Surrender is not giving up.
Surrender is not giving in.
It’s trusting in something bigger than yourself.
Slowly unfolding.
Something you can’t quite see.
Quietly expanding.
Behind the scenes.
How I Surrender: The God Box
Surrender
Tag: Trust
What advice would you give your younger self?
Live Zoom Conference
At a recent leadership conference, student leaders from St. Clair College’s Student Representative Council SRC had the opportunity to ask questions live during the final portion of the virtual training event.
Ask Dr. D
The student leaders raised the reflection bar high during this discussion period.
One Question Stood Out The Most
Specifically:
What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?
In the video below, I share my answer.
“It All Works Out“
Even during COVID-19.
For the pandemic has not changed my optimistic perspective on life and learning.
If anything, COVID-19 has underscored my belief in posttraumatic growth and resilience.
For everybody.
Growth is the only evidence of life.
John Henry Newman
Video of Post: Click Here
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The Space Between No Longer and Not Yet
The time in between is a difficult time for all of us.
Myself included.
A super organized (type A) person like me becomes a little unhinged in the space in between.
But don’t we all?
Wondering if we still have what it takes.
Hoping we can still make a difference in the world when the pandemic ends.
Which is why I wrote this post today.
Highlighting the shared challenge we all face between the old and the new.
Change is a lifelong process.
Let yourself feel what you need to feel.
Take a breath. Enjoy some rest.
Give your monkey mind a break.
It’s ok to not be ok.
What comes also goes.
Honour the space in between.
Related Post: Divine Timing
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Stay Open to the Possibilities
Embrace Uncertainty
One of my favourite ways to energize before teaching psychology classes at St. Clair College is to summarize a theory in practical and concrete ways in the parking lot.
Literally! 🚘
I filmed this video 5 minutes before I was about to teach a lecture on personality and positive psychology in my liberal arts class.
Just a few weeks before all St. Clair College classes went fully online due to COVID-19.
In the video above, I talk about the connection between openness and happiness. Openness to experience is one of the Big 5 Personality traits – see figure below.
Why Openness?
The more open, adventurous, and flexible we are in our thinking (and being), the more likely we are to perceive ambiguity as a pathway to something new and exciting.
A whole new road, yet to be discovered.
Today’s Psychology Lesson
We never know what’s waiting on the other side of COVID uncertainty.
So let’s stay open to the possibilities.
Trust and believe in our shared journey.
Even if we can’t see the outcome.
Together in faith, anything is possible!
Video of Post ⇒ Click Here
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Delaying Gratification Doubles The Reward
Is it worth the wait?
Reflection Questions
1. Do you consider yourself a patient person, an impatient person, or an impulsive person? Give situational examples for each.
For example: You may be more patient at work, but not at home. You may be able to control your impulses when it comes to food, but not when it comes to yelling at your spouse or children.
2. Identify a time in your life where delayed gratification led to a superior outcome over immediate gratification.
For example: Saving money for a house versus buying impulse purchases on Cyber Monday. Working 2 jobs to pay for college tuition versus going out with friends every weekend night. Working out to strengthen your mental and physical health versus watching tv all day.
3. Which factors determine your ability to be patient in challenging situations?
For example: faith, trust, comfort, financial security, long-term vision, full stomach, good night’s sleep.
Inspiration for this Post
The Stanford marshmallow experiment was a study on delayed gratification in 1972 led by psychologist Walter Mischel, a professor at Stanford University.[1]
In this study, a child was offered a choice between one small but immediate reward, or two small rewards if they waited for period of time. During this time, the researcher left the room for about 15 minutes and then returned.
The reward was either a marshmallow or pretzel stick, depending on the child’s preference. In follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores,[2] educational attainment,[3] body mass index (BMI),[4] and other life measures.
Original Source: Click Here
Don’t forget to share your insights & reflections in the comments below!
Video of Blog Post → Click Here
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Happiness and Healing in Present Time.
You have the ability to make positive changes in your life.
Right here. Right now.
Don’t wait for “the perfect time” to transform your life.
NOW IS YOUR POWER.
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Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off.
What is meant for you
is coming for you
E X P A N S I O N
happens in the space in between
Trust & Believe
You got this!
Video: Fostering A Growth Mindset 🍃
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Uplifting Mantras for Uncertain Times.
Life lived backwards makes perfect sense.
You finally understand WHY the job, the partner, the degree, the house, the friendship, the ______ didn’t work out.
BUT what about in the “here and now”?
How do we make the leap of faith during the darkest of days?
MANTRAS mantras mantras.
Find a phrase that moves you …
t h r o u g h ..
UP AND OVER…
into a place of trust and belief.
Respect
The
Process
Breathe and RECEIVE
Your journey is unfolding in the most magical and mysterious of ways.
Spread Your Wings 🦋
“What if I fall … oh my darling … what if you F L Y..”
Related: Optimism Bootcamp Workshop
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EMPOWERING THOUGHTS
Choose the THOUGHTS that emPOWER you today.
