Positive Psychology & Stress Resilience
Some lessons happen over a lifetime. Others happen in an instant.
Either way, the paradox of strength is that it develops though pain.
Each misfortune cultivates a renewed appreciation.
Each obstacle fosters a new level of perseverance.
Each sadness teaches a greater depth of compassion.
Each challenge harvests a new field of possibilities.
We must fall down to rise up.
Again and again and again.
Related Post: I've never met a strong person with an easy past.
This question came to mind last week when I took over a college class halfway through the semester.
I know how tough it is for students to have 2 professors over the course of a 12 week semester. 2 sets of rules. 2 sets of expectations.
So it’s more important than ever that I play my “first impression” card right.
Students are more likely to “test the limits with the “new teacher”. Accordingly, I use a more strict than usual demeanour at the start of summer semester.
It usually works well. As my tough love approach becomes more on the love side, and less on the tough side as the weeks roll by.
However, this time I knew my first class authoritarian approach was not going to work.
Suddenly I had my hands full right off the bat. One of my students was not impressed in any way.
After laying down the law, the student looked up at me and said: “I’m not going to like you very much.”
And I said: “Good, because I’m not here to be liked, I’m here to teach you something.”
The student loudly responded: “Good, because I just learned something!”
To this day I am grateful for how much this student underscored my purpose in the classroom.
I am not here to be liked. I am here to teach.
A life lesson in self-worth that applies to us all.
Your Turn: Would you rather be liked or respected?
Related Post: From Fear to Love
What loving thing will you do for yourself today?
Do you experience more stress than the average person? Are you overly sensitive to external stimuli. Chances are, there is nothing wrong with you or your coping strategies.
Instead, your brain may be more sensitive to stress than the average person. You may in fact, be what Dr. Elaine Aron has coined “A Highly Sensitive Person” (HSP).
Brain scans show that HSP’s have “heightened activity in empathy-related brain regions” including the anterior insula (insular cortex), highlighted in the brain scan below.
The intensified response of highly sensitive people (HSP) to stress is not a choice – it’s biological. HSP brains are wired differently than the average person. This fact has been clearly supported by scientific research.
- Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
- Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
- Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
- Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
- Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
- Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
- Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
- When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?
The main challenge for most HSP’s is to acknowledge their heightened emotional sensitivity, understand their unique emotional needs, and finally to employ distinctive strategies for coping with stress. Helpful websites and resources below –
Watch my video for helpful strategies on how to thrive.
The next time you’re tempted to complain about the same thing (over and over again), direct that same (frustrated) energy into your highest, loftiest goals. Consciously swap one complaint for one baby step towards your dreams. Same energy required. Magically different results. 🎈
Related Post: Set a time limit on negativity.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
