Reading People: Lesson #1

“The simple act of paying attention can take you a long, long way.”

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Self-awareness is your superpower.

The first lesson in reading people, using the principles of emotional intelligence, is to understand yourself more deeply.

What motivates you. What excites you. What angers you. What lifts you up!

As self-awareness is essential for both personal and relationship success.

If you can’t comprehend your own emotions and motivations, how will you ever understand the behaviour of others?

Understanding Yourself  ⇔ Understanding Others

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Self-awareness as a daily practice.

Notice how your emotions ebb and flow throughout the day.

One way of doing this is to schedule time at the end or beginning of your day for quiet contemplation and self-reflection.

Find your favourite place to relax and unwind. Perhaps in the garden or in a cozy chair by the window. Or on a walk by the trees. 

Alternatively, enjoy a 2 minute “Self Check In” at the top of each hour.

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Pause. Reflect. Breathe Deeply. Journal. Meditate. Create. 

What you will find is the more consistently you pay attention to your own drives and desires, the better you will understand the emotions and motivations of others.

Simple self-awareness exercise.

In the video below, I share the simple exercise I use to enhance self-awareness in myself and others. Can you guess the EQ questions I ask students?

Your Turn:

How would you describe yourself in one word?

To hear my “one word” — check out the 1 min video above.  📌🎥

Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?

F. A. I. L.

= First Attempt At Learning

With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction. Helped me to develop strength and authenticity. Ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become. 

  • The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most. No matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
  • The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself. No matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
  • The lay off from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself. No matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.

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What determines our reaction to failure?

Learning from failure is the ultimate goal. That said, not everyone responds to failure in the same way, at the same time.

Our reaction to failure is determined by several factors, including:

  1. The timing of the failure.
  2. The magnitude of the failure.
  3. The attribution attached to the failure.
  4. The level of support during the failure.
  5. The self-efficacy and belief in starting over.

Ask someone how they feel about failure in the midst of it; life as they know it is over. Ask someone how they feel about failure one year later; life as they know it has been transformed.

The key to supporting someone experiencing failure is not to rush them through the healing process. Yes, in the long run, the gifts of failure outweigh the costs.  But we must be sensitive to how dark it feels in the eye of the storm. Only then can move towards the light.

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Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?

Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives.

  • If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
  • If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
  • If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
  • If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.

🌷  Your Turn  🌷

  • If it weren’t for failure _______________.
  • If it weren’t for failure _______________.
  • If it weren’t for failure _______________.
  • If it weren’t for failure _______________.

What life lessons has failure taught you?

Signs are everywhere.

Don’t forget to watch video too! 🎥

Signs pointing us in the direction of our dreams are everywhere.

Everywhere!

But we have to look UP to see it.

OPEN our minds to BELIEVE it.

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Daily Visualization Exercise

The next time you see a 30 km, 40 km, or even 100 km sign — take it as an opportunity to visualize where (and who) you want to be at that age.

Additionally, use each “sign” as instant reflection time for contemplating: 1) what you need to do more of and 2) what you need to let go of to get there.

We only get one life.

Let’s imagine the best one possible!

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Psychology 101: Ask Dr. D.

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Getting to know my students is one of my favourite parts being a professor.

 Accordingly, I ask students a lot of questions.

So it’s only fair that students get to ask me questions too!

Why did you become a psychologist? 🎥

What’s most interesting about being a college professor? 🎥

I would love to hear your questions too! 💥

5 Steps to Thriving.

Note: This is my very first Vlog post. I supplemented an earlier post with a new 3 minute video presentation. I have lots to learn for sure. But it sure feels good to jump outside my comfort zone!

Thriving Steps based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Step 1

 Physiological Needs

– Energy of Thriving

  • A good night’s sleep.
  • Healthy food.
  • Clean air to breathe.

Step 2

 Safety Needs 

– Foundation of Thriving

  • Freedom.
  • Survival Skills.
  • Safe place to live.

Step 3

Love and Belonging Needs

– Nourishment of Thriving 

  • Supportive relationships.
  • Loving family and friends.
  • Encouraging coworkers.

Step 4

Self Esteem Needs

– Enrichment of Thriving

  • Education and learning.
  • Goals and ambition.
  • Stretching outside comfort zone.

Step 5

Self Actualization Needs

– Ultimate Thriving 

  • Purpose and Vision.
  • Achievement of Life Mission.
  • Self Actualization of Dreams.

How will you thrive today?

Free yourself.

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“Go 24 hours without complaining and watch your life start changing.”

The next time you’re tempted to complain about the same thing over and over again, direct that same frustrated energy into your highest, loftiest goals. Consciously swap one complaint for one baby step towards your dreamsSame energy required. Magically different results. 

To view the full version of my TEDx Talk — click here. 🎥


What habit do you want to break free of? What changes are you willing to make?

The power of beliefs.

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Belief plays a pivotal role in resilience.

Believing that you have what it takes.

Believing that you can try again.

Believing in something greater than yourself.

Believing you are never alone.

Believing your power is greater than your pain.

Believing that things are going to get easier.

This 1 minute video encapsulates it all.

What beliefs help you overcome challenges?

Thanks Mom for always believing in me.

1000 views on the official TEDx site!

I am so excited to share that my TEDx video hit 1000 views today! 🎥

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A BIG thank you for watching and sharing my TEDx talk with your friends and family. We are stronger than our stress. This I know for sure. Together we will thrive under pressure. 💥

Click on TEDx Video → Thriving Under Pressure

TEDx Video: Thriving Under Pressure

Good news to share!

I have been working on a TEDx project with the University of Windsor TEDx team since last year. And just an hour ago, I received the good news that the finished video was uploaded to the official TEDx site today! So pumped!

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In my TEDx Talk I discuss how to THRIVE under pressure using 3 stress resilience tools: challenge, control and commitment.

The purpose of this talk and my blog is to help students develop positive coping techniques in fun, interactive, and uplifting ways.

By first focusing on what is right, before examining what is wrong, students can be transformed by their challenges and adversities. 🌴💚

If you like, please share this TEDx video with friends and family on social media. The wider its reach, the more people I can help thrive under pressure!

May Your North Star Light Your Way. 💫

TEDx Photos: Diamonds from Pressure.

“Don’t tell people your dreams. Show them.”

I am excited to share an interview, photos, and a short video clip from yesterday’s TEDx Event at the University of Windsor. It was one of the most positive speaking experiences I’ve ever had. Truly magical.

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TEDx Dr. Andrea Dinardo

 

TEDx Videoclip

 

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TEDx Organizers
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My Psychology Students 🍏

TEDx Slideshow

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TEDx Dr. Andrea Dinardo

TEDx Dream Team

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Team TEDx

Thank you for letting me share my dream of being on the TEDx stage!  The official TEDx video will be posted soon. 🎥

Related Post: How I prepared my TEDx Speech.