Anger is a sign that something needs to change.

Anger Quote DrAndreaDinardo.com

One of the most common requests from my psychology coaching clients is to help them find healthier ways of expressing their emotions.

For Example: Anger

That said, it’s not as simple as becoming “more calm” or “less explosive”.

The first step in transformation and lasting change is assessment.

The Kübler-Ross Model provides insight:

5 Stages of Grief and Change

BELOW THE SURFACE EXPLORATION

The intention is to discover if angry thoughts, actions, or emotions are serving a purpose.

Is anger helping or hurting?

How is anger serving you

Why Anger?

Perhaps anger allows someone to speak up, say no, set a boundary, or bond with friends.

And if this is the case, the goal of psychology coaching is to help clients replace confrontations (for example) with more effective communication patterns.

PSYCHOLOGY HOMEWORK

Anger → Awareness

First: Set aside time to journal thoughts and emotions about “hot topics”. This allows for a cooling off period and a chance for self reflection and integration.

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Second: Plan a mutually beneficial time to discuss anger triggers and solutions with friends and family.

This 2-step communication technique results in safe, open, and engaging conversations that move both relationships and actions forward. Win Win!

Reflection Questions

  1. What Purpose Does Anger Serve in Your Life? Gains versus Losses?
  2. Does It Strengthen or Deplete You?
  3. Does Anger Move You Further Away from Your Dreams or Closer to Your Dreams?
  4. What In Your Life Needs To Change?
  5. Do You Need More Effective Ways of Coping with Frustration and/or Loss?

Once you understand the underlying purpose anger serves in your life, you’re ready for the next stage in the change process:

Transition and Transformation

Change Quote DrAndreaDinardo.com.

Psychology Resources

  1. New Conceptualizations of Anger: https://www.apa.org/monitor/mar03/advances
  2. How Anger Affects the Body: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/the-mind-body-connection/202007/what-causes-anger-and-how-it-affects-the-body
  3. Healthy Anger Release Techniques: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-release-anger
  4. Assessing Motivation To Change: https://drandreadinardo.com/2018/08/18/why-change-now
Video of Blog Post: Click Here

Your Dreams Have A Message For You

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One of the first things I do every morning is analyze my dreams.

What about you?

Do you remember your dreams?

Do you interpret their meaning?

Have you ever dreamt the same dream repeatedly?

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In the video below I share the dream I had last night.

Dream Symbol: Water

A “dream theme” I have at least twice a week.

Dream Discussion Forum

If you’re curious about the psychology of dreams, leave a dream in the comments and I will interpret it for you.

Sweet Dreams! Dr. D 🛌 💭

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Learn More

  1. Online Dream Symbol Dictionary: What Do Your Dreams Mean?
  2. Active Imagination“:  Jungian Recall Strategy
  3. Brain Processes that Allow You to Remember Dreams: Scientific American
  4. Mind Mapping Your Dreams:  Spatial and Visual Dream Exercise
  5. A to Z of Dream Interpretation: What Dreams Reveal About Our Lives, Loves, and Deepest Fears. (The Dream Book Pictured Above)
Watch Video of Post: Click Here

Featured

The Space Between No Longer and Not Yet

Honour the Space

The time in between is a difficult time for all of us.

Myself included.

A super organized (type A) person like me becomes a little unhinged in the space in between.

But don’t we all?

In Between

Wondering if we still have what it takes.

Hoping we can still make a difference in the world when the pandemic ends.

Which is why I wrote this post today.

Highlighting the shared challenge we all face between the old and the new.

Change is a lifelong process.

Let yourself feel what you need to feel.

Take a breath. Enjoy some rest.

Give your monkey mind a break.

In Between Quotes

It’s ok to not be ok.

What comes also goes.

Honour the space in between.

Related Post: Divine Timing

Rethink Time Management

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Psychology of Time

Everyone experiences time differently.

Because time truly is relative.

Changing from situation to situation.

For example:

Time perception also varies from person to person.

For example:

Type A versus Type B

Time Defines Us

Taken one step further, time defines who we are, and ultimately who we become.

How we live our days is how we live our lives.

Moments → Hours → Days → Months → Lifetimes

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Mindful Time Management

Which is why the more conscious and aware we become about how we spend and prioritize our time, the more meaningful and satisfying our lives will become.

Time is Money Video

Concrete Examples of Time Usage

Rethink Time

Identify 5 ways you spend 100 units (dollars) of time each day. (As illustrated in the video)

  • For example: gardening (20 units), reading (20 units), writing (20 units), cooking (20 units), complaining (20 units)

Compare and contrast your “money time sheet” with family and friends.

When does time slow down for you? When does time speed up for you?

  • Do you lose “track” of time easily?
  • Is time something you consciously pay attention to?

Are you more influenced by external measures of time?

  • Or an internal “sense” of time?

internal clock.

Has your use of time changed since COVID?

