I was motivated to write this post and film an accompanying video after witnessing so many students overwrought by thoughts of inadequacy about how they looked.
In reality, there was no doubt that they were healthy and whole, but in their minds, they believed the opposite.
In addition to spending time in self reflection and reality testing, it is important to open up the conversation to the community at large.
In doing so we move into collective problem-solving, empowering solutions, and public health education.
Podcast Interview
Be Yourself: Happy. Healthy. Hopeful.
Turning Self-Criticism into Self-Compassion
“In this episode, Stephani and Dr. Dinardo speak about what positive psychology is, turning your perceived flaws into strengths by moving from self-criticism to self-compassion, posttraumatic growth and how adversity can be beneficial to us, boundaries around social media use, the magic of prevention work and maintaining hope”. Bulimia Anorexia Nervosa Association (BANA)
The first thing I do before I engage with someone online is read their page – literally!
I read their “About Me” biography. Plus their comments and interactions on social media, blog posts, and articles. And if available, I listen to their interviews and watch accompanying videos.
I love learning about the people I interact with. Especially their strengths.
This is where I get curious about what makes a company tick!
The people, the history, the economics, the geography, the philosophy.
The company’s motto and theme song (check out their facebook page).
Pick up the phone and talk to the receptionist and administrative assistants — the pulse of the organization. And if possible, engage with front line workers and management.
This is also the time to assess if the company’s core values match up with your own.
What makes you unique, different, quirky, goofy, all kinds of wonderful?
This is the part of the online interaction process where your personality wraps around your talents, education, and abilities.
For example: when I was a kid, my Dad always said: “Andrea, you better get a job where you get paid to talk” because.. I couldn’t stop talking! (you should have seen my grade 8 report card)
This is why I come alive in the classroom but would fade away in a research lab.
What parts of your personality make your skill set stand out?
At a recent leadership conference, student leaders from St. Clair College’s Student Representative Council SRC had the opportunity to ask questions live during the final portion of the virtual training event.
Ask Dr. D
The student leaders raised the reflection bar high during this discussion period.
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”
With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become
F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning
• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.
How are you coping with our universal global event?
How has your perception of yourself and the world evolved?
How has COVID-19 transformed you?
What is the higher purpose in all of this?
I Am Waking Up
After socially distancing and working full-time from home as a psychology professor (now online), I had never felt more appreciative and grateful for all the simple joys in my life.
In this video created for Windsor Updates I share how our family is thriving instead of merely surviving the COVID-19 crisis.
Including counting our blessings like never before.
Community Resilience
In the next video I share pandemic resilience techniques with our local Windsor Essex community.
An interactive virtual experience hosted by F45 fitness studio owner Samantha Piercell:
Like all eyes are on you and every potential error you make?
Everyone experiences this phenomenon from time to time, especially when trying out something for the first time.
Think back to the first time you gave a dinner party, swung a golf club, wrote a college exam, or posted your first blog online.
Social Anxiety and Heightened Experiences
Individuals with social anxiety experience this sense of being watched (and thought about) significantly more than the average person.
Independent of skills and expertise.
Why is this the case?
The Imaginary Audience
One potential explanation is a psychological phenomenon called imaginary audience experienced frequently in adolescence.
A concept first introduced by social psychologists David Elkind and Erik Erikson in the 1960’s.
Think back to how easily embarrassed you were as a teenager.
If you wore the “wrong shirt” to school, it felt like everyone was gossiping about you and your entire social life would end as a result.
Resulting in perpetual self-consciousness, distorted views of how others saw you, causing in a tendency to conform for fear of sticking out.
Limiting your freedom to express outside the norm for fear of collective banishment and reprisal.
What does the research say?
Using the Imaginary Audience Scale as a Measure of Social Anxiety in Young Adults
Two studies explored imaginary audience phenomenon among college students.
Imaginary audience behavior was found to be related to measures of social anxiety, self perception, and personality.
Furthermore, imaginary audience scores were more strongly related to anxiety than abstract reasoning.
