Strength during the lowest of lows?
Peace in difficulty?
Happiness during COVID-19?
In the video below, I share some personal examples from my own upbringing on how my parents found strength and contentment during even the darkest of times.
I’d love to hear your ideas, theories, and personal stories.
Video of Post → Click Here
And calm in your heart.
The goal is to change our response to them.
To transcend them when the time is right.
e·qua·nim·i·ty
Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. “She accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity”.
Let Your North Star Guide You
Watch Video of Post → Click Here
I was recently interviewed by wellness entrepreneur Christa Realba for her Ambitious Mama Podcast Series.
In different gradients, and at different times for sure. Depending on where you are on your journey.
The key is to not get stuck in the challenge and let pain become your identity.
To learn from it. To rise up and begin again when the time is right.
In addition to the podcast, resilience is discussed in more detail in my TEDx Talk and on my Psychology Blog, both called “Thriving Under Pressure”: https://DrAndreaDinardo.com
Do you believe thriving under pressure + posttraumatic growth are possible for all of us? Why or why not? Tune into my latest podcast interview and let me know what you think!
Related Post: Teaching Resilience at School
A map for transforming stress into strength
or
The following is a video and activity overview from Part 2 of the 2020 SRC Leadership Development Workshop. Click Here for Part 1.
Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.
I believe that (self) control is the foundation of effective leadership because in order to lead others, you must first learn to lead yourself.
CONTROL – Part 1
In the initial control exercise, participants met in groups to reflect and share their answers to the following questions:
CONTROL – Part 2
Next, participants applied the C-P-R Model of Sustainable Mental Health Habits to their own experiences as both students and student leaders.
1. Student leaders first identified their triggers. Including emotional, cognitive, situational, and physical stressors. CATCH
2. Then they practiced taking a time-out (long deep breath) during high pressure moments. PAUSE
3. Finally, they shared both self-care (fitness, sleep, nutrition) and professional resources (counselling) that help them replenish unmet psychological and physical needs (as outlined on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs). REPAIR
Control Video ⇒ Click Here
TEDx Talk ⇒ Click Here
On January 11, 2020, I had the opportunity to work with the student leadership team at St. Clair College in Windsor Ontario.
The goal was to strengthen the bonds between team members and harness the power of their mission for the 12,500 students on campus.
We talked about the many ways challenges can be transformed into opportunities.
And how pressure can be used in a positive way to motivate us to the next level of our lives.
CHALLENGE is the first “C” in the “Stress to Strength” model from my Thriving Under Pressure TEDx Talk. Photo below.
In the video from the leadership workshop I give an overview of the ABC Model of Cognitive Psychology and the Flow Model of Optimal Performance.
We also discussed why resilience is not so much about what happened, but our thoughts about what happened.
Listen in for more:
More videos and learning moments from the leadership event to come. Stay Tuned! Dr. D 📚❤️
Special thanks to UWSA VP of Advocacy Arop Plaek Deng for being the photographer and videographer at the SRC Leadership Event 📸
Challenge Video ⇒ Click Here
TEDx Talk ⇒ Click Here
My number one intention for becoming a psychologist and psychology professor has always been to help people live a better life, no matter their life circumstances.
And since there are only so many hours in a day, I’m always looking for new ways to reach and teach as many people as I can. All at once, if possible.
Which is why I created a Psychology Tips Playlist on my YouTube Channel that I contribute to weekly.
130+ psychology videos for you to enjoy! ⤵️
The purpose of my Psychology YouTube Channel is to share the key lessons of my 3 hour psychology lectures in 3 to 5 minutes.
I know how busy everyone is. And I love a good challenge!
I also include videos of psychology workshops and keynote speeches.
Visit YouTube Channel ⇒ Click Here https://m.youtube.com/c/DrAndreaDinardo
We’re on a trip to California for our December birthdays and wedding anniversary and I couldn’t imagine a more mindful place to be.
Luminous moonlight.
Fresh ocean air.
Sunshine in every nook.
Just outside our hotel room door.
Waiting to be climbed.
December birthday blessings of the highest kind.🎄💚
Video of Blog Post ⇒ Click Here
This was the case for Sarah and Jack, two unique individuals with vastly different circumstances. But they each experienced the same emotion: loneliness. An emotion that is heightened during the holidays.
Original Source:
I originally wrote this article for The Drive Magazine.
https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/lean-into-loneliness/
Sarah was a 42-year-old recently divorced woman who was about to face her first holiday season alone. Living in a new town, miles away from friends and family, she was waiting to begin a new job in January. Hours felt like days.
Days felt like months. Sarah had tried everything to fill the void inside. The mistake she made was running away from the one thing that would help get her to the other side: loneliness itself.
We need to first understand an emotion before we jump to the conclusion that it’s either good or bad, because in reality, emotions are almost entirely physiological in nature.
