My husband John and I had dinner at this little restaurant in Niagara-on-the-Lake when I was away speaking at a conference this week. This single pink rose reminded me of the one thing that truly matters. HOPE. I have hope. In you. In me. In our future. I have hope. 💕
Wishing you a long weekend filled with flowers and sunshine.
Hot coffee. Cozy blankets. Birds singing. The sun rising. Fast runs. Slow walks. Long days. Warm hugs. Peaceful silences. BLT sandwiches. Tomato soup. Matinee movies. Buttery popcorn. Ice cold pop. Walking on campus. Smiling in the hallways. Laughing with students. Learning from students. Driving home. Soulful conversations. Dreaming of the future. Reminiscing about the past. Living fully in the moment. Riding bikes. Dancing down the street. Barbeque dinners. Chocolate almonds. Stephen King novels. Hot Tea. Cozy Blankets. Birds Singing…
Nothing is more extraordinary than our ordinary joys. For how we live our days is how we live the whole of our lives.
Smile like you’re changing the world. Because you are. 🌸
We often think of changing of the world as some great big, grand gesture. Performed on stage with millions of people watching. When in fact it’s just you and me (and 7 billion others). Smiling, connecting, caring, and loving. Every moment. Every encounter. We are the dominos.
I have the pleasure of starting each day with my husband John.
Each morning begins at 6am with an hour of coffee talk weekends included.
No alarm clock necessary.
Having something as wonderful as hot coffee and good conversation to look forward to each day is its own wake up call.
This morning I asked John to share why he thought he was born.
Deep talk, I know.
But that’s just how life rolls when you’re married to a psychologist.
John’s answer: “To make one person’s life better that day.”
To which I replied: “Purpose achieved.” (He makes the best coffee!)
This conversation got me thinking about how important it is to live our purpose in short 24 hour segments. Too long a timeline and we feel lost and overwhelmed.
Name the purpose. Claim the day. Leave the details up to the universe.
Who. What. Where. When. How. Are spontaneous.
Simply be on the lookout for one opportunity to be on purpose for one day.
Have you ever wondered how your best friend lives so freely “moment-to-moment” while your mind is imprisoned by thoughts of past events and/or planning of future events (so neatly) written in your (overly structured) daytimer?
Brain Hemispheric Specialization provides insight into why some of us are more present focused and able to “go with the flow” (Right Brain dominant); while others are busy planning their days with the step-by-step precision of a NASA engineer (Left Brain dominant).
Your Brain and Behaviour
Despite being identical in structure, the two halves of the brain specialize in how they process information (e.g., Past vs. Present), and how they function (e.g., Verbal vs. Nonverbal).
Time Processing: Past vs. Present
Left hemisphere – processes information sequentially, one bit at a time
Right hemisphere – processes information globally, considering it as a whole
Brain Functions: Linguistic vs. Spatial
Left hemisphere – includes verbal tasks, such as speaking, reading, thinking, and reasoning.
Right hemisphere – includes nonverbal areas such as the understanding of spatial relationships, recognition of patterns and drawings, music, and emotional expression,
Personally, I obtained a score of 10 on this test – indicating that I am equally Left and Right Brained.
Which didn’t surprise me as I often “lay the table” with outlines, organizers, etc. (Left Brain) and the moment I feel safe, grounded, and prepared, I sit back and watch the ideas fly! (Right Brain)
What about you? How did you score on the Left/Right Brain Dominance Test? Was it what you expected? Were the results consistent with how you live your life? Did you learn something new about yourself?
2. Watch the following 20 minute video to: a) learn firsthand about L-R brain specialization and b) discover how Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor turned her real-life tragedy into an awe inspiring “Stroke of Insight“. I am still moved to tears by her story! I hope you are too. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is resilience personified.
The more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner peace circuitry of our right hemisphere, the more peaceful our planet will be.
TEDx Speaker Jill Bolte Taylor
Psychology Class
This post is a summary of this week’s psychology lecture and Chapter 2 of my psychology textbook.
