3 Ways to Bounce Forward

The idea we have for our life rarely matches up with the life we end up with.

Plan A is fantasy. Plan B is reality.

Growth is not a straight line.

Which is often a blessing in disguise.

Yet something we seldom realize in the thick of life.

How do we bridge the gap between expectations and reality?

How do we move on from what was to what will be?

3 Ways to Bounce Forward

1. Celebrate All You Have Overcome

Honour the trials and tribulations you have been through already.

Take pride in how far you have come.

All of it preparing you for what’s happening now.

For it is in our dark times that we discover our light. And it is in our pain that we find our power.

In the video below, I share the hard lessons I learned early on as a young psychologist experiencing burnout and compassion fatigue.

And how it laid the foundation for my work in resilience and positive psychology as a psychology professor and speaker.

When we learn how to become resilient, we learn how to embrace the broad spectrum of the human experience.

Jaeda DeWalt

2. Normalize Failure and Defeat

No one begins their journey at the top of the mountain.

We all have to earn our way up.

A universal human experience of try, fail, learn, repeat.

Ultimately understanding that failure is not bad, it is an opportunity to build character and strength.

In this video and article I describe all the failures that helped me discover who I was and what I was destined to become.

Failure introduced me to myself!

Some paths cannot be discovered without getting lost.

Erol Ozan

3. Adopt a Growth Mindset

Stay open to everything!

Openness shifts our mindset from fixed to growth.

One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to move on from what you cannot change.

Mantras and Affirmations

How we talk to ourselves matters tremendously. Especially during difficult times.

Re-imagine stressful moments as growth moments. Moving you one step closer to your dreams.

In this video I share my self-talk in the eye of the storm.

Chanting “I am expanding” as the rain falls.

Trust Your Journey

Stop Shrinking Yourself to Places You’ve Outgrown

Furaha Joyce

You are enough, just as you are.

You are enough, just as you are.💕

Mirror Exercise: Waking Up with Love

Emotional Freedom Technique for Social Anxiety & Imaginary Audience

DrAndreaDinardo.com

Have you ever felt like you’re being watched? 

Judged and scrutinized.

Like all eyes are on you and every potential error you make?

Everyone experiences this phenomenon from time to time, especially when trying out something for the first time.

Think back to the first time you gave a dinner party, swung a golf club, wrote a college exam, or posted your first blog online.
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Social Anxiety and Heightened Experiences

Individuals with social anxiety experience this sense of being watched (and thought about) significantly more than the average person.

Independent of skills and expertise.

Why is this the case?

The Imaginary Audience

One potential explanation is a psychological phenomenon called imaginary audience experienced frequently in adolescence.

  • A concept first introduced by social psychologists David Elkind and Erik Erikson in the 1960’s.

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Think back to how easily embarrassed you were as a teenager.

  • If you wore the “wrong shirt” to school, it felt like everyone was gossiping about you and your entire social life would end as a result.

Resulting in perpetual self-consciousness, distorted views of how others saw you, causing in a tendency to conform for fear of sticking out.

  • Limiting your freedom to express outside the norm for fear of collective banishment and reprisal.

What does the research say?

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Using the Imaginary Audience Scale as a Measure of Social Anxiety in Young Adults

Two studies explored imaginary audience phenomenon among college students.

Imaginary audience behavior was found to be related to measures of social anxiety, self perception, and personality.

Furthermore, imaginary audience scores were more strongly related to anxiety than abstract reasoning.

These results suggest that imaginary audience experiences that persist into early adulthood have more to do with social anxiety than with cognitive development.

Original Source: Click Here

DrAndreaDinardo.com
Simple Things on Repeat

The next time you imagine you are being watched, talked about, or judged by others, remember that imaginary audience IS AN ILLUSION heightened by social media, physiology (eg., lack of sleep), and overthinking.

  • When in truth, people are so focused on themselves (and their phones), that there is a 99% chance that no one cares what you are up to or how you are performing.

This is a very good thing!

CARPE DIEM

Today’s Freedom Mantra

Live like nobody’s watching. Love like nobody’s watching. Succeed  like nobody’s watching. Fail like nobody’s watching. Write like nobody’s watching!

Video of Post ⇒ Click Here

Uplifting Mantras for Uncertain Times.

Life lived backwards makes perfect sense. 

You finally understand WHY the job, the partner, the degree, the house, the friendship, the ______ didn’t work out. 

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BUT what about in the “here and now”?

How do we make the leap of faith during the darkest of days?

MANTRAS mantras mantras. 

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Find a phrase that moves you …

t h r o u g h ..

UP AND OVER…

into a place of trust and belief.

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Respect

The

Process

Breathe and RECEIVE

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Your journey is unfolding in the most magical and mysterious of ways.

Spread Your Wings 🦋

What if I fall … oh my darling … what if you F L Y..”

Related: Optimism Bootcamp Workshop

How we talk to ourselves matters.

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How we talk to ourselves matters tremendously.

Particularly in the eye of the storm.

Having a “go to” mantra in times of stress helps.

Especially in the uncomfortable (agonizing) moments between stress and strength.

Video of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here

A mantra that has helped me over the years is imagining myself:

g r o w i n g + e x p a n d i n g

during the dark times.

Chanting “I am expanding” as the rain falls.

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Today I wish the same for you.

May you see the blessing in every storm. 

Expanding you.

Preparing you. 

For the next level of your destiny.🎈

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Helpful Tips: Optimism Bootcamp

You hold the key.

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Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.

Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.

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Awareness empowers.

Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.

Slowly bring yourself back to this moment.

Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.

Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!

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Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.

Positive change begins within.

Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself. 

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Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.

You hold the key.

