Positive Psychology & Stress Resilience
It’s in the middle of a challenge where we need positive energy the most.
So let this be a gentle, encouraging voice reminding you that “You didn’t come this far, to only come this far”.
And that one day it will all make sense.
All the pressure will be worth it.
You are resilient.
You are strong.
You are a diamond in the making.
You sparkle.
You shine.
I see it.
And one day you will too. 💎
TEDx Playlist: Diamonds from Pressure
But we have to look UP to see it.
OPEN our minds to BELIEVE it.
The next time you see a 30 km, 40 km, or even 100 km sign — take it as an opportunity to visualize where (and who) you want to be at that age.
Additionally, use each “sign” as instant reflection time for contemplating: 1) what you need to do more of and 2) what you need to let go of to get there.
This is my hope every time we meet.
And every time I teach.
No matter how brief or long our interaction.
I want to leave you feeling brighter, lighter, more confident.
The bonus is — when your energy rises, so does mine.
Which is why I will always keep your vibes in mind.
When your day brightens, so does mine. 💫
Click on TEDx Video → Thriving Under Pressure
A friend of mine recently returned home from vacation to find his newly constructed house flooded.
The feelings of helplessness that followed were magnified by the story he was telling himself on repeat. That he was an idiot. Naive. A loser. Stupid for not knowing better.
This was something completely beyond his control. Yet there he was battling Mother Nature head on.
Making himself entirely responsible for the deluge of rain. All powerful. Yet completely powerless. Imprisoned by his thoughts alone.
He and his wife had only lived in their new home for 18 months. A dream house built for retirement.
Every aspect of the design painstakingly conceived. Which only amplified his despair.
But in that moment, the story in his mind was filled with self-accusation and punishment. Second guessing on repeat.
The loop in his head based on the assumption that he was all-mighty. At the epicentre of the universe. Fully in charge of Mother Nature and her actions.
This is what happens when we lose control of external circumstances. We attempt to control it internally.
Logically, he knew that it was not the end of the world. That there were far worse things that could have happened and have happened in his life.
But in times of panic, our emotional brain (the amygdala) hijacks our thinking brain and we can no longer think rationally.
And that’s ok. Because in order to heal, we must first bear witness to our pain. Only then can we move on and beyond.
It has been four days since the flood and thank goodness the overwhelming feelings of helplessness have subsided for my friend.
Time heals. And so does a wife’s love. The support of neighbours. And a mom’s embrace.
It happened. He is strengthened. He will thrive.
Now when he passes the construction zone in his house, instead of chastising himself, he thinks of how lucky he is to have a basement renovation just 18 months after moving in. Same basement. Different narrative.
I have the pleasure of starting each day with my husband John.
Each morning begins at 6am with an hour of coffee talk weekends included.
No alarm clock necessary.
Having something as wonderful as hot coffee and good conversation to look forward to each day is its own wake up call.
This morning I asked John to share why he thought he was born.
Deep talk, I know.
But that’s just how life rolls when you’re married to a psychologist.
John’s answer: “To make one person’s life better that day.”
To which I replied: “Purpose achieved.” (He makes the best coffee!)
This conversation got me thinking about how important it is to live our purpose in short 24 hour segments. Too long a timeline and we feel lost and overwhelmed.
Name the purpose. Claim the day. Leave the details up to the universe.
Who. What. Where. When. How. Are spontaneous.
Simply be on the lookout for one opportunity to be on purpose for one day.
1 person. 1 purpose. 1 day.
Related Post: Your strengths light my way.
Need help embracing change but don’t know where to start? In this 8 minute CBC-TV interview below, I share 5 stategies for embracing change.
Visit my YouTube Channel for all my positive psychology videos.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