It takes
one word
one thought
one mantra
to shift our mind
from pain to power.
What will your empowering thought be this week?
I’d love to know.
Share your WORD in comments below ⤵️
Related Post: Empowering Conversations
Thanks for visiting my psychology blog!
Dr. D 💖☀️
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Finding the light.
How do you start the day?
Do your morning routines lighten you up?
Or bring you down?
Early morning rituals spark the divine in me.
No matter the day. No matter the moment.
Angel cards, hot coffee, and mindfulness take me there.
Fueling my creativity. Illuminating my path. Shifting me higher.
Today’s Angel Reading — Click Here
Early morning rituals call forth the peace in me.
No matter the day. No matter the moment.
Angel cards, hot coffee, and mindfulness take me there.
In this sacred space I breathe in deep, let go, and freely release…
Early morning rituals affirm the courage in me.
For I have finally found the light in me.
Ready to share ☀️ with all that I meet.
Reflection Questions
How do you rediscover the light inside? What morning rituals shift you to a higher place?
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Peer Pressure and Alcohol: Stand Your Sacred Ground
The Social Side Effects of Change
Motivation to make a change is as much about you, as the people all around you. And unfortunately, not everyone agrees with our decision to grow, change, and evolve. In whatever form it may take.
“Being different isn’t a bad thing. It means you’re brave enough to be yourself“
For when we change, we unknowingly push friends and family outside their comfort zone too. And that’s ok. The important thing to understand is that not everyone is going to support our choice to change. Something I learned personally.
My story
This post was inspired by my own journey of quitting drinking in 2005, motivated by three reasons:
1. Starting a family with my husband.
2. Improving my health.
3. Being a role model for my students
Unexpected Side Effects
What I did not expect was the pressure to keep drinking that came along with my decision to give up alcohol over a decade ago.
The pressure to remain the same.
The pressure to behave like everyone else.
A resistance to change from others that I did not foresee.
My students’ stories
— Peer Pressure and Alcohol Use in College
Students over the age of 19 have a choice when it comes to drinking alcohol.
A decision to drink or not drink that is often overshadowed by peer pressure and the widespread culture of risky drinking on and off Canadian campuses.
Too often students drink to “fit in, reduce stress, numb anxiety” (their words) because they know of no other way.
Excerpt from today’s class:
Class Discussion and Solutions
Which is why it’s more important than ever to open up the conversation of what it’s like to be a young person amongst the culture of alcohol use and abuse today.
A hot topic that stimulates honest and open debate in my classroom each year. Including remedies to the pressures of college that extend far beyond alcohol.
To listen to our discussion click here.
Your story
1. What motivates you to make a health change?
2. What de-motivates you?
3. Have you experienced pressure from others to continue unhealthy habits? To not change?
4. How do you stay true to your personal choices?
Coping with Peer Pressure
Rather than debate or argue your case.
Be still and hold your space.
Take a deep breath, and trust your choices.
Trust that being yourself is enough.
You get one life. Make it yours.
Stand Your Sacred Ground.
Video of Blog Post — Click Here
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Breathe. Trust. Let go.
Trust that everything is working out as it should. In divine time. In divine order. For your highest good.
Video: Let Go and Flow
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How brightly you shine.
Remembering Who You Are
The first thing that goes when we are faced with a stressor of any kind is the memory of all we have overcome in years gone by.
Wake Up Call
Let this be your daily, weekly, hourly signpost of how wildly capable you are.
Truly. Incredibly. Strong.
And if you ever need more than this note, let me know. I will remind you how brightly you shine. 💎
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Empathic Listening: How Can I Support You?
How do you respond when a close friend shares a problem with you?
Are you a fixer or a listener?
If you’re anything like me, my first instinct is to fix the problem.
To try and save loved ones from adversity.
To rescue them.
To make them instantly feel better.
I suggest we do the opposite.
Instead of rushing in, we take a step back.
Ask them what they need.
Give their pain room to breathe.
In doing so, we validate the person and their experience.
Helping them stay true to who they are.
It’s ok to not be ok.
What comes – also goes.
Welcome it all.
Video of this post ⤴️
Come join my YouTube Channel too! 🎥🍿
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What you seek is seeking you.
As we head into the weekend, may we all be reminded of the importance of rest in striving for success.
If only for a moment.
An hour or a day.
Be still and let your dreams find you.
“What you seek is seeking you”.
Breathe. Believe. Receive.
You hold the key. 🔑
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Trust in the Divine Timing Of Your Life
FEAR MAKES BAD DECISIONS was the “hot topic” during coffee talk today.
Hot enough to write today’s blog post.
Blog discussions are the next best thing to sharing a cup of coffee after all.
I hope this message speaks directly to your heart.
And reminds you that the still small voice within you always knows what to do.
The key is to get quiet enough to listen.
Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.
When it comes to decision-making we might not be able to change the PRESSURE from the OUTSIDE.
