Reading People: Lesson #1 Self Awareness

“The simple act of paying attention can take you a long, long way.”


Intrapersonal Intelligence ⇔ Interpersonal Intelligence

The first lesson in reading people, using the principles of emotional intelligence, is to understand yourself more deeply.

What motivates you. What excites you. What angers you. What lifts you up!

As self-awareness is essential for both personal and relationship success.

If you can’t comprehend your own emotions and motivations, how will you ever understand the behaviour of others?

Understanding Yourself  ⇔ Understanding Others


Self-awareness as a daily practice.

Notice how your emotions ebb and flow throughout the day.

One way of doing this is to schedule time at the end or beginning of your day for quiet contemplation and self-reflection.

Find your favourite place to relax and unwind. Perhaps in the garden or in a cozy chair by the window. Or on a walk by the trees. 

Alternatively, enjoy a 2 minute “Self Check In” at the top of each hour.


Pause. Reflect. Breathe Deeply.

Journal. Meditate. Create. 

What you will find is the more consistently you pay attention to your own drives and desires, the better you will understand the emotions and motivations of others.

Simple self-awareness exercise.

In the video below, I share the simple exercise I use to enhance self-awareness in myself and others. Can you guess the EQ questions I ask students?

Your Turn:

How would you describe yourself in one word?

To hear my “one word” — check out the 1 min video above.  📌🎥

Learn More

Reading People: Lesson #2 

Social Awareness

50 thoughts on “Reading People: Lesson #1 Self Awareness

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        1. First thought. Best thought! Especially when it comes to intuitive exercises like this. Always grateful for your participation. And for your writing. Not only are you growing. You also encourage the same growth and s t r e t c h i n g in your readers. And I’m intrigued by it all. xo

      1. Oh, boy. Which came first, the challenge, or the opportunity? The one often brings the other. Sometimes (hell, many times) the challenge wearies me, but facing and accepting it gives me the opportunity to learn, grow, and find more challenges. And I learn that I build knowledge, confidence, and insight from the challenges faced and the opportunities found. Then the joy of facing challenges and finding opportunities pushes me to go on to more.

        It’s not always an even or easy journey, but facing the challenge seems like the best course. It’s always a choice.

  1. Reflective. Today I’m reflective.
    Enjoyed your post and the video, Andrea.
    The idea of understanding ourselves in order to better understand others is important.

  2. Such brilliant words!
    Yes, mind and heart complete one another, and “getting” others emotionally is even more important than just “getting” them 🤗🤗🤗

  3. My one word would be resilient.
    This is a great post! When we feel emotionally overwhelmed, finding a few seconds to investigate what the emotion is trying to tell us can help. Grounding is so important! Thanks for this reminder.

    1. Resilient — so much power & bounce in one word. This is you. And as you say, equally all of us. We just need some gentle reminders each day, to take a beat, rest in our breath, and slowly unwrap the message our emotions have for us.

  4. Reblogged this on Amitav Chowdhury and commented:
    This is a wonderful post by Andrea on self-awareness. As Ralph Ellison had said, “When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.”
    I thank Andrea for sharing these important lessons, as I am sure they help us in learning a bit more through introspection.

  5. I completely agree that to understand yourself greatly benefits the way you can understand others. I have definitely found this to be true with my children!

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