Like all eyes are on you and every potential error you make?
Everyone experiences this phenomenon from time to time, especially when trying out something for the first time.
Think back to the first time you gave a dinner party, swung a golf club, wrote a college exam, or posted your first blog online.
Social Anxiety and Heightened Experiences
Individuals with social anxiety experience this sense of being watched (and thought about) significantly more than the average person.
Independent of skills and expertise.
Why is this the case?
The Imaginary Audience
One potential explanation is a psychological phenomenon called imaginary audience experienced frequently in adolescence.
A concept first introduced by social psychologists David Elkind and Erik Erikson in the 1960’s.
Think back to how easily embarrassed you were as a teenager.
If you wore the “wrong shirt” to school, it felt like everyone was gossiping about you and your entire social life would end as a result.
Resulting in perpetual self-consciousness, distorted views of how others saw you, causing in a tendency to conform for fear of sticking out.
Limiting your freedom to express outside the norm for fear of collective banishment and reprisal.
What does the research say?
Using the Imaginary Audience Scale as a Measure of Social Anxiety in Young Adults
Two studies explored imaginary audience phenomenon among college students.
Imaginary audience behavior was found to be related to measures of social anxiety, self perception, and personality.
Furthermore, imaginary audience scores were more strongly related to anxiety than abstract reasoning.
These results suggest that imaginary audience experiences that persist into early adulthood have more to do with social anxiety than with cognitive development.
The next time you imagine you are being watched, talked about, or judged by others, remember that imaginary audience IS AN ILLUSION heightened by social media, physiology (eg., lack of sleep), and overthinking.
When in truth, people are so focused on themselves (and their phones), that there is a 99% chance that no one cares what you are up to or how you are performing.
This is a very good thing!
CARPE DIEM
Today’s Freedom Mantra
Live like nobody’s watching. Love like nobody’s watching. Succeed like nobody’s watching. Fail like nobody’s watching. Write like nobody’s watching!
1. What would you stop doing if you only had one year to live?
2. What would you start doing if you only had one year to live?
3. What do you need to let go of to feel a sense of happiness, well-being, and peace?
4. What and who do you no longer want to be obligated to?
5. What joy do you wish you had more time for?
CONTEMPLATION TIME
Take a long deep breath and meditate on your answers. You’ll be surprised at what your soul has to say.
YOU GET ONE LIFE.
Make it yours.
Dear Readers:
This video is equally a note to you + me reminding us to live with discernment and wisdom. For not everyone in our life appreciates the limits of our time and energy. And that’s ok. For we are the magic wand. We have the power to make choices. We have the ability to overcome social conditioning. We have the authority to change what and who we want in our lives. What and who we give our energy to unnecessarily, repeatedly, unconsciously.
We live in a world weighed down by disaster, debt, and divorce. So it’s no surprise that we’ve been conditioned to believe that tragedies require tragic mindsets.
That serious issues demand serious attitudes. That hardships necessitate hardened spirits.
What consumes your mind consumes your life.
Change your view.
Thankfully we also live in a world overflowing with abundance, joy, and love.Same world. But we can’t see the good when we’re overwhelmed by the bad.
From overwhelmed to OVERFLOWING.
Making the shift from stress to strength can happen in a number of ways.
Laughter = instant stress relief. Taking a long deep breath runs a close second.
Be kind to your mind.
Laughter breaks the panic spell. The not enough mindset. The woe is me attitude. The negativity downturn.
Laughter connects people in present time. Friends and strangers! Think of the last time you laughed out loud with a cashier in the grocery line. (For me, it was last night ;.)
Laughter is an instant vacation to a better place – withoutthe travel bills!
Today’s challenge / opportunity:
Today’s challenge is to lighten up. To breathe deeply into what stresses you.
To leave room for grace. To respond with a light heart and an open mind. To dance a little dance. To laugh with friends. To nourish your soul.
Ultimately to remember who you were – before life weighed you down.
For it’s in our joy that we find our voice. It’s in our abundance that we embrace our authenticity.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Awareness empowers.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Slowly bring yourself back to this moment.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. Fromnot enough to overflowing.
Positive change begins within.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