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Originally published on March 1 2017

What you seek is seeking you.

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As we head into the weekend, may we all be reminded of the importance of rest in striving for success.

If only for a moment.

An hour or a day.

Be still and let your dreams find you.

“What you seek is seeking you”.

Breathe. Believe. Receive.

You hold the key. 🔑

What’s your mantra?

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This is my mantra.

I write it on my bathroom mirror. I post it on my refrigerator door. I tape it to my office wall. I speak of it every time I teach.

These 4 words remind me to focus on what’s good, what’s working, what’s infinitely possible. Even (especially) when everything is going wrong.

Focus on the good.

Because if I can find one good thing in the course of a day, I have found my reason to live, to love, and to lead.

Sometimes the blessings are obvious. Sometimes they’re hidden. Sometimes it’s simply breathing. Other times “it’s the moments that take my breath away”.

Mantras wake us up.

Mantras work because they wake us up. Snap us out of it. They carry us from the perpetual loop of our worries to the equanimity of present time.

For we all need a gentle nudge in the right direction. A loving reminder to come back to reality.

Or we’ll all be too busy looking down that we miss the beauty of what’s right in front of us. Life itself. 💙

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What’s your mantra?

Related Post: Happiness in one word.

Positivity first.

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My job description as a psychology professor includes this quote.  Because first you foster peace and positivity. Then you teach. 🍎

Related Post: Let peace begin with me.

Your assignment.

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You were born to inspire others.

To show them the way.

In good times. In bad times.

And every moment in between.

Quietly. Privately. Boldly. Courageously.

You were born to inspire others.

To show them the way.

Related: Mindset changes everything.

Faith.

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Trust the process of your life.

What looks like the end could be a whole new beginning.

You just can’t see it yet.

Rise and Shine.

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Be who you were meant to be. Shine your light for the whole world to see.

🏹  Rise UP and Shine 🌞 

Related Post - Trust the music.

Make room for destiny

Are you ready to move on but are reluctant to let something go?

Letting go is not giving up.

Letting go is not giving in.

When you let go you make space for something better.

When you let go you generate energy needed for moving forward.

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Close your eyes. Clear your heart.

Breathe.

Let go of what no longer serves you.

Let go of what weighs you down.

Release.

In doing so, you make room for destiny.

Your highest purpose.  Your greatest calling.

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Your ultimate joy!

Rise above.

Today I lift my eyes to the sunshine.

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No matter the weather. ♥️

Related Post: You hold the key.

We were made to thrive.

Unless someone is going through a major life tragedy, I rarely, if ever, lean in and listen to someone’s day-to-day hassles.

Instead, I choose to give energy to their strengths not their struggles. To their light not their shadows. To their purpose not their pain.

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Because I know deep down in my heart that each challenge makes us stronger, each failure makes us wiser, and each daily stressor reminds us that we are alive!

Related Post: I believe in you.

The peace you’ve been searching for.

 Bring yourself back to the present moment.

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One long deep breath at a time.

Herein lies the peace you’ve been searching for.

All day long.

Related Post: Just Breathe.

Let peace begin with me.

So much happens in the course of a day that is beyond our control. There are 100 ways to respond. And only 1 way that feels right.

Overslept. Choose peace.

Ran out of coffee. Choose peace.

 Stuck in traffic. Choose peace.

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Missed a deadline. Choose peace.

Technology overload. Choose peace.

Nonstop meetings. Choose peace.

Bossy coworker. Choose peace.

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Burnt dinner. Choose peace.

Argument with spouse. Choose peace.

Children acting up. Choose peace.

Unable to sleep. Choose peace. 

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Let peace begin with me.🌷

Helpful Video: Eckhart Tolle's Inner Peace Exercise (3 min)

The Art of Allowing.

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Today vow to allow life to happen on its own terms, not your own. Sometimes your greatest power is in letting things go.

You hold the key.

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Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.

Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.

img_0364

Awareness empowers.

Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.

Slowly bring yourself back to this moment.

Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.

Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!

img_0808

Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.

Positive change begins within.

Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself. 

img_0802

Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.

You hold the key.

FEAR: Face Everything And Rise

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FEAR ->Forget Everything And Run.

Each time we feel threatened (threat is the fundamental definition of stress) our first instinct is to “fight or flight“. PUFF UP or Shrink.

This perpetual “fight or flight” response loop eventually creates a host of secondary problems, above and beyond, the original stressor (or oppressor).

It does not matter how we attempt to “control” a stressful situation – physically, verbally, or by running away from it.

Eventually, a repetitivefight or flight” response cycle will take a significant physical and psychological toll.

IS THERE A BETTER WAY ?

FEAR ->Face Everything And Rise.

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Strengths First. 

The acronym Face Everything And Rise reminds us that the many strengths within us will always be greater than the perceived threats (stress) outside of us.

The key is to first discover and then embrace, each and every one of our divine gifts. Within us. And all around us.

Stand Your Sacred Ground.

The mantra Stand Your Sacred Ground inspires us to stand still, take a deep breath, and trust that being yourself is enough.

Simply holding your own ground is enough.

No fight. No flight. No Fear. Only love.

There will always be critics.

Use their words as motivation.

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A glimpse of my psychology lecture on student motivation and success.

The world needs your unique kind of wonderful. So don’t let the critics get you down. Focus on your dreams. Not their doubt. Use their words as fuel for your success and empowerment. The sun always rises. And so will you. ☀️

Related Post: Face it - you're strong!

My wish for you today.

Treat yourself to kindness.imageAll day long.💛💫

Focus is everything.

100 Distractions. 1 Goal.

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Focus 0n the outcome. Not the obstacles.