The Stars and The Scars

Leonard Cohen Quote DrAndreaDinardo.com

I see your light.

And your darkness.

And all your shades of grey.

That’s what makes you complete.

All the parts of you.

Integrating.

Changing. Transforming.

Simply being.

Accepting.

This moment. Yourself.

Whatever the day may bring.

Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen


Story behind the blog post

Yesterday someone asked me what my philosophy of psychology was. And the one word that kept coming to me over and over again was: Integration.

All the parts of ourselves. The scars and the stars. Just like coal and diamonds. Same element (carbon). Different manifestation.

Wholeness is the goal. Perfection is overrated.

Carl Jung Integration Wholeness DrAndreaDinardo.com

Helpful Psychology Resources

  1. Blog Post: The Shadow Effect
  2. Video Post: Healing Your Inner Critic
  3. Book: Bringing Your Shadow Out of the Dark
  4. Research: Self-Compassion Research Summarized
  5. Theory: Carl Jung’s Individuation and Wholeness Process

May Hope Rise Within You

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Wishing everyone an extra dose of hope + optimism at the start of this brand new month of May. 

  • Paradoxically, I have never felt so close to friends, family, and strangers since social distancing began.

A Worldwide Awakening 

8 billion people experiencing the same global event, at the same time – together. 

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Reflecting Back

This photo was taken at our first ladies night in our new house in Tecumseh, Ontario.

John and I had just gotten engaged. Just bought a house together.

And as you can tell from my big smile, I was excited to share this special moment with my friends.

Beautiful memories to be relived again.. very soon!

Always believe

 

Let Your North Star Guide You

My Wish For You Today

May you find peace in your home.

And calm in your heart.

No matter the storm.

PEACE is an inside job. DrAndreaDinardo.com

Psychology Thought for the Day

The goal isn’t to get rid of all our negative thoughts and emotions.

The goal is to change our response to them.

To accept them without judgement.

To transcend them when the time is right.

e·qua·nim·i·ty

Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. “She accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity”.

This video may help:

Let Your North Star Guide You 

How do you rise above? 💫

Watch Video of Post → Click Here

Celebrate how far you’ve come.

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Today let’s celebrate all the dreams that came true.

Merely an idea 5 years ago.

It’s so easy to get lost in our hopes and motivations for the future.

Without realizing how many of our aspirations we’ve already achieved.
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Together let’s honour how far we’ve come.

Only then will we have the fuel + the faith to keep reaching for our North Stars.

Again and again and again.. 🙏💛 🚀💫

Don’t Give Up!

You are closer than you know. ✨

Video of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here

Peace lives here.

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Peace happens in moments.

Not days.

Not weeks.

Not years.

Hot coffee.

Cozy blankets.

Birds singing.

The sun rising.

Peace happens in moments.

Not days.

Not weeks.

Not years.

Savour the sunshine.

Taste every morsel.

Dance with abandon.

Stroll by the moonlight.

Peace happens in moments.

Not days.

Not weeks.

Not years.

Breathe deeply into this moment.

Peace lives here.

Hope changes everything.

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H
old

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P ain

E nds

During difficult times, I often tell myself “What a difference a day makes.”

This one simple sentence helps me to remember that tomorrow is a brand new day.

Illuminating the possibility that what looks like the end in that dark moment, could in fact be preparing me for a whole new destiny.

This video and blog post were inspired by a very dear friend of mine experiencing unexpected health problems.

And how during treatment she often says that it’s my positivity and upbeat nature that brings her to a higher place.

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My friend knows what’s wrong.
I remind her of all that is right.

”Together we rise.” 🙏☀️

Share with me:

What gives you hope during difficult times?

Video of Blog Post: Click Here

EMPOWERING THOUGHTS

Choose the THOUGHTS that emPOWER you today.

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It takes

one word

one thought

one mantra

to shift our mind

from pain to power.

What will your empowering thought be this week?

I’d love to know.

Share your WORD in comments below ⤵️

uplifting thoughts

Related Post: Empowering Conversations

Thanks for visiting my psychology blog!

Dr. D 💖☀️

Words of Encouragement.

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The first thing that goes when we are faced with a stressor of any kind is the memory of all we have overcome in years gone by.

Let this be your daily, weekly, hourly reminder of how wildly capable you are.

Truly. Incredibly. Capable.

We might not be a genius at everything. But we are most definitely a genius at something.

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And if you ever need more than this note to remind you of your strengths, let me know in the comments below.

And I will shine a light on the luminescence that surrounds you.


Fun Activity  

What words resonate with you?

What jumps off the page?

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These are your strengths.✨

Finding the light.

How do you start the day?

Do your morning routines lighten you up?

Or bring you down?

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Early morning rituals spark the divine in me.

No matter the day. No matter the moment.

Angel cards, hot coffee, and mindfulness take me there.

Fueling my creativity. Illuminating my path. Shifting me higher.

Today’s Angel Reading — Click Here

Early morning rituals call forth the peace in me.

No matter the day. No matter the moment.

Angel cards, hot coffee, and mindfulness take me there.

