SAYING NO Are you a feeler or a thinker?

On October 11, 2019October 17, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Coping Strategies, Emotional Awareness, Health Psychology, Personality Assessment, resources, Strengths Assessment, Stress Management, Video39 Comments

Do you have a difficult time saying no?

While others in your life say no without a second thought.

Is this confusing and at times upsetting for you?

Are you hard on yourself because of this discrepancy between yourself and others?

You may be interested to discover that Saying No is not a one size fits all.

Join me in my virtual psychology classroom as I share one factor that explains why some people have more difficulty saying no and holding boundaries than others — Your Personality.

Feelers vs. Thinkers

Feelers

In this video I describe how individuals who are overly sensitive to the feelings of others (HSPs, Empaths, ENFJs) often focus on the needs of others to the exclusion of themselves.

Video: SAYING NO Are you a feeler or a thinker?

feeler

❤️ Feelers take things more personally than thinkers.

Often causing feelers to say YES on the outside when on the inside their intuition is telling them to SAY NO.

Result = Mixed Messages + Unnecessary Stress

Thinkers

By contrast, individuals who are left brain dominant (thinkers on the Myers Briggs scale) are more straightforward and logical in their response to requests from friends and coworkers.

Consequently, thinkers do not focus to the same extent on the emotions of “the requesters” in the same way that feelers (eg., ENFJ’s) on the on the Myers Briggs do.

💡 Saying no comes naturally to thinkers.

Thinkers know what they want and use analytics + logic not the emotions of the person in front of them as their guiding force.

Learning from each other

On the plus side:

Feelers and thinkers make incredible teammates.

At work and in life.

Balance is everything. 🧠 + ❤️

brain-heart-balance-pix

Additional Information

Let me know in comments below how your personality impacts different areas of your life, including saying No.

Please share techniques you’ve developed for setting boundaries too!

I’d love to know!

Dr. D 📚

One Final Note:

In Addition to Personality and Individual Differences

Situation Also Impacts Our Ability to Say NO + Stand Firm

Video: Saying No is Easier When You Feel Safe

5 Ways to Focus Better | The Drive Magazine

On October 1, 2019October 11, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Attention, cognitive psychology, Mindfulness, resources, Self Reflection, The Drive Magazine, Training and Development, Video14 Comments

Why Can’t I Remember Anything?

One of the most frequent questions I was asked as a practicing psychologist and more recently as a psychology professor is why can’t I remember anything.

The problem is most likely a focusing issue — not a memory issue.

An important distinction between memory and attention that I share my Fall Focus Article in The Drive Magazine. And again, in more detail, in the focus video below.

In the video in particular, I describe how the Atkinson–Shiffrin memory model (see model below) differentiates between sensory, short-term, and long-term memory.

And the important implications this model has for one’s ability to focus and remember information long term.

You can’t do big things if you’re distracted by small things.

Link to Fall Focus Article

5 Ways to Focus Better

Issue 124. The Drive Magazine.

Click Here: thedrivemagazine.com/posts/5-ways-to-focus-better

Click Here: YouTube Understanding Memory

Thanks for your attention!

Dr. D 📚

Optimism Bootcamp for Health & Happiness.

On August 19, 2019September 6, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn health, Hope, Inspiration, Optimism, Positive Psychology, Public Speaking, Resilience, resources, Training and Development, Video

Hope Lights The Way

Nathalie Begin author of the Gutsy Feeling Blog invited me to give a positive psychology workshop called Optimism Bootcamp at a Symposium for Crohn’s & Colitis Canada.

The audience was filled a very special group of people. Individuals that have been battling the chronic condition of Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) their whole lives.

Click Here to join the workshop

What’s IBD?

Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) describes a group of conditions, the two main forms of which are Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis. IBD also includes indeterminate colitis.

Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis are diseases that inflame the lining of the GI (gastrointestinal) tract and disrupt your body’s ability to digest food, absorb nutrition, and eliminate waste in a healthy manner.

