Surrender is not giving up.
Surrender is not giving in.
It’s trusting in something bigger than yourself.
Slowly unfolding.
Something you can’t quite see.
Quietly expanding.
Behind the scenes.
How I Surrender: The God Box
Surrender
Category: Flow
Rethink Time in COVID-19
I find the perception of time fascinating.
Everyone experiences time differently.
Because time truly is relative.
Changing from situation to situation.
For example:
- Work Week vs. Vacation Week
- COVID vs. Pre-COVID
- Bored versus in Flow
For example:
- Teenager vs. Baby Boomer
- Good Health vs. Poor Health
- Type A Personality vs. Type B Personality
Time Defines Us
Taken one step further, time defines who we are, and ultimately who we become.
How we live our days is how we live our lives.
Moments → Hours → Days → Months → Lifetimes
Mindful Time Management
Which is why the more conscious and aware we become about how we spend and prioritize our time, the more meaningful and satisfying our lives will become.
Time is Money Video
Concrete Examples of Time Usage
Rethink Time
Identify 5 ways you spend 100 units (dollars) of time each day. (As illustrated in the video)
- For example: gardening (20 units), reading (20 units), writing (20 units), cooking (20 units), complaining (20 units)
Compare and contrast your “money time sheet” with family and friends.
- Do you lose “track” of time easily?
- Is time something you consciously pay attention to?
Are you more influenced by external measures of time?
- Or an internal “sense” of time?
Has your use of time changed since COVID?
Has your perception of time changed with age?
- If so how?
The trouble is, you think you have time.Jack Kornfield
Watch Video of Blog Post → Click Here
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Peace lives here.
Peace happens in moments.
Not days.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Hot coffee.
Cozy blankets.
Birds singing.
The sun rising.
Peace happens in moments.
Not days.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Savour the sunshine.
Taste every morsel.
Dance with abandon.
Stroll by the moonlight.
Peace happens in moments.
Not days.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Breathe deeply into this moment.
Peace lives here.
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Laughter is an instant vacation.
What’s your favourite stress reliever?
Laughter is mine.
We live in a world weighed down by disaster, debt, and divorce. So it’s no surprise that we’ve been conditioned to believe that tragedies require tragic mindsets.
That serious issues demand serious attitudes. That hardships necessitate hardened spirits.
What consumes your mind consumes your life.
Change your view.
Thankfully we also live in a world overflowing with abundance, joy, and love. Same world. But we can’t see the good when we’re overwhelmed by the bad.
From overwhelmed to OVERFLOWING.
Making the shift from stress to strength can happen in a number of ways.
Laughter = instant stress relief. Taking a long deep breath runs a close second.
Be kind to your mind.
Laughter breaks the panic spell. The not enough mindset. The woe is me attitude. The negativity downturn.
Laughter connects people in present time. Friends and strangers! Think of the last time you laughed out loud with a cashier in the grocery line. (For me, it was last night ;.)
Laughter is an instant vacation to a better place – without the travel bills!
Today’s challenge / opportunity:
Today’s challenge is to lighten up. To breathe deeply into what stresses you.
To leave room for grace. To respond with a light heart and an open mind. To dance a little dance. To laugh with friends. To nourish your soul.
Ultimately to remember who you were – before life weighed you down.
For it’s in our joy that we find our voice. It’s in our abundance that we embrace our authenticity.
It’s in our laughter that we save the day.
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You hold the key.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Awareness empowers.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Slowly bring yourself back to this moment.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.
Positive change begins within.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
You hold the key.
Originally published on March 1 2017
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Happiness in present time.
Our left brain lives in the past and the future.
Our right brain lives in the here and now.
One scrambles for solutions to problem after problem.
The other sinks into the present moment, trusting all is well.
Which side of the brain will you live on today?
I choose my right brain.
Right here. Right now.
Fully present.
Breathing it all in.
All is well.
“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.”
The inspiration for today’s post.
