⚜️ What do you need to LET GO of to feel a sense well-being?
⚜️ Who and what do you no longer want to be OBLIGATED to?
⚜️ If you had only one year to live, what five things would you STOP doing?
⚜️ What JOY do you wish you had more TIME for?
⚜️ Take a LONG DEEP BREATH and meditate on your answers.
⚜️ You will be surprised at what your SOUL has to say.
⚜️ Make it yours.
Video of Post: Click Here
Is it something you do or something you are?
Or at work?
Or when you retire?
Video of Post: Click Here
This list was initially created for students embarking on a new career during covid-19.
It also includes EQ techniques helpful for everyone.
Watch 3 min Video of Post: Click Here
I used to think of life purpose as some great big grand scheme for life, something we spend our whole life chasing after. Daunting for sure. At times overwhelming.
Then one day I realized that life purpose was a series of small, fleeting events, rather than one great big span of life. Bite size in fact.
It’s the one thing we love doing, time and time again. Over and over. Day by day. It’s the one thing we love sharing. Moment to moment. Breath by breath.
RELATED POST:
Anchor Yourself With Light
For me it’s making the person right in front of me (no matter who they are) feel like the most important person in the world.
Engaging fully, completely, in every conversation I have.
No matter how long. No matter how short.
REFLECTION QUESTION: What makes you come alive?
My hope for today is to make you feel like the centre of my universe. One smile at a time. One conversation at time. If only for a moment. Sometimes for a lifetime.
More than you’ll ever know.
Sometimes we need a quick, fun, and easy way to elevate our mood. Suggestion: Angel Cards A simple, soulful practice that takes a (bite sized) moment. Now my friends ask me to bring angel cards to all our coffee talks. Even if we’re sitting 8 feet apart! These light-hearted cards guarantee a shift UP in conversation. From the mundane to the magical.
What lights your way today?
F45 "Live" Event: Community Resilience with Dr. Andrea Dinardo
Community members asked stress, wellness, and psychology questions in real time.
Throughout the resilience seminar, I also shared daily habits and thought patterns keeping me healthy during the pandemic.
Optimism, hope, and humour are key factors in health, happiness, and resilience.
Optimism Bootcamp The Drive Magazine
Since then, I have been interviewed virtually by:
We discussed situational and pandemic anxiety, health and positive psychology, time and energy management, social media boundaries, resilience, and thriving under pressure.
In the past, online interactions were “an extra” to everyday conversation.
Now “the virtual life” is a necessity for both our personal and professional lives.
An important and crucial way to stay connected to both our dreams and each other.
PSYCHOLOGY TEACHING ONLINE - BEHIND THE SCENES: 1. What It's Like to Be a Professor During Global Pandemic 2. "Live" Online Psychology Class
“Adapt or Die” may sound harsh.
But adaptation is truly what’s being asked of us in every area of our lives right now.
So I figure I might as well jump right in!
Because I would rather ride the wave, than have the wave ride me. 🌊
VIRTUAL KEYNOTE: Healthy Workplace Awards
With time, I have come to realize that failure has always been my greatest teacher. Each failure pointed me in a better direction and helped me to develop strength and authenticity, ultimately unveiling who I was and what I was destined to become
F. A. I. L. = First Attempt In Learning
• The failing grade I received on my first exam in graduate school taught me how to ask for support when I needed it most, no matter how shameful I felt or embarrassed I was.
• The end of a long-term relationship taught me how to value my time alone and make tough decisions for myself, no matter how weak I felt or lonesome I was.
• The layoff from a job I loved taught me how to let go, look forward, and trust in something so much bigger than myself, no matter how scared I was or irrelevant I felt.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Is it possible to see failure in a positive light?
Under the right conditions, failure strengthens us, adds to our self-knowledge, and enhances the quality of our lives
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have met my husband John.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be a psychology professor.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not have written three textbooks.
• If it weren’t for failure, I would not be the person I am today.
“Failure is the opportunity to begin again.”
Read My Article in The Drive Magazine: https://thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback
Watch Video of Post: Click Here
Three Ways ~ 2020 graduates ~ can bridge the gap between what was ~ and what will be.
All three resilience strategies described in full detail in the 8 minute video below:
Growth happens in the s p a c e in between.
This video presentation was created in partnership with the Student Representative Council (SRC) at St. Clair College in Windsor Ontario Canada.
And calm in your heart.
The goal is to change our response to them.
