Life is complicated. Stress management shouldn’t be.
5 Simple Techniques
1. Breathing Space
2. Gratitude
3. Mindfulness
4. Movement
5. Perspective
Repeat Daily. 💙
More Tips → Thriving Under Pressure
Category: Strengths
IMPROVE MENTAL HEALTH with Positive Psychology
“The goal isn’t to get rid of negative thoughts and feelings. The goal is to change your response to them.“
Instead of thinking of mental health as a burden you must shoulder, imagine it as an opportunity to experience peace and joy.
In the same way that we make time for our physical needs, we must devote equal attention to our psychological needs.
Where do we begin?
P E R M A Theory of Well-Being
PERMA is a framework for happiness and well-being developed by UPenn professor Dr. Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology.
The model contains five key indicators of human flourishing: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievement.
Original Source:
This blog post first appeared in The Drive Magazine.
https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/cultivating-mental-health-daily
Positive Emotion
Feeling good is an essential part of well-being.
That said, it’s easy to get lost in a spiral of negativity — What’s wrong? Who’s to blame? Why did this happen to me? Leaving little time in the day for appreciation, wonder, and fun.
Which is why it’s essential to schedule good vibe moments into each day.
Here are some ideas:
- Begin the day with inspiring quotes on your bathroom mirror.
- Create a spa atmosphere for morning coffee with music and candles.
- Listen to upbeat music and podcasts on your way to work.
- Start conversations with your dreams, not your stressors.
- Put a 20-minute daily time limit on blaming and complaining.
- Go to bed visualizing three new things you’re grateful for that day.
Joy needs room to breathe.
And so do you.
Engagement
Remember when you were a kid playing with friends, and before you knew it the street lights came on? If it wasn’t for your mom yelling your name, you would be outside playing all night long. In that moment, you were in a state of flow.
You were completely engaged in what you were doing, independent of everything around you.
Your mom could have called your name for hours, and you wouldn’t have heard a word.
One hundred percent of your attentional capacity was taken up by the activity right in front of you.
Most likely you still experience a state of flow and engagement, but not as often as you like.
Activities that create a flow state include:
Engagement and flow are important for mental health. When you’re completely absorbed by a task, your mind has no capacity left over for distressing thoughts and emotions.
Relationships
Social support is an important buffer for life’s challenges.
That said, not all associations are created equal. Some relationships, unfortunately, lead to a deterioration in mental health.
Which is why CHOICE is an especially powerful tool when it comes to relationships, well-being, and happiness.
Consider the following when you spend time with people:
- Do you feel uplifted or drained?
- Do you feel listened to or ignored?
- Do you feel encouraged or criticized?
Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.
Meaning
Meaning comes from serving something bigger than ourselves.
Whether it be family, charity, occupation, or community, meaning unites us in a common vision and gives us the will to get through adversity.
Students Are My North Star
That said, meaning can appear elusive to some, so why not consider one purpose each day.
Begin with a typical workday. Choose one purpose, and do something to give meaning to that purpose.
I’ve listed a few options, as well as an example for each:
- Pick one person — thank a custodian for their hard work.
- Pick one place — post uplifting notes and quotes on a section of the wall.
- Pick one time — declare 3 pm gratitude hour.
Achievement
Achievement is the final component of the PERMA model, and, in many ways, its foundation. Goals give us a sense of achievement and satisfaction, helping us to know if we are headed in the right direction.
The key is to balance our drive and determination with the right level of difficulty. If we set a goal that’s too easy, we get bored. If it’s too hard, we experience learned helplessness.
The solution?
Set daily goals that are achievable and tied into your highest dreams.
In Conclusion
Cultivating mental health daily prepares us for the big things in our life. Every little bit counts, everything adds up. Small things on repeat change the world.
Video 1 of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here Video 2 of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.“
With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become
F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning
• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.
“Failure is the opportunity to begin again.”
Source: https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback
Your Turn:
What life lessons has failure taught you?
Words of Encouragement.
The first thing that goes when we are faced with a stressor of any kind is the memory of all we have overcome in years gone by.
Let this be your daily, weekly, hourly reminder of how wildly capable you are.
Truly. Incredibly. Capable.
We might not be a genius at everything. But we are most definitely a genius at something.
And if you ever need more than this note to remind you of your strengths, let me know in the comments below.
And I will shine a light on the luminescence that surrounds you.
Fun Activity
What words resonate with you?
What jumps off the page?
These are your strengths.✨
Thriving Teams. Thriving Leaders.
LESSONS LEARNED
In the post below, I share lessons learned at a recent thriving student leadership teams workshop.
It was a true team effort! With the team-building and leadership exercises equally led by the student leaders and myself.
Please join in and explore the reflection questions, interactive activities, and workshop videos with the teams in your life.
Together Everyone Achieves More!
