First impressions

I met a delightful group of people at a dinner party Saturday night.

Which of course, like all social occasions, got my psychologist mind percolating.

Particularly when one of the guests leaned in halfway through dinner and stated: “Andrea, you seem like the kind of person who never worries”.

At which point my husband laughed very loudly and said: “Oh she worries. Plenty”.

The surface of the iceberg is a glimpse of what lies below.


I am not one thing.

And neither are you.

We are all multifaceted.

I worry. I ruminate. I relax. I overachieve. I have doubt. I have faith. I am carefree. I am confident. I am weak. I am strong. I people please.



We are all multifaceted

Psychology Post: Who are you?

Who are you?

What would people be surprised to learn about you?

42 thoughts on “First impressions

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  1. I’m ultimately very lazy. A trick I learned from my grandmother was to get all my work done early so that I can relax later. Of course, most days, the relax part of the day never arrives, but at least all my tasks are done.

    1. Our personal challenges fuel our strengths. In so many unexpected ways. Your story is the perfect example of this. For I never would have surmised your “below the surface” traits based on what’s above the surface. Thanks for sharing! Brilliant example.

    1. My sweet Brad. If only you knew how quietly and softly you’ve touched the hearts of your readers. Including mine.

      And thank you for sharing your truest self. Courage is the magical combination of vulnerability and strength. This is how I see you. All multifaceted layers equally.

      🌺 🌹 🌺

  2. I worry too – mostly about the little things. I took a bus trip last week, and worried that the very fragile lady sitting next to me would not be able to get up in time to let me off at my stop!

    1. You are so adorable Brigid. The ups & downs of a tender hearted lady. I was blessed (and cursed) with the same hypersensitivity. Passed down through 3 generations on my Mom’s side. A frequent discussion amongst us.

      Thank you for visiting from Ireland!
      You always light up my page. 💛💫

  3. I have diagnosed anxiety. I’m always afraid of saying the wrong thing, and embarrassing either myself or someone else. I’m convinced I carry stress in my shoulders.

  4. “Do I contract myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”

    I’ve always liked this quote by Walt Whitman because it reminds me of me! LOL

  5. That is a great image (the iceberg) illustrating everything that goes into our behavior. For me, when my beliefs, values, and behavior are in harmony I usually feel pretty darn good. It’s one of my daily goals, as a matter of fact, to make sure they are in harmony. Have a fabulous day!

  6. Thanks for this. Your posts always manage to strike a chord. Many people tell me I am courageous – something I’ve never identified with – and it sets me up to feel like I need to be more. Perhaps I am courageous and frightened too, and that is okay.

    1. I love your reflection on this post VJ.

      People are always so surprised that a “psychologist” like me, could be anything but scholarly 24/7. And I am living proof of the complex nature of personality. I am all things and nothing – equally.

      Just like the nuances of health and happiness that you write about. You are brave to the outside world, yet frightened equally. And this is what makes you so beautiful. You are not just one thing.

      A rose .. without her thorns.. is not a rose. 🌹

  7. I would describe myself as chiefly a rational person, and rational people who know me well are aware that I think about things in analytical ways and that I can articulate why I do this or that or why I believe such and such.

    What I suspect people don’t know about me is that I hold a few seriously weird ideas. I don’t necessary “believe” these ideas, but they seem to me like possible descriptions of reality. Some of the ideas are strange enough that I am not likely ever to share them with anyone — and for “rational” reasons too!

    1. I love strange & wierd! This is the source of most (all) independent thought and creativity!

      Thanks for sharing Aletha. I tip my hat to your unexpected, below the surface, irrational nature. 🎩🎉

  8. Great thought! I worry and feel sorry way too much as much. That’s one of the side effects of my brain injury that I have to deal with. Most of the time people understand this. The looks that I get sometimes from new people who don’t know my story is often amusing when apologize for the small things.

    1. Thank you for sharing your story. Your reflections give my post life! And moreover, I can relate very much to your health challenges on a personal note.

      My big sister Noelle also has a brain injury. Acquired at the tender age of 19. Her day-to-day challenges become our entire family’s lessons.

      As every time she needs slow down and to catch her breath (literally & figuratively), it encourages the rest of us Type A overachievers in the family to count their blessings. Beginning and ending with my big sister, my hero, Noelle. xo

  9. This reminds me of a similar conversation I had with my husband. I told him that people thought I didn’t cry, to which he replied, “Well, they don’t know you at all.” lol It’s so funny how we can spend time with people, yet never really get below the surfacey stuff.

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