But we can always change it from the INSIDE.
How?
Take your time.
Do not be pressured. Do not be rushed.
Take your own sweet time. Literally.
Slow down.
Each decision, each choice, is yours to make.
Big and small equally.
Take a breath.
Take a 48 hour pause.
Decisions made from fear often falter.
Decisions made from love prosper.
Trust and Believe.
Trust that no matter what happens.
Today. Tomorrow. Two years from now.
Believe that what is meant to be will be.
Trust in the Divine Timing Of Your Life
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Fear is an illusion.
Don’t be fooled by fear.
Look it directly in the eye.
Fear distorts reality.
Fear exaggerates the truth.
Step back. Take a pause.
Remember who you are.
You have overcome great adversity.
You have faced this phantom before.
This wolf is a mirage.
Only your strength, your courage, and your untapped powers are real.
Resources to help you break free from the illusion of fear:
Understanding Fear: Identifying Cognitive Distortions
Overcoming Fear: Fixing Cognitive Distortions
Repost from October 2017 — Click Here.
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Less fight. More serenity.
The next time you’re gearing up for another big fight with reality.
Morning Traffic
Office Politics
Loud Neighbours
Unpredictable Weather
Try rolling with it.
Giving up the fight.
Waving the white flag.
Surrendering to what is.
And always has been.
The upside.
You conserve energy for the joyful in your life.
The meaningful in your life.
The soulful in your life.
Including this very moment.
This is where your life SHINES.
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Your assignment.
You were born to inspire others.
To show them the way.
In good times. In bad times.
And every moment in between.
Quietly. Privately. Boldly. Courageously.
You were born to inspire others.
To show them the way.
Related: Mindset changes everything.
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Breathe and Receive.
When I’m struggling to get through a difficult day, I look to the trees for inspiration and refuge.
All they do is give.
And all we need to do is receive.
Again and again.
With every single breath.
And every single step.
Peace lives here.
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Mindset changes everything.
The Resilience Mindset
What we believe matters. As it’s our mindset that shapes our physiological and emotional response to stressful circumstances. Ultimately, determining our ability to bounce back after adversity.
For example, when a relationship ends, if we view it as a personal failure, from a place of blame and shame, we are less likely to try again. Afraid to risk the pain, reluctant to venture beyond our comfort zone.
“Obstacles do not block the path. They are the path.”
On the other hand, if we perceive the same breakup as an opportunity to learn. To begin again. To start over. Fresh. Renewed. We are more open to meeting someone new.
Today I am grateful for all of my relationship failures. For if it weren’t for the loss, the heartache, and the lessons, I never would met the wonderful man that I am married to today.
Trust the Process.
It was not easy at the time. Challenge rarely is. But if we just keep our eyes to the sky, and trust that no matter what we are going through, it will all be worth it in the end.
I hope you find comfort in your discomfort. And beauty in the stars.
Related Post: Lay down your burdens.
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Better to bend than break
Flexibility is essential for resilience
When life changes direction, are you able to change with it?
Are you flexible and open to new experiences?
Are you able to break free from old patterns and habits?
Or do you struggle to adapt to anything new and different?
Flexibility and Resilience
At the beginning of my TEDx: Dr. Andrea Dinardo: Thriving Under Pressure | TED Talk I describe how the flexibility of palm trees helps them adapt and ultimately be strengthened by hurricanes.
Applying this Post in Everyday Life
“Do the opposite of what you normally do.”
- Wake up one hour earlier to enjoy some unexpected quiet time.
- Exercise at night instead of in the morning.
- Try gluten-free or vegan to support a dear friend.
- Swap your favourite hobby for something brand new.
- Sit in a different spot in the classroom than you’re used to.
- Drive a different, more scenic way home tonight.
- Meet three new people in your community this week.
- Trade television for library books for one month straight.
- Go to sleep on the opposite side of the bed.
- Spend the weekend silent and completely word free.
Change one routine today and open up to unforeseen freedom and opportunity.
CBC-TV Interview: https://youtu.be/rUWGr_GwzhM
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Fear is an illusion.
Don’t be fooled by fear.
Look it directly in the eye.
Fear distorts reality.
Fear exaggerates the truth.
Step back. Take a pause.
Remember who you are.
You have overcome great adversity.
You have faced this phantom before.
This wolf is a mirage.
Only your strength, your courage, and your untapped powers are real.
Resources to help you break free from the illusion of fear:
Understanding Fear: Identifying Cognitive Distortions
Overcoming Fear: Fixing Cognitive Distortions
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Make room for destiny
Are you ready to move on but are reluctant to let something go?
Letting go is not giving up.
Letting go is not giving in.
When you let go you make space for something better.
When you let go you generate energy needed for moving forward.
Close your eyes. Clear your heart.
Breathe.
Let go of what no longer serves you.
Let go of what weighs you down.
Release.
In doing so, you make room for destiny.
Your highest purpose. Your greatest calling.