These results suggest that imaginary audience experiences that persist into early adulthood have more to do with social anxiety than with cognitive development.
The next time you imagine you are being watched, talked about, or judged by others, remember that imaginary audience IS AN ILLUSION heightened by social media, physiology (eg., lack of sleep), and overthinking.
When in truth, people are so focused on themselves (and their phones), that there is a 99% chance that no one cares what you are up to or how you are performing.
My TEDx Talk includes all 3 C’s of Thriving Under Pressure: challenge, control, commitment.
Inspiration for TEDx Talk + Psychology Blog
I created my psychology blog and TEDx Talk (both called “Thriving Under Pressure”) in response to rising levels of student stress and anxiety.
The goal is to help students (and you) develop positive coping techniques in fun, interactive, and uplifting ways.
By first focusing on what is right, before examining what is wrong, people are motivated to move beyond, and in some cases, be transformed by their challenges and adversities.
My number one intention for becoming a psychologist and psychology professor has always been to help people live a better life, no matter their life circumstances. And since there are only so many hours in a day, I’m always looking for new ways to reach and teach as many people as I can. All at once, if possible.
Which is why I created a Psychology Tips Playlist on my YouTube Channel that I contribute to often.
Psychology Thought for the Day
The purpose of my psychology YouTube Channel is to share key lessons from my three hour psychology lessons in as little as three to five minutes.
Giving people far and wide access to virtual classes, especially those who don’t have the money or means to an undergraduate education. I know how busy everyone is. And I love a good challenge! I also include videos of psychology interviews, workshops, and keynote speeches.
Catch yourself before a stress response escalates by becoming more aware of what triggers you.
2. Pause
Pause and take a 60 second time out when you feel the physical sensations of stress begin to escalate.
3. Repair
Repair the root source of the heightened stress response which is often physiological in nature.
Supporting Student Health
Requested by
The CPR Presentation was developed for the St. Clair College Student Sustainability Group as part of their initiative for supporting the health and wellbeing of college staff, faculty, and students.
New Opportunity
This was the first time I’ve been approached to make a video for a third party. And it was so much fun!
The model contains five key indicators of human flourishing: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievement.
Positive Emotion
Feeling good is an essential part of well-being.
That said, it’s easy to get lost in a spiral of negativity — What’s wrong? Who’s to blame? Why did this happen to me? Leaving little time in the day for appreciation, wonder, and fun.
Go to bed visualizing three new things you’re grateful for that day.
Joy needs room to breathe.
And so do you.
Engagement
Remember when you were a kid playing with friends, and before you knew it the street lights came on? If it wasn’t for your mom yelling your name, you would be outside playing all night long. In that moment, you were in a state of flow.
You were completely engaged in what you were doing, independent of everything around you.
Your mom could have called your name for hours, and you wouldn’t have heard a word.
One hundred percent of your attentional capacity was taken up by the activity right in front of you.
Most likely you still experience a state of flow and engagement, but not as often as you like.
Engagement and flow are important for mental health. When you’re completely absorbed by a task, your mind has no capacity left over for distressing thoughts and emotions.
Relationships
Social support is an important buffer for life’s challenges.
That said, not all associations are created equal. Some relationships, unfortunately, lead to a deterioration in mental health.
Consider the following when you spend time with people:
Do you feel uplifted or drained?
Do you feel listened to or ignored?
Do you feel encouraged or criticized?
Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.
Meaning
Meaning comes from serving something bigger than ourselves.
Whether it be family, charity, occupation, or community, meaning unites us in a common vision and gives us the will to get through adversity.
Students Are My North Star
That said, meaning can appear elusive to some, so why not consider one purpose each day.
Begin with a typical workday. Choose one purpose, and do something to give meaning to that purpose.
I’ve listed a few options, as well as an example for each:
Pick one person — thank a custodian for their hard work.
Pick one place — post uplifting notes and quotes on a section of the wall.
Pick one time — declare 3 pm gratitude hour.
Achievement
Achievement is the final component of the PERMA model, and, in many ways, its foundation. Goals give us a sense of achievement and satisfaction, helping us to know if we are headed in the right direction.
