Surrender is not giving up.
Surrender is not giving in.
It’s trusting in something bigger than yourself.
Something you can’t quite see.
In your favour.
Behind the scenes.
Video of Post: The God Box
Something you can’t quite see.
In your favour.
Video of Post: The God Box
One of the reasons I love teaching psychology is that it gives me the opportunity to share why we do what we do. Including in romance!
The more we understand ourselves, the more compassionate we will be about ourselves and others.
So given today is Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be a good time to resurrect a 2019 social psychology lecture on the 5 love languages.
In this particular psychology class, we talked about: 1) what we value in a relationship, 2) our preferred love language, and 3) possible reasons for romantic successes and failures.
Discussed more fully in the two videos below.
In the first video I discuss the psychological theories and related life experiences that lay the foundation for a social psychology class on love and attraction (Chapter 14 in my psychology textbook).
In the second video I reflect upon the lessons learned in psychology class and how to apply these love lessons in real life.
Topics covered on video and in class:
When people show you who they are, believe them.Maya Angelou
Love Quiz → Click Here Love Video 1 → Click Here Love Video 2 → Click Here
Especially during the holidays.
And if you’re anything like our household, it requires a whole new level of relationship skills.
A deeper level of empathy and compassion for the pressures of the people we are living with.
Helpful Tips: Psychology Today
How does this show up in our home?
Emotional Intelligence: Resources
One approach that has helped tremendously is how I ask to have my needs met.
Not what I say but how I say it.
Power versus Force
Kindness versus Conviction
Watch 2 min Video of Post: Click Here
Mirror Exercise: Waking Up with Love
I used to think of life purpose as some great big grand scheme for life, something we spend our whole life chasing after. Daunting for sure. At times overwhelming.
Then one day I realized that life purpose was a series of small, fleeting events, rather than one great big span of life. Bite size in fact.
It’s the one thing we love doing, time and time again. Over and over. Day by day. It’s the one thing we love sharing. Moment to moment. Breath by breath.
RELATED POST: Don't confuse purpose with occupation
For me it’s making the person right in front of me (no matter who they are) feel like the most important person in the world.
Engaging fully, completely, in every conversation I have.
No matter how long. No matter how short.
REFLECTION QUESTION: What makes you come alive?
More than you’ll ever know.
Sometimes we need a quick, fun, and easy way to elevate our mood. Suggestion: Angel Cards A simple, soulful practice that takes a (bite sized) moment. Now my friends ask me to bring angel cards to all our coffee talks. Even if we’re sitting 8 feet apart! These light-hearted cards guarantee a shift UP in conversation. From the mundane to the magical.
What lights your way today?
Especially at the start of a brand new day.
Step One: Awareness
Begin by WAKING UP to your inner dialogue tomorrow morning.
Is it loving? Is it kind?
Step Two: Mirror Affirmations
Write an encouraging quote for yourself on your bathroom mirror.
Pick any one of the quotes you’ve shared with the world on social media this past year and post it for yourself on your bathroom mirror.
It only takes one thought, one word, one smile, one song, to change a life.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
Especially now with so many people experiencing pain and trauma in escalating ways.
Something we all need right now, more than ever before.
To be witnessed. To be heard.
Only then can we transformed by what we learn. 🌎💞
Video of Post ⇒ Click Here
Including my own.
Our Recap of That Day:
Don’t chase the destination my dear, chase the feeling.
Because the feeling will always bring you home. 💗
Share how you have fun together
Related Post → Who Inspires You?
Wishing everyone an extra dose of hope + optimism at the start of this brand new month of May.
8 billion people experiencing the same global event, at the same time – together.
This photo was taken at our first ladies night in our new house in Tecumseh, Ontario.
John and I had just gotten engaged. Just bought a house together.
And as you can tell from my big smile, I was excited to share this special moment with my friends.
Beautiful memories to be relived again.. very soon!
And calm in your heart.
The goal is to change our response to them.
To transcend them when the time is right.
Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. “She accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity”.
Let Your North Star Guide You
Watch Video of Post → Click Here
Follow Your Breath Become aware of each inhalation and exhalation. Focus on the sensations you feel as air passes through your nose and throat. When you feel your thoughts drift, gently redirect your attention back to your breath.
Stand Up Straight Posture is especially important for breathing. Being upright enhances the rhythmic movement between the diaphragm and ribs. Hold yourself straight. Shoulders back. Feel the power of your breath.
Think Reassuring Thoughts While Breathing With each breath, think soothing thoughts (“I am inhaling calm”). With each exhalation, imagine that you are expelling your fears and worries (“I am exhaling worry”).
Abdominal Breathing Breathe through your stomach. Start by inflating your belly by inhaling, as if to fill it with air, then swell your chest; as you exhale, first “empty” your stomach, then your chest.
Balanced Breathing At the end of each inhalation, pause briefly while slowly counting “1, 2, 3”. Hold the air in. Then slowly exhale counting “1, 2, 3”.
Source: Scientific American
What brings you peace during uncertainty?
What gives you strength?
Breathing Video → Click Here
Merely an idea 5 years ago.
