Additional Speeches: Click Here Resilience Articles: https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/optimism-bootcamp https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/three-ways-to-bounce-forward https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback Additional Articles: Click Here
At a recent leadership conference, student leaders from St. Clair College’s Student Representative Council SRC had the opportunity to ask questions live during the final portion of the virtual training event.
One Question Stood Out The Most
What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?
In the video below, I share my answer.
Even during COVID-19.
For the pandemic has not changed my optimistic perspective on life and learning.
If anything, COVID-19 has underscored my belief in posttraumatic growth and resilience.
For everybody.
Growth is the only evidence of life.
John Henry Newman
Video of Post: Click Here
Especially at the start of a brand new day.
A topic I talk about with love and laughter in this video workshop:
Step One: Awareness
Begin by WAKING UP to your inner dialogue tomorrow morning.
Is it loving? Is it kind?
Step Two: Mirror Affirmations
Write an encouraging quote for yourself on your bathroom mirror.
Pick any one of the quotes you’ve shared with the world on social media this past year and post it for yourself on your bathroom mirror.
It only takes one thought, one word, one smile, one song, to change a life.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
Wishing everyone an extra dose of hope + optimism at the start of this brand new month of May.
8 billion people experiencing the same global event, at the same time – together.
This photo was taken at our first ladies night in our new house in Tecumseh, Ontario.
John and I had just gotten engaged. Just bought a house together.
And as you can tell from my big smile, I was excited to share this special moment with my friends.
Beautiful memories to be relived again.. very soon!
And calm in your heart.
The goal is to change our response to them.
To transcend them when the time is right.
e·qua·nim·i·ty
Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. “She accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity”.
Let Your North Star Guide You
Watch Video of Post → Click Here
Judged and scrutinized.
Like all eyes are on you and every potential error you make?
Think back to the first time you gave a dinner party, swung a golf club, wrote a college exam, or posted your first blog online.
Individuals with social anxiety experience this sense of being watched (and thought about) significantly more than the average person.
Independent of skills and expertise.
One potential explanation is a psychological phenomenon called imaginary audience experienced frequently in adolescence.
Think back to how easily embarrassed you were as a teenager.
Resulting in perpetual self-consciousness, distorted views of how others saw you, causing in a tendency to conform for fear of sticking out.
Two studies explored imaginary audience phenomenon among college students.
Imaginary audience behavior was found to be related to measures of social anxiety, self perception, and personality.
Furthermore, imaginary audience scores were more strongly related to anxiety than abstract reasoning.
These results suggest that imaginary audience experiences that persist into early adulthood have more to do with social anxiety than with cognitive development.
Original Source: Click Here
The next time you imagine you are being watched, talked about, or judged by others, remember that imaginary audience IS AN ILLUSION heightened by social media, physiology (eg., lack of sleep), and overthinking.
This is a very good thing!
Live like nobody’s watching. Love like nobody’s watching. Succeed like nobody’s watching. Fail like nobody’s watching. Write like nobody’s watching!
Video of Post ⇒ Click Here
You finally understand WHY the job, the partner, the degree, the house, the friendship, the ______ didn’t work out.
BUT what about in the “here and now”?
How do we make the leap of faith during the darkest of days?
t h r o u g h ..
into a place of trust and belief.
Respect
The
Process
Your journey is unfolding in the most magical and mysterious of ways.
“What if I fall … oh my darling … what if you F L Y..”
Related: Optimism Bootcamp Workshop
1. What would you stop doing if you only had one year to live?
2. What would you start doing if you only had one year to live?
3. What do you need to let go of to feel a sense of happiness, well-being, and peace?
4. What and who do you no longer want to be obligated to?
5. What joy do you wish you had more time for?
Take a long deep breath and meditate on your answers. You’ll be surprised at what your soul has to say.
Related Post: Empowering Conversations
Thanks for visiting my psychology blog!
Dr. D 💖☀️
How we talk to ourselves matters tremendously.
Particularly in the eye of the storm.
Having a “go to” mantra in times of stress helps.
Video of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here
A mantra that has helped me over the years is imagining myself:
during the dark times.
Today I wish the same for you.
May you see the blessing in every storm.
Preparing you.
Helpful Tips: Optimism Bootcamp
We live in a world weighed down by disaster, debt, and divorce. So it’s no surprise that we’ve been conditioned to believe that tragedies require tragic mindsets.