The key is to balance our drive and determination with the right level of difficulty. If we set a goal that’s too easy, we get bored. If it’s too hard, we experience learned helplessness.
The solution?
Set daily goals that are achievable and tied into your highest dreams.
In Conclusion
Cultivating mental health daily prepares us for the big things in our life. Every little bit counts, everything adds up. Small things on repeat change the world.
The problem is most likely a focusing issue — not a memory issue.
An important distinction between memory and attention that I share in the focus video below.
In the video in particular, I describe how the Atkinson–Shiffrin memory model (see model below) differentiates between sensory, short-term, and long-term memory.
And the important implications this model has for one’s ability to focus and remember information long term.
You can’t do big things if you’re distracted by small things.
“While traditional psychology focused its attention on pathology and problems, in the relatively new field of positive psychology, researchers strive to explore and understand the strengths of individuals and communities that contribute to their flourishing.” Source: Psychology Guide
Strengths first.
I am passionate about what positive psychology can do for students and educators in and out of the classroom. By first focusing on what is right, before examining what is wrong, students are motivated to move beyond, and in some cases, be transformed by their current limitations, history, and circumstances.
Positive psychology is not about being happy and successful all the time. Instead, happiness is aspirational like a delicious meal at a 5 star restaurant. Wonderful but not to be expected, at every meal, all the time. (Otherwise, we set ourselves up for disappointment on the Kraft Dinner days.)
Instead, the field of positive psychology helps bring out the best in us. In a balanced way. The ebb and flow of life. Negativity is to be expected. The question is – how long do you stay there.
Safe uplifting atmosphere.
As a professor, I believe it is paramount to create a safe and uplifting atmosphere in the classroom. A secure and consistent milieu where students know what to expect class to class, week to week, semester to semester. A place where students are encouraged to build upon their existing strengths, while feeling supported enough to share their current struggles.
As I teach mostly nursing students, it is critical that I practice what I teach in and out of the classroom. Nursing students will also be responsible for creating an encouraging and safe space for their clients one day.
The yellow t-shirts are from the Yellow Umbrella Project, an Ontario wide college campaign for battling the stigma of mental illness on campus.
Positive psychology and student empowerment.
My highest goal is to work with young Canadians in a way that empowers and encourages them to become the best version of themselves. Cultivatingsuccess in a way that is unique to them. I believe that interactive lectures combined with warmth and real-life stories is the best approach for achieving this goal.
The photo below is from a leadership conference for college students where I discussed the connection between optimism and student success.
Celebrating students every chance I get.
Ultimately, I hope to remind students of their gifts. While encouraging them to embrace their challenges. For we are the sum total of all that is powerful and vulnerable – within and around us. And it’s this extraordinary combination of strong and weak, good and bad, light and dark, that makes our world and our classrooms such a fascinating place to live and thrive.
One of my favourite things to do as a professor is to stay after class and talk to students. They look at the world in a very unique way. Motivating me to think about psychology at a whole different level.
Especially when it comes to FOMO and happiness:
FOMO is an acronym for fear of missing out, which is a feeling of anxiety that manifests itself in various ways, from a brief pang of envy to more intense feelings of self-doubt or inadequacy. Source: Macmillan Dictionary
Student Insights
In the video below I share the insightful questions my psychology students asked about social comparison and happiness today. Each question underscoring the famous quote:
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Happiness, FOMO, and Social Comparison
FOMO and “measuring happiness” against each other’s’s lowlight reel (difficult times) and highlight reel (celebratory times) was also an active discussion on social media
This was my first video blog (vlog) ever! (Filmed July 2018) I was equal parts terrified and excited. Hence the breathlessness. Upside: I had a blast filming it
I recently had the opportunity to be interviewed on the Lemon Soul Podcast by an engaging and bright young woman named Sierra Parr.
It was one of the most rewarding projects I have worked on and I hope you find the same value in listening to the podcast as I had co-creating it with Ms. Parr.