Source: Chrohn’s and Colitis Canada

Health Warriors

Individuals with chronic health problems such as IBD often feel a sense of helplessness and disempowerment over their bodies.

Which is why teaching concrete strategies for focusing on what’s within one’s control (beliefs and attitudes; deep breathing; present moment awareness) and letting go of what’s not (waiting times; IBD diagnosis; doctor availability) is so important.

Believing you can is half the battle.

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Optimism Research

Research in health psychology shows that optimism and having hope in one’s future has a significant impact on whether patients follow through on medical advice.

Optimism has also been found to improve the overall quality of life, well-being, and happiness of cancer patients.

Click Here for Research on Health, Hope, and Optimism

“Hope changes everything. It transforms pessimism into optimism. It changes winter into summer, darkness into dawn, descent into ascent, barrenness into creativity, agony into joy.” Daisaku Ikeda

Optimism Can Be Learned

The good news is that optimism is a skill that can be learned!

Optimism / pessimism are not fixed personality traits that someone is lucky (or unlucky) enough to be born with.
Optimism / pessimism are states (not traits) that are malleable and open to change.
Optimism / pessimism are attributional styles that can be taught and reinforced over time.

Additional insight on how our minds work

Excerpt from Optimism Article:

Using Attribution Theory, I can tell a lot about someone by the way they interpret the events that happen in their lives, particularly the explanatory style they use in analyzing setbacks versus successes.

The pessimist perceives failures as personal, permanent, and pervasive, and thus has difficulty moving beyond setbacks. They often get lost in a recurrent loop of negativity.

In contrast, optimists see setbacks as universal. to everyone, temporary in time, and limited to one or two areas of their lives.

Source: Dr. Andrea Dinardo, The Drive Magazine

Click Here to Watch Optimism Video Workshop

Hope you enjoy the workshop and have fun doing the interactive exercises!

Dr. D 💖☀️

Body Image: Don’t Believe Everything You Think 💭

On August 14, 2019August 14, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn cognitive psychology, Emotional Awareness, empowerment, Health Psychology, Mental Health, Mindfulness, resources, Video13 Comments

Perception versus Reality

I was motivated to write this post and film the accompanying video after witnessing so many students overwrought by feelings of inadequacy regarding their body image and self worth.

There was no doubt that in reality they were healthy and whole, but in their minds, they believed the opposite.

The Antidote

The following is a set of questions that challenge irrational perceptions and cognitive distortions using reality itself.

The inquiry is not limited to body image and weight and thus can be applied in any areas where you find yourself caught in a repetitive thought loop.

Reality Testing Homework:

How do I know if this thought is accurate?

What evidence do I have to support this thought or belief?

How can I test my assumptions/beliefs to find out if they’re accurate?

Do I have a trusted friend whom I can check out these thoughts with?

Is this thought helpful?

Are there other ways that I can think about this or myself?

Is it really in my control?

Am I overgeneralizing?

Am I making assumptions?

What would I say to a friend in this situation?

Can I look for “shades of gray”?

Am I assuming the worst?

Am I holding myself to an unreasonable standard?

Are there exceptions to these absolutes (always, never)?

Am I making this personal when it isn’t?

Source: Challenging Cognitive Distortions

Related Research & Articles

1. Past visual experiences weigh in on body size estimation. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-18418-3#Sec2

2. The image in the mirror and the number on the scale: Weight, Weight Perceptions, and Adolescent Depressive Symptoms. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3610322/

3. Perception versus reality of body weight: Which matters most. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032713002905

4. How social media contributes to body dysmorphia. https://www.thelexingtonline.com/blog/2018/5/7/how-social-media-contributes-to-body-dysmorphic-behaviors

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

What are your perceptual filters?

Rose coloured? Perfectionist? Overachiever?

How often do you TEST reality?

Do you believe everything you think?

Click Here to Watch Video

Psychology on YouTube: Helping people live a better life.