I look up every chance I get. First thing in the morning. On my run. On my way to work. In between classes. Out for a bike ride. From the skylight in my office. On the front porch before I go to sleep.
Connected to Something Bigger
The sky connects us to something much bigger than ourselves. Challenges seem small in comparison to the vastness of the sky. Solutions seem plausible. Answers come more easily.
The stars heighten our awareness, expand our field of possibilities, and relax our mind. In their presence, we embrace the profound and surrender it all. When we look up, we become fully present. In the moment. Completely mindful. Nowhere else to be but one with the sky above.
Peace of Mind
The celestial bodies provide a sense of comfort, peace of mind, and well-being. No matter what happens, the sun will rise, the stars will shine, and the moon will glow.
Blazing sunsets, radiant full moons, and shimmering constellations are all reassuring reminders that we are in this life together. We are united. We share the same magnificent celestial view. No matter what happens, we share equal access to the divine, all-powerful universe. We are one. We are never alone.
From Me to We
Recent research at the University of California confirms that a “me to we” transformation takes place when exposed to nature. The study found that inducing a sense of awe (e.g., star gazing; looking at the ocean) in participants shifted their focus from personal needs (small self) to greater concern for society at large (altruistic behaviour).
“Inducing a sense of awe in people can promote altruistic, helpful and positive social behavior, according to research. Awe is that sense of wonder we feel in the presence of something vast that transcends our understanding of the world. People commonly experience awe in nature, but also in response to religion, art and even music. When experiencing awe, you may not, egocentrically speaking, feel like you’re at the centre of the world anymore. By diminishing the emphasis on the individual self, awe may encourage people to forgo strict self-interest to improve the welfare of others.” Source: Science Daily
“The sun, the moon, and the stars are there to guide us.” Dennis Banks
I am starstruck every time I look up. I am in awe. The sun, the moon, and the stars are the true celebrities in our universe. Always shining. Always inspiring. Always showing us the way.
Smile like you’re changing the world. Because you are. 🌸
We often think of changing of the world as some great big, grand gesture. Performed on stage with millions of people watching. When in fact it’s just you and me (and 7 billion others). Smiling, connecting, caring, and loving. Every moment. Every encounter. We are the dominos.
Even though we often have little control over the “outside forces” in our lives, we can always make a positive difference – from the inside out.
Start here. Right here. Right now. Be still. Breathe in gratitude. Be thankful for this very moment. Start small. Notice your passing thoughts. Let go.
Awareness empowers.
Notice the exact time it is right now. Say today’s date out loud. Look up at the sky. Wink at the clouds. Stomp your feet on the floor. Smile with gusto.
Slowly bring yourself back to this moment.
Grab onto the coffee mug you are holding. Inhale the rich scent of the sumatra you are drinking. Feel the warmth of each passing breath.
Feel the texture of the clothes you’re wearing. Wake up to the sound of your voice. Whisper. Sing. Shout it out!
Dance a little dance. Stand up tall. Anything and everything that shifts you from outer space to inner spirit. Fromnot enough to overflowing.
Positive change begins within.
Come back to yourself. Back to the grace of your magnificent spirit. Into the beauty of your incredible form. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Sense the pulse of life itself.
Everything you need to transform yourself and the world already exists within you. You matter. You truly matter. But you have to believe it to see it. Feel it to know it. One gentle, uplifting thought at a time.
When you notice the blessings in your life (big or small), happiness happens. One conscious thought. One mindful emotion. One insightful gesture. One moment of wonder.. at a time.☀️
Each time we feel threatened (threat is the fundamental definition of stress) our first instinct is to “fight or flight“. PUFF UP or Shrink. This perpetual “fight or flight” response loop eventually creates a host of secondary problems, above and beyond, the original stressor (or oppressor).
It does not matter how we attempt to “control” a stressful situation – physically, verbally, or by running away from it. Eventually, a repetitive “fight or flight” response cycle will take a significant physical and psychological toll.
