Empowering Conversations.

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In today’s psychology class, we discussed how important it is to empower friends, family, and clients going through difficult times.

And how even if we’re an expert in psychology, medicine, or business – it does not make us the master of someone else’s life.86413B3A-117A-451E-9318-CB334FF5E5CC

Together we explored strength based techniques for uplifting and encouraging others in conversation and in daily life.

Acknowledging that we still have so much left to learn about friends and family.

And the only way to do this is to create an inviting listening space between ourselves and the people we meet.

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Next Steps

Helpful tips for enhancing conversations with clients and family members can be found in the June article in The Drive Magazine (click here) and in the psychology video below —


The Story Behind the Story

This post was inspired by my sister Noelle.

12BB321D-E44A-4F1F-A3DF-D616562A0831“When my sister was 19, she had a brain aneurysm. Every day since, she has struggled to maintain her independence and financial security.

Despite her trauma, Noelle continues to thrive in unexpected and beautiful ways. She never gives up, no matter what comes her way. Over the years, I have discovered the difference it makes when I support Noelle from her perspective, rather than dictating what she needs.”

Excerpt from The Drive Magazine | Issue 122, p. 49

EMPOWERING

Someone with a Brain Injury

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Written with the help of my sister ❤️

Your emotions have a message for you.

Create space for feelings to flow.

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Emotions are neither good or bad.

Only labeling makes it so.

Don’t run from challenging emotions.

Instead, lean in and ask:

“What are you trying to tell me?”

Witness. Observe. Learn.

The best part is how small fear appears close up!

We must go in — to get through.

Helpful Article with Strategies

Click Here:  Lean into lonelinessDriveLoneliness

Cultivating Mental Health Daily.

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In Celebration of Mental Health Awareness Month in Canada

In this video, I share an overview of my latest psychology article in The Drive Magazine (May, Issue 121). An issue devoted entirely to mental health awareness, treatment, and prevention. With the ultimate goal of ending the stigma of mental illness.

Instead of thinking of mental health as a burden to be shouldered, imagine it as an opportunity to experience peace and joy. In the same way that we make time for our physical needs (eating and sleeping) we must devote attention to our psychological needs.

Excerpt from The Drive Magazine, Issue 121, pages 58-60.

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Building a mental health reserve

In the article I discuss the importance of daily self-care as a preventative and restorative health strategy.

In the same way that save money to buy our dream home, it is critical that we contribute daily to our mental health bank account. Health is wealth after all!

Everything little bit counts. Everything adds up. Spa coffee dates especially. ☕️💗

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Read Magazine Article ⇒ Click Here

How to stay motivated as you prepare for your TEDX Talk.

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Last night I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to the new roster of TEDX Windsor speakers at Beachgrove Golf and Country Club in Windsor Ontario.

“A goal should scare you a little bit and excite you a lot.”

In the 4 min video below I advise the 2019 @TEDxWindsor Speakers how to stay motivated during the extensive and lengthy TEDX preparation process.

These tips apply to life too!

Reminding speakers HOW THEY DREAMED of becoming a TEDX SPEAKER long before they had the INCREDIBLE FORTUNE to became one.

What’s your why?

YOUR TURN

Do you want to be a TEDX Speaker one day?

What would the name of your TEDX Talk be? 

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

1. Purchase Tickets for the June 8 TEDX Windsor Event

https://tedxwindsor.com/events/tedxwindsor-2019

2. Watch TEDX Talk THRIVING UNDER PRESSURE

 ✨Today’s Psychology Opportunity✨

Choose to believe in something bigger than yourself. And let your North Star light your way.

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Dare to Dream!

Save your energy for what matters most.

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Time & Energy Audit

1. What area of your life do you need to slow down in?

2. What area of your life do you need to REV IT UP in?

ABCD Priority List

Make a list of all the things that you have to do today.

Order them in terms of A to D with A being what matters most.

For example:

A Priorities =

Eating healthy.

Studying for final exams.

Getting a good night’s sleep.

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D Priorities =

Watching Netflix until 2am.

Repeatedly checking Facebook posts.

Complaining about past relationships.

In this video I walk students through the ABCD process.

Our life changes when our priorities change.

What’s on your A list today?

Optimism Bootcamp Workshop.

Come join us at my most recent positive psychology workshop.

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Have fun and do the interactive exercises with us!

Video Clip of the Workshop:

OPTIMISM BOOTCAMP is based on an article of the same name that I recently wrote for my psychology column in The Drive Magazine.

I believe that optimism is a life skill that can be learned. A thriving mindset that helps people focus on what’s within their control. Making it easier to let go and move on to what matters most: Life itself 💃💥

To Read Optimism Bootcamp Article 
 ⇒ Click Here

Manage energy not time. Positive energy multiplies.

Awareness is the first step to increasing vitality.

What you give energy to matters tremendously.

Thoughts. Emotions. Actions. People.

Some drain. Others invigorate.

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Where to start?

I made a video to help people become more conscious of what depletes their energy and what lifts them up.

Including the Energy Audit a simple and easy-to-use technique for monitoring the ebb and flow of energy that we all experience throughout the day.

Heightened awareness and monitoring is especially important for people who struggle with low energy and lack of time. Helping them to identify the source of their energy leaks and peaks.