That serious issues demand serious attitudes. That hardships necessitate hardened spirits.
Thankfully we also live in a world overflowing with abundance, joy, and love. Same world. But we can’t see the good when we’re overwhelmed by the bad.
Making the shift from stress to strength can happen in a number of ways.
Laughter = instant stress relief. Taking a long deep breath runs a close second.
Laughter breaks the panic spell. The not enough mindset. The woe is me attitude. The negativity downturn.
Laughter connects people in present time. Friends and strangers! Think of the last time you laughed out loud with a cashier in the grocery line. (For me, it was last night ;.)
Today’s challenge is to lighten up. To breathe deeply into what stresses you.
To leave room for grace. To respond with a light heart and an open mind. To dance a little dance. To laugh with friends. To nourish your soul.
Ultimately to remember who you were – before life weighed you down.
For it’s in our joy that we find our voice. It’s in our abundance that we embrace our authenticity.
It’s in our laughter that we save the day.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
Be still.
Take a rest.
As often as you can.
Pause at the end of my video ⬆️ for 30 fun self-care ideas.
Please share in the comments below.
As we head into the weekend, may we all be reminded of the importance of rest in striving for success.
An hour or a day.
“What you seek is seeking you”.
You hold the key. 🔑
This post was inspired by a stressful situation that I couldn’t let go of, long beyond its solution. No matter how hard I tried. Day in day out. The worry would reappear. Then someone close to me suggested “I shed the stress”. And a lightbulb went off. Each time the repetitive thought appeared, I imagined a tree shedding its leaves. A golden leaf for every anxious thought. This visualization process made all the difference. And so did writing about it. 📝🍂
What would you say good-bye to?
Once and for all.
It could be an emotion. Or a thought.
A relationship. Or a job.
A place or a thing.
It’s time to let go of what drains you.
Let go of what holds you back.
Let go of what keeps you down.
It could be a mindset. Or a memory.
A situation. Or an attitude.
Write it down. Shout it out.
It’s time to let go of what weighs you down.
Release it to the universe.
Declare your freedom.
Vow to move on and beyond.
Once and for all.
Related Post: Face it — You’re Strong!
I write it on my bathroom mirror. I post it on my refrigerator door. I tape it to my office wall. I speak of it every time I teach.
These 4 words remind me to focus on what’s good, what’s working, what’s infinitely possible. Even (especially) when everything is going wrong.
Because if I can find one good thing in the course of a day, I have found my reason to live, to love, and to lead.
Sometimes the blessings are obvious. Sometimes they’re hidden. Sometimes it’s simply breathing. Other times “it’s the moments that take my breath away”.
Mantras work because they wake us up. Snap us out of it. They carry us from the perpetual loop of our worries to the equanimity of present time.
For we all need a gentle nudge in the right direction. A loving reminder to come back to reality.
Or we’ll all be too busy looking down that we miss the beauty of what’s right in front of us. Life itself. 💙
Related Post: Happiness in one word.
Related Post: Always looking up.
Instead of seeing obstacles and stressors as taking you down.
Try perceiving challenges as taking you UP ↑
Again and again and again.
Related Post: Lay down your burdens.
Are you ready to move on but are reluctant to let something go?
Letting go is not giving in.
When you let go you generate energy needed for moving forward.
Close your eyes. Clear your heart.
Let go of what weighs you down.
Your highest purpose. Your greatest calling.
Related Post: You hold the key.
So many students come to class anxious and stressed out. The last thing on their minds is learning. Which is why I start each class by asking students what’s the best thing that’s happened to them today.
Their answers fascinate me. And give me insight into what motivates them. From simple to profound. From food to relationships. From money to purpose. From grades to destiny. And everything in between.
Interacting with students in fun and uplifting ways brings laughter and lightness to the classroom. It doesn’t take a lot of time. Yet it creates a significant shift in student stress and comfort levels.
Students need to feel safe. Students need to feel heard. Showing them you care (while having fun) works every time. Only then can the real learning begin!
Which is why we must make the conscious decision to talk about our blessings more than our challenges. Our strengths more than our stressors. Our excitement more than our fears. Our possibilities more than our problems.
But we have to see them to know them.
Related Post: Set a time limit on negativity.
No more unrelenting trials.