Has your perception of time changed with age?

  • If so how?

The trouble is, you think you have time.

Jack Kornfield

Watch Video of Blog Post → Click Here

Post Traumatic Growth: Can Adversity Be Good for You?

Can Adversity Be Good for You?

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In my latest video from a Positive Psychology Keynote at a Student Success Conference:

You will hear the remarkable stories of teachers, social workers, and principals who suffered greatly through illness, injuries, and difficult pregnancies.

Eventually rising up (with time and support) to greater heights in their current lives.

Hear Their Stories in Video Below:

What is Post Traumatic Growth?

Post traumatic growth (PTG) can be defined as positive personal changes that result from the survivor’s struggle to deal with trauma and its psychological consequences.

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The process of post traumatic growth can lead to 1. improved relationships, 2. more compassion, 3. openness, 4. appreciation for life, 5. spiritual growth, 6. personal strength, and 7. a renewed sense of possibilities in the world.

Original Source: http://www.ptsdassociation.com

Additional Resources

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Reflection Questions

1. Do you believe the benefits of adversity outweigh the negatives?

2.  Which factors hinder an individual’s ability to recover and bounce back?

3. Which factors enhance an individual’s capacity for resilience and post-traumatic growth (PTG)?

4. Is the recovery and resilience for physical health trauma the same or different as mental health adversity? Why or why not?

Video of Blog Post → Click Here

Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become

F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning

• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.

• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.

• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

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Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?

Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives

• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.

• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.

• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.

• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.

“Failure is the opportunity to begin again.”

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Source: https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback

 Your Turn:

What life lessons has failure taught you?

5 Ways to Focus Better | The Drive Magazine

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Why Can’t I Remember Anything?

One of the most frequent questions I was asked as a practicing psychologist and more recently as a psychology professor is why can’t I remember anything.

The problem is most likely a focusing issue — not a memory issue.

An important distinction between memory and attention that I share my Fall Focus Article in The Drive Magazine. And again, in more detail, in the focus video below.

In the video in particular, I describe how the Atkinson–Shiffrin memory model (see model below) differentiates between sensory, short-term, and long-term memory.

Dr. Andrea Dinardo - Focus Article.6

And the important implications this model has for one’s ability to focus and remember information long term.

You can’t do big things if you’re distracted by small things.


Link to Fall Focus Article

5 Ways to Focus Better

Issue 124. The Drive Magazine.
Click Here: thedrivemagazine.com/posts/5-ways-to-focus-better

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Click Here: YouTube Understanding Memory

Thanks for your attention!

Dr. D 📚

Your emotions have a message for you.

Create space for feelings to flow.

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Emotions are neither good or bad.

Only labeling makes it so.

Don’t run from challenging emotions.

Instead, lean in and ask:

“What are you trying to tell me?”

Witness. Observe. Learn.

The best part is how small fear appears close up!

We must go in — to get through.

Helpful Article with Strategies

Click Here:  Lean into lonelinessDriveLoneliness

Save your energy for what matters most.

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Time & Energy Audit

1. What area of your life do you need to slow down in?

2. What area of your life do you need to REV IT UP in?

ABCD Priority List

Make a list of all the things that you have to do today.

Order them in terms of A to D with A being what matters most.

For example:

A Priorities =

Eating healthy.

Studying for final exams.

Getting a good night’s sleep.

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D Priorities =

Watching Netflix until 2am.

Repeatedly checking Facebook posts.

Complaining about past relationships.

In this video I walk students through the ABCD process.

Our life changes when our priorities change.

What’s on your A list today?

Manage energy not time. Positive energy multiplies.

Awareness is the first step to increasing vitality.

What you give energy to matters tremendously.

Thoughts. Emotions. Actions. People.

Some drain. Others invigorate.

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Where to start?

I made a video to help people become more conscious of what depletes their energy and what lifts them up.

Including the Energy Audit a simple and easy-to-use technique for monitoring the ebb and flow of energy that we all experience throughout the day.

Heightened awareness and monitoring is especially important for people who struggle with low energy and lack of time. Helping them to identify the source of their energy leaks and peaks.

Energy Audit Technique:

Time versus Energy Management

Rather than focusing on time, which is finite, I suggest that we turn our attention to energy management, which in turn expands the amount of time we have.

Because when we feel energized, we can do twice as much in half the time.

Positive Energy Multiplies

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Takeaway

Your energy is your currency.

Spend it well.

Invest it wisely.


Reflection Questions:

  1. How do you manage your energy throughout the day?
  2. Is energy something you consciously pay attention to?
  3. What is your energy level on a scale of 1-10 right now?
  4. What (who) energizes you? What (who) drains you?
  5. Will you try the ENERGY AUDIT technique I share in the video?

This was my first video blog ever!  (Filmed July 2018) I was equal parts terrified and excited. Hence the breathlessness. Upside: I had a blast filming it