To transcend them when the time is right.
e·qua·nim·i·ty
Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. “She accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity”.
Let Your North Star Guide You
Watch Video of Post → Click Here
Today I would like to shine a light on a local entrepreneur named Alex Binaei, the creative mind behind Windsor Updates and the video highlighted in this post.
Alex’s video for Windsor Updates is one of the best examples of how crisis and adversity create innovation and ingenuity. In both our community and in ourselves.
This video is a compilation of news, announcements, and local community members discussing the Covid-19 (Coronavirus) pandemic taking place in Windsor-Essex Ontario and around the world. Including offers of support, advice, and information.
Research on Social Support & Psychological Health
Being surrounded by people who are supportive helps individuals see themselves as capable of handling stress and adversity. Research has also shown that having strong social support in times of crisis can help reduce the consequences of trauma-induced disorders including PTSD.
Original Source: Click Here
Thank you Windsor Updates for including me in this vital project. Your ingenuity and generosity gives me strength and hope! ♥
How are you coping with our universal global event?
After socially distancing and working full-time from home as a psychology professor (now online), I had never felt more appreciative and grateful for all the simple joys in my life.
In this video created for Windsor Updates I share how our family is thriving instead of merely surviving the COVID-19 crisis.
Including counting our blessings like never before.
In the next video I share pandemic resilience techniques with our local Windsor Essex community.
An interactive virtual experience hosted by F45 fitness studio owner Samantha Piercell:
Video of Post: Click Here
or
The following is a video and activity overview from Part 2 of the 2020 SRC Leadership Development Workshop. Click Here for Part 1.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVEjYGl9c0k
Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.
I believe that (self) control is the foundation of effective leadership because in order to lead others, you must first learn to lead yourself.
CONTROL – Part 1
In the initial control exercise, participants met in groups to reflect and share their answers to the following questions:
CONTROL – Part 2
Next, participants applied the C-P-R Model of Sustainable Mental Health Habits to their own experiences as both students and student leaders.
1. Student leaders first identified their triggers. Including emotional, cognitive, situational, and physical stressors. CATCH
2. Then they practiced taking a time-out (long deep breath) during high pressure moments. PAUSE
3. Finally, they shared both self-care (fitness, sleep, nutrition) and professional resources (counselling) that help them replenish unmet psychological and physical needs (as outlined on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs). REPAIR
Control Video ⇒ Click Here
TEDx Talk ⇒ Click Here
On January 11, 2020, I had the opportunity to work with the student leadership team at St. Clair College in Windsor Ontario.
The goal was to strengthen the bonds between team members and harness the power of their mission for the 12,500 students on campus.
We talked about the many ways challenges can be transformed into opportunities.
And how pressure can be used in a positive way to motivate us to the next level of our lives.
CHALLENGE is the first “C” in the “Stress to Strength” model from my Thriving Under Pressure TEDx Talk. Photo below.
In the video from the leadership workshop I give an overview of the ABC Model of Cognitive Psychology and the Flow Model of Optimal Performance.
We also discussed why resilience is not so much about what happened, but our thoughts about what happened.
Listen in for more:
More videos and learning moments from the leadership event to come. Stay Tuned! Dr. D 📚❤️
Special thanks to UWSA VP of Advocacy Arop Plaek Deng for being the photographer and videographer at the SRC Leadership Event 📸
For example: You may be more patient at work, but not at home. You may be able to control your impulses when it comes to food, but not when it comes to yelling at your spouse or children.
For example: Saving money for a house versus buying impulse purchases on Cyber Monday. Working 2 jobs to pay for college tuition versus going out with friends every weekend night. Working out to strengthen your mental and physical health versus watching tv all day.
For example: faith, trust, comfort, financial security, long-term vision, full stomach, good night’s sleep.
The Stanford marshmallow experiment was a study on delayed gratification in 1972 led by psychologist Walter Mischel, a professor at Stanford University.[1]
In this study, a child was offered a choice between one small but immediate reward, or two small rewards if they waited for period of time. During this time, the researcher left the room for about 15 minutes and then returned.
The reward was either a marshmallow or pretzel stick, depending on the child’s preference. In follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores,[2] educational attainment,[3] body mass index (BMI),[4] and other life measures.
Original Source: Click Here
Video of Blog Post → Click Here
Life is complicated. Stress management shouldn’t be.
In this post, I share the lessons learned at a thriving teams thriving leaders board retreat.
It was a true team effort!
With the team-building and leadership exercises equally led by the student leaders and myself.
