You are enough, just as you are.💕
Mirror Exercise: Waking Up with Love
Mirror Exercise: Waking Up with Love
An analytic (below the surface) strategy originating in the psychoanalytic theories of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.
Freud’s Iceberg Analogy : Click Here
With the ultimate intention of enhancing inner peace and understanding.
To Learn More
Watch my in-depth interview on situational anxiety with Dr. Katherin Garland: https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=N7ttX6h_D8o
With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become
F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning
• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.
“Failure is the opportunity to begin again.”
Read My Article in The Drive Magazine: https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback
Watch Video of Post: Click Here
For Example: Anger
That said, it’s not as simple as becoming “more calm” or “less explosive”.
The Kübler-Ross Model provides insight:
The goal is to discover if angry thoughts, actions, or emotions are serving a purpose.
Is anger helping or hurting?
And if this is the case, the goal of psychology coaching is to help clients replace confrontations (for example) with more effective communication patterns.
Anger → Awareness
First: Set aside time to journal thoughts and emotions about “hot topics”. This allows for a cooling off period and a chance for self reflection and integration.
Second: Plan a mutually beneficial time to discuss anger triggers and solutions with friends and family.
This 2-step communication technique results in safe, open, and engaging conversations that move both relationships and actions forward. Win Win!
What about you?
Do you interpret their meaning?
Have you ever dreamt the same dream repeatedly?
Dream Symbol: Water
A “dream theme” I have at least twice a week.
If you’re curious about the psychology of dreams, leave a dream in the comments and I will interpret it for you.
Watch Video of Post: Click Here
But don’t we all?
Wondering if we still have what it takes.
Which is why I wrote this post today.
Take a breath. Enjoy some rest.
Give your monkey mind a break.
What comes also goes.
Related Post: Divine Timing
Everyone experiences time differently.
Because time truly is relative.
Time perception also varies from person to person.
Taken one step further, time defines who we are, and ultimately who we become.
How we live our days is how we live our lives.
Moments → Hours → Days → Months → Lifetimes
Which is why the more conscious and aware we become about how we spend and prioritize our time, the more meaningful and satisfying our lives will become.
Concrete Examples of Time Usage
Identify 5 ways you spend 100 units (dollars) of time each day. (As illustrated in the video)
Compare and contrast your “money time sheet” with family and friends.
When does time slow down for you? When does time speed up for you?
Are you more influenced by external measures of time?
Has your use of time changed since COVID?
The trouble is, you think you have time.
You will hear the remarkable stories of teachers, social workers, and principals who suffered greatly through illness, injuries, and difficult pregnancies.
Eventually rising up (with time and support) to greater heights in their current lives.
What is Post Traumatic Growth?
Post traumatic growth (PTG) can be defined as positive personal changes that result from the survivor’s struggle to deal with trauma and its psychological consequences.
The process of post traumatic growth can lead to 1. improved relationships, 2. more compassion, 3. openness, 4. appreciation for life, 5. spiritual growth, 6. personal strength, and 7. a renewed sense of possibilities in the world.
Original Source: http://www.ptsdassociation.com
1. Do you believe the benefits of adversity outweigh the negatives?
2. Which factors hinder an individual’s ability to recover and bounce back?
3. Which factors enhance an individual’s capacity for resilience and post-traumatic growth (PTG)?
4. Is the recovery and resilience for physical health trauma the same or different as mental health adversity? Why or why not?
Video of Blog Post → Click Here
Why Can’t I Remember Anything?
And the important implications this model has for one’s ability to focus and remember information long term.
You can’t do big things if you’re distracted by small things.
Thanks for your attention!
Dr. D 📚
Emotions are neither good or bad.
Only labeling makes it so.
Instead, lean in and ask:
Helpful Article with Strategies
Click Here: Lean into loneliness
1. What area of your life do you need to slow down in?
2. What area of your life do you need to REV IT UP in?
Order them in terms of A to D with A being what matters most.
A Priorities =
Studying for final exams.
Getting a good night’s sleep.
D Priorities =
Watching Netflix until 2am.
Repeatedly checking Facebook posts.
Complaining about past relationships.
What’s on your A list today?
This was my first video blog (vlog) ever! (Filmed July 2018) I was equal parts terrified and excited. Hence the breathlessness. Upside: I had a blast filming it
Watch this short video and consider the following questions:
So many people in this world are struggling with what to do with their lives.
An existential struggle that did not exist 100 years ago when jobs were more clearly defined.
Which is why it is essential to explore life purpose in many different ways.
We must not confuse life purpose with occupation.
My occupation = Psychology Professor.
My life purpose is to lift people up and help them feel better.
Something I can do on weekends, at work, with friends, in my community, and well into my retirement years.
Our occupation transpires 9-5. Our life purpose unfolds 24/7.
The topic of finding one’s life purpose was an active discussion on social media (see screen shot below) and in psychology class (link to video) this week.
Social Media: What’s my gift?
This is how I walked a fellow instagrammer through the process of (re)discovering their life purpose:
Life purpose is a way of being.
A way of living and giving.
It is all encompassing.
We are 1 in 7.5 billion.
No more waiting. No more searching.
A daily mission. Big and small.
Supporting others and sharing our gift.
Breath by breath. Step by step.
We are the dominos.
I hope you enjoy this video message on life purpose too.
If you’re anything like me (and Santa Claus), you answered yes.
Including the benefits of leaning into difficult emotions.
Because the more we try to fight discomfort, the longer it lasts.
“The root of all suffering is attachment.” Buddha
Stop fighting. Start flowing.
