Watch Video Of Post: Click Here
sus·tain·a·bil·i·ty/səˌstānəˈbilədē/The ability to be maintained at a certain rate or level.
CPR includes three simple steps as outlined in the video below:
Catch yourself before a stress response escalates by becoming more aware of what triggers you.
Pause and take a 60 second time out when you feel the physical sensations of stress begin to escalate.
Repair the root source of the heightened stress response which is often physiological in nature.
The CPR Presentation was developed for the St. Clair College Student Sustainability Group as part of their initiative for supporting the health and wellbeing of college staff, faculty, and students.
This was the first time I’ve been approached to make a video for a third party. And it was so much fun!
Life is complicated. Stress management shouldn’t be.
Do you have a difficult time saying no?
While others in your life say no without a second thought.
Is this confusing and at times upsetting for you?
Are you hard on yourself because of this discrepancy between yourself and others?
Join me in my virtual psychology classroom as I share one factor that explains why some people have more difficulty saying no and holding boundaries than others — Your Personality.
In this video I describe how individuals who are overly sensitive to the feelings of others (HSPs, Empaths, ENFJs) often focus on the needs of others to the exclusion of themselves.
Video: SAYING NO Are you a feeler or a thinker?
Often causing feelers to say YES on the outside when on the inside their intuition is telling them to SAY NO.
Result = Mixed Messages + Unnecessary Stress
By contrast, individuals who are left brain dominant (thinkers on the Myers Briggs scale) are more straightforward and logical in their response to requests from friends and coworkers.
Consequently, thinkers do not focus to the same extent on the emotions of “the requesters” in the same way that feelers (eg., ENFJ’s) on the on the Myers Briggs do.
Thinkers know what they want and use analytics + logic not the emotions of the person in front of them as their guiding force.
On the plus side:
At work and in life.
Let me know in comments below how your personality impacts different areas of your life, including saying No.
Please share techniques you’ve developed for setting boundaries too!
I’d love to know!
Dr. D 📚
One Final Note:
In Addition to Personality and Individual Differences
Situation Also Impacts Our Ability to Say NO + Stand Firm
Video: Saying No is Easier When You Feel Safe
Related Post: Empowering Conversations
Thanks for visiting my psychology blog!
Dr. D 💖☀️
How we talk to ourselves matters tremendously.
Particularly in the eye of the storm.
Having a “go to” mantra in times of stress helps.
Video of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here
A mantra that has helped me over the years is imagining myself:
during the dark times.
Today I wish the same for you.
May you see the blessing in every storm.
Preparing you.
Helpful Tips: Optimism Bootcamp
We live in a world weighed down by disaster, debt, and divorce. So it’s no surprise that we’ve been conditioned to believe that tragedies require tragic mindsets.
That serious issues demand serious attitudes. That hardships necessitate hardened spirits.
Thankfully we also live in a world overflowing with abundance, joy, and love. Same world. But we can’t see the good when we’re overwhelmed by the bad.
Making the shift from stress to strength can happen in a number of ways.
Laughter = instant stress relief. Taking a long deep breath runs a close second.
Laughter breaks the panic spell. The not enough mindset. The woe is me attitude. The negativity downturn.
Laughter connects people in present time. Friends and strangers! Think of the last time you laughed out loud with a cashier in the grocery line. (For me, it was last night ;.)
Today’s challenge is to lighten up. To breathe deeply into what stresses you.
To leave room for grace. To respond with a light heart and an open mind. To dance a little dance. To laugh with friends. To nourish your soul.
Ultimately to remember who you were – before life weighed you down.
For it’s in our joy that we find our voice. It’s in our abundance that we embrace our authenticity.
It’s in our laughter that we save the day.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
I hope you enjoy my one minute meditation retreat.
Visit my YouTube Channel for more psychology videos.
A statement I tend to agree with.
Understanding ourselves better, including our brains, is always the first step in tapping into what’s possible, within, and all around us.
Did you know that fear and excitement share the same set of neurotransmitters, including dopamine, glutamate, and acetylcholine.
And the best way to shift from performance anxiety to excitement is to say one sentence on repeat.
Watch my latest YouTube video “Shifting from anxiety to excitement” to discover the simple phrase for shifting out of nervousness during high anxiety situations.
And learn why telling someone to “calm down” when they’re anxious rarely works.
Related Post: Are you left brain or right brained?
Instead of seeing obstacles and stressors as taking you down.
Try perceiving challenges as taking you UP ↑
Again and again and again.
(You’ve been dumped.)
(You’ve failed.)
(You’ve been rejected.)
(You’ve been without money.)
Afraid of being _________?
(You’ve been _________.)
Remember – you have been here before.
You have more knowledge and experience than you recognize.
You have faced this fear before.
And you have thrived because of it.
(You may not realize it – but you have.)
And you have the power to kick this fear right to the curb.
The field of positive psychology has been a blessing for me, both personally and professionally.
By focusing on strengths first, I buffer myself against the vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue often associated with the practice of psychology. And in turn, my positive approach heightens the resilience and stress hardiness in others. (Boomerang effect!)
Everywhere I go, I’m on the lookout for genius. And I don’t mean genius in the general sense. I mean strengths, assets, gifts, capabilities, multiple intelligences that are unique to each person. (Einstein’s quote below captures it perfectly.)
