Strength during the lowest of lows?
Peace in difficulty?
Happiness during COVID-19?
In the video below, I share some personal examples from my own upbringing on how my parents found strength and contentment during even the darkest of times.
I’d love to hear your ideas, theories, and personal stories.
Video of Post → Click Here
WHY ARE WE SO HARD ON OURSELVES?
Great question!
One that I’m asked often. And one that I often ask myself.
The answer is multifaceted and includes several factors including how we were parented (when internalized superego and conscience first develops) and eventually how we parent ourselves.
For example:
When something goes wrong, how do you respond?
1. Self Criticism versus Self Compassion
2. Self Control versus Self Love and Understanding
How do I make the shift from self criticism to self compassion?
1. Pay attention to where your self judgements originated.
Is this your personal measure of worthiness or society’s expectation of success?
2. Investigate how truly arbitrary the standards you set for yourself are.
For example, who said you had to weigh 125 lbs, have a million dollars in the bank, and be married by 30?
3. Don’t Believe Everything You Think!
One of my favourite ways to energize before teaching psychology classes at St. Clair College is to summarize a theory in practical and concrete ways in the parking lot.
Literally! 🚘
I filmed this video 5 minutes before I was about to teach a lecture on personality and positive psychology in my liberal arts class.
Just a few weeks before all St. Clair College classes went fully online due to COVID-19.
In the video above, I talk about the connection between openness and happiness. Openness to experience is one of the Big 5 Personality traits – see figure below.
The more open, adventurous, and flexible we are in our thinking (and being), the more likely we are to perceive ambiguity as a pathway to something new and exciting.
A whole new road, yet to be discovered.
We never know what’s waiting on the other side of COVID uncertainty.
Even if we can’t see the outcome.
Together in faith, anything is possible!
Video of Post ⇒ Click Here
Everyone experiences time differently.
Because time truly is relative.
For example:
Time perception also varies from person to person.
For example:
Taken one step further, time defines who we are, and ultimately who we become.
How we live our days is how we live our lives.
Moments → Hours → Days → Months → Lifetimes
Which is why the more conscious and aware we become about how we spend and prioritize our time, the more meaningful and satisfying our lives will become.
Concrete Examples of Time Usage
Identify 5 ways you spend 100 units (dollars) of time each day. (As illustrated in the video)
Compare and contrast your “money time sheet” with family and friends.
When does time slow down for you? When does time speed up for you?
Are you more influenced by external measures of time?
Has your use of time changed since COVID?
Has your perception of time changed with age?
The trouble is, you think you have time.Jack Kornfield
Watch Video of Blog Post → Click Here
Three Ways ~ 2020 graduates ~ can bridge the gap between what was ~ and what will be.
All three resilience strategies described in full detail in the 8 minute video below:
Growth happens in the s p a c e in between.
This video presentation was created in partnership with the Student Representative Council (SRC) at St. Clair College in Windsor Ontario Canada.
I wanted to share how I have been keeping hope alive in my heart and soul during COVID-19. Specifically, by expanding my reach with new virtual experiences.
This Spring I experienced my first “live” recorded internet conversation.
A fun adventure where I share both my home (I literally take you on a video tour) and the routines that keep me smiling – despite the universal crisis we are all experiencing simultaneously.
with Dr. Andrea Dinardo & Samantha Piercell
In the past, online interactions were “an extra” to everyday conversation.
Now they are a necessity for both business and our way of life. An important and crucial way to stay connected to each other and to our hopes and dreams for the future.
“Adapt or Die” may sound harsh.
But adaptation is truly what’s being asked of us in every area of our lives right now.
So I figure I might as well jump right in!
Because I would rather ride the wave, than have the wave ride me. 🌊
Watch F45 LIVE Interview → Click Here
How are you coping with our shared worldwide experience?
After socially distancing for several days, and working full-time from home as a psychology professor (now online), I had never felt more appreciative and grateful for all the simple joys in my life.
Walking on campus. Smiling in the hallways. Laughing with students. Chatting in the parking lot. Coffee at Starbucks. High Fives At The Gym. Wandering Freely Through Bookstores. Movies at Silver City. Buttery popcorn. Ice cold pop. A Gathering in The Park.
So much goodness that I often took for granted in the course of an ordinary day.
Every adversity, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.
What is the higher lesson in all of this?
In the video above created for a community resilience project — I share all the ways my husband John and I are thriving (instead of merely surviving) the COVID-19 crisis. Including counting our blessings like never before.
Now is the opportunity to come together as a resilient community. From the basement of our fears to the penthouse of our faith. Rising in unison. Together in strength and love.
What has COVID-19 crisis awakened in you?
How has your inner and outer life evolved?
How have you thrived and grown?
Stay Well My Friends! 🌍 🦋
“Like the butterfly, I have the hope, the strength, and the faith to believe that in time, we will emerge from our cocoon transformed.
Judged and scrutinized.
Like all eyes are on you and every potential error you make?
Think back to the first time you gave a dinner party, swung a golf club, wrote a college exam, or posted your first blog online.
Individuals with social anxiety experience this sense of being watched (and thought about) significantly more than the average person.
Independent of skills and expertise.
One potential explanation is a psychological phenomenon called imaginary audience experienced frequently in adolescence.
Think back to how easily embarrassed you were as a teenager.
Resulting in perpetual self-consciousness, distorted views of how others saw you, causing in a tendency to conform for fear of sticking out.
Two studies explored imaginary audience phenomenon among college students.
Imaginary audience behavior was found to be related to measures of social anxiety, self perception, and personality.
Furthermore, imaginary audience scores were more strongly related to anxiety than abstract reasoning.
These results suggest that imaginary audience experiences that persist into early adulthood have more to do with social anxiety than with cognitive development.
Original Source: Click Here
The next time you imagine you are being watched, talked about, or judged by others, remember that imaginary audience IS AN ILLUSION heightened by social media, physiology (eg., lack of sleep), and overthinking.
This is a very good thing!
Live like nobody’s watching. Love like nobody’s watching. Succeed like nobody’s watching. Fail like nobody’s watching. Write like nobody’s watching!
Video of Post ⇒ Click Here
But we have to look UP to see it.
OPEN our minds to BELIEVE it.
The next time you see a 40 km, 50 km, or even 100 km sign — take it as an opportunity to visualize where (and who) you want to be at that age.
Additionally, use each “sign” as instant reflection time for contemplating: 1) what you need to do more of and 2) what you need to let go of to get there.
What signs have you noticed lately?
I was recently interviewed by wellness entrepreneur Christa Realba for her Ambitious Mama Podcast Series.
In different gradients, and at different times for sure. Depending on where you are on your journey.
The key is to not get stuck in the challenge and let pain become your identity.
To learn from it. To rise up and begin again when the time is right.
In addition to the podcast, resilience is discussed in more detail in my TEDx Talk and on my Psychology Blog, both called “Thriving Under Pressure”: https://DrAndreaDinardo.com
Do you believe thriving under pressure + posttraumatic growth are possible for all of us? Why or why not? Tune into my latest podcast interview and let me know what you think!
Related Post: Teaching Resilience at School
