Reading People: Lesson #1 Self Awareness

“The simple act of paying attention can take you a long, long way.”

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Intrapersonal Intelligence ⇔ Interpersonal Intelligence

The first lesson in reading people, using the principles of emotional intelligence, is to understand yourself more deeply.

What motivates you. What excites you. What angers you. What lifts you up!

As self-awareness is essential for both personal and relationship success.

If you can’t comprehend your own emotions and motivations, how will you ever understand the behaviour of others?

Understanding Yourself  ⇔ Understanding Others

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Self-awareness as a daily practice.

Notice how your emotions ebb and flow throughout the day.

One way of doing this is to schedule time at the end or beginning of your day for quiet contemplation and self-reflection.

Find your favourite place to relax and unwind. Perhaps in the garden or in a cozy chair by the window. Or on a walk by the trees. 

Alternatively, enjoy a 2 minute “Self Check In” at the top of each hour.

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Pause. Reflect. Breathe Deeply.

Journal. Meditate. Create. 

What you will find is the more consistently you pay attention to your own drives and desires, the better you will understand the emotions and motivations of others.

Simple self-awareness exercise.

In the video below, I share the simple exercise I use to enhance self-awareness in myself and others. Can you guess the EQ questions I ask students?

Your Turn:

How would you describe yourself in one word?

To hear my “one word” — check out the 1 min video above.  📌🎥


Coming Soon!

Reading People: Lesson #2 

Managing Your Emotions

Here I am.

The aftermath.

No matter how many times I give a speech or participate in a big event, I am often left with the same feeling for a day or so.

Sadness. A kind of longing. A sense of emptiness.

For weeks, sometimes months, I practice, prepare, and edit my work. Immersed, focused, lost in the creative flow.

At night. On weekends. During all my free time. Hoping to do my best. Not wanting to let down.

Researching. Anticipating. Building  up to the main event.

Afterward, what was once was filled with busyness is an open space. A hollowness that cannot be filled by looking back or planning ahead.

An ache. A void. For no good logical reason.

A place inside that can only be filled in present time.

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So I go for a bike ride knowing how Mother Nature always soothes my heart and replenishes my soul.

There is no more looking back or ahead when I am outside.

At that moment I hear three words deep in my heart.

Here I am.

Here I am.

For solace cannot be found in travelling through time.

It can only be found in where you are right now.

Here I am.

in the blooming trees

in the birds soaring

in the sun setting

in the water flowing

in this moment wherever you are.

Here I am. 💚

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Ordinary Joys.

Simple pleasures are my favourite.

Hot coffee. Cozy blankets. Birds singing. The sun rising. Fast runs. Slow walks. Long days. Warm hugs. Peaceful silences. BLT sandwiches. Tomato soup. Matinee movies. Buttery popcorn. Ice cold pop. Walking on campus. Smiling in the hallways. Laughing with students. Learning from students. Driving home. Soulful conversations. Dreaming of the future. Reminiscing about the past. Living fully in the moment. Riding bikes. Dancing down the street. Barbeque dinners. Chocolate almonds. Stephen King novels. Hot Tea. Cozy Blankets. Birds Singing… 

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Nothing is more extraordinary than our ordinary joys. For how we live our days is how we live the whole of our lives.


What brings you joy on an ordinary day?

Less fight. More serenity.

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The next time you’re gearing up for another big fight with reality.

Morning Traffic

Office Politics

Loud Neighbours

Unpredictable Weather

Try rolling with it.

Giving up the fight.

Waving the white flag.

Surrendering to what is.

And always has been.

The upside.

You conserve energy for the joyful in your life.

The meaningful in your life.

The soulful in your life.

Including this very moment.

This is where your life SHINES.

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Breathe and Receive.

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When I’m struggling to get through a difficult day, I look to the trees for inspiration and refuge.

All they do is give.

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And all we need to do is receive.

Again and again.

With every single breath.

And every single step.

 Peace lives here.

The key to happiness.

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Let go of what is outside your control.

The next time you are gearing up for another fight with reality. Winter; Traffic; Parking; Deadlines. Try rolling with it. Surrendering to what is. Letting go. No matter the circumstances.

Hold on to what brings you joy.

In surrendering, you save precious energy for the joyful in your life. The meaningful in your life. The soulful in your life. Including this very moment. This is where happiness lives.

Related Post: Letting Life Flow.

Work hard. Rest. Repeat.

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To All Nursing Students, including my own:

If I were to assign any homework this weekend it would be to take a break.

10 minutes at a time.

5 times a day.

Because you have all worked exceptionally hard the past two weeks.

And a good rest is half the work.

Although things may not have gone your way.

Not exactly as you had planned.

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You are still here.

This is something to celebrate.

Because showing up and being fully present is the essence of being a spectacular nurse.

And training to be a nurse is as much about the journey as the knowledge itself.

Take a breath.

Take a rest.

Give yourself credit.

For ALL that brought you here.

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Focus on the ENTIRE process.

Not just one paper. Or one test.

Because the only way to finish a marathon is to take the water from the sidelines, eat the food along the way, and most importantly celebrate every step in the journey.

No matter how small.

No matter how challenging.

And if you need motivation to take a break, see this post:

https://drandreadinardo.com/2016/12/03/give-yourself-a-break/

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I am sending you all good vibes.

All day long.

Every step of the way.

YOU GOT THIS !!

Dr. D. 😊

5 Tips to Help Students Focus Better.

This post was inspired by the one question students ask year after year:

“How can I focus better when I study?”

Focus has as much to do with what happens before you study as what happens while you are studying.

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1. Remove ALL distractions.

  • Shut off your phone. Better yet — put it awayJust looking at it takes up mental space
  • Research shows the mere presence of a smartphone on your desk impairs intellect and reduces brain power.
  • And if you can’t trust yourself to hit the switch – lock your phone in the trunk of your car and give a trusted friend the key until you are done studying. No kidding!
  • You’ll miss it for the first 20 minutes of your study session, then you’ll forget all about it.
  • Bonus = you’ll get twice as much work done in half the time.

2. Be an ACTIVE studier.

  • Do not passively read the textbook – you will fall asleep, I guarantee it!
  • Instead, engage with the material.
  • Get active. Make the chapter come alive!
  • Have a classmate or friend quiz you.
  • Do end of chapter tests.
  • Read the textbook chapters out loud.
  • Teach the subject to someone, anyone!

3.  Clear out MENTAL CLUTTER.

  • Empty your mind of your to do lists, worries, and what ifs before you study.
  • Write them down and put them in a worry box to be tended to once exams are complete.
  • Repetitive thoughts running through your head could be your biggest distraction.

4. Take frequent MOVEMENT breaks.

  • Burn off pent-up, restless energy during study breaks.
  • Get up. Walk around.
  • Do not grab your phone.
  • Move your body!  Sing a song.
  • Draw a picture. Clap out loud! 
  • Open a window. Smell fresh air.
  • Go outside. Hug a tree!

5. REWARD yourself… eventually!

  • Use the Premack Principle to reward yourself.
  • Delayed gratification can be an excellent tool for sustaining attention and motivation.
  • Make a list of all the things that are distracting you from studying and use them as rewards once all your studying is done.
  • Go to Starbucks as a reward for studying, not as your location to study. (Too many distractions!)
  • Bonus = you’ll get twice as much work done in half the time and you’ll have a special treat to look forward to when all your hard work is done.
  • Your success is worth the wait!

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Related Post: I believe in you.