Energy Audit Technique:

Time versus Energy Management

Rather than focusing on time, which is finite, I suggest that we turn our attention to energy management, which in turn expands the amount of time we have.

Because when we feel energized, we can do twice as much in half the time.

Positive Energy Multiplies

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Takeaway

Your energy is your currency.

Spend it well.

Invest it wisely.


Reflection Questions:

  1. How do you manage your energy throughout the day?
  2. Is energy something you consciously pay attention to?
  3. What is your energy level on a scale of 1-10 right now?
  4. What (who) energizes you? What (who) drains you?
  5. Will you try the ENERGY AUDIT technique I share in the video?

This was my first video blog ever!  (Filmed July 2018) I was equal parts terrified and excited. Hence the breathlessness. Upside: I had a blast filming it

What’s your love language?

How do you express your love?

What do you value most in a partner?

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Love Lessons in the Classroom

In this week’s social psychology class, we talked about:

1) What we value in relationships.

2) Our 5 love languages.

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3) The thought processes behind choosing a partner.

Video #1: Before Class Preparations

In video #1  I discuss the psychological theories and related life experiences that lay the foundation for this week’s social psychology class.


Love Lessons in Real Life

In video #2 below, I reflect on the lessons learned in this week’s psychology class and share insights on how to apply the love lessons in real life.

1) Including concrete ways of matching love values to your potential partner’s “tells”. Specifically, how to read your date’s nonverbal cues and behaviour.

2) And how to look for *concrete evidence* of love values, including honesty and thoughtfulness, in your date’s actions and words.

Video #2 : After Class Reflections

YOUR TURN

Let’s Talk about Love!

1. What is the one value you cherish most in a partner?

Examples:

trustworthiness – kindness – compassion – intelligence – humour – adventurousness – physical attractiveness – undivided attention

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2. What is your preferred love language?

Examples:

Love Notes – Surprise Gifts – Helping – Quality Time – Cuddling

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Please share in the comments!

I’d love to hear what you value in love
For more videos → YouTube Channel

Positive Psychology Workshop | Women with Drive Summit

“There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about.”

Positive Psychology Workshop

“If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

In celebration of this year’s International Women’s Day I had the opportunity to speak at a Windsor Summit called Women with Drive.

A local conference organized by a young woman named Cierra Bray, who poured her heart and soul for months into planning, organizing, and promoting the exhilarating two-day event.

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When asked to describe the conference to those who were unable to attend, I summed it up in three words: beautiful, heartwarming, and informative.

And even more than that — my favourite takeaway from the Women with Drive Summit was the empowering community Cierra Bray, the organizer, created.

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All Photos by Charlie O’Brien

“Educate a girl, and you educate a community.” 

Including weekly WWD newsletters and face-to-face reunions for all who participated.

For gatherings aren’t meant as a means to an end. Instead, they are just the beginning for all that is yet to come.

Heal. Learn. Grow. Succeed.

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“Expand your knowledge by expanding your community.”


LESSONS LEARNED

From an Audience Member 

 For all 7 lessons, visit GutsyFeeling.com

Ms. Nathalie Begin shares her lessons below:

PROTECT YOURSELF

Dr. Dinardo explained to us all about positive psychology while sharing with us some of the struggles she faced earlier in her career as a psychologist.

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The main focus of her discussion was about protecting yourself from everyone’s problems.

One of the main things that Dr. Dinardo struggled with years ago was protecting her own mental health when she had all of these patients who needed her help.

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She taught us that we should be focusing less on the PROBLEMS in our lives, and more on strengths and goodness in our lives.

When someone comes to her with a problem, she believes it is best to speak 15 minutes about the problem, and 45 about the solutions, strengths and goodness.

Dr. Dinardo explains that we must build on what is STRONG, not on what is WRONG.

If you spend too much time talking about the problems, you will never find a solution.

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She also explains that we must protect ourselves from other people’s  problems.

We should be respectful of other peoples time and energy, and ensure that it is okay to talk about our problems with other people. (We often word vomit our problems onto so many people in our lives and this is not okay to do all the time.)

Dr. Dinardo explains one of her favorite practices is the 10 minute timer. She allows friends to vent for 10 minutes, and after that time it is over.

Overall, it is important that we protect our energy and respect others energy in order to stay sane and happy.

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All photos by Charlie O’Brien

Together we rise.” 💞

The Shadow Effect.

Psychology Class

The Shadow Effect

One of the things I love to do is share what’s happening on campus in my psychology class.

Today’s topic: The Shadow Effect

Watch this short video and consider the following questions:

  1. What is your shadow?
  2. How does your shadow serve you?
  3. Where does your shadow come from?

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How do I bring shadow side of myself into the light?

Helpful resources and activities:

  1. One Minute Meditation: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3ucdU7URx5g
  2. Give Pain Room to Breathe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp_QjmmCzeU
  3. Lean into Loneliness: https://www.thedrivemagazine.com/posts/lean-into-loneliness
  4. Failure as Feedback: https://www.thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback
  5. The Positive Power of Negative Emotions: amazon.ca/books

There is transformative power in our negative emotions. The key is to create a safe, welcoming space to lean in and hear their lessons.