On August 10, 2019August 24, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn community, psychology, Psychology Class, Public Speaking, resources, Teaching, Video

Psychology for Everyone

My number one intention for becoming a psychologist and psychology professor has always been to help people live a better life, no matter their life circumstances.

And since there are only so many hours in a day, I’m always looking for new ways to reach and teach as many people as I can. All at once, if possible.

Which is why I created a Psychology Tips Playlist on my YouTube Channel that I contribute to weekly.

101 psychology videos for you to enjoy! ⤵️

Psychology Tips: Video Playlist

Fun Learning Opportunity

The purpose of my Psychology YouTube Channel is to share the key lessons of my 3 hour psychology lectures in 3 to 5 minutes.

Giving people far and wide access to virtual classes, especially those who don’t have the money or means to an undergraduate education.

I know how busy everyone is. And I love a good challenge!

I also include videos of psychology workshops and keynote speeches.

Be sure to visit my psychology playlist weekly for new videos!
Better yet: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

Wishing you a day filled with love & learning! 📕💙

Radio Interview: Why People Refuse to Change Their Minds

On July 27, 2019October 6, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Change and Transformation, cognitive psychology, Interview, Personal Growth, resources, Social Psychology, Transformative Change19 Comments

Interview Now Available 📻☀️

I begin 6 min 24 sec into radio segment: http://www.iheartradio.ca/am800/audio/sunday-morning-live-dr-andrea-dinardo-1.9561424?mode=Article

JULY 28 RADIO SHOW TOPIC:

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

Why facts don’t change our minds

I would love your questions and reflections on the topic of why people refuse to change their minds and/or adjust their stance on a political, personal, relationship, or health issue — despite overwhelming factual evidence contrary to their personal opinions.

Watch video preview — click here

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

1. Have you ever refused to listen to contradictory viewpoints? Why?

2. What type of persuasive techniques does it take to change your mind?

3. Why do you think people prefer comforting lies over unpleasant truths?

Cognitive dissonance can be reduced in one of three ways:

1) Change one or more of the attitudes, behavior, beliefs, etc., to make the relationship between the two elements a consonant one.

2) Acquire new information that outweighs the dissonant beliefs.

3) Reduce the importance of the cognitions (i.e., beliefs, attitudes).

McLeod, S. A. (2018, Feb 05). Cognitive dissonance.

Interview Now Available 📻☀️

I begin 6 min 24 sec into radio segment: http://www.iheartradio.ca/am800/audio/sunday-morning-live-dr-andrea-dinardo-1.9561424?mode=Article

Please share your ideas too!

Empowering Conversations.

On June 20, 2019June 26, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn empowerment, Psychology Class, resources, Strengths, Student Engagement, The Drive Magazine, Video21 Comments

In today’s psychology class, we discussed how important it is to empower friends, family, and clients going through difficult times.

And how even if we’re an expert in psychology, medicine, or business – it does not make us the master of someone else’s life.

Together we explored strength based techniques for uplifting and encouraging others in conversation and in daily life.

Acknowledging that we still have so much left to learn about friends and family.

And the only way to do this is to create an inviting listening space between ourselves and the people we meet.

Next Steps

Helpful tips for enhancing conversations with clients and family members can be found in the June article in The Drive Magazine (click here) and in the psychology video below —

The Story Behind the Story

This post was inspired by my sister Noelle.

“When my sister was 19, she had a brain aneurysm. Every day since, she has struggled to maintain her independence and financial security.

Despite her trauma, Noelle continues to thrive in unexpected and beautiful ways. She never gives up, no matter what comes her way. Over the years, I have discovered the difference it makes when I support Noelle from her perspective, rather than dictating what she needs.”

Excerpt from The Drive Magazine | Issue 122, p. 49

EMPOWERING

Someone with a Brain Injury

Written with the help of my sister ❤️

Manage energy not time. Positive energy multiplies.