A walk around Blue Heron Lake.🍃
Related Post: Is Happiness a Choice?
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What are you ready to let go of?
This post was inspired by a stressful situation that I couldn’t let go of, long beyond its solution. No matter how hard I tried. Day in day out. The worry would reappear. Then someone close to me suggested “I shed the stress”. And a lightbulb went off. Each time the repetitive thought appeared, I imagined a tree shedding its leaves. A golden leaf for every anxious thought. This visualization process made all the difference. And so did writing about it. 📝🍂
If you had a magic wand, what would you ask to disappear in your life right now?
What would you say good-bye to?
Once and for all.
It could be an emotion. Or a thought.
A relationship. Or a job.
A place or a thing.
Stress management is a shedding process ℘ Not an acquisition project
It’s time to let go of what drains you.
Let go of what holds you back.
Let go of what keeps you down.
It could be a mindset. Or a memory.
A situation. Or an attitude.
Write it down. Shout it out.
Stress management is a shedding process ℘ Not a holding pattern
It’s time to let go of what weighs you down.
Release it to the universe.
Declare your freedom.
Vow to move on and beyond.
Once and for all.
Stress management is a shedding process ℘ Not an endurance test
Shed the stress. Let. It. Fall. 🍂
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What’s your mantra?
This is my mantra.
I write it on my bathroom mirror. I post it on my refrigerator door. I tape it to my office wall. I speak of it every time I teach.
These 4 words remind me to focus on what’s good, what’s working, what’s infinitely possible. Even (especially) when everything is going wrong.
Focus on the good.
Because if I can find one good thing in the course of a day, I have found my reason to live, to love, and to lead.
Sometimes the blessings are obvious. Sometimes they’re hidden. Sometimes it’s simply breathing. Other times “it’s the moments that take my breath away”.
Mantras wake us up.
Mantras work because they wake us up. Snap us out of it. They carry us from the perpetual loop of our worries to the equanimity of present time.
For we all need a gentle nudge in the right direction. A loving reminder to come back to reality.
Or we’ll all be too busy looking down that we miss the beauty of what’s right in front of us. Life itself. 💙
What’s your mantra?
Related Post: Happiness in one word.
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Breathing Space.
Look up ↑ Breathe ↑ Release
One quick glance to inner peace.
Related Post: Always Looking Up.
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Less fight. More serenity.
The next time you’re gearing up for another big fight with reality.
Morning Traffic
Office Politics
Loud Neighbours
Unpredictable Weather
Try rolling with it.
Giving up the fight.
Waving the white flag.
Surrendering to what is.
And always has been.
The upside.
You conserve energy for the joyful in your life.
The meaningful in your life.
The soulful in your life.
Including this very moment.
This is where your life SHINES.
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Lost and found.
Every morning and every night I visit my favourite place on Earth.
The great outdoors. 🌿
Where do you go to quiet your mind and free your soul?
Related Post: Taming your monkey mind.
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Better to bend than break
Flexibility is essential for resilience
When life changes direction, are you able to change with it?
Are you flexible and open to new experiences?
Are you able to break free from old patterns and habits?
Or do you struggle to adapt to anything new and different?
Flexibility and Resilience
At the beginning of my TEDx: Dr. Andrea Dinardo: Thriving Under Pressure | TED Talk I describe how the flexibility of palm trees helps them adapt and ultimately be strengthened by hurricanes.
Applying this Post in Everyday Life
“Do the opposite of what you normally do.”
- Wake up one hour earlier to enjoy some unexpected quiet time.
- Exercise at night instead of in the morning.
- Try gluten-free or vegan to support a dear friend.
- Swap your favourite hobby for something brand new.
- Sit in a different spot in the classroom than you’re used to.
- Drive a different, more scenic way home tonight.
- Meet three new people in your community this week.
- Trade television for library books for one month straight.
- Go to sleep on the opposite side of the bed.
- Spend the weekend silent and completely word free.
Change one routine today and open up to unforeseen freedom and opportunity.