Very honoured to sit down with Dr. Andrea Dinardo this week and divulge all my lemon soul questions with her. A true testament to her work as a psychologist and now psychology professor, this episode is FULL of good advice! With a deeper insight into many of our mental health struggles and the science behind how our brain is working. Furthermore diving into Dr. Dinardo’s personal life as she uncovers her fundamental inspiration for everything she does in life, her sister.
From psychologist to psychology professor!
How to motivate students!
Why connection is important. Compassion fatigue
The givers & the takers Setting boundaries for others and ourselves.
Thriving Under Pressure! Failure as Feedback! Are we socialized to care?
How to train your brain
Challenge, Control, & Commitment Honour your pain!
B r e a t h i n g s p a c e ! The universe box Claiming your prize GET MOVING!
I hope this podcast interview inspires you to take the road less traveled this week.
The one you have been waiting to take for days, months, perhaps years.
In reading people lesson #1 I discussed the importance of self awareness before attempting to understand and read others behaviour. “Self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom.”
In this one minute video clip, I apply the psychology of perception to help audience members read people and their body language. Including their nonverbal “tells” and signals.
The key is to pay close attention to how people’s words match (or don’t match) their nonverbal behaviours. A technique that works in poker too! ♣
To learn more on the topic of reading people, visit:
Reading People: Lesson #1 Self Awareness Video Clip
Reading People: Lesson #1 Self Awareness Blog Post
During my TEDx Talk I discuss how to thrive under pressure using three stress resilience tools:1) challenge, 2) commitment, and 3) control.
The purpose of this talk and my psychologyblog (both called thriving under pressure) is to help students develop coping techniques in fun, educational, and uplifting ways.
By first focusing onwhat is right, before examining what is wrong, students can be transformedby their challenges and adversities.
“Not until we are lost do we begin to find ourselves.”
No matter what happens today, know that in the end everything works out.
Trust me. I speak from experience.
My smile comes equally from a place of darkness and a place of light.
How would I ever know how good I have it today — if I hadn’t lived a life of challenge and adversity.
And the best part is that I get to revisit my twenties every single day.
A time where many of my life lessons were born.
Listening and learning with my psychology students on campus.
And staying in touch for years to come.
I will always be grateful for the tough times in my life — for this is where my strength lies.
I believe the same for you.
You are a diamond in the making.
This I know for sure. 💞💎
This blog post was created for all the students around the world writing final exams this week. Cheering them on! Encouraging them to not give up. This post is also meant for you – My Fellow Students of Life.
In this video clip of my keynote speech at the “You Can Do College Event” I share the biological origins of stress and anxiety with 300 high school students from Ontario, Canada.
In this segment, I also demonstrate simple strategies for dealing with high stress situations. Including deep breathing exercises, mindful awareness, and personal responsibility.
They say we only use 5-10% of our brain’s full potential.
A statement I tend to agree with.
Know thyself.
Understanding ourselves better, including our brains, is always the first step in tapping into what’s possible, within, and all around us.
Hacking the brain.
Did you know that fear and excitement share the same set of neurotransmitters, including dopamine, glutamate, and acetylcholine.
Opposite emotions. Identical neurotransmitters.
Same neural activity. Different cognitive appraisal.
And the best way to shift from performance anxiety to excitement is to say one sentence on repeat.
Journal of Experimental Psychology. 2014, Volume 143
Watch my latest YouTube video “Shifting from anxiety to excitement” to discover the simple phrase for shifting out of nervousness during high anxiety situations.
Hot coffee. Cozy blankets. Birds singing. The sun rising. Fast runs. Slow walks. Long days. Warm hugs. Peaceful silences. BLT sandwiches. Tomato soup. Matinee movies. Buttery popcorn. Ice cold pop. Walking on campus. Smiling in the hallways. Laughing with students. Learning from students. Driving home. Soulful conversations. Dreaming of the future. Reminiscing about the past. Living fully in the moment. Riding bikes. Dancing down the street. Barbeque dinners. Chocolate almonds. Stephen King novels. Hot Tea. Cozy Blankets. Birds Singing…
Nothing is more extraordinary than our ordinary joys. For how we live our days is how we live the whole of our lives.