Lay down your burdens.
You have strengthened from your burdens.
You have developed. You have grown.
Trust your wisdom. Trust your wings.
As a positive psychologist, I often write about the bright side of life. Including harnessing strengths, enhancing motivation, and flourishing in the wake of adversity.
While strengths are vital to realizing one’s full potential – it’s not the whole picture when it comes to living a balanced life.
We must also create a safe place to welcome the parts of ourselves (and our life) that weigh us down and cause us despair.
In doing so, we soften the grip of its pain. Whether it be suffering from years gone by or a hardship in current time.
Give disappointments, conflicts, and lost dreams room to breathe.
You are not inadequate because you have depression. You are not unworthy because you’re divorced. You are not unloveable because you have anxiety. You are not undesirable because you’re unemployed. You are not undeserving because you’re broke.
Life ebbs and flows, comes and goes. Like the waves on the ocean shore. You are forever. Your potential grows. It’s ok not to be ok. What comes – also goes.
Unless someone is going through a major life tragedy, I rarely, if ever, lean in and listen to someone’s day-to-day hassles.
Instead, I choose to give energy to their strengths not their struggles. To their light not their shadows. To their purpose not their pain.
Because I know deep down in my heart that each challenge makes us stronger, each failure makes us wiser, and each daily stressor reminds us that we are alive!
Related Post: I believe in you.
I was thinking about time tonight. It’s like a never ending circle that starts and stops at the same place. A perpetual loop heightened on a Sunday night.
And the only way to slow it down is to breathe in each moment. To notice each ephemeral hour. To rest gently in the arms of time.
Related Post: The Sweet Spot
Overslept. Choose peace.
Ran out of coffee. Choose peace.
Stuck in traffic. Choose peace.
Missed a deadline. Choose peace.
Technology overload. Choose peace.
Nonstop meetings. Choose peace.
Bossy coworker. Choose peace.
Burnt dinner. Choose peace.
Argument with spouse. Choose peace.
Children acting up. Choose peace.
Unable to sleep. Choose peace.
Helpful Video: Eckhart Tolle's Inner Peace Exercise (3 min)
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
Each time we feel threatened (threat is the fundamental definition of stress) our first instinct is to “fight or flight“. PUFF UP or Shrink.
This perpetual “fight or flight” response loop eventually creates a host of secondary problems, above and beyond, the original stressor (or oppressor).
It does not matter how we attempt to “control” a stressful situation – physically, verbally, or by running away from it.
Eventually, a repetitive “fight or flight” response cycle will take a significant physical and psychological toll.
The acronym Face Everything And Rise reminds us that the many strengths within us will always be greater than the perceived threats (stress) outside of us.
The key is to first discover and then embrace, each and every one of our divine gifts. Within us. And all around us.
The mantra Stand Your Sacred Ground inspires us to stand still, take a deep breath, and trust that being yourself is enough.
Simply holding your own ground is enough.
No fight. No flight. No Fear. Only love.
This photo was taken on one of my daily hikes up Blue Heron Hill.
One of my favourite places to go at the end of a long wintery day.
Each breath. Each step. Shifts me higher.
To a place of perfect peace. At one with the great big beautiful sky.
A divine connection. No words necessary. Heaven on earth indeed.
Related Post: Always looking up.
Where do you go to calm your mind and soothe your soul?
Related Post: The Sweet Spot.
Have you ever noticed that the more challenging life gets the more critical you are of yourself.
And the more critical you are of yourself the more challenging life becomes.
It’s a fearful, exhausting, repetitive loop that feeds on itself.
When you’re under extreme pressure, the last thing you need is another self-talk rant of why you’re not good enough.
What you do need is a boatload of unconditional love.
Today vow to give yourself the gift of more love, more kindness, more generosity.
A gift that will keep on giving.
Long after the stress is gone.
Find an affirmation or a positive quote that makes you stop, take a breath, and feel your heart beating deep inside.
Something that reminds you of how magical you truly are.
Post it on your fridge.
Write it on your mirror.
Save it on your phone.
The next time you start beating yourself up over the smallest thing, take it as a sign that you need some extra love and tender care.
The more love you give yourself, the more generous, authentic, and compassionate all of your relationships will be.
Including the relationship you have with your innermost self.
Related: Mirror Affirmation Exercise
All day long.💛💫