CBC-TV Interview: https://youtu.be/rUWGr_GwzhM
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Relax your mind.
The most important thing in your life is your peace of mind.
Nurture it daily. Everything good flows from there. 🍂
Related Post: Taming Your Monkey Mind.
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Expanding time.
I was thinking about time tonight. It’s like a never ending circle that starts and stops at the same place. A perpetual loop heightened on a Sunday night.
And the only way to slow it down is to breathe in each moment. To notice each ephemeral hour. To rest gently in the arms of time.
Related Post: The Sweet Spot
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PODCAST Respecting the Process
Do you trust the process / evolution of your life?
Do you stir the pot before it boils? Do you open the oven before it bakes?
Or do you relax on the sofa trusting the recipe and the time it takes?
Not long ago, I was interviewed by Adam Rochon on the topic of transformational change.
During the podcast interview, Adam and I explored a different way of thinking about change.
A more uplifting and empowering take on transformation.
Adam and I discussed how the key to lasting change isn’t to push yourself harder.
The key to lasting change is to understand yourself better.
To accept yourself more. And to judge yourself less.
Trust the timing of your life.
Your good and bad habits did not develop overnight.
And neither does transformational change.
Ultimately to grow, we must trust, let go, and learn to respect the process.
Excerpt from my interview with Adam Rochon: “For me respecting the process in my own life and in all the people I’m blessed enough to meet, is to realize the process is so much bigger than I am. It is our destiny. It is the 100 years – if we are ever that lucky to live on this earth. Whatever we experience, good or bad, is just a day in the life and that we need to pay attention to where we are. When we get stressed out, overwhelmed and are going through a lot of changes, take a step back and realize that there are so many forces at work that are greater than we are – which is the process. When we Respect the Process everything just falls into place. It sounds simple, but you need to just let go of what you don’t have control over and be inspired by the process.” Episode #15: Transformational Change.
Click here for access to full podcast interview. 🦋
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Trust the music.
Stop expecting others to validate what you hear (see and feel).
The music is not “out there”.
The music is in you.
A beautiful melody that only you can hear.
Listen. Be still. Take a long deep breath.
Fear not who you are. Fear not what you hear.
You are the symphony.
Trust the music that is in you.
And dance a little freedom dance.
For all the world to see.
Related Post: I believe in you.
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You hold the key.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Awareness empowers.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Slowly bring yourself back to this moment.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.
Positive change begins within.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
You hold the key.
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Nature soothes my soul.
This photo was taken on one of my daily hikes up Blue Heron Hill.
One of my favourite places to go at the end of a long wintery day.
Each breath. Each step. Shifts me higher.
To a place of perfect peace. At one with the great big beautiful sky.
A divine connection. No words necessary. Heaven on earth indeed.
Related Post: Always looking up.
Where do you go to calm your mind and soothe your soul?
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Teaching Psychology with Enthusiasm
I love teaching about psychology as much as I love writing about psychology. And that’s a lot!
Psychology is my passion
Students First Is My Philosophy
Which is why I take every opportunity I have to support and encourage student success and development.
- Whether it be as a reference for college scholarships.
- Helping stressed out students thrive in the classroom.
- Writing psychology textbooks for students across Canada.
- Developing a blog geared to student resilience and empowerment.
Your Turn:
- What are you most excited about in life right now?
- How do you make your passion and purpose a daily priority?
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Writing in One Word.
In One Word: Describe how you feel when you write.
Writing makes me feel ALIVE!
For me, writing is all encompassing.
The words become the beat of my heart.
The words become the oxygen I breathe.
The words become all that I touch, feel, and see.
For me, writing is all encompassing.
I am the words. And the words are me.
How does writing make YOU feel?
Related Post: Happiness in One Word.
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What’s your stress threshold?
Recently, a fellow blogger asked an excellent question regarding tipping points and stress response.
They were curious to know if each of us has a tipping point when it comes to stress management.
And if so, how does it differ from person to person.
I love questions like this because they encourage me to dig deep, reflect, and imagine new ways of perceiving stress.
Stress Thresholds
Tipping points and thresholds are often used synonymously in the literature. Especially when discussing economic, historical, and ecological phenomenon.
That said, there is a clear distinction between thresholds and tipping points in psychological applications.
Thresholds are more individual (unique to each person), while tipping points are more universal (shared by the majority).
Which is why I see each person’s stress response as more of a stress threshold than a tipping point.
- Thresholds vary from person to person (e.g., Type A vs. Type B), situation to situation (e.g., Work vs. Personal), and are based on individual strengths, challenges, and personal history.
See diagram above to help understand how thresholds affect your individual stress response. This graphic also depicts why a certain level of stress (below threshold) can be good for you.
- Assess when you cross the threshold from your optimal stress zone (eustress) into your overload stress zone (distress).
Situational Stress, Anxiety, and Thresholds
We may be good at some things, but we are not great at everything.
For example, the more challenging academic work is for me (high stress threshold) the more I flourish. Mostly because this is my area of expertise.
While this is not the case with other areas of my life (low stress threshold) and thus I tend to react (too quickly) when under pressure in certain personal situations.
In addition to overall stress response patterns, thresholds differ from one situation to the next.
Situational fluctuations in thresholds reflect our strengths, challenges, and personal preferences.
I discuss the topic of situational stress and anxiety in more detail during my Mental Health Matters Interview with Dr. Garland.
From Negative to Positive Stress
Finally, I believe that our ability to cope and thrive under pressure is a lifelong practice. Something that is never mastered – only strengthened.
And the more we learn about life and ourselves, the higher our thresholds will become. As the majority of our stress is beating ourselves up – long after the stressor is gone.
3 C’s of Thriving Under Pressure
Reflection Questions About Stress
- How does your stress threshold differ from others?
- Compare your personal stress threshold to family members, friends, coworkers.
- Are you the most high strung of your siblings?
- Are you the most carefree teacher in the school?
- Compare your personal stress threshold to family members, friends, coworkers.
- In what situations is your stress threshold higher vs. lower?
- Compare your situational stress threshold across multiple settings.
- When do you stress out at work?
- Is it only during public presentations?
- In contrast, when are you more relaxed relaxed and easy going?
- Are you more relaxed during independent work?
- When do you stress out at work?
- Compare your situational stress threshold across multiple settings.
- What are the benefits of stress and pressure in your life?
- When has stress been good for you?
- e.g., motivating and energizing
- How has pressure helped you achieve your goals?
- When has stress been good for you?
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Hold on. Stay strong.
Trust that you are exactly where you need to be. Good or bad. High or low. East or west. Young or old. Be still. Have faith. Hold on. Stay strong. What you seek is seeking you.💙
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The Sweet Spot.
Nowhere else to be.
That moment in the day when you realize “you’ve arrived”.
And the most interesting part is that you haven’t gone anywhere.
Instead, you finally come home to the present moment.
The here and now. The sweet spot.
No where else to be. But here and now.
Right Here. Right Now.
This picture is from a retreat I did with one of my best friends nine years ago. The speaker asked each participant to share when they felt most at peace.
Each participant shared a different story. From when their newborn baby finally slept through the night to when they finally received their promotion at work to when their boyfriend finally proposed.
My answer was (unexpectedly) simple. I shared that I felt most at peace in that very moment. “No were else to be. But here and now.”
Wide Awake to Everything.
I had finally found my sweet spot. A place where “all is well” no matter the circumstances. A place I had been before. But failed to recognize.
A place positive psychologists call flow, and alternatively, mindfulness. A sweet spot that sparkles. Lights up. Expands. Stands still. Speeds up. And flows..
Running. Teaching. Encouraging. Writing. Laughing. Helping.
A sweetness I now easily recognize in the course of each day. That moment when I am wide awake to everything. To every sight. To every sound.
No judgements. No resistance. Simply accepting what is. And what will be.