In this sacred space I breathe in deep, let go, and freely release…

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Early morning rituals affirm the courage in me.

For I have finally found the light in me.

Ready to share ☀️ with all that I meet.

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Reflection Questions

How do you rediscover the light inside? What morning rituals shift you to a higher place?

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How we talk to ourselves matters.

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How we talk to ourselves matters tremendously.

Particularly in the eye of the storm.

Having a “go to” mantra in times of stress helps.

Especially in the uncomfortable (agonizing) moments between stress and strength.

Video of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here

A mantra that has helped me over the years is imagining myself:

g r o w i n g + e x p a n d i n g

during the dark times.

Chanting “I am expanding” as the rain falls.

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Today I wish the same for you.

May you see the blessing in every storm. 

Expanding you.

Preparing you. 

For the next level of your destiny.🎈

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Helpful Tips: Optimism Bootcamp

How brightly you shine.

Remembering Who You Are

The first thing that goes when we are faced with a stressor of any kind is the memory of all we have overcome in years gone by.

Wake Up Call

Let this be your daily, weekly, hourly signpost of how wildly capable you are.

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Truly. Incredibly. Strong.

And if you ever need more than this note, let me know. I will remind you how brightly you shine. 💎

Claim Your Prize

Inspiration is everywhere.

Today’s post is brought to you from my psychology classroom.

I hope it inspires you to claim the joy in your life.

Good vibes, after all, start on the inside.

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We spend so much time creating future opportunities that we often forget to claim the magic we’ve manifested – right in front of us. 🏆

Don’t wait for your dreams to happen.

Make them happen.

Stop wishing.

Stop waiting.

Seize the day.

Claim your prize. 💥

For full post: watch psychology video below.

If not now, when?

What’s your mantra?

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This is my mantra.

I write it on my bathroom mirror. I post it on my refrigerator door. I tape it to my office wall. I speak of it every time I teach.

These 4 words remind me to focus on what’s good, what’s working, what’s infinitely possible. Even (especially) when everything is going wrong.

Focus on the good.

Because if I can find one good thing in the course of a day, I have found my reason to live, to love, and to lead.

Sometimes the blessings are obvious. Sometimes they’re hidden. Sometimes it’s simply breathing. Other times “it’s the moments that take my breath away”.

Mantras wake us up.

Mantras work because they wake us up. Snap us out of it. They carry us from the perpetual loop of our worries to the equanimity of present time.

For we all need a gentle nudge in the right direction. A loving reminder to come back to reality.

Or we’ll all be too busy looking down that we miss the beauty of what’s right in front of us. Life itself. 💙

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What’s your mantra?

Related Post: Happiness in one word.

Here I am.

The aftermath.

No matter how many times I give a speech or participate in a big event, I am often left with the same feeling for a day or so.

Sadness. A kind of longing. A sense of emptiness.

For weeks, sometimes months, I practice, prepare, and edit my work. Immersed, focused, lost in the creative flow.

At night. On weekends. During all my free time. Hoping to do my best. Not wanting to let down.

Researching. Anticipating. Building  up to the main event.

Afterward, what was once was filled with busyness is an open space. A hollowness that cannot be filled by looking back or planning ahead.

An ache. A void. For no good logical reason.

A place inside that can only be filled in present time.

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So I go for a bike ride knowing how Mother Nature always soothes my heart and replenishes my soul.

There is no more looking back or ahead when I am outside.

At that moment I hear three words deep in my heart.

Here I am.

Here I am.

For solace cannot be found in travelling through time.

It can only be found in where you are right now.

Here I am.

in the blooming trees

in the birds soaring

in the sun setting

in the water flowing

in this moment wherever you are.

Here I am. 💚

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Hope.

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My husband John and I had dinner at this little restaurant in Niagara-on-the-Lake when I was away speaking at a conference this week. This single pink rose reminded me of the one thing that truly matters. HOPE. I have hope. In you. In me. In our future. I have hope. 💕 

Wishing you a long weekend filled with flowers and sunshine.

Related Post: Always looking up.

The key to happiness.

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Let go of what is outside your control.

The next time you are gearing up for another fight with reality. Winter; Traffic; Parking; Deadlines. Try rolling with it. Surrendering to what is. Letting go. No matter the circumstances.

Hold on to what brings you joy.

In surrendering, you save precious energy for the joyful in your life. The meaningful in your life. The soulful in your life. Including this very moment. This is where happiness lives.

Related Post: Letting Life Flow.

From Stress to Strength.

Challenge can be difficult. Adversity overwhelming. Growth painful. I agree!

Instead of seeing obstacles and stressors as taking you down.

Try perceiving challenges as taking you UP ↑

Again and again and again.

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For it’s in this uncomfortable space in between failure and success; breakups and makeups; exams and graduation — that strength is ultimately born. 💥

Make room for destiny

Are you ready to move on but are reluctant to let something go?

Letting go is not giving up.

Letting go is not giving in.

When you let go you make space for something better.

When you let go you generate energy needed for moving forward.

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Close your eyes. Clear your heart.

Breathe.

Let go of what no longer serves you.

Let go of what weighs you down.

Release.