Please join in and explore the reflection questions, interactive activities, and workshop videos with the teams in your life.
Together Everyone Achieves More!
WHAT HELPS TEAMS FLOURISH & THRIVE?
“It takes both sides to build a bridge.”
Perspective taking exercise.
Discussion Questions:
1. Identify a problem you have faced as a student leader.
2. Determine what’s “below the surface” that could potentially be the source of the problem.
3. Explore the problem from the perspective of the student.
4. Describe the problem and potential solution using both the leader’s and the student’s perspectives.
5. Summarize the lessons and potential opportunities of the original problem. Eg. What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about the student?“Together We Rise.”
“Goals with Soul.”
Personal and Team goal setting exercise.
Discussion Questions:
1. What are your goals as student leader for the school year?
2. What are your goals as team member for the school year?
3. What are your greatest assets for the team?
4. What areas do you need assistance from the team?“Teamwork makes the dream work.”
“Your life is your message to the world.”
“What’s Your North Star?” team building exercise.
Discussion Questions:
1. What’s Your Purpose?
2. What Lights Your Way?
3. What Bonds and Unites Your Team?“What’s Your Why?”
The videos in this post were filmed with the generous help of student leaders during my THRIVING TEAMS presentation at the University of Windsor Students’ Alliance (UWSA) Summer Board Retreat.
“While traditional psychology focused its attention on pathology and problems, in the relatively new field of positive psychology, researchers strive to explore and understand the strengths of individuals and communities that contribute to their flourishing.” Source: Psychology Guide
I am passionate about what positive psychology can do for students and educators in and out of the classroom. By first focusing on what is right, before examining what is wrong, students are motivated to move beyond, and in some cases, be transformed by their current limitations, history, and circumstances.
Link to: VIA Character Strengths Inventory
Positive psychology is not about being happy and successful all the time. Instead, happiness is aspirational like a delicious meal at a 5 star restaurant. Wonderful but not to be expected, at every meal, all the time. (Otherwise, we set ourselves up for disappointment on the Kraft Dinner days.)
Instead, the field of positive psychology helps bring out the best in us. In a balanced way. The ebb and flow of life. Negativity is to be expected. The question is – how long do you stay there.
As a professor, I believe it is paramount to create a safe and uplifting atmosphere in the classroom. A secure and consistent milieu where students know what to expect class to class, week to week, semester to semester. A place where students are encouraged to build upon their existing strengths, while feeling supported enough to share their current struggles.
Link to: Broaden & Build Theory of Positive Emotion
As I teach mostly nursing students, it is critical that I practice what I teach in and out of the classroom. Nursing students will also be responsible for creating an encouraging and safe space for their clients one day.
The yellow t-shirts are from the Yellow Umbrella Project, an Ontario wide college campaign for battling the stigma of mental illness on campus.
My highest goal is to work with young Canadians in a way that empowers and encourages them to become the best version of themselves. Cultivating success in a way that is unique to them. I believe that interactive lectures combined with warmth and real-life stories is the best approach for achieving this goal.
Link to: Positive Psychology Interview
The photo below is from a leadership conference for college students where I discussed the connection between optimism and student success.
Ultimately, I hope to remind students of their gifts. While encouraging them to embrace their challenges. For we are the sum total of all that is powerful and vulnerable – within and around us. And it’s this extraordinary combination of strong and weak, good and bad, light and dark, that makes our world and our classrooms such a fascinating place to live and thrive.
Recently, I was invited to do a Leadership Training and Development Workshop at a local kickboxing club.
This is where I go to cool my jets and find my joy. So, I was more than excited to take the leadership team’s mental fitness up to the next level!
During the mental fitness training session, I discussed how the 3 C’s of Thriving Under Pressure from my TEDx Talk could enhance the performance and well-being of the Kersey Kickbox Team.
Using personality assessment, team mapping, and real-life examples, I harnessed the team’s many strengths to benefit both the club’s membership and the trainers themselves.
Hope you enjoy the video too.
There are two ways of looking at failure.
Failure as FEEDBACK.
Failure as PUNISHMENT.
⊕⊕⊕⊕⊕
One energizes.
The other paralyzes.
I believe that failure is essential for success, at work and in our personal lives.
Failure lights our way to what we’re ultimately meant to do. Especially when we embrace it and consciously invite it into our lives. Pushing us past our comfort zones. Having the courage to take risks beyond our current circumstances.
