Challenges appear small in comparison to the vastness of the sky.
Solutions seem plausible. Answers come more easily.
In the presence of stars, we embrace the profound and surrender it all.
Look, up at the sky. There is a light, a beauty up there, that no shadow can touch.
J. R. R. Tolkien
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I used to think of life purpose as some great big grand scheme for life, something we spend our whole life chasing after. Daunting for sure. At times overwhelming.
Then one day I realized that life purpose was a series of small, fleeting events, rather than one great big span of life. Bite size in fact.
It’s the one thing we love doing, time and time again. Over and over. Day by day. It’s the one thing we love sharing. Moment to moment. Breath by breath.
RELATED POST: Don't confuse purpose with occupation
For me it’s making the person right in front of me (no matter who they are) feel like the most important person in the world.
Engaging fully, completely, in every conversation I have.
No matter how long. No matter how short.
REFLECTION QUESTION: What makes you come alive?
My hope for today is to make you feel like the centre of my universe. One smile at a time. One conversation at time. If only for a moment. Sometimes for a lifetime.
More than you’ll ever know.
Sometimes we need a quick, fun, and easy way to elevate our mood. Suggestion: Angel Cards A simple, soulful practice that takes a (bite sized) moment. Now my friends ask me to bring angel cards to all our coffee talks. Even if we’re sitting 8 feet apart! These light-hearted cards guarantee a shift UP in conversation. From the mundane to the magical.
What lights your way today?
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Especially at the start of a brand new day.
A topic I talk about with love and laughter in this video workshop:
Step One: Awareness
Begin by WAKING UP to your inner dialogue tomorrow morning.
Is it loving? Is it kind?
Step Two: Mirror Affirmations
Write an encouraging quote for yourself on your bathroom mirror.
Pick any one of the quotes you’ve shared with the world on social media this past year and post it for yourself on your bathroom mirror.
It only takes one thought, one word, one smile, one song, to change a life.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
WHY ARE WE SO HARD ON OURSELVES?
Great question!
One that I’m asked often. And one that I often ask myself.
The answer is multifaceted and includes several factors including how we were parented (when internalized superego and conscience first develops) and eventually how we parent ourselves.
For example:
When something goes wrong, how do you respond?
1. Self Criticism versus Self Compassion
2. Self Control versus Self Love and Understanding
How do I make the shift from self criticism to self compassion?
1. Pay attention to where your self judgements originated.
Is this your personal measure of worthiness or society’s expectation of success?
2. Investigate how truly arbitrary the standards you set for yourself are.
For example, who said you had to weigh 125 lbs, have a million dollars in the bank, and be married by 30?
3. Don’t Believe Everything You Think!
And calm in your heart.
The goal is to change our response to them.
To transcend them when the time is right.
e·qua·nim·i·ty
Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. “She accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity”.
Let Your North Star Guide You
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Follow Your Breath Become aware of each inhalation and exhalation. Focus on the sensations you feel as air passes through your nose and throat. When you feel your thoughts drift, gently redirect your attention back to your breath.
Stand Up Straight Posture is especially important for breathing. Being upright enhances the rhythmic movement between the diaphragm and ribs. Hold yourself straight. Shoulders back. Feel the power of your breath.
Think Reassuring Thoughts While Breathing With each breath, think soothing thoughts (“I am inhaling calm”). With each exhalation, imagine that you are expelling your fears and worries (“I am exhaling worry”).
Abdominal Breathing Breathe through your stomach. Start by inflating your belly by inhaling, as if to fill it with air, then swell your chest; as you exhale, first “empty” your stomach, then your chest.
Balanced Breathing At the end of each inhalation, pause briefly while slowly counting “1, 2, 3”. Hold the air in. Then slowly exhale counting “1, 2, 3”.
Source: Scientific American
What brings you peace during uncertainty?
What gives you strength?
Breathing Video → Click Here
But we have to look UP to see it.
OPEN our minds to BELIEVE it.
The next time you see a 40 km, 50 km, or even 100 km sign — take it as an opportunity to visualize where (and who) you want to be at that age.
Additionally, use each “sign” as instant reflection time for contemplating: 1) what you need to do more of and 2) what you need to let go of to get there.
What signs have you noticed lately?
Merely an idea 5 years ago.
Only then will we have the fuel + the faith to keep reaching for our North Stars.
Again and again and again.. 🙏💛 🚀💫
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We’re on a trip to California for our December birthdays and wedding anniversary and I couldn’t imagine a more mindful place to be.
Luminous moonlight.
Fresh ocean air.
Sunshine in every nook.
Just outside our hotel room door.
Waiting to be climbed.
December birthday blessings of the highest kind.🎄💚
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sus·tain·a·bil·i·ty/səˌstānəˈbilədē/The ability to be maintained at a certain rate or level.
CPR includes three simple steps as outlined in the video below:
Catch yourself before a stress response escalates by becoming more aware of what triggers you.
Pause and take a 60 second time out when you feel the physical sensations of stress begin to escalate.
Repair the root source of the heightened stress response which is often physiological in nature.
The CPR Presentation was developed for the St. Clair College Student Sustainability Group as part of their initiative for supporting the health and wellbeing of college staff, faculty, and students.
This was the first time I’ve been approached to make a video for a third party. And it was so much fun!
More Tips → Thriving Under Pressure
Not days.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Cozy blankets.
Birds singing.
The sun rising.
Not days.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Taste every morsel.
Dance with abandon.
Stroll by the moonlight.
Not days.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Peace lives here.
You have the ability to make positive changes in your life.
Right here. Right now.
Don’t wait for “the perfect time” to transform your life.