Again and again and again.. 🙏💛 🚀💫
Video of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here
We’re on a trip to California for our December birthdays and wedding anniversary and I couldn’t imagine a more mindful place to be.
Fresh ocean air.
Sunshine in every nook.
Just outside our hotel room door.
Waiting to be climbed.
December birthday blessings of the highest kind.🎄💚
Video of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here
This one simple sentence helps me to remember that tomorrow is a brand new day.
Illuminating the possibility that what looks like the end in that dark moment, could in fact be preparing me for a whole new destiny.
And how during treatment she often says that it’s my positivity and upbeat nature that brings her to a higher place.
My friend knows what’s wrong.
I remind her of all that is right.
”Together we rise.” 🙏☀️
What gives you hope during difficult times?
Video of Blog Post: Click Here
In today’s psychology class, we discussed how important it is to empower friends, family, and clients going through difficult times.
Together we explored strength based techniques for uplifting and encouraging others in conversation and in daily life.
Acknowledging that we still have so much left to learn about friends and family.
And the only way to do this is to create an inviting listening space between ourselves and the people we meet to be themselves.
This post was inspired by my sister Noelle.
“When my sister was 19, she had a brain aneurysm. Every day since, she has struggled to maintain her independence and financial security.
Despite her trauma, Noelle continues to thrive in unexpected and beautiful ways. She never gives up, no matter what comes her way. Over the years, I have discovered the difference it makes when I support Noelle from her perspective, rather than dictating what she needs.”
Written with the help of my sister ❤️
From my experience, it’s never the time, the day, or the month that brings good vibes. It’s how we feel on the inside. So why wait another minute for happy hour. Create the life you want wherever you are. 😊😊
Related Post: Happiness in Present Time
My husband and I met 17 years ago today on June 1, 2002. And I couldn’t imagine a better way to celebrate our happy hours together than with this little blog post. May your month of June overflow with love and joy too!
Today I encourage you to notice the little things in everyone you meet. Their smile. What lifts them up. What makes their heart sing. How hard they work. How they get through a day.
Acknowledge them. Notice them. Lean in. Listen completely. Praise their hard work. Compliment their positive attitude. Encourage their dreams. Thank them for their service.
Never forget how good it feels to hear something positive about yourself. Pass the good vibes on.💛💫
Believing that you can try again.
Believing you are never alone.
Believing that things are going to get easier.
In this 5 minute training video, I demonstrate how “Locus of Control” contributes to a sense of self-efficacy and belief in oneself. Ultimately resulting in improved well-being and performance. In this video, I also share how easily we can cultivate confidence and positivity in each other. Starting with a smile and a few uplifting words.🥊💥
Link to full training video
If you’re anything like me (and Santa Claus), you answered yes.
Including the benefits of leaning into difficult emotions.
Because the more we try to fight discomfort, the longer it lasts.
“The root of all suffering is attachment.” Buddha
Stop fighting. Start flowing.
Let your stress drift gently through you.
Without judgment or condemnation.
Breathe and release.
Moment by moment.
Let go of what is outside your control.
Let go of expectations.
The pressure becomes lighter.
The joy becomes brighter.
Create your own traditions.
Fall in love with the night sky.
Savour a walk in the moonlight.
We can handle just about anything.
What if your doctor prescribed dancing as a fitness activity instead of time on a treadmill or at the gymnasium. Would you be more likely to follow through if exercise was fun and uplifting?
It’s a great reminder that getting healthy doesn’t have to be arduous.
What inspires you to follow a healthy lifestyle?
Related: Laughter saves the day.
Related Post: From Fear to Love
We often think of changing of the world as some great big, grand gesture. Performed on stage with millions of people watching. When in fact it’s just you and me (and 7 billion others). Smiling, connecting, caring, and loving. Every moment. Every encounter. We are the dominos.
Related Post: What if our only life purpose was to be kind?
In my early thirties I was going through a particularly tough time in my life.
A trifecta of life events where every pillar in my world came tumbling down.
Out of all the sadness, the times that I remember the most were the small joys and simple pleasures with my family and friends.
No matter how complicated and messy life became, it was their unwavering support that pulled me through.
“Just being there” is more powerful than most people realize.
Afternoons with my Dad walking down country roads. Weekends with my Mom at the dollar store. Sundays with my big sister at Tim Hortons.
Surprise phone calls from my two brothers. Relaxing with old friends in their cozy homes — long past the time and energy they initially had for me.
The best kind of love is simple. It creates a safe space to lose yourself and find yourself all over again. No words necessary.
Related Post: It’s ok to not be ok.
So many students come to class anxious and stressed out. The last thing on their minds is learning. Which is why I start each class by asking students what’s the best thing that’s happened to them today.
Their answers fascinate me. And give me insight into what motivates them. From simple to profound. From food to relationships. From money to purpose. From grades to destiny. And everything in between.
Interacting with students in fun and uplifting ways brings laughter and lightness to the classroom. It doesn’t take a lot of time. Yet it creates a significant shift in student stress and comfort levels.
Students need to feel safe. Students need to feel heard. Showing them you care (while having fun) works every time. Only then can the real learning begin!