Psychology 101: Ask Dr. D.

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Getting to know my students is one of my favourite parts being a professor.

 Accordingly, I ask students a lot of questions.

So it’s only fair that students get to ask me questions too!

Why did you become a psychologist? 🎥

What’s most interesting about being a college professor? 🎥

I would love to hear your questions too! 💥

First impressions.

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I met a delightful group of people at a dinner party this past Saturday night. Which of course (like all social occasions) got my psychologist mind percolating.

Particularly when one of the guests leaned in halfway through dinner and stated “Andrea, you seem like the kind of person who never worries”. At which point my husband (laughed) chimed in and said “Oh she worries. Plenty”.

The surface of the iceberg is a glimpse of what lies below.

This conversation brings up three important points. One, how truly multifaceted we are. Two, how those closest to us know us best. And finally, how we (write) teach what we ultimately need to learn.

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I am a worrier. I’m also brave. I dream. I overwork. I ruminate. I relax. I overachieve. I doubt. I believe.

I am not one thing. And neither are you. We are all multifaceted. Equally.

Related Post: Who are you?

What would people be surprised to learn about you?

WHY change NOW?

The first question I ask clients wanting to make a change is “Why Now?”

For there is no doubt that they (and you and I) have been wanting to transform an aspect of our lives for a very long time.

But the intrinsic motivation just isn’t quite there. The kind of motivation that is essential for lasting change.

Unfortunately too many people wait for something bad to happen in their lives before making positive changes.

This is a universal truth.

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How do we “change” how we change?

We take two steps back before moving one step forward.

We pause. We slow down. We notice.

We open our eyes to all the possibilities.

We write our dreams down.

We take photos of what inspires us to bloom.

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We ask for honest feedback from people we trust.

We acknowledge what gets in the way of our potential. Big and small.

We compile all the reasons why our best lives shouldn’t wait another day.

And we have fun doing it! Positivity has power too. 🦋

Why change now?

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My CBC-TV Interview: 5 Ways to Embrace Change.

Fear is an illusion.

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Don’t be fooled by fear.

Look it directly in the eye.

Fear distorts reality.

Fear exaggerates the truth.

Step back. Take a pause.

 Remember who you are.

You have overcome great adversity.

You have faced this phantom before.

This wolf is a mirage.

Only your strength, your courage, and your untapped powers are real.

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Resources to help you break free from the illusion of fear:

Understanding Fear: Identifying Cognitive Distortions
Overcoming Fear: Fixing Cognitive Distortions
Repost from October 2017 — Click Here.

Just what the doctor ordered.

What if…

What if your doctor prescribed dancing as a fitness activity instead of time on a treadmill or at the gymnasium. Would you be more likely to follow through if exercise was fun and uplifting?


This doctor’s prescription for today:

Dancing!

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Which is why I love the commercial below.

It’s a great reminder that getting healthy doesn’t have to be arduous.

It can be so much fun!

Families who dance together stay healthy together.”

Dance inspires me to stand up, shake it off, and bust a move. 🎉💃

What about you?

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What inspires you to follow a healthy lifestyle? 

Related: Laughter saves the day.

Health and Happiness.

Reflection Questions

When someone asks you “What makes you happy?” does your answer differ from “What makes you healthy?”

Do you consider your health requirements essential and your happiness needs selfish and superfluous?

Or perhaps you rate health and happiness as equal and interdependent.

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I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Here I am.

The aftermath.

No matter how many times I give a speech or participate in a big event, I am often left with the same feeling for a day or so.

Sadness. A kind of longing. A sense of emptiness.

For weeks, sometimes months, I practice, prepare, and edit my work. Immersed, focused, lost in the creative flow.

At night. On weekends. During all my free time. Hoping to do my best. Not wanting to let down.

Researching. Anticipating. Building  up to the main event.

Afterward, what was once was filled with busyness is an open space. A hollowness that cannot be filled by looking back or planning ahead.

An ache. A void. For no good logical reason.

A place inside that can only be filled in present time.

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So I go for a bike ride knowing how Mother Nature always soothes my heart and replenishes my soul.

There is no more looking back or ahead when I am outside.

At that moment I hear three words deep in my heart.

Here I am.

Here I am.

For solace cannot be found in travelling through time.

It can only be found in where you are right now.

Here I am.

in the blooming trees

in the birds soaring

in the sun setting

in the water flowing

in this moment wherever you are.

Here I am. 💚

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5 Steps to Thriving.

Note: This is my very first Vlog post. I supplemented an earlier post with a new 3 minute video presentation. I have lots to learn for sure. But it sure feels good to jump outside my comfort zone!

Thriving Steps based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Step 1

 Physiological Needs

– Energy of Thriving

  • A good night’s sleep.
  • Healthy food.
  • Clean air to breathe.

Step 2

 Safety Needs 

– Foundation of Thriving

  • Freedom.
  • Survival Skills.
  • Safe place to live.

Step 3

Love and Belonging Needs

– Nourishment of Thriving 

  • Supportive relationships.
  • Loving family and friends.
  • Encouraging coworkers.

Step 4

Self Esteem Needs

– Enrichment of Thriving

  • Education and learning.
  • Goals and ambition.
  • Stretching outside comfort zone.

Step 5

Self Actualization Needs

– Ultimate Thriving 

  • Purpose and Vision.
  • Achievement of Life Mission.
  • Self Actualization of Dreams.

How will you thrive today?

Hope.

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My husband John and I had dinner at this little restaurant in Niagara-on-the-Lake when I was away speaking at a conference this week. This single pink rose reminded me of the one thing that truly matters. HOPE. I have hope. In you. In me. In our future. I have hope. 💕 

Wishing you a long weekend filled with flowers and sunshine.

Related Post: Always looking up.

Free yourself.

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“Go 24 hours without complaining and watch your life start changing.”

The next time you’re tempted to complain about the same thing over and over again, direct that same frustrated energy into your highest, loftiest goals. Consciously swap one complaint for one baby step towards your dreamsSame energy required. Magically different results. 

To view the full version of my TEDx Talk — click here. 🎥


What habit do you want to break free of? What changes are you willing to make?