I can’t imagine a better moment in life to learn about purpose and empowerment than when we are young.
Which is why I embrace every opportunity to share the principles of positive psychology with students across Canada.
The most recent opportunity being a conference called: “You Can Do College.”
600 grade 10 students from 14 high schools participated in the 2 day conference.
The purpose of the event was to introduce high school students to all the programs available to them when they graduate in a few years.
Showing them that if they work hard today — “They Can Do College” in the future. Whether it be as a civil engineer, a veterinary technician, a nurse, or an early childhood educator.
The choice is theirs to make
Students are our future.
My job as a Motivational Speaker was to ignite their inner flame for higher learning. This is what I was born to do! 🔥
Pay attention to the person right in front of you. They have something to teach you.
Connecting with audience members is essential for me. No matter how big or small the crowd.
Accordingly, I encouraged students to answer as many questions as they could (which they did!) as I walked and talked freely with the large crowd.
Hoping to meet as many of the 600 students as I could.
One of my favourite moments was when the young gentleman above shared his lifelong dream of becoming an engineer.
Just listening to his mission shifted me to a higher place.
The icing on the cake was hearing about destiny from a student named Destiny.
Destiny aspires to be a cosmetologist to the stars one day. How cool is that!
The next time you meet a student, ask them about their dreams. The stress they’re experiencing immediately disappears.
I purposely teach this topic during the height of midterms. Raising awareness about the healthy (and not so healthy) ways students manage stress is critical for building resilience.
Shifting Negative ⇒ Positive
One of my top 10 techniques for shifting students from stress to strength is to share what’s going right even (especially) when things are going wrong. Small uplifts in the course of the day change everything. Fleeting. Unexpected. Goodness.
Once we acknowledge what’s wrong. We open our eyes to the grace that takes place throughout the day.
“Good things are always happening. The key is to notice them.”
Students make the shift from powerless to empowered by sharing ordinary joys happening in their lives.
A radiant smile from a fellow commuter. Free coffee at McDonald’s. An unexpected A on a paper. A sweet parking spot. Spending time with an old friend. A surprise compliment from a stranger. Laughing out loud with fellow classmates. A really good night’s sleep.
And I’m the fortunate professor who gets to hear all these uplifts at the end of a long, rainy day. One more reason why I love working with students.
I am so excited to share that my TEDx video hit 1000 views today! 🎥
A BIG thank you for watching and sharing my TEDx talk with your friends and family. We are stronger than our stress. This I know for sure. Together we will thrive under pressure. 💥
In my TEDx Talk I discuss how to THRIVE under pressure using 3 stress resilience tools: challenge, control and commitment.
The purpose of this talk and my blog is to help students develop positive coping techniques in fun, interactive, and uplifting ways.
By first focusing on what is right, before examining what is wrong, students can be transformed by their challenges and adversities. 🌴💚
If you like, please share this TEDx video with friends and family on social media. The wider its reach, the more people I can help thrive under pressure!
I am excited to share an interview, photos, and a short video clip from yesterday’s TEDx Event at the University of Windsor. It was one of the most positive speaking experiences I’ve ever had. Truly magical.
TEDx Dr. Andrea Dinardo
TEDx Videoclip
TEDx Organizers
My Psychology Students 🍏
TEDx Slideshow
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TEDx Dr. Andrea Dinardo
TEDx Dream Team
Team TEDx
Thank you for letting me share my dream of being on the TEDx stage! The official TEDx video will be posted soon. 🎥
I have some exciting news to share! I was recently chosen to be a TEDx speaker for the University of Windsor TEDx Event on Sunday, January 28, 2018.
The theme of the event is “Diamonds from Pressure”. Which fits in beautifully with my psychology blog — Thriving Under Pressure.
TEDx Diamonds from Pressure
TEDx Posters Everywhere!
What are TEDx Talks?