Let your stress drift gently through you.
Without judgment or condemnation.
Breathe and release.
Moment by moment.
Let go of what is outside your control.
Let go of expectations.
The pressure becomes lighter.
The joy becomes brighter.
Create your own traditions.
Fall in love with the night sky.
Savour a walk in the moonlight.
We can handle just about anything.
No matter what happens today, know that in the end everything works out.
Trust me. I speak from experience.
My smile comes equally from a place of darkness and a place of light.
How would I ever know how good I have it today — if I hadn’t lived a life of challenge and adversity.
And the best part is that I get to revisit my twenties every single day.
A time where many of my life lessons were born.
Listening and learning with my psychology students on campus.
And staying in touch for years to come.
I will always be grateful for the tough times in my life — for this is where my strength lies.
I believe the same for you.
You are a diamond in the making.
This I know for sure. 💞💎
This blog post was created for all the students around the world writing final exams this week. Cheering them on! Encouraging them to not give up. This post is also meant for you – My Fellow Students of Life.Related: I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past
Our right brain lives in the here and now.
The other sinks into the present moment, trusting all is well.
I choose my right brain.
All is well.
A walk around Blue Heron Lake.🍃
Related Post: Is Happiness a Choice?
As we head into the weekend, may we all be reminded of the importance of rest in striving for success.
An hour or a day.
“What you seek is seeking you”.
You hold the key. 🔑
I met a delightful group of people at a dinner party this past Saturday night. Which of course (like all social occasions) got my psychologist mind percolating.
Particularly when one of the guests leaned in halfway through dinner and stated “Andrea, you seem like the kind of person who never worries”. At which point my husband (laughed) chimed in and said “Oh she worries. Plenty”.
This conversation brings up three important points. One, how truly multifaceted we are. Two, how those closest to us know us best. And finally, how we (write) teach what we ultimately need to learn.
I am not one thing. And neither are you. We are all multifaceted. Equally.
Related Post: Who are you?
No matter how many times I give a speech or participate in a big event, I am often left with the same feeling for a day or so.
Sadness. A kind of longing. A sense of emptiness.
For weeks, sometimes months, I practice, prepare, and edit my work. Immersed, focused, lost in the creative flow.
At night. On weekends. During all my free time. Hoping to do my best. Not wanting to let down.
Afterward, what was once was filled with busyness is an open space. A hollowness that cannot be filled by looking back or planning ahead.
An ache. A void. For no good logical reason.
So I go for a bike ride knowing how Mother Nature always soothes my heart and replenishes my soul.
There is no more looking back or ahead when I am outside.
At that moment I hear three words deep in my heart.
Here I am.
For solace cannot be found in travelling through time.
It can only be found in where you are right now.
in the blooming trees
in the birds soaring
in the sun setting
in the water flowing
in this moment wherever you are.
Here I am. 💚
What we believe matters. As it’s our mindset that shapes our physiological and emotional response to stressful circumstances. Ultimately, determining our ability to bounce back after adversity.
For example, when a relationship ends, if we view it as a personal failure, from a place of blame and shame, we are less likely to try again. Afraid to risk the pain, reluctant to venture beyond our comfort zone.
On the other hand, if we perceive the same breakup as an opportunity to learn. To begin again. To start over. Fresh. Renewed. We are more open to meeting someone new.
Today I am grateful for all of my relationship failures. For if it weren’t for the loss, the heartache, and the lessons, I never would met the wonderful man that I am married to today.
It was not easy at the time. Challenge rarely is. But if we just keep our eyes to the sky, and trust that no matter what we are going through, it will all be worth it in the end.
I hope you find comfort in your discomfort. And beauty in the stars.
Related Post: Lay down your burdens.
My highlight of 2017 and every year since 2003 has been teaching psychology at St. Clair College.
I am so grateful for all the incredible students I’ve had the pleasure to meet and teach.
It has been a long and bumpy road to get here. But I wouldn’t change a thing.
Every twist. Every turn. Every high. Every low. This is what makes life so darn interesting.
To All Nursing Students, including my own:
If I were to assign any homework this week it would be to take a break.
10 minutes at a time.
5 times a day.
Because you have all worked exceptionally hard the past five weeks.
And a good rest is half the work.
Not exactly as you had planned.
You are still here.
This is something to celebrate.
Because showing up and being fully present is the essence of being a spectacular nurse.
And training to be a nurse is as much about the journey as the knowledge itself.
Take a rest.
For ALL that brought you here.
Not just one paper. Or one test.
Because the only way to finish a marathon is to take the water from the sidelines, eat the food along the way, and most importantly celebrate every step in the journey.
No matter how small.
No matter how challenging.
Every step of the way.
Dr. D 😊
And if you need an extra boost in the first semester of the second year of your BScN collab nursing program:
I have the pleasure of starting each day with my husband John.
Each morning begins at 6am with an hour of coffee talk weekends included.
No alarm clock necessary.
Having something as wonderful as hot coffee and good conversation to look forward to each day is its own wake up call.
This morning I asked John to share why he thought he was born.
Deep talk, I know.
But that’s just how life rolls when you’re married to a psychologist.
John’s answer: “To make one person’s life better that day.”
To which I replied: “Purpose achieved.” (He makes the best coffee!)
This conversation got me thinking about how important it is to live our purpose in short 24 hour segments. Too long a timeline and we feel lost and overwhelmed.
Name the purpose. Claim the day. Leave the details up to the universe.
Who. What. Where. When. How. Are spontaneous.
Simply be on the lookout for one opportunity to be on purpose for one day.