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Not days.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Cozy blankets.
Birds singing.
The sun rising.
Not days.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Taste every morsel.
Dance with abandon.
Stroll by the moonlight.
Not days.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Peace lives here.
How to Turn Fear into Excitement
Did you know that fear and excitement share the same set of neurotransmitters, including dopamine, norepinephrine, and acetylcholine.
And the best way to shift from performance anxiety to excitement is to say one sentence on repeat.
Video Credits: Big thank you to Windsor Entrepreneur Taylor Lanoie for asking such a great question during my Pitch with Passion Workshop. And also for giving me permission to share our dynamic exchange with all of you.
Click Here to Download PDF of Harvard Research on “Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety“, the basis for 1) this video presentation, and 2) a similar performance skills video filmed earlier this year.
Instead of thinking of mental health as a burden you must shoulder, imagine it as an opportunity to experience peace and joy.
In the same way that we make time for our physical needs, we must devote equal attention to our psychological needs.
PERMA is a framework for happiness and well-being developed by UPenn professor Dr. Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology.
The model contains five key indicators of human flourishing: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievement.
Original Source:
This blog post first appeared in The Drive Magazine.
https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/cultivating-mental-health-daily
Feeling good is an essential part of well-being.
That said, it’s easy to get lost in a spiral of negativity — What’s wrong? Who’s to blame? Why did this happen to me? Leaving little time in the day for appreciation, wonder, and fun.
Which is why it’s essential to schedule good vibe moments into each day.
Here are some ideas:
And so do you.
Remember when you were a kid playing with friends, and before you knew it the street lights came on? If it wasn’t for your mom yelling your name, you would be outside playing all night long. In that moment, you were in a state of flow.
You were completely engaged in what you were doing, independent of everything around you.
Your mom could have called your name for hours, and you wouldn’t have heard a word.
One hundred percent of your attentional capacity was taken up by the activity right in front of you.
Most likely you still experience a state of flow and engagement, but not as often as you like.
Activities that create a flow state include:
Engagement and flow are important for mental health. When you’re completely absorbed by a task, your mind has no capacity left over for distressing thoughts and emotions.
Social support is an important buffer for life’s challenges.
That said, not all associations are created equal. Some relationships, unfortunately, lead to a deterioration in mental health.
Which is why CHOICE is an especially powerful tool when it comes to relationships, well-being, and happiness.
Consider the following when you spend time with people:
Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.
Meaning comes from serving something bigger than ourselves.
Whether it be family, charity, occupation, or community, meaning unites us in a common vision and gives us the will to get through adversity.
Students Are My North Star
That said, meaning can appear elusive to some, so why not consider one purpose each day.
Begin with a typical workday. Choose one purpose, and do something to give meaning to that purpose.
I’ve listed a few options, as well as an example for each:
Achievement is the final component of the PERMA model, and, in many ways, its foundation. Goals give us a sense of achievement and satisfaction, helping us to know if we are headed in the right direction.
The key is to balance our drive and determination with the right level of difficulty. If we set a goal that’s too easy, we get bored. If it’s too hard, we experience learned helplessness.
Set daily goals that are achievable and tied into your highest dreams.
Cultivating mental health daily prepares us for the big things in our life. Every little bit counts, everything adds up. Small things on repeat change the world.
Video 1 of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here Video 2 of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here
This one simple sentence helps me to remember that tomorrow is a brand new day.
Illuminating the possibility that what looks like the end in that dark moment, could in fact be preparing me for a whole new destiny.
This video and blog post were inspired by a very dear friend of mine experiencing unexpected health problems.
And how during treatment she often says that it’s my positivity and upbeat nature that brings her to a higher place.
My friend knows what’s wrong.
I remind her of all that is right.”Together we rise.” 🙏☀️
What gives you hope during difficult times?
Video of Blog Post: Click Here
The next time you have a speech to give, try taking a pause between thoughts.
In doing so, you allow your message to sink in.
Giving yourself and the audience a much needed break.
Allowing time for everyone to digest the information.
Ultimately replacing “ums” and “ahs” with breathing space.
Try the pause and let me know what you think! 🎙 🍃
Watch Video: Practice the Pause
You have the ability to make positive changes in your life.
Right here. Right now.
Don’t wait for “the perfect time” to transform your life.
NOW IS YOUR POWER.
LOOK AROUND YOU
Notice things like you’re seeing them for the very first time.
Embrace it. Love it. Be it.
Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”
Everything You Appreciate
in this moment
is your highest self
reflecting back.
This video and blog post were inspired by a beautiful row of autumn trees that I saw across a parking lot. Reminding me to be still, breathe deeply, and notice every little thing.
Fall is nature on fire.🔥🍁🍂
Watch Video: Now is Your Power
Video: Fostering A Growth Mindset 🍃
Do you have a difficult time saying no?
While others in your life say no without a second thought.
Is this confusing and at times upsetting for you?
Are you hard on yourself because of this discrepancy between yourself and others?
Join me in my virtual psychology classroom as I share one factor that explains why some people have more difficulty saying no and holding boundaries than others — Your Personality.
In this video I describe how individuals who are overly sensitive to the feelings of others (HSPs, Empaths, ENFJs) often focus on the needs of others to the exclusion of themselves.
Video: SAYING NO Are you a feeler or a thinker?
Often causing feelers to say YES on the outside when on the inside their intuition is telling them to SAY NO.
Result = Mixed Messages + Unnecessary Stress
By contrast, individuals who are left brain dominant (thinkers on the Myers Briggs scale) are more straightforward and logical in their response to requests from friends and coworkers.
Consequently, thinkers do not focus to the same extent on the emotions of “the requesters” in the same way that feelers (eg., ENFJ’s) on the on the Myers Briggs do.
Thinkers know what they want and use analytics + logic not the emotions of the person in front of them as their guiding force.
On the plus side:
At work and in life.
Let me know in comments below how your personality impacts different areas of your life, including saying No.
Please share techniques you’ve developed for setting boundaries too!
I’d love to know!
Dr. D 📚
One Final Note:
In Addition to Personality and Individual Differences
Situation Also Impacts Our Ability to Say NO + Stand Firm
Video: Saying No is Easier When You Feel Safe
With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become
F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning
• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.
“Failure is the opportunity to begin again.”
Source: https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback
What life lessons has failure taught you?
Why Can’t I Remember Anything?
One of the most frequent questions I was asked as a practicing psychologist and more recently as a psychology professor is why can’t I remember anything.
An important distinction between memory and attention that I share my Fall Focus Article in The Drive Magazine. And again, in more detail, in the focus video below.
In the video in particular, I describe how the Atkinson–Shiffrin memory model (see model below) differentiates between sensory, short-term, and long-term memory.
And the important implications this model has for one’s ability to focus and remember information long term.
You can’t do big things if you’re distracted by small things.
Thanks for your attention!
Dr. D 📚
