⚜️ What do you need to LET GO of to feel a sense well-being?
⚜️ Who and what do you no longer want to be OBLIGATED to?
⚜️ If you had only one year to live, what five things would you STOP doing?
⚜️ What JOY do you wish you had more TIME for?
⚜️ Take a LONG DEEP BREATH and meditate on your answers.
⚜️ You will be surprised at what your SOUL has to say.
⚜️ Make it yours.
Video of Post: Click Here
That reminds you that you are not alone in this storm.
It may have been a personal pandemic, not a global one.
You have the courage, the mindset, the heart, the soul.
You Are Not Alone in This Storm
Video of Blog Post Click Here Broaden-and-Build: Click Here
Freedom doesn’t come from holding on.
Freedom comes from letting go.
Again and again and again.
Too often we are hard on ourselves for having to release the same thought, emotion, person, or situation over and over again.
When in fact this is how life goes.
Letting go and surrendering are an ongoing process. And as necessary for our mental health as eating is for our physical health.
We must eat three times a day. And sometimes we have to surrender (thirty) three times a day.
And that’s ok. That’s how life flows..
F R E E D O M
If you only had ONE YEAR to live:
What would you STOP doing?
THE CHOICE IS YOURS
Video of Blog Post: Click Here
This one simple sentence helps me to remember that tomorrow is a brand new day.
Illuminating the possibility that what looks like the end in that dark moment, could in fact be preparing me for a whole new destiny.
This video and blog post were inspired by a very dear friend of mine experiencing unexpected health problems.
And how during treatment she often says that it’s my positivity and upbeat nature that brings her to a higher place.
My friend knows what’s wrong.
I remind her of all that is right.”Together we rise.” 🙏☀️
What gives you hope during difficult times?
Video of Blog Post: Click Here
Motivation to make a change is as much about you, as the people all around you. And unfortunately, not everyone agrees with our decision to grow, change, and evolve. In whatever form it may take.
For when we change, we unknowingly push friends and family outside their comfort zone too. And that’s ok. The important thing to understand is that not everyone is going to support our choice to change. Something I learned personally.
My story
This post was inspired by my own journey of quitting drinking in 2005, motivated by three reasons:
1. Starting a family with my husband.
2. Improving my health.
3. Being a role model for my students
Unexpected Side Effects
What I did not expect was the pressure to keep drinking that came along with my decision to give up alcohol over a decade ago.
The pressure to remain the same.
The pressure to behave like everyone else.
A resistance to change from others that I did not foresee.
My students’ stories
— Peer Pressure and Alcohol Use in College
Students over the age of 19 have a choice when it comes to drinking alcohol.
A decision to drink or not drink that is often overshadowed by peer pressure and the widespread culture of risky drinking on and off Canadian campuses.
Too often students drink to “fit in, reduce stress, numb anxiety” (their words) because they know of no other way.
Excerpt from today’s class:
Class Discussion and Solutions
Which is why it’s more important than ever to open up the conversation of what it’s like to be a young person amongst the culture of alcohol use and abuse today.
A hot topic that stimulates honest and open debate in my classroom each year. Including remedies to the pressures of college that extend far beyond alcohol.
To listen to our discussion click here.
Your story
1. What motivates you to make a health change?
2. What de-motivates you?
3. Have you experienced pressure from others to continue unhealthy habits? To not change?
4. How do you stay true to your personal choices?
Rather than debate or argue your case.
Be still and hold your space.
Take a deep breath, and trust your choices.
Trust that being yourself is enough.
You get one life. Make it yours.
Video of Blog Post — Click Here
#internationalwomensday #rolemodel
Growing up my Mom, my mentor, and the first psychologist in our family, didn’t talk a lot about women’s empowerment.
— She lived it.
Today, and all days, I am grateful for a role model who began her journey from challenge to strength with incredible will and a heart of power.
A first time mother at 18 years old, the jumping off point for all that would unfold.
A single mom in her twenties.
One of few women working on our street.
Criticized openly for leaving her kids during the week and going back to graduate school in her 40s.
I lean in often for her wisdom, inquiring:
Her response:
“Sure it hurt, she says.”
”But my mission was always greater than my misery. And this is when I knew what I was truly meant to do.”
A teacher, a leader, and a mother who teaches me how to live with equal parts grace, fortitude, and tenderness.
Every chance WE get. 💃❤️💃
Who inspires you today?
There are two ways of looking at failure.
Failure as FEEDBACK.
Failure as PUNISHMENT.
⊕⊕⊕⊕⊕
One energizes.
The other paralyzes.
I believe that failure is essential for success, at work and in our personal lives.
Failure lights our way to what we’re ultimately meant to do. Especially when we embrace it and consciously invite it into our lives. Pushing us past our comfort zones. Having the courage to take risks beyond our current circumstances.
Failure shows us what we’re good at, and equally what we are not skilled at. And how if we perceive failure as information (versus punishment) we will move on much more quickly to what we were born to do.
I believe so strongly in the benefits of failure that I “pitched” failure as feedback to the editors of The Drive Magazine. And they said yes!
A video overview of the February issue and links to online edition of the magazine.
MAGAZINE edition
For the rest of the story, pick up a copy of The DRIVE Magazine.ONLINE edition
My psychology article “Failure as FEEDBACK” is also available online: https://www.thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback
Related: Lean into loneliness | The Drive Magazine
Let them talk. Let them chatter. Let them say what they choose to say.
Because at the end of the day truth is truth.
Stop trying to convince anybody and everybody of anything and everything.
When the dust settles and the sun sets ..
No matter what happens today, know that in the end everything works out.
Trust me. I speak from experience.
My smile comes equally from a place of darkness and a place of light.
How would I ever know how good I have it today — if I hadn’t lived a life of challenge and adversity.