Failure shows us what we’re good at, and equally what we are not skilled at. And how if we perceive failure as information (versus punishment) we will move on much more quickly to what we were born to do.
I believe so strongly in the benefits of failure that I “pitched” failure as feedback to the editors of The Drive Magazine. And they said yes!
A video overview of the February issue and links to online edition of the magazine.
MAGAZINE edition
For the rest of the story, pick up a copy of The DRIVE Magazine.ONLINE edition
My psychology article “Failure as FEEDBACK” is also available online: https://www.thedrivemagazine.com/posts/failure-as-feedback
Related: Lean into loneliness | The Drive Magazine
So many people in this world are struggling with what to do with their lives.
An existential struggle that did not exist 100 years ago when jobs were more clearly defined.
Which is why it is essential to explore purpose in many different ways.
We must not confuse life purpose with occupation.
My occupation = Psychology Professor.
My life purpose is to lift people up and help them feel better.
Something I can do on weekends, at work, with friends, in my community, and well into my retirement years.
Our occupation transpires 9-5. Our life purpose unfolds 24/7.
The topic of finding one’s life purpose was an active discussion on social media (see screen shot below) and in psychology class (link to video) this week.
Social Media: What’s my gift?
This is how I walked a fellow instagrammer through the process of (re)discovering their life purpose:
Life purpose is a way of being.
A way of living and giving.
It is all encompassing.
We are 1 in 7.5 billion.
No more waiting. No more searching.
A daily mission. Big and small.
Supporting others and sharing our gift.
Breath by breath. Step by step.
We are the dominos.
I hope you enjoy this video message on life purpose too.
Today’s post is brought to you from my psychology classroom.
Good vibes, after all, start on the inside.
Stop wishing.
Seize the day.
Claim your prize. 💥
Related Post: Face it — You’re Strong!
I can’t imagine a better moment in life to learn about purpose and empowerment than when we are young.
Which is why I embrace every opportunity to share the principles of positive psychology with students across Canada.
The most recent opportunity being a conference called: “You Can Do College.”
The purpose of the event was to introduce high school students to all the programs available to them when they graduate in a few years.
Showing them that if they work hard today — “They Can Do College” in the future. Whether it be as a civil engineer, a veterinary technician, a nurse, or an early childhood educator.
My job as a Motivational Speaker was to ignite their inner flame for higher learning. This is what I was born to do! 🔥
Connecting with audience members is essential for me. No matter how big or small the crowd.
Accordingly, I encouraged students to answer as many questions as they could (which they did!) as I walked and talked freely with the large crowd.
Hoping to meet as many of the 600 students as I could.
One of my favourite moments was when the young gentleman above shared his lifelong dream of becoming an engineer.
The icing on the cake was hearing about destiny from a student named Destiny.
Destiny aspires to be a cosmetologist to the stars one day. How cool is that!
This is my hope every time we meet.
And every time I teach.
No matter how brief or long our interaction.
I want to leave you feeling brighter, lighter, more confident.
The bonus is — when your energy rises, so does mine.
Which is why I will always keep your vibes in mind.
When your day brightens, so does mine. 💫
Related Post: From Fear to Love
Related Post - Trust the music.
What brings a smile to your face and makes your heart skip a beat?
Related Post: Enthusiasm is contagious.
Are you ready to move on but are reluctant to let something go?
Letting go is not giving in.
When you let go you generate energy needed for moving forward.
Close your eyes. Clear your heart.
Let go of what weighs you down.
Your highest purpose. Your greatest calling.
I have the pleasure of starting each day with my husband John.
Each morning begins at 6am with an hour of coffee talk weekends included.
No alarm clock necessary.
Having something as wonderful as hot coffee and good conversation to look forward to each day is its own wake up call.
This morning I asked John to share why he thought he was born.
Deep talk, I know.
But that’s just how life rolls when you’re married to a psychologist.
John’s answer: “To make one person’s life better that day.”
To which I replied: “Purpose achieved.” (He makes the best coffee!)
This conversation got me thinking about how important it is to live our purpose in short 24 hour segments. Too long a timeline and we feel lost and overwhelmed.
Name the purpose. Claim the day. Leave the details up to the universe.
Who. What. Where. When. How. Are spontaneous.
Simply be on the lookout for one opportunity to be on purpose for one day.
No more unrelenting trials.
Lay down your burdens.
You have strengthened from your burdens.
You have developed. You have grown.
Trust your wisdom. Trust your wings.
