The key to happiness.

On By Dr. Andrea DinardoIn Affirmation, Happiness, Mindfulness, Positive Psychology, Zen

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Let go of what is outside your control.

The next time you are gearing up for another fight with reality. Winter; Traffic; Parking; Deadlines. Try rolling with it. Surrendering to what is. Letting go. No matter the circumstances.

Hold on to what brings you joy.

In surrendering, you save precious energy for the joyful in your life. The meaningful in your life. The soulful in your life. Including this very moment. This is where happiness lives.

Related Post: Letting Life Flow.

61 thoughts on “The key to happiness.”

  7. There’s a passage in Robinson Crusoe to which I cleave. In it, the man of the modern world, stranded alone on an island, gets to the point where he stops missing the “things” of his former life, and realizes how precious are some of the simplest things he has. Fire, a spear, fresh water, food. He speaks with a sense of clarity as he observes man’s wasted agony, the want for that which he does not have. Then further observes that true and simple joy comes from being able to appreciate and be thankful for all that we do, in fact, have.
    If we venture into the intangible, it is even more meaningful for those not shipwrecked on an island. If we can appreciate and value the days we have before us, the comfort of loved ones, senses of security, simple pleasures in the world, and the beauty therein, we find ourselves rich with blessings.

    Seek peace,

    Paz

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  8. ACoutinho

    Fantastic post. Yes, letting go, stoicism… I agree. Its sometimes so challenging to be calm in crazy life situations when we are busy but… your post is a nice reminder that everything depend from us and our perspective.
    I’ve recently wrote one about happiness. Please let me know what do you think about it if you have a moment: https://mindset4progress.com/2018/03/07/how-to-be-happier-and-why-we-should-think-of-others-more/
    Aggie

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  11. This reminds me of Matthew 6:34 which says, “…never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles.” And Luke 12:25,26, “Who of you by being anxious can add a cubit to his life span? If, therefore, you cannot do such a small thing, why be anxious about the remaining things.” When we seek first the Kingdom and let go of everything else we find peace and contentment, not having to worry about what is out of our control. Thank you for reminding me of this.

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  17. Being empathetic and sensitive, often can give rise to overwhelming feelings as one very often doesn’t realise you are allowing others emotional situations to swamp your own.

    I would cry buckets and still shed tears for situations and people around our globe whose lives and circumstances I had no control over, Yet whose situations were affecting my own well being. For I was allowing their experiences to cloud my own.

    It took me a long while along my own journey of discovering myself, that in order not to feel down and depressed, I had to let go of those attachments that were not my own.

    And your words ring so so true.. We have to let go of things and situations we have no control over. And concentrate upon those areas of our life in which we do..
    Learning to embrace that JOY you speak of that brings us Happiness.. Often comes from the small things we can change in our own lives..

    We start to change the world into a Happier Place when we come to realise the only thing we can possibly change is our selves.. Our attitudes, our judgements of others and of ourselves, and learn to live in the now of our moments..
    For all too often we hang onto the past many holding onto bitterness and regret, or we hold onto worry and fear for the future..
    When in reality we can not control either.. What is gone is gone and done.. And what is to come is not known.
    The best advice you have so simply given in these few words are the very best advice to give..
    Enjoying our NOW moments , Surrender to it, Let go of fear, and Enjoy the present moment, For what we create Now, is what we will all reap in our future moments to come..

    A great Post Andrea. Thank you for you reminders and insights.
    Blessings Sue 🙂

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    1. Thank you! Your insights encourage me to dig even deeper on the topic of surrendering. You are bang on when you say that it is too often equated with giving up. When in fact it takes considerable discipline (up front) to walk away from a never ending fight with “what is”. Especially if you’re impulsive and results oriented like me. The upside is that the adrenaline and fight instinct eventually fades. And what replaces it is a beautiful clean slate of peace and positive energy! 💃💥

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    1. Tough, yes. Worth it, for sure!

      STRATEGY I find that if we focus more on what we want to invite into our lives.. (Joy; Peace; Purpose) It makes it easier to let go of, what we know deep in our heart, we have wanted to surrender for a very long time. (But did not have the courage or energy to do.) Be it thoughts, people, situations, or things..

      Less darkness. More light.
      This is our destiny. 💫

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    1. Thank you for sharing Matilda! Your frustrating day is the perfect example of this concept.

      Four times car breakdown! Wow! Yet, in that moment, you stopped fighting against the inevitable and surrendered to something better. REST. The ultimate antidote to stress. In giving up control, you found it again — in your joyful place. BTW Puttering around the house is my fav meditation.🏡💚

      ** You might enjoy this Post about Rest & Stress that I wrote for my nursing students (and blog followers): https://drandreadinardo.com/2017/12/01/work-hard-rest-repeat/

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  27. Helen Diane Wood

    What a gift you have my precious daughter. As one blogger so aptly wrote–” you spread your sunshine every day ” in so many ways. Indeed your message brings me joy and happiness knowing that you have found your key to happiness and
    furthermore you share your gift so freely. Bless you Andrea

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    1. Thanks Mom! Your unconditional love & support means the world to me. It’s because of you, that I have so much to give. As a fellow psychologist, you taught me to focus on what’s right — first. Then, and only then, do we have the strength (and confidence) to change that parts of ourselves (and our environment) that bring us pain. Forever grateful for your guidance & wisdom. 🌹❤️

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  28. I was struggling today and I realised what I needed to do was sit down in the comfy chair in my bedroom put my hand on my heart and say I accept this sadness and regret into my heart. I was then able to cry rather then beat myself up and it passed. Similarly when we accept the way others are even if its mean. We dont have to like it but we can accept it. ❤

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