yourself. And let your kindness flood the world.” Pema Chödrön
Recently, I was invited to do a Leadership Training and Development Workshop at a local kickboxing club.
The ultimate stress release.
This is where I go to cool my jets and find my joy. So, I was more than excited to take the leadership team’s mental fitness up to the next level!
From surviving to thriving.
During the mental fitness training session, I discussed how the 3 C’s of Thriving Under Pressure from my TEDx Talk could enhance the performance and well-being of the Kersey Kickbox Team.
Commitment – Challenge – Control
Using personality assessment, team mapping, and real-life examples, I harnessed the team’s many strengths to benefit both the club’s membership and the trainers themselves.
This post was inspired by a stressful situation that I couldn’t let go of, long beyond its solution. No matter how hard I tried. Day in day out. The worry would reappear. Then someone close to me suggested “I shed the stress”. And a lightbulb went off. Each time the repetitive thought appeared, I imagined a tree shedding its leaves. A golden leaf for every anxious thought. This visualization process made all the difference. And so did writing about it. 📝🍂
If you had a magic wand, what would you ask to disappear in your life right now?
What would you say good-bye to?
Once and for all.
It could be an emotion. Or a thought.
A relationship. Or a job.
A place or a thing.
Stress management is a shedding process ℘ Not an acquisition project
It’s time to let go of what drains you.
Let go of what holds you back.
Let go of what keeps you down.
It could be a mindset. Or a memory.
A situation. Or an attitude.
Write it down. Shout it out.
Stress management is a shedding process ℘Not a holding pattern
It’s time to let go of what weighs you down.
Release it to the universe.
Declare your freedom.
Vow to move on and beyond.
Once and for all.
Stress management is a shedding process ℘ Not an endurance test
I was thinking about time tonight. It’s like a never ending circle that starts and stops at the same place. A perpetual loop heightened on a Sunday night.
And the only way to slow it down is to breathe in each moment. To notice each ephemeral hour. To rest gently in the arms of time.
The one word I hear repeatedly from students this time of year is drowning.
Drowning in bills. Drowning in midterms. Drowning in research.
Not a pleasant thought. And definitely not energizing.
A sinking feeling that takes student motivation from 100 to 0 in an instant.
By thought alone.
Empowering Lessons.
How can we help students to feel more empowered in the midst of winter weather, too many midterms, and not enough time.
Transforming Stressors.
We meet students where they’re at. By embracing that stressful, drowning thought and transforming it into a peaceful, floating feeling. By helping students feel safe and supported. In and out of the classroom.
Trusting the Flow.
We remind students of their resilience. We show them how far they’ve come. We encourage them to flow with the moment instead of fighting against the current. Then and only then can the focused learning begin.
I love questions like this because they encourage me to dig deep, reflect, and imagine new ways of perceiving stress.
Stress Thresholds
Tipping points and thresholds are often used synonymously in the literature. Especially when discussing economic, historical, and ecological phenomenon.
That said, there is a clear distinction between thresholds and tipping points in psychological applications.
Thresholds are more individual (unique to each person), while tipping points are more universal (shared by the majority).
Which is why I see each person’s stress response as more of a stress threshold than a tipping point.
Thresholds vary from person to person (e.g., Type A vs. Type B), situation to situation (e.g., Work vs. Personal), and are based on individual strengths, challenges, and personal history.
See diagram above to help understand how thresholds affect your individual stress response. This graphic also depicts why a certain level of stress (below threshold) can be good for you.
Assess when you cross the threshold from your optimal stress zone (eustress) into your overload stress zone (distress).
Situational Stress, Anxiety, and Thresholds
We may be good at some things, but we are not great at everything.
For example, the more challenging academic work is for me (high stress threshold) the more I flourish. Mostly because this is my area of expertise.
While this is not the case with other areas of my life (low stress threshold) and thus I tend to react (too quickly) when under pressure in certain personal situations.
In addition to overall stress response patterns, thresholds differ from one situation to the next.
Situational fluctuations in thresholds reflect our strengths, challenges, and personal preferences.
Finally, I believe that our ability to cope and thrive under pressure is a lifelong practice. Something that is never mastered – only strengthened.
And the more we learn about life and ourselves, the higher our thresholds will become. As the majority of our stress is beating ourselves up – long after the stressor is gone.
3 C’s of Thriving Under Pressure
Reflection Questions About Stress
How does your stress threshold differ from others?
Compare your personal stress threshold to family members, friends, coworkers.
Are you the most high strung of your siblings?
Are you the most carefree teacher in the school?
In what situations is your stress threshold higher vs. lower?
Compare your situational stress threshold across multiple settings.
When do you stress out at work?
Is it only during public presentations?
In contrast, when are you more relaxed relaxed and easy going?
Are you more relaxed during independent work?
What are the benefits of stress and pressure in your life?
The miracle (of this moment) was that I was so wrapped up in the busyness of my day that I did not wake up to the fact that today was #CampDay. (A big deal for Canadians.)
It wasn’t until I began searching for what I was grateful for (in this moment in time) that I woke up to the vibrant coloured balloons and bold inscription on my Timmies coffee cup.
It wasn’t until I went looking for (and expecting) miracles that I realized I was surrounded by one. 💙
Miracles are everywhere.
What do you see?
At this moment in time.
What are you grateful for? Right in front of you.
Miracles are everywhere.
They will set you free.
What miracle did you discover?
Right here. Right now.
What miracle did you find – that had been there all along?
That moment in the day when you realize “you’ve arrived”.
And the most interesting part is that you haven’t gone anywhere.
Instead, you finally come home to the present moment.
The here and now. The sweet spot.
No where else to be. But here and now.
Right Here. Right Now.
This picture is from a retreat I did with one of my best friends nine years ago. The speaker asked each participant to share when they felt most at peace.
Each participant shared a different story. From when their newborn baby finally slept through the night to when they finally received their promotion at work to when their boyfriend finally proposed.
My answer was (unexpectedly) simple. I shared that I felt most at peace in that very moment. “No were else to be. But here and now.”
Wide Awake to Everything.
I had finally found my sweet spot. A place where “all is well” no matter the circumstances. A place I had been before. But failed to recognize.
A place positive psychologists call flow, and alternatively, mindfulness. A sweet spot that sparkles. Lights up. Expands. Stands still. Speeds up. And flows..