On April 1, 2019May 18, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Awareness, Health Psychology, Mindfulness, Optimal Performance, Personal Growth, resources, Self Reflection, Video38 Comments

Awareness is the first step to increasing vitality.

What you give energy to matters tremendously.

Thoughts. Emotions. Actions. People.

Some drain. Others invigorate.

Where to start?

I made a video to help people become more conscious of what depletes their energy and what lifts them up.

Including the Energy Audit a simple and easy-to-use technique for monitoring the ebb and flow of energy that we all experience throughout the day.

Heightened awareness and monitoring is especially important for people who struggle with low energy and lack of time. Helping them to identify the source of their energy leaks and peaks.

Energy Audit Technique:

Time versus Energy Management

Rather than focusing on time, which is finite, I suggest that we turn our attention to energy management, which in turn expands the amount of time we have.

Because when we feel energized, we can do twice as much in half the time.

Positive Energy Multiplies

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Takeaway

Your energy is your currency.

Spend it well.

Invest it wisely.

Reflection Questions:

How do you manage your energy throughout the day?
Is energy something you consciously pay attention to?
What is your energy level on a scale of 1-10 right now?
What (who) energizes you? What (who) drains you?
Will you try the ENERGY AUDIT technique I share in the video?

This was my first video blog ever! (Filmed July 2018) I was equal parts terrified and excited. Hence the breathlessness. Upside: I had a blast filming it

Lemon Soul Podcast: Thriving Under Pressure.

On March 25, 2019April 16, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn community, courage, empowerment, Gratitude, Happiness, Health Psychology, Hope, Inspiration, Interview, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Positive Psychology, Resilience, resources23 Comments

The Psychology of Wellness

I recently had the opportunity to be interviewed on the Lemon Soul Podcast by an engaging and bright young woman named Sierra Parr.

It was one of the most rewarding projects I have worked on and I hope you find the same value in listening to the podcast as I had co-creating it with Ms. Parr.

What is a Lemon Soul? 🍋

A lemon soul is someone who has been sweetened by the sour parts of life. Resulting in the most beautiful soul of all – “The Lemon Soul”.

The Lemon Soul Experience 🍋

Sierra’s podcast questions are timely, thought-provoking, and well-organized.

With equal parts practicality, spirituality, and science. Wrapped up in a captivating and compassionate interview style.

So much so, that I revealed parts of my life that I have never shared publicly before.

Take a listen and let me know what resonates with you!

Lemon Soul Podcast: Episode 15

Tap on Image Below and Press Play

Thriving Under Pressure: Psychology of Mental Wellness

1. Listen on SoundCloud: https://m.soundcloud.com/lemonsoulpodcast/015-dr-andrea-dinardo-thriving-under-pressure

2. Listen on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/lemon-soul/id1386504193?mt=2&i=1000432857445

SHOW NOTES FROM LEMON SOUL PODCAST 🍋

Very honoured to sit down with Dr. Andrea Dinardo this week and divulge all my lemon soul questions with her. A true testament to her work as a psychologist and now psychology professor, this episode is FULL of good advice! With a deeper insight into many of our mental health struggles and the science behind how our brain is working. Furthermore diving into Dr. Dinardo’s personal life as she uncovers her fundamental inspiration for everything she does in life, her sister.

237C6D4F-44A6-4BEF-BAD3-5BD9A7FEEBA0 — Lemon Soul Podcast on iTunes

Topics covered on the podcast:

From psychologist to psychology professor!
How to motivate students!
Why connection is important.
Compassion fatigue
The givers & the takers
Setting boundaries for others and ourselves.
Thriving Under Pressure!
Failure as Feedback!
Are we socialized to care?
How to train your brain
Challenge, Control, & Commitment
Honour your pain!
B r e a t h i n g s p a c e !
The universe box
Claiming your prize
GET MOVING!

I hope this podcast interview inspires you to take the road less traveled this week.