There’s not a negative or positive to them. It’s in our mind that we make it one or the other. This concept is supported by Schachter-Singer’s theory of emotion:
This theory of emotion explains why two people can experience the exact same event and have completely different emotional reactions to it.
What matters most is the person’s interpretation of an event, not the event itself. After all, as they say, one person’s glass-half-full is another one’s glass-half-empty.
In Sarah’s situation, she interpreted her physiological response to idle time as loneliness, while another person might label it as much-needed relaxation. Ultimately, Sarah has a choice. One interpretation debilitates; the other empowers.
Now that Sarah understands the interpretative power she holds over her environmental triggers, the next step is to witness loneliness in a neutral, curious state rather than fighting it at every turn.
In doing so, Sarah neutralizes the intensity of her emotions, allowing them to flow through her, rather than getting stuck in a repetitive loop of pain.
1. Count to 10
3. Make three wishes
Taken one step further, each time that Sarah experiences a challenging emotion during the holidays, rather than running from it she needs to lean in and ask that emotion, “What are you trying to teach me?”
The final step for Sarah is to learn how to reframe the situations that trigger her loneliness, and understand why sometimes she overreacts, while other times she lets go without a second thought.
Solitude is perceived as isolation by one person and freedom by another.
1. Identify a situation that triggers loneliness.
2. Imagine the best-case scenario: “This situation is temporary.”
3. Look for evidence of the best-case scenario: “The longest I’ve been single is two years.”
4. Describe the worst-case scenario: “I will be alone forever.”
5. Name the benefits of the worst-case scenario: “I am free to do what I want.”
6. Finally, ask for help in reframing triggers, especially when feeling overwhelmed.
At 55 years of age, Jack was also feeling the pangs of loneliness. His wife of 25 years died suddenly of a heart attack two years ago.
Unexpected was an understatement. They had run in three marathons together and had spent their weekends sampling new vegan restaurants in their local community. Ever since his wife had died, Jack struggled to face the holidays alone.
Jack’s story is as much about him as it is about the family around him. His family and friends’ automatic response was to feel sorry for him, a response that compounded his feelings of disconnectedness and misunderstanding.
As much as Jack missed his wife, he also missed his ability to connect authentically with friends and family. Having been treated with kid gloves since his wife died, Jack longed to be seen as a victor rather than a victim
As such, I encourage Jack to connect with like-minded individuals who had been through a similar situation: widows and widowers. Specifically, ones who had been on their own for several years.
The benefits are twofold. One, Jack would learn new ways of relating to friends and family. And two, he’d be given the green light to grow and acclimate to his new circumstances.
The other component missing in Jack’s life was fun. Simple, cheerful, good-time fun. Everything had become so serious since his wife died, with almost every conversation beginning or ending with his wife’s death.
There was no doubt that he missed her with all his heart. But equally, he longed for moments where he could be free of the loneliness and pain.
I recommend that Jack reintroduce sports into his life. Something non-competitive that would get him out of the house on a Wednesday night. Better yet, if it involved people that he had never met, it would allow him to continue his journey of reinvention and rediscovery.
Equally therapeutic for Jack would be joining a cinema group or regular euchre meetup—both would offer him a chance to be in the moment and enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
Finally, I advise Jack to examine the memories and traditions that he wanted to keep alive during the holidays—and, equally, the ones of which he was ready to let go.
Jack took the practice one step further. Declaring December a month of renewal and reinvention, he revived a strength and peace inside that radiated out to his entire family.
Jack and Sarah have a lot to teach us about loneliness and how important it is to honour the unique ways in which we process adversity.
One size does not fit all. Fellowship and fun were vital for Jack’s growth and recovery, while Sarah needed a more analytical approach to processing difficulty.
• Lean into loneliness
• Approach it with openness and curiosity
• Make space for the lessons beneath the suffering
Disclaimer: This post and magazine article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. To protect the privacy of individuals, names and identifying details have been changed.
1. How do you cope with difficult emotions during the holidays?
2. What strategies do you use to make peace with the heightened pressures of the Christmas season?
3. What are your unique traditions and one-of-a-kind celebrations?
Video of Blog Post → Click Here
sus·tain·a·bil·i·ty/səˌstānəˈbilədē/
Catch yourself in the midst (or before) before a stress response escalates by becoming more aware of what triggers you.
Pause and take a 60 second time out when you feel the physical sensations of stress begin to escalate.
Repair the root source of the heightened stress response which is often physiological in nature. Possible unmet needs include: sleep, food, fresh air, exercise.
The CPR Presentation was developed for the St. Clair College Student Sustainability Group as part of their initiative for supporting the health and wellbeing of college staff, faculty, and students.
This was the first time I’ve been approached to make a video for a third party. And it was so much fun!
This post went “live” at St. Clair College at noon today.
SRC President and CPR Journal Reflections Author
Click Here for St. Clair College Mental Health Resources