In doing so, you make room for destiny.

Your highest purpose.  Your greatest calling.

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Your ultimate joy!

Lay down your burdens.

No more futile tests.

No more unrelenting trials.

No more self inflicted tribulations.

Lay down your burdens.

Let. Them. Go.

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Take a breath. Take a rest.

You have strengthened from your burdens.

You have overcome great obstacles.

You have developed. You have grown.

You have earned your freedom ten times over.

Trust your wisdom. Trust your wings.

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 This is your time to fly.

We were made to thrive.

Unless someone is going through a major life tragedy, I rarely, if ever, lean in and listen to someone’s day-to-day hassles.

Instead, I choose to give energy to their strengths not their struggles. To their light not their shadows. To their purpose not their pain.

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Because I know deep down in my heart that each challenge makes us stronger, each failure makes us wiser, and each daily stressor reminds us that we are alive!

Related Post: I believe in you.

Trust the music.

Stop expecting others to validate what you hear (see and feel).

The music is not “out there”.

The music is in you.

A beautiful melody that only you can hear.

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Listen. Be still. Take a long deep breath.

Fear not who you are. Fear not what you hear.

You are the symphony.

Trust the music that is in you.

And dance a little freedom dance. 

For all the world to see.

Related Post: I believe in you.

Let peace begin with me.

So much happens in the course of a day that is beyond our control. There are 100 ways to respond. And only 1 way that feels right.

Overslept. Choose peace.

Ran out of coffee. Choose peace.

 Stuck in traffic. Choose peace.

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Missed a deadline. Choose peace.

Technology overload. Choose peace.

Nonstop meetings. Choose peace.

Bossy coworker. Choose peace.

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Burnt dinner. Choose peace.

Argument with spouse. Choose peace.

Children acting up. Choose peace.

Unable to sleep. Choose peace. 

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Let peace begin with me.🌷

Helpful Video: Eckhart Tolle's Inner Peace Exercise (3 min)

Nature soothes my soul.

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This photo was taken on one of my daily hikes up Blue Heron Hill.

One of my favourite places to go at the end of a long wintery day.

Each breath. Each step. Shifts me higher.

To a place of perfect peace. At one with the great big beautiful sky.

A divine connection. No words necessary. Heaven on earth indeed.

Related Post: Always looking up.

Where do you go to calm your mind and soothe your soul?

From Fear to Love.

How do you talk to yourself?

Have you ever noticed that the more challenging life gets the more critical you are of yourself.

And the more critical you are of yourself the more challenging life becomes.

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It’s a fearful, exhausting, repetitive loop that feeds on itself.

When you’re under extreme pressure, the last thing you need is another self-talk rant of why you’re not good enough.

What you do need is a boatload of unconditional love.

 Resilience is built on love.

And so are you.

Today vow to give yourself the gift of more love, more kindness, more generosity.

A gift that will keep on giving.

Long after the stress is gone.

Find an affirmation or a positive quote that makes you stop, take a breath, and feel your heart beating deep inside.

Something that reminds you of how magical you truly are.

Post it on your fridge.

Write it on your mirror.

Save it on your phone.

Stress is surviving.

Love is thriving.

The next time you start beating yourself up over the smallest thing, take it as a sign that you need some extra love and tender care.

The more love you give yourself, the more generous, authentic, and compassionate all of your relationships will be.

Including the relationship you have with your innermost self.

Related: Mirror Affirmation Exercise

Gratitude multiples our treasures.

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This rollercoaster life.

Life is full of highs and lows. Wins and losses.  Joys and sorrows.  Celebrations and defeats. Too much and too little.

Make the shift.

Nothing shifts us from scarcity to abundance more quickly than a sudden moment of appreciation and gratitude.

Multiply your treasures.

Take a moment (this moment) to look up and breathe in all that you are grateful for. Right here. Right now.

Bless what is.

Be it the fresh air that you breathe. The clean water that you drink. The sunshine over your left shoulder. Your child playing nearby. The captivating twinkle your friend’s eye.

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The miracle in this moment.

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Miracles are everywhere.

The only catch is that we have to “be here now” to notice them.

Gratitude speeds their discovery.💫

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What are you grateful for?

Right here. Right now.

In this moment – I am grateful for this hot cup of coffee. And for this delicious lunch. I am grateful for Tim Horton’s camp day. I am grateful for the generosity of Tim Horton’s customers.  I am grateful to be Canadian.

Miracles are everywhere.

Your attention unlocks the key.

The miracle (of this moment) was that I was so wrapped up in the busyness of my day that I did not wake up to the fact that today was #CampDay. (A big deal for Canadians.)

It wasn’t until I began searching for what I was grateful for (in this moment in time) that I woke up to the vibrant coloured balloons and bold inscription on my Timmies coffee cup.

It wasn’t until I went looking for (and expecting) miracles that I realized I was surrounded by one. 💙

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Miracles are everywhere.

What do you see?

At this moment in time.

What are you grateful for? Right in front of you.

 

Miracles are everywhere.

They will set you free.

What miracle did you discover?

Right here. Right now.

What miracle did you find – that had been there all along?