WHAT HELPS TEAMS FLOURISH & THRIVE?
1. Compassion and Empathy
“It takes both sides to build a bridge.”
Perspective taking exercise.
Discussion Questions:
1. Identify a problem you have faced as a student leader.
2. Determine what’s “below the surface” that could potentially be the source of the problem.
3. Explore the problem from the perspective of the student.
4. Describe the problem and potential solution using both the leader’s and the student’s perspectives.
5. Summarize the lessons and potential opportunities of the original problem. Eg. What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about the student?“Together We Rise.”
2. Conscious Goal Setting
“Goals with Soul.”
Personal and Team goal setting exercise.
Discussion Questions:
1. What are your goals as student leader for the school year?
2. What are your goals as team member for the school year?
3. What are your greatest assets for the team?
4. What areas do you need assistance from the team?“Teamwork makes the dream work.”
3. Shared Vision
“Your life is your message to the world.”
“What’s Your North Star?” team building exercise.
Discussion Questions:
1. What’s Your Purpose?
2. What Lights Your Way?
3. What Bonds and Unites Your Team?“What’s Your Why?”
Everyday Leadership
- I encourage you to try our Thriving Teams Thriving Leaders Exercises in your own life.
- Whether it be your family team, your friendship team, your neighbourhood team, your church team, or your sports team.
- Teams are everywhere!
Assistance from UWSA Team
The videos in this post were filmed with the generous help of student leaders during my THRIVING TEAMS presentation at the University of Windsor Students’ Alliance (UWSA) Summer Board Retreat.
What an incredible group of leaders they are!
Helpful Resources
- TEDx Talk: Thriving Under Pressure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czXG8odb7pY - University of Windsor Students’ Alliance (UWSA) website
http://www.uwsa.ca
“Teamwork divides the task and multiplies the success.”
Anxiety Relief Technique: What’s Under the Fear?
Shifting from Fear to Peace
The 5 WHYS is a simple and effective technique for getting under the fear one why at a time.
The goal is to discover the root source of what causes stress or anxiety in a particular time, place, or situation.
With the ultimate intention of enhancing inner peace, self-compassion, and understanding.
BELOW THE SURFACE PSYCHOLOGY
Try the 5 WHYS technique along with me (click here to participate) and let me know what you discover! Dr. D 💖
Empowering Conversations.
In today’s psychology class, we discussed how important it is to empower friends, family, and clients going through difficult times.
And how even if we’re an expert in psychology, medicine, or business – it does not make us the master of someone else’s life.
Together we explored strength based techniques for uplifting and encouraging others in conversation and in daily life.
Acknowledging that we still have so much left to learn about friends and family.
And the only way to do this is to create an inviting listening space between ourselves and the people we meet.
Next Steps
Helpful tips for enhancing conversations with clients and family members can be found in the June article in The Drive Magazine (click here) and in the psychology video below —
The Story Behind the Story
This post was inspired by my sister Noelle.
“When my sister was 19, she had a brain aneurysm. Every day since, she has struggled to maintain her independence and financial security.
Despite her trauma, Noelle continues to thrive in unexpected and beautiful ways. She never gives up, no matter what comes her way. Over the years, I have discovered the difference it makes when I support Noelle from her perspective, rather than dictating what she needs.”
EMPOWERING
Someone with a Brain Injury
Written with the help of my sister ❤️
Change the world. One compliment at a time.
Celebrate their strengths.
Today I encourage you to notice the little things in everyone you meet. Their smile. What lifts them up. What makes their heart sing. How hard they work. How they get through a day.
Show them you care.
Acknowledge them. Notice them. Lean in. Listen completely. Praise their hard work. Compliment their positive attitude. Encourage their dreams. Thank them for their service.
It only takes a moment to change a life.
Never forget how good it feels to hear something positive about yourself. Pass the good vibes on.💛💫
Don’t give up. Great things take time.
Don’t give up.
Great things take time.
Sometimes we have to go through the worst.
To get to the best.
Fall down 7 times.
Stand up 8.
Today is your day.
Your time to rise up!
Trust and Believe in 2019
This blog post and classroom video above are dedicated to all the students around the world struggling to stay motivated midway through the winter semester. I am cheering you on! Encouraging you to not give up. This post is also meant for you – My Fellow Student of Life. 📕❤️
Keep Dreaming. Keep Believing.
What percentage of the time do you spend talking about your stress versus talking about your dreams?
Arguing for your weaknesses versus championing for your strengths?
Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.
So please accept this challenge of beginning your conversations with your dreams instead of your stress.
In doing so you energize your day and everyone around you.
Trust me. I speak from experience.
When we focus on what’s right — If only 1% of our day —
Everything changes for the better.
🔝 Video of this Blog Post 🔝
Keep Dreaming. Keep Believing.
The world needs dreamers like you.