And the best part is that I get to revisit my twenties every single day.
A time where many of my life lessons were born.
Listening and learning with my psychology students on campus.
And staying in touch for years to come.
I will always be grateful for the tough times in my life — for this is where my strength lies.
I believe the same for you.
You are a diamond in the making.
This I know for sure. 💞💎
This blog post was created for all the students around the world writing final exams this week. Cheering them on! Encouraging them to not give up. This post is also meant for you – My Fellow Students of Life.
Related: I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past
This post was inspired by a stressful situation that I couldn’t let go of, long beyond its solution. No matter how hard I tried. Day in day out. The worry would reappear. Then someone close to me suggested “I shed the stress”. And a lightbulb went off. Each time the repetitive thought appeared, I imagined a tree shedding its leaves. A golden leaf for every anxious thought. This visualization process made all the difference. And so did writing about it. 📝🍂
What would you say good-bye to?
Once and for all.
It could be an emotion. Or a thought.
A relationship. Or a job.
A place or a thing.
It’s time to let go of what drains you.
Let go of what holds you back.
Let go of what keeps you down.
It could be a mindset. Or a memory.
A situation. Or an attitude.
Write it down. Shout it out.
It’s time to let go of what weighs you down.
Release it to the universe.
Declare your freedom.
Vow to move on and beyond.
Once and for all.
FEAR MAKES BAD DECISIONS was the “hot topic” during coffee talk today.
Hot enough to write today’s blog post.
Blog discussions are the next best thing to sharing a cup of coffee after all.
I hope this message speaks directly to your heart.
And reminds you that the still small voice within you always knows what to do.
The key is to get quiet enough to listen.
When it comes to decision-making we might not be able to change the PRESSURE from the OUTSIDE.
But we can always change it from the INSIDE.
Take your time.
Do not be pressured. Do not be rushed.
Take your own sweet time. Literally.
Each decision, each choice, is yours to make.
Big and small equally.
Take a breath.
Take a 48 hour pause.
Decisions made from fear often falter.
Decisions made from love prosper.
Trust that no matter what happens.
Today. Tomorrow. Two years from now.
Believe that what is meant to be will be.
Look it directly in the eye.
Fear exaggerates the truth.
Remember who you are.
You have faced this phantom before.
Understanding Fear: Identifying Cognitive Distortions
Overcoming Fear: Fixing Cognitive Distortions
Instead of seeing obstacles and stressors as taking you down.
Try perceiving challenges as taking you UP ↑
Again and again and again.
(You’ve been dumped.)
(You’ve failed.)
(You’ve been rejected.)
(You’ve been without money.)
Afraid of being _________?
(You’ve been _________.)
Remember – you have been here before.
You have more knowledge and experience than you recognize.
You have faced this fear before.
And you have thrived because of it.
(You may not realize it – but you have.)
And you have the power to kick this fear right to the curb.
Look it directly in the eye.
Fear exaggerates the truth.
Remember who you are.
You have faced this phantom before.
Understanding Fear: Identifying Cognitive Distortions
Overcoming Fear: Fixing Cognitive Distortions
Are you ready to move on but are reluctant to let something go?
Letting go is not giving in.
When you let go you generate energy needed for moving forward.
Close your eyes. Clear your heart.
Let go of what weighs you down.
Your highest purpose. Your greatest calling.
Some lessons happen over a lifetime.
Others happen in an instant.
Either way, the paradox of strength is that it develops though pain.
Each misfortune cultivates a renewed appreciation.
Each obstacle fosters a new level of perseverance.
Each sadness teaches a greater depth of compassion.
Each challenge harvests a new field of possibilities.
We must fall down to rise up.
Again and again and again.
Related Post: I've never met a strong person with an easy past.
Related Post: Stand your sacred ground.
Each time we feel threatened (threat is the fundamental definition of stress) our first instinct is to “fight or flight“. PUFF UP or Shrink. This perpetual “fight or flight” response loop eventually creates a host of secondary problems, above and beyond, the original stressor (or oppressor).
It does not matter how we attempt to “control” a stressful situation – physically, verbally, or by running away from it. Eventually, a repetitive “fight or flight” response cycle will take a significant physical and psychological toll.
When you learn to say no to something you no longer want to do, to people you no longer want to spend time with, to projects you no longer have time for, your world does not get smaller.
Each time you have the strength to say no to takers who drain your time, your energy, your resources, your patience – you create more space for each authentic, heartfelt, luminescent, unconditional, absolute YES!
Each time you have the courage to say no to people pleasing – you create more time (for the people, projects, and places that truly matter), more truth (about who you really are, and what you really want to do), more opportunities (to make a meaningful difference in this world), more freedom (to follow your dreams, your destiny, your calling), and ultimately, more genuine happiness to share with this great big, beautiful world.
This is your world. This is your life. This is your time to shine!
Externalize the problem and blame someone else for it.
OR
Take responsibility for the problem and search for a solution.
Click here to learn more about Locus of Control.
Related Research ⇒ The Effects of Guided Imagery on Anxiety
New beginnings. Fate. Destiny. And back again.
New beginnings. Full of fright. Hope. Trepidation. Exaltation. Panic. And back again.
New beginnings. Lost footing. Found fortune. Full moons. Rainy nights. Sun drenched days. And back again.
New beginnings. Rough and tumble. Joyful. Sadness. Overwhelm to underwhelm. And back again.
New beginnings. Misplaced dreams. Found sanctuary. Outstretched hands. Yearning heart. Radiant mornings. Restless nights. And back again.
New beginnings. Fate. Destiny. And back again..💫
Have faith in yourself. Trust in your instincts. Dare to move on & beyond. The universe is on your side. No more waiting. No more wondering. This is your time to decide.✨
Thriving Under Pressure 