For not only is strengths finding essential for illuminating the abundance in others, it is essential for harnessing the bounty in ourselves.
As each time we witness the light shining brightly in another, we see their radiance reflected back in ourselves.
Identify 2-5 strengths that you witnessed in others today. Describe how seeing the strengths in others brought out the strengths in you.
If you need help with finding the good in others especially the challenging people in your life click on this this link to a great article in Psychology Today.
Are you ready to move on but are reluctant to let something go?
Letting go is not giving in.
When you let go you generate energy needed for moving forward.
Close your eyes. Clear your heart.
Let go of what weighs you down.
Your highest purpose. Your greatest calling.
Related Post: You hold the key.
Have you ever wondered how your best friend lives so freely “moment-to-moment” while your mind is imprisoned by thoughts of past events and/or planning of future events (so neatly) written in your (overly structured) daytimer?
Brain Hemispheric Specialization provides insight into why some of us are more present focused and able to “go with the flow” (Right Brain dominant); while others are busy planning their days with the step-by-step precision of a NASA engineer (Left Brain dominant).
Despite being identical in structure, the two halves of the brain specialize in how they process information (e.g., Past vs. Present), and how they function (e.g., Verbal vs. Nonverbal).
2. Watch the following 20 minute video to: a) learn firsthand about L-R brain specialization and b) discover how Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor turned her real-life tragedy into an awe inspiring “Stroke of Insight“. I am still moved to tears by her story! I hope you are too. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is resilience personified.
The more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner peace circuitry of our right hemisphere, the more peaceful our planet will be.
TEDx Speaker Jill Bolte Taylor
This post is a summary of this week’s psychology lecture and Chapter 2 of my psychology textbook.
If you want to learn more, you can download a free PDF of my neuroscience and behaviour chapter by clicking on this link.
Thriving Under Pressure
So many students come to class anxious and stressed out. The last thing on their minds is learning. Which is why I start each class by asking students what’s the best thing that’s happened to them today.
Their answers fascinate me. And give me insight into what motivates them. From simple to profound. From food to relationships. From money to purpose. From grades to destiny. And everything in between.
Interacting with students in fun and uplifting ways brings laughter and lightness to the classroom. It doesn’t take a lot of time. Yet it creates a significant shift in student stress and comfort levels.
Students need to feel safe. Students need to feel heard. Showing them you care (while having fun) works every time. Only then can the real learning begin!
No more unrelenting trials.
Lay down your burdens.
You have strengthened from your burdens.
You have developed. You have grown.
Trust your wisdom. Trust your wings.
Unless someone is going through a major life tragedy, I rarely, if ever, lean in and listen to someone’s day-to-day hassles.
Instead, I choose to give energy to their strengths not their struggles. To their light not their shadows. To their purpose not their pain.
Because I know deep down in my heart that each challenge makes us stronger, each failure makes us wiser, and each daily stressor reminds us that we are alive!
Related Post: I believe in you.
How can two people experience the same stressful event and react in incredibly different ways? What explains the difference between stress thrivers and non-thrivers?
Research shows that some individuals possess a set of resilience skills and traits that allows them to flourish in response to stress.
“Resilience is what gives people the psychological strength to cope with stress. They understand that setbacks happen and sometimes life is hard and painful. They still experience the emotional pain, grief, and sense of loss that comes after a tragedy, but their mental outlook allows them to work through such feelings and recover.” Source: Living Well
Stress hardiness is a pathway to resilience – the ability to remain healthy and strong during stressful and challenging times.
Hardy individuals transform stressful circumstances into growth opportunities by reframing adversity and taking direct action in response to stress.
In the video below, I describe the 3 key components of stress hardiness:
1. Control
– Focusing on the things you can change and letting go of the things you can’t.
E.g., “You hold the key.”
2. Challenge
– Reframing stressful challenges as opportunities for growth.
E.g., “Strength Training.“
3. Commitment
– Envisioning a higher purpose above and beyond the immediate stressor.
E.g., “Ask yourself why you started.“
Each component a critical factor in cultivating the ability to bounce back and thrive under pressure.
Yes! Research demonstrates that not only can stress hardiness be learned, it has wide-ranging applications in health and wellness, including:
1. Lowering test anxiety in high school students.
2. Reducing perceived stress in college students.
3. Protecting against war-related stress in Army Reserve forces.
4. Improving resilience and coping skills in stressed out professionals.
Video of Post: https://youtu.be/NUh9qqA0x3Y
Do you experience more stress than the average person? Are you overly sensitive to external stimuli. Chances are, there is nothing wrong with you or your coping strategies.
Instead, your brain may be more sensitive to stress than the average person. You may in fact, be what Dr. Elaine Aron has coined “A Highly Sensitive Person” (HSP).
Brain scans show that HSP’s have “heightened activity in empathy-related brain regions” including the anterior insula (insular cortex), highlighted in the brain scan below.
The intensified response of highly sensitive people (HSP) to stress is not a choice – it’s biological. HSP brains are wired differently than the average person. This fact has been clearly supported by scientific research.
- Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
- Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
- Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
- Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
- Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
- Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
- Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
- When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?
The main challenge for most HSP’s is to acknowledge their heightened emotional sensitivity, understand their unique emotional needs, and finally to employ distinctive strategies for coping with stress.
Helpful websites and resources below –
Watch my video for helpful strategies on how to thrive.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