“A TEDx event is an independently operated, community driven event. The talks are no more than 18 minutes in length, are idea-focused, and cover a wide range of subjects to foster learning, inspiration and wonder – and provoke conversations that matter.” Source: Ted.com
TEDx Preparation in Six Steps
The process of preparing a TEDx Talk has been quite different from any other keynote or seminar I have given. I have maximum 18 minutes to convey an original idea. So I have no choice but to get right to the point. Which is a very good thing!
Step 1: Create an Outline
In developing my speech, the first thing I did was create a storyboard for my TEDx script. (see below) I set it up like scenes in a movie. 5 scenes. 3-4 minutes per idea. 🎥
The purpose of my TEDx Talk is to help people thrive on their journey from stress to strength.
Step 2: Let Your Ideas Flow
This is where you let your imagination run free. Luckily inspiration flowed in from everywhere! So much so that while at the movies last month, I was struck by an idea with only a movie napkin nearby. So I did what all writers do, I wrote on whatever material I could find. Hoping to capture one fleeting burst of insight.
TEDX Napkin Edition
TEDx Ideas in the Making
Step 3: Edit TEDx Script
In case you’re wondering, there are approximately 2500 words in an 18 minute TEDx speech. Thus I have been equally busy downsizing, condensing, and editing my script. Focus is the goal. Less is more!
Step 4: Rehearse Rehearse Rehearse
Practice your TEDx speech as often as you can. In the mirror. On your run. In the car. At the mall. In front of anyone who is willing to listen. Stay open to feedback. As much as you can. Record yourself and listen back. This is especially important for hitting the 18 minute time limit. I used an audio to text dictation iPhone app called TEMI that helped tremendously.
Step 5: Take a TEDx Break
Now complete, it’s time to rest and enjoy some”Breathing Space“. As unrelenting work rarely fosters positive energy. Best to gear down before gearing up for the big TEDx day. Sign me up for a movie night, a kickboxing session, and a homemade dinner. Doctor’s orders. ♥
Step 6: Test out TEDx Red Carpet
TEDx Diamonds from Pressure is just 10 days away. The outline, the structure, and the body of TEDx complete. The stories worked out. The edits made. Just one last dress rehearsal on the TEDx stage!
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” C. S. Lewis
When was the last time you had to start over?
This was a big week back at St. College College — and all colleges across Ontario. Students were returning to school after a 5 week province-wide strike.
An arduous situation that was well beyond student control.
So it was essential that I foster a safe space for students to transition back onto campus and into my psychology classroom. To help them begin again.
My intention was to bridge the gap from stress to strength.
To remind them of times in their lives where they had experienced the stress of starting over. Including the strike. And triumphed despite all the suffering.
For it is in our dark times that we discover our light. And it is in our pain that we find our power. Difficult times force us to dig deep for courage and reach out for support.
And ultimately discover a strength far greater than any adversity.
This week I have never been more proud to be a college professor.
This week students taught me.
What strengths have helped you through challenge & adversity?
“The future of the world is in my classroom today.”
One of my first year BScN nursing students (Mona on the right) asked if I would sign the psychology textbook that I co-wrote and take a photo with her after class this week.
She said that an encouraging note and a picture with her professor would give her the motivation she needed to stay focused, work hard, and study throughout the semester.
Of course I said yes! It was a full circle moment. For my students are my motivation. And everything I do is with their success in mind.
Also pictured above are Sarah Ryrie (on the left) and Justin Fox (in the middle) – two St. Clair College alumni and former student representative council presidents who continue to inspire me today!
So many students come to class anxious and stressed out. The last thing on their minds is learning. Which is why I start each class by asking students what’s the best thing that’s happened to them today.
Reflection ◊ Connection ◊ Motivation
Their answers fascinate me. And give me insight into what motivates them. From simple to profound. From food to relationships. From money to purpose. From grades to destiny. And everything in between.
Less stress. More learning.
Interacting with students in fun and uplifting ways brings laughter and lightness to the classroom. It doesn’t take a lot of time. Yet it creates a significant shift in student stress and comfort levels.
Students need to feel safe. Students need to feel heard. Showing them you care (while having fun) works every time. Only then can the real learning begin!
Empowering
Thriving Under Pressure 