I love questions like this because they encourage me to dig deep, reflect, and imagine new ways of perceiving stress.
Stress Thresholds
Tipping points and thresholds are often used synonymously in the literature. Especially when discussing economic, historical, and ecological phenomenon.
That said, there is a clear distinction between thresholds and tipping points in psychological applications.
Thresholds are more individual (unique to each person), while tipping points are more universal (shared by the majority).
Which is why I see each person’s stress response as more of a stress threshold than a tipping point.
Thresholds vary from person to person (e.g., Type A vs. Type B), situation to situation (e.g., Work vs. Personal), and are based on individual strengths, challenges, and personal history.
See diagram above to help understand how thresholds affect your individual stress response. This graphic also depicts why a certain level of stress (below threshold) can be good for you.
Assess when you cross the threshold from your optimal stress zone (eustress) into your overload stress zone (distress).
Situational Stress, Anxiety, and Thresholds
We may be good at some things, but we are not great at everything.
For example, the more challenging academic work is for me (high stress threshold) the more I flourish. Mostly because this is my area of expertise.
While this is not the case with other areas of my life (low stress threshold) and thus I tend to react (too quickly) when under pressure in certain personal situations.
In addition to overall stress response patterns, thresholds differ from one situation to the next.
Situational fluctuations in thresholds reflect our strengths, challenges, and personal preferences.
Finally, I believe that our ability to cope and thrive under pressure is a lifelong practice. Something that is never mastered – only strengthened.
And the more we learn about life and ourselves, the higher our thresholds will become. As the majority of our stress is beating ourselves up – long after the stressor is gone.
3 C’s of Thriving Under Pressure
Reflection Questions About Stress
How does your stress threshold differ from others?
Compare your personal stress threshold to family members, friends, coworkers.
Are you the most high strung of your siblings?
Are you the most carefree teacher in the school?
In what situations is your stress threshold higher vs. lower?
Compare your situational stress threshold across multiple settings.
When do you stress out at work?
Is it only during public presentations?
In contrast, when are you more relaxed relaxed and easy going?
Are you more relaxed during independent work?
What are the benefits of stress and pressure in your life?
Trust that you are exactly where you need to be. Good or bad. High or low. East or west. Young or old. Be still. Have faith. Hold on. Stay strong. What you seek is seeking you.💙
99% of blaming, worry, and rumination is a figment of our imagination (aka our ego). Remove the barriers to your joy. Trust this moment. Release judgment. Be still. Let go.. Happiness is patiently waiting for you.
Life is full of highs and lows. Wins and losses. Joys and sorrows. Celebrations and defeats. Too much and too little.
Make the shift.
Nothing shifts us from scarcity to abundance more quickly than a sudden moment of appreciation and gratitude.
Multiply your treasures.
Take a moment (this moment) to look up and breathe in all that you are grateful for. Right here. Right now.
Bless what is.
Be it the fresh air that you breathe. The clean water that you drink. The sunshine over your left shoulder. Your child playing nearby. The captivating twinkle your friend’s eye.
That moment in the day when you realize “you’ve arrived”.
And the most interesting part is that you haven’t gone anywhere.
Instead, you finally come home to the present moment.
The here and now. The sweet spot.
No where else to be. But here and now.
Right Here. Right Now.
This picture is from a retreat I did with one of my best friends nine years ago. The speaker asked each participant to share when they felt most at peace.
Each participant shared a different story. From when their newborn baby finally slept through the night to when they finally received their promotion at work to when their boyfriend finally proposed.
My answer was (unexpectedly) simple. I shared that I felt most at peace in that very moment. “No were else to be. But here and now.”
Wide Awake to Everything.
I had finally found my sweet spot. A place where “all is well” no matter the circumstances. A place I had been before. But failed to recognize.
A place positive psychologists call flow, and alternatively, mindfulness. A sweet spot that sparkles. Lights up. Expands. Stands still. Speeds up. And flows..
All day long.💛💫
Thriving Under Pressure 