NOW IS YOUR POWER.
This post is for anyone experiencing FOMO. Particularly on a long weekend holiday!
Psychology Insight:
Holidays heighten social anxiety of every kind.
FOMO especially.
Consider these questions as you explore what’s going on below the surface.
1. Do you remember the first time you experienced FOMO?
2. How did you cope with the anxiety of missing out?
3. What if anything would you be willing to give up in your life in exchange for the fantasy of someone else’s life or experience?
4. What about your life do you cherish above all else?
Please share in the comments below, including your own strategies for handling FOMO. I’d love to know!
Savour this moment.
1. What would you stop doing if you only had one year to live?
2. What would you start doing if you only had one year to live?
3. What do you need to let go of to feel a sense of happiness, well-being, and peace?
4. What and who do you no longer want to be obligated to?
5. What joy do you wish you had more time for?
Take a long deep breath and meditate on your answers. You’ll be surprised at what your soul has to say.
Dear Readers:
This video is equally a note to you + me reminding us to live with discernment and wisdom. For not everyone in our life appreciates the limits of our time and energy. And that’s ok. For we are the magic wand. We have the power to make choices. We have the ability to overcome social conditioning. We have the authority to change what and who we want in our lives. What and who we give our energy to unnecessarily, repeatedly, unconsciously.
WE HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE.
This ^ is freedom.
Do your morning routines lighten you up?
Or bring you down?
No matter the day. No matter the moment.
Angel cards, hot coffee, and mindfulness take me there.
Fueling my creativity. Illuminating my path. Shifting me higher.
Today’s Angel Reading — Click Here
No matter the day. No matter the moment.
Angel cards, hot coffee, and mindfulness take me there.
For I have finally found the light in me.
Ready to share ☀️ with all that I meet.
One of my favourite things to do as a professor is to stay after class and talk to students. They look at the world in a very unique way. Motivating me to think about psychology at a whole different level.
FOMO is an acronym for fear of missing out, which is a feeling of anxiety that manifests itself in various ways, from a brief pang of envy to more intense feelings of self-doubt or inadequacy. Source: Macmillan Dictionary
In the video below I share the insightful questions my psychology students asked about social comparison and happiness today. Each question underscoring the famous quote:
FOMO and “measuring happiness” against each other’s’s lowlight reel (difficult times) and highlight reel (celebratory times) was also an active discussion on social media
How would you answer the questions posed by my students:
Optimism Bootcamp - Click Here
How we talk to ourselves matters tremendously.
Particularly in the eye of the storm.
Having a “go to” mantra in times of stress helps.
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A mantra that has helped me over the years is imagining myself:
during the dark times.
Today I wish the same for you.
May you see the blessing in every storm.
Preparing you.
Helpful Tips: Optimism Bootcamp
From my experience, it’s never the time, the day, or the month that brings good vibes. It’s how we feel on the inside. So why wait another minute for happy hour. Create the life you want wherever you are. 😊😊
Related Post: Happiness in Present Time
My husband and I met 17 years ago today on June 1, 2002. And I couldn’t imagine a better way to celebrate our happy hours together than with this little blog post. May your month of June overflow with love and joy too!
1. What area of your life do you need to slow down in?
2. What area of your life do you need to REV IT UP in?
Order them in terms of A to D with A being what matters most.
A Priorities =
Eating healthy.
Studying for final exams.
Getting a good night’s sleep.
D Priorities =
Watching Netflix until 2am.
Repeatedly checking Facebook posts.
Complaining about past relationships.
What’s on your A list today?
We live in a world weighed down by disaster, debt, and divorce. So it’s no surprise that we’ve been conditioned to believe that tragedies require tragic mindsets.
That serious issues demand serious attitudes. That hardships necessitate hardened spirits.
Thankfully we also live in a world overflowing with abundance, joy, and love. Same world. But we can’t see the good when we’re overwhelmed by the bad.
Making the shift from stress to strength can happen in a number of ways.
Laughter = instant stress relief. Taking a long deep breath runs a close second.
Laughter breaks the panic spell. The not enough mindset. The woe is me attitude. The negativity downturn.
Laughter connects people in present time. Friends and strangers! Think of the last time you laughed out loud with a cashier in the grocery line. (For me, it was last night ;.)
Today’s challenge is to lighten up. To breathe deeply into what stresses you.
To leave room for grace. To respond with a light heart and an open mind. To dance a little dance. To laugh with friends. To nourish your soul.
Ultimately to remember who you were – before life weighed you down.
For it’s in our joy that we find our voice. It’s in our abundance that we embrace our authenticity.
It’s in our laughter that we save the day.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. From not enough to overflowing.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
“Buddha described the human mind as being filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, carrying on endlessly. Fear is an especially loud monkey – screaming out all the things that could go wrong.” Source: HuffPost
When we’re caught in a loop of anxious thoughts, our amygdala goes into overdrive. Causing us to get stuck in the basement of our brains (the limbic system) where our stressful thoughts go around and around. With no end to the downward spiral in sight.
Time in nature gives us a chance to catch our breath, to see the light, to realize there’s a way out of this never-ending rumination loop.
The impact of nature on the human spirit is so profound that a hallmark study in 1984 showed that patients who had a room with a view healed faster than patients without a view. A mere glimpse of nature was enough to enhance their resilience.
Nature shifts our thoughts. Expands our awareness. Gives us hope. Lifts us up from the basement of our brains (amygdala) to the penthouse (cerebral cortex) where all solutions are possible.
“And into the forest I go to lose my mind and find my soul.”
Related Video: Five Grounding Techniques