This question came to mind last week when I took over a college class halfway through the semester.
I know how tough it is for students to have 2 professors over the course of a 12 week semester. 2 sets of rules. 2 sets of expectations.
So it’s more important than ever that I play my “first impression” card right.
Students are more likely to “test the limits with the “new teacher”. Accordingly, I use a more strict than usual demeanour at the start of summer semester.
It usually works well. As my tough love approach becomes more on the love side, and less on the tough side as the weeks roll by.
However, this time I knew my first class authoritarian approach was not going to work.
Suddenly I had my hands full right off the bat. One of my students was not impressed in any way.
After laying down the law, the student looked up at me and said: “I’m not going to like you very much.”
And I said: “Good, because I’m not here to be liked, I’m here to teach you something.”
The student loudly responded: “Good, because I just learned something!”
To this day I am grateful for how much this student underscored my purpose in the classroom.
I am not here to be liked. I am here to teach psychology.
A life lesson in self-worth that applies to us all.
“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.”
Stop expecting others to validate what you hear (see and feel).
A beautiful melody that only you can hear.
Fear not who you are. Fear not what you hear.
Trust the music that is in you.
And dance a little freedom dance.
Related Post: I believe in you.
The list is long when it comes to student stress. But by far, one of the greatest sources of stress is waiting!
Students are always forecasting into the future. Every single moment of student life is about waiting. Waiting for grades. Waiting for summer. Waiting for graduation.
Students become frustrated waiting for what feels like a lifetime to practice the profession they’re in school for.
Textbook readings, class lectures, and endless exams seem miles away from actually doing their dream job.
Days become weeks, weeks become months, months become years. Time moves at a snail’s pace.
For students, there are too many years before they can finally live their lifelong dream of becoming a nurse, a lawyer, a carpenter, a designer, a psychologist.
“Don’t worry, it will all be worth it in the end”. Easy for a professor to say. Challenging for a student to live. A day is infinity in a student’s mind.
(Little do they know that one day they will look back and fondly recall their college years as the best years of their lives.)
Listening to students lament year after year about the waiting game got me thinking (and dreaming) of a better way! Asking myself how I could bridge the (time) gap between education and profession.
My goal is to help students claim ownership of their present time. To help them live their dream job every single day. To remind them that life purpose does not require a job to be realized.
Students do not have to wait a lifetime to experience their dream job. Instead, they could live the core elements of their chosen profession every single day – in so many wonderful ways. Simply by living on purpose, in present time.
Using “bite size” mission statements, I help students identify the key attributes of their dream profession.
During this exercise, students realize that “Life Purpose” is 99% about LIFE. Something they live every single day.
And that no one needs to wait one more year, one more day, or even one more moment to live life to the fullest.
Ultimately, students (and their professor) discover that Life Purpose is about following their heart, sharing their gifts, and shining their light.
One bite size dream at a time.
Related Post: Shine Your Light
Happy International Women’s Day!
I am grateful for all the women in the world who paved the way. Including my mom. The first psychologist in the family. A role model, mentor, and encourager. Today & Always.
Who are grateful for today?
What if our only life purpose was to be kind?
What if every decision we made was guided by this shared life purpose?
How would you change? How would the world change?
Life purpose is a way of living and giving.
It does not require a title or a corner office.
Life purpose is a way of being in this world.
Today be kind. 💙
“Be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people.”
Students First Is My Philosophy
For me, writing is all encompassing.
The words become the beat of my heart.
The words become the oxygen I breathe.
The words become all that I touch, feel, and see.
For me, writing is all encompassing.
Related Post: Happiness in One Word.
If you are lucky enough to find joy in the course of a day.. keep it to yourself..
At least until you find the courage to radiate, illuminate, and enjoy your life.
No matter how. No matter when.
Whatever it is that makes you smile, makes you giggle, makes you dance in the streets.
Whatever it is that makes you levitate, makes you beam, makes your heart skip a beat.
The world needs your joy. The universe needs your light.
It is time to silence the happiness critics in your life.
At least in your mind. Forever in your heart.
Now. More than ever. Be brave. Stand tall.
I love you just the way you are.
I love everything about positive psychology. The research, the content, the discoveries, the real-life stories, and most importantly, the promise of a better life.
The opportunity to write psychology textbooks for McGraw-Hill Ryerson and share my enthusiasm for psychology is a childhood dream come true!
What Moves You? Motivates You? Inspires You?
How do you share your passion with the world?
Thriving Under Pressure 