The one you have been waiting to take for days, months, perhaps years.

If not now, when?

Listen Here: Lemon Soul Podcast

What’s your love language?

On March 22, 2019March 25, 2019 By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Emotional Awareness, Happiness, health, Hope, Inspiration, Personal Growth, Psychology Class, Reflection Question, resources, Video34 Comments

How do you express your love?

What do you value most in a partner?

Love Lessons in the Classroom

In this week’s social psychology class, we talked about:

1) What we value in relationships.

2) Our 5 love languages.

3) The thought processes behind choosing a partner.

Video #1: Before Class Preparations

In video #1 I discuss the psychological theories and related life experiences that lay the foundation for this week’s social psychology class.

Love Lessons in Real Life

In video #2 below, I reflect on the lessons learned in this week’s psychology class and share insights on how to apply the love lessons in real life.

1) Including concrete ways of matching love values to your potential partner’s “tells”. Specifically, how to read your date’s nonverbal cues and behaviour.

2) And how to look for *concrete evidence* of love values, including honesty and thoughtfulness, in your date’s actions and words.

Video #2 : After Class Reflections

YOUR TURN

Let’s Talk about Love!

1. What is the one value you cherish most in a partner?

Examples:

trustworthiness – kindness – compassion – intelligence – humour – adventurousness – physical attractiveness – undivided attention

2. What is your preferred love language?

Examples:

Love Notes – Surprise Gifts – Helping – Quality Time – Cuddling

Please share in the comments!

I’d love to hear what you value in love

For more videos → YouTube Channel

You may be interested to discover that Saying No is not a one size fits all.

Feelers vs. Thinkers

Feelers

❤️ Feelers take things more personally than thinkers.

Thinkers

💡 Saying no comes naturally to thinkers.

Learning from each other

Feelers and thinkers make incredible teammates.

Balance is everything. 🧠 + ❤️

Additional Information

1. Right Brain versus Left Brain

2. Are you a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?

3. Learn About Myers Briggs Personality Profile

4. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

One Final Note:

Share this:

The problem is most likely a focusing issue — not a memory issue.

Link to Fall Focus Article

5 Ways to Focus Better

Issue 124. The Drive Magazine.

Click Here: thedrivemagazine.com/posts/5-ways-to-focus-better

Click Here: YouTube Understanding Memory

Share this:

Hope Lights The Way

What’s IBD?

Health Warriors

Believing you can is half the battle.

Optimism Research

Optimism Can Be Learned

Additional insight on how our minds work

Click Here to Watch Optimism Video Workshop

Share this:

Perception versus Reality

Reality Testing Homework:

Related Research & Articles

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

What are your perceptual filters?

How often do you TEST reality?

Click Here to Watch Video

Share this:

Psychology for Everyone

Psychology Tips: Video Playlist

Fun Learning Opportunity

Wishing you a day filled with love & learning! 📕💙

Share this:

Interview Now Available 📻☀️

JULY 28 RADIO SHOW TOPIC:

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Cognitive dissonance can be reduced in one of three ways:

Interview Now Available 📻☀️

Share this:

Next Steps

The Story Behind the Story

EMPOWERING

Someone with a Brain Injury

Share this:

Awareness is the first step to increasing vitality.

Where to start?

Energy Audit Technique:

Time versus Energy Management

Positive Energy Multiplies

Takeaway

Reflection Questions:

Share this:

Like this:

The Psychology of Wellness

The Lemon Soul Experience 🍋

Tap on Image Below and Press Play

Thriving Under Pressure: Psychology of Mental Wellness

SHOW NOTES FROM LEMON SOUL PODCAST 🍋

I hope this podcast interview inspires you to take the road less traveled this week.

If not now, when?

Share this:

Like this:

How do you express your love?

YOUR TURN

Let’s Talk about Love!

1. What is the one value you cherish most in a partner?

2. What is your preferred love language